After speaking to his father, after crying to his father about what had happened to his best friend, he retreated to his room.
Once back in his room, Elliot was relieved to receive a call from Gemma, especially after learning that she was okay for the most part. But then finding out that she was going to be talking to her father, put him on edge again. Now he was just waiting for her phone call to let him know everything was as okay as it could be.
After watching the sun set, Elliot heard his mother call him for dinner. He then heard his father tell his mother to let him come down when he was ready. Truthfully, Elliot didn’t think he could eat. His stomach was still in knots and the images in his mind wouldn’t let his stomach settle long enough to unravel.
So he waited the day away.
And he paced.
It was just after eight-thirty when his phone lit up finally. Rushing to his desk, Elliot grabbed the phone anxious to hear from Gemma. But he was disappointed to see it was just Josh. He really didn’t want to talk to his friend because he didn’t know if Josh was calling to bitch at him too or if he was calling as a friend. But wanting to get it over with and free up the line just in case, he answered. “Hello?”
“Hey man, what are you doing?” Josh asked.
He thought for a moment about his answer. “Just watching television. You?”
“Nothing,” Josh responded. “Hey, did you see Gemma last night?”
“Yeah,” Elliot responded slowly. “Why, what’s up?”
“It’s nothing. Just Christie called me and said you guys were having a fight and that she can’t get a hold of Gemma. She said she can’t reach Leighanna either.” Josh sounded exasperated. “Honestly, I just wanted to call to see why she’s having a shit fit.”
Elliot laughed. “She always does think she’s so important that people have to stop everything for her.”
“Yeah she does,” Josh agreed, but then quickly added, “But don’t tell her I said that.”
“I won’t. But I’ll tell you the same thing I told her, when I saw Gemma last night, she was…okay. And I left her at her house.” It was mostly the truth. It was Gemma’s decision to tell their friends or not what had happened to her.
“Cool,” Josh trailed off. “Listen, I just want to give you a heads up, the way Christie was talking, she’s pissed. She hasn’t talked like that in a long time, not since there terrible twosome were a constant. Haven’t seen her with them, but then again, I’m not around her twenty-four seven now, you know?”
“Ugh! Seriously?” Elliot moaned at the thought of what his friend was implying.
“Tell me about it,” Josh agreed. “Well, like I said, just wanted to give you a heads up. She was a bitch to me back then, so I’m sure living with her wasn’t all that great either.”
“You got that right. Alright, man, thanks for the warning. I’ll talk to you tomorrow then.” With that, they disconnected.
Sitting on his bed, Elliot closed his eyes and released a breath. He was so glad that conversation went quick and well. He did not want to be in a fight with everyone. But then again, he hated the warning. Things were already bad enough, he didn’t need more headache in the form of Christie and her friends. Just then his phone buzzed. Opening his eyes, he saw Gemma’s smiling face gazing up at him from his phone. Quickly swiping his finger across the screen, he answered. “Hi.”
“Hi,” she breathed.
He didn’t know what to say. He could ask how the talk went, but from the sounds of her breathing, the tone of her voice, he could deduce that while it had gone well, it had been horrible for her. “How do you… are you okay?”
Gemma sniffled. “It was horrible. He cried, Elliot. My dad cried. I’ve never seen my dad cry before. I didn’t know he could,” she whispered sadly. “My mom helped me tell him, and halfway through, he stood up, left the room and when he returned, he had his guns and just started loading them. He wanted a description so he could go kill them. If mom hadn’t stopped him, told him to think about what he was trying to do, he probably would have.”
While Gemma cried into his ear, Elliot felt his heart rate pick up. He wanted to help Andrew Grady. But he wouldn’t tell Gemma that. “Shh, shh, shh. It’s okay,” he tried to sooth. But she only cried harder. Through her sobs, she tried telling him that her father wasn’t mad at her, that he was so sad for her, and that they would do whatever it took to get the guys off the street. “See, I told you he wouldn’t hate you.”
“I just, can’t be sure, you know? None of this would have happened if I’d just been honest.”
Shaking his head even though she couldn’t see, Elliot pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sweetheart, please stop blaming yourself. This is their fault. Not yours. You telling a lie will never justify their actions.” Listening to her sniffle through the receiver was breaking his heart. “I’d give anything to be there with you right now, holding you.” It wasn’t meant to come out, but it was how he felt.
“I wish you could too,” Gemma whispered through her sobs. For as much as men terrified her, she wanted Elliot with her, keeping her feeling safe. With a heavy sigh, Gemma calmed a little. “I won’t be at school for a couple of days; my parents are going to say it’s the flu, and I do feel a little sick. But Dr. Lindley told me that was something I could possibly expect with the um, that morning after pill thing.” She was embarrassed by that admission. Here she was, some plain regular girl who had never even kissed a boy before last night, let alone had sex, and all of a sudden she had to take a pill that would stop an unwanted pregnancy because of…. Her heart began to race, began to push blood to her brain so that the memories would come back at her, but she pushed them down. Instead she focused on something else.
“Leigh won’t be in tomorrow either. She’s already told Trent she’s got a small cold or something. Says it was from how late she was out with him.” She had expected her sister to divulge the truth to her boyfriend, so when Leigh said Trent only needed to know that she wouldn’t be in, Gemma felt relieved. “Everyone is going tomorrow. Dad is taking a half day. I told him that you were going to take me and he seems okay with that. You should have seen his face knowing it was you who found me.”
Elliot couldn’t imagine what Gemma’s dad was feeling; knowing what was done to your only child-by blood, at least-and then finding out her pathetic excuse for a friend was the one to pick her up. He just hoped Andrew Grady didn’t hate him for having his little girl put in a horrible situation because of stupidity. “So I can drop by still after school?” He wanted to be there for her so badly, because he needed to tell his story too.
“Yeah. We can all go together then.” Gemma picked at the lint on her sleeve. She was in Elliot’s shirt again. He couldn’t be there with her, but his shirt made her feel better. It was going to be a rough night.
“Did um, did Leigh ever talk to Christie?” Elliot asked after the a few moments. He had avoided dinner, and hadn’t bothered to venture to find out if Christie was over her tantrum.
“I think so,” Gemma replied. “Leigh was texting earlier, but she didn’t have the usual smile like she gets when it’s Trent.” She remembered how serious her sister had looked, phone in hand, fingers flying over the screen. Leigh had told Gemma that as far as Trent knew, they were both sick though Gemma managed to get the worst of it so they were staying home. She knew it would help keep him away since the last thing the football player wanted was to catch a cold and be out of the game. Gemma was so thankful. Then she mentioned talking to Christie and after some time, Leigh was back at her phone. “Is Christie still hounding you?”
“Haven’t seen her since this morning’s attack.” At Gemma’s intake of breath, Elliot forgot he never went into details, just asked to have Leigh talk to his sister. So he gave a brief rundown of what had happened. “I ended up having to talk to my dad earlier.” If she asked, he’d tell her, otherwise he’d wait till another time.
“I can’t believe she would say those things to you,” Gemma began
. “I mean yeah, I get it to a degree since whatever, but she was being mean, not helpful.” She didn’t understand what had propelled Christie to speak to Elliot that way. Yes, she hated his obsession with Trisha Scott, and yes, Christie knew Gemma like Elliot and it made her miserable to see him pine for someone else, but how was yelling at him helping the cause? And why was Christie acting like Elliot actually hurt her? “I’m sorry she did that.”
“It’s all right. I’m over it.”
“What did your dad say?”
This was the moment he’d been dreading, because his dad really didn’t say anything about his fight with Christie. He’d just asked what happened and the floodgates had opened. “He um, well, he was very understanding.” He’d start there.
“At her or toward you?”
“Me,” he hedged, his voice low.
Several minutes passed, as Elliot’s words hung in the air, like a confirmation slowly falling into place. Until finally, Gemma spoke, “He knows, doesn’t he?”
There was no accusation in her tone, but Elliot could hear the twinge of hurt. “Yeah, he does.” He took a deep breath, hoping to keep the images he’d replayed for his father at bay. “It wasn’t planned. Christie just bombarded me, and dad asked me to speak with him. He asked me why I would fight my sister like that, you know, what could possibly be so important that I would fight so hard with Christie over it, because there had never been anything so completely important before, and I told him something had happened and Christie just didn’t get it. Next thing I know, I can’t stop the words from spewing out.” He placed his head in his free hand, eyes pinched shut. “I didn’t mean to say anything, but it was too much to deal with. I’m so sorry, Gemma. I didn’t mean to betray your trust. I shouldn’t have said anything. I just couldn’t stop it.”
Gemma let her friend’s words process through her mind, grasping them beyond the point that he’d told someone. She didn’t know what to think or how to feel. Elliot told his dad, he told him! It was no longer close to her anymore, the event had gained wings and spread farther than her house and Elliot’s mind. What would happen next, she wondered. Who else would find out? The thought alone made her panic. “Can I… would it be okay if I talked to you tomorrow?”
He felt punched in the gut. He knew he shouldn’t have told, but he had to. Not telling, not having anyone know for him was debilitating. He felt smothered and helpless. He needed support too, and his dad was the perfect person for it. But he’d still violated the tenuous trust Gemma now carried for everyone. He would need to find a way to gain it back. “Uh, yeah. I’ll see you after school tomorrow.” He didn’t want to hang up, but he knew she needed time, and nothing he said or did would change how she felt right this moment.
“Goodnight, Elliot,” Gemma whispered before disconnecting the call.
He sat back against his headboard, his heart heavy and near breaking, with new tears in his eyes.
CHAPTER FIVE
Gemma hardly slept that night. And on more than one occasion, when she did manage to close her eyes, she woke up screaming. After the third time, Leighanna decided to stay with her. It was then she told her sister what Elliot had done.
“He told his dad,” she whispered in the soft light of the lamp. Sleeping in the dark was too much for her right now.
“What?”
“Elliot. He told his dad what happened to me.” There was a long moment where neither spoke, the only sound in the room the ticking of an old clock on the wall.
Leighanna turned onto her side, looking at Gemma in the soft glow. She had a pensive look on her face, like her mind was in overdrive and the words wouldn’t form right. Finally, she shook her head. “Gemma, does it bother you? Does it bother you that he told his dad?”
“What happened, happened to me,” Gemma replied fiercely, finally voicing the hurt she’d felt earlier but had kept to herself. “It happened to me and I should be the one to decide who finds out.”
“That’s not true,” Leigh began and then quickly continued before Gemma could protest. “Yes, you were the one attacked, but think about it. Elliot found you. He found you.” The words hung in the quiet, but Gemma said nothing, not entirely comprehending. “Don’t you get it? You guys are best friends. Elliot saw those guys, and he found you, beat up, broken. He saw all of that and with more clarity than any sixteen year old boy I’ve ever met, knew to get you help. He didn’t panic; he got you the help you needed.”
“But he didn’t have to say anything,” her voice rose, tears once again staining her cheeks as sobs took over. “He shouldn’t have said anything. It happened to me. It happened to me.”
“But it happened to Elliot, too,” Leigh argued against Gemma’s tearful gasp. “Sweetie, Elliot saw the guys who hurt you. And right after seeing them, he found you in that alley, badly hurt. Don’t you think those images are affecting him? Even a little? Don’t you think, being that you are best friends, the whole situation is hurting him? Best friends care about each other, and I’m positive that knowing you were hurt, knowing you’re still hurting, is tearing him apart. He can’t fix this. He’s attached himself to you, since you said he’d held your hand the whole time. So wouldn’t it stand to reason that maybe he needs a shoulder to lean on too? Wouldn’t it make sense that he told his dad because he needed someone to be there for him like you do?”
Gemma said nothing, just wiped her tears away angrily. With a sigh, Leighanna grabbed her sister’s hand, laying it with hers on the shared pillow. “I don’t think he did it to hurt you, or to betray your trust. I think Elliot told his dad because he needs help too. You guys are not adults here. And this is too much for most grown-ups to handle. I know that I am so glad mom and dad know because I wouldn’t be able to deal with it on my own. So, why can’t you understand why Elliot would need the same?”
Her tears continued to fall, but they were no longer the result of a feeling of betrayal. She could see what her sister was saying, see the pieces start to fall into place and realize for all her anger, it wasn’t justified toward the right individual. She could see her sister gripping her stepmom as she relayed her story. She replayed the images of the family consoling one another once her dad found out. She’d never seen her dad hold his family so tightly. She remembered how close Mary stayed to Elliot while they were at the hospital.
“I probably hurt him more, huh?” she said more to herself. Hadn’t she been dwelling on the fact that Elliot had seen her wounds, had seen her disgrace? Hadn’t she just been lamenting the fact that he had seen the absolute worst and what he thought about it? More than anything, she knew those images would linger. “I probably really hurt him.”
Leigh shook her head. “I think he understands. I’m sure he’ll beat himself up over it for a while, cause we both know how that boy likes to drag things out, but he’ll understand. Just talk to him.” Gemma reached for her cell phone, but stopped when Leighanna’s hand appeared on her shoulder. “Talk to him tomorrow. He’s probably asleep right now.”
LtB
He stayed awake for hours. By the time three-thirty had rolled around, Elliot still hadn’t managed to find sleep. If not for the images that continued to haunt him, it was the knowledge that he’d helped to hurt Gemma more by betraying her trust in him.
He knew he shouldn’t have told his dad anything. He knew she would feel hurt that he did. But on the same token, there was no way to stop the words from falling from his lips. They needed to get out, needed to be heard. Every fiber of his being shook with the push to let his feelings be heard, and he trusted his father the most in his life. He simply needed to purge the pain, guilt, sadness, and anger away and his dad was his hero. Elliot knew there was no one else he could trust above him.
But his action had hurt Gemma. After putting her through so much in regards to Trisha, the last thing he needed to do was add to the list of wrongs he’d done against her. He didn’t know if she’d forgive him for this. He couldn’t see how she would ever be able to trust him after this.
Glancing at his clock and noticing it was nearing four in the morning, he sighed heavily. Were he still going, he would have to be up in an hour for school. Thankfully, his father had taken pity on Elliot, heard his sobs that came forth after the disastrous call with Gemma, and decided it would do him no good to go to school. Christie had been furious upon finding out. Fortunately, their father’s stern gaze shut her up quickly.
Just before his father left the room, Elliot saw his mother standing in the doorway, a look of anguish on her face. But there was also confusion. She was upset because he was, but she didn’t know anything other than that. His father had kept his confidence, and had not even spoken to his mother. He was grateful and saddened by that. Grace Wade loved Gemma and would be devastated to hear what happened to her. It was best to leave her in the dark for the time being.
Turning his eyes away from the clock, Elliot closed his eyes, and then immediately wished he hadn’t. A flash of Gemma’s face the moment he saw her in that alley beat behind his eyes. She had been terrified, thinking he was going to hurt her before she realized who he was.
He wanted to throw up, but since he hadn’t eaten anything, there was nothing to expunge. So instead, he just took deep breaths to fight off the nausea and keep the images at bay. It wasn’t long before the calming effect of his deep breaths pulled him under.
His dreams were filled with emptiness. Everywhere he turned, nothing but desolate landscape appeared before him, and the most horrifying feeling of being alone. He tried to cry out for anyone, but it almost seemed like his voice bounced right back on him, not even an echo to offer comfort. Years and years seemed to pass, years and years of nothingness before he finally heard a voice.
Somewhere in Between Page 8