Somewhere in Between

by Lynnette Brisia

  “Wow, Sloane went along with it?” Gemma asked in a low voice. She was also surprised to learn Trisha’s mom worked with a shelter.

  “Absolutely. She said it was a good way to teach them what bullying does and how actions have consequences.” Leigh stopped walking and looked Elliot right in the eye. “Christie was the only one to take her up on the offer. She will help your dad after school, and on weekends, help Trisha’s mom.”

  He was a little shocked by that, but then a small smile tugged at his lips. His sister was still in there. The Terror Twins hadn’t crippled her completely. “That’s good. That’s real good.”

  “Yeah, it is,” Leigh agreed. “I think Trisha thought this up because of Christie. She’s not a bad person. She just gets too caught up in herself and Penny and Cassie latched on to that, made her feel important with their attention, but only because it gets them what they want. This is a good thing for Christie to go through, this shelter work.”

  “Why didn’t the other two take the deal?” Gemma questioned, dumbfounded. From what she’d heard, they were all about making varsity, and being “top dogs” of the school, as small as it was, so she didn’t understand why they wouldn’t accept a way to get back to that.

  “Those bitches think being offensive is their ticket to popularity,” Trent answered with a shake of his head. “Sloane brought them in one at a time to talk to them, and only Christie showed remorse for anything that was done. I mean, they toilet-papered Maggie Blake’s house right after inviting her to the next jock party.” He was shaking his head, a look of disgust on his face. “They think they’re being cute, but all they are is pathetic.”

  They had reached Gemma’s first class of the day, English. She hadn’t been paying attention, but the three of them had walked her to class as a unit. She knew this to be true because Leigh’s first class was Government II and that was in the opposite direction, in a different part of the building. And Elliot, he had Calculus toward the front of the building they were in. She smiled to herself at their thoughtfulness. And decided she’d wait to call them out on it.

  “Okay, Trent is right down the hall in Spanish if you need anything,” Leighanna smiled. “He knows you’ve been feeling not so great so if you need anything, just say the word.”

  Gemma nodded, glad to hear that Trent was close by and that he was oblivious. “Got it. I’ll be okay, I think.”

  “Well, just in case,” Trent grinned. Leigh hugged her sister and then walked off with the giant man.

  Turning to look at Elliot, Gemma felt her cheeks redden. “Thank you for walking me to class.”

  Blush took to Elliot’s cheeks too then. “You’re welcome.” He smiled a smile she had never seen before, one that touched his eyes in a way that made his blue eyes shine clear and brighter. “Just so you know, no matter what had happened, I probably would’ve still wanted to walk you.” With that, he kissed her forehead, lingering for a moment, and turned to walk back toward his class giving her no time to react.

  As Gemma dazedly entered her English class, finding her seat beside Maggie Blake and Becky Court near the window, Elliot hurried toward his Calculus class, a stupid grin on his face. It was just her forehead, and she hadn’t flinched from it like he had expected she would, but the fact that his lips made contact of any kind with Gemma had his stomach doing flips. His lips tingled from the contact, and his heart was pounding as though he’d run a marathon.

  Rushing into his seat just as Ms. Sanders was starting her lesson, Elliot thought back to the moment he’d seen Trisha at the carnival. Standing in line with Gemma, he had just been looking this way and that way, waiting for their turn when Trisha came into view. He was taken with her instantly from her smile, but he tried to remember the feelings he’d had as a result. There was of course the feeling of importance that had come over him at seeing that smile directed his way. She was to be a senior and he was merely to be a sophomore. He felt good about that brief moment of attention that passed his way from someone so popular.

  But as class carried on around him, he couldn’t find a single time in the two plus months he’d infatuated on Trisha that resulted in the same effect the chaste kiss on Gemma’s forehead had. His heart didn’t skip, his breathing didn’t falter, and more than anything, his stomach never once did the extreme gymnastics that it was currently doing now.

  He wondered if this was how Gemma felt about him… if she still felt that way.

  “Elliot?”

  He heard his name being called but he knew it wasn’t the teacher; the voice was too masculine, and too low, as though barely being spoken. Glancing to his left, he noticed Josh hunched over his desk, staring at him with eyes full of intent. “What?” he whispered back.

  Instead of answering, a folded up sheet of paper flew his way. Passing notes in class, what were they, twelve year old girls? With a roll of his eyes, Elliot unfolded the paper and read.

  Are you and Gemma together?

  He wanted to laugh. Looking back at his friend, Elliot shook his head no. It would be a long time before Gemma was ready for anything more than a friendship. And even that was pushing it. Her trust had been broken, torn apart really. He was lucky she allowed him around her at all.

  Another note flew his way.

  Why were you holding hands then? Carmichael said you kissed her.

  He turned to glare at Josh since Ricky Carmichael was nowhere close. What was it Ricky’s business if Elliot held his best friend’s hand? What was it anyone’s business if Elliot gave an innocent kiss to said best friend?

  Since when do you gossip? he wrote back, frustrated with his friend for falling prey to such stupidity. If he had been a fool for believing he had a shot with Trisha Scott when he really didn’t know or feel anything of substance for her, than his blond-haired friend was a fool for playing this petty game.

  Defensive much? Josh’s next note read, and the smirk that accompanied it was enough to ruin the pleasant mood that was floating in the air around him, but only if he let it. And he refused to do that. No, the way he’d felt as a result of his morning with Gemma would not be tainted.

  Elliot ignored his friend for the rest of the class, including the two notes that passed after he stopped paying attention to Josh. Instead he allowed his mind to replay the feel of his lips on Gemma’s skin, the way her breath hitched ever so slightly, but not out of fear. The way her eyes had shone bright and a little glazed by his action, which made him want to puff out his chest like a loon. He allowed the butterflies in his belly to dance to their heart’s content, savoring the way his heart beat stronger because his mind was on Gemma.

  LtB

  Her first day back passed uneventfully-for the most part. Maggie Blake welcomed her back with a warm smile and a folder full of notes, saying she’d heard there was a really bad flu bug going around. And Becky Court asked her to please stay away for at least another week or two. Apparently, Becky could not catch whatever it was Gemma had because she had tickets to the Taylor Swift concert at the Pepsi Center that was happening that weekend.

  She didn’t have the strength to tell Becky she also hoped she never “caught” what she had either.

  The lie of her supposed illness spread quickly, and for that Gemma was thankful. Everyone left her alone, no one looked at her differently, and she hadn’t needed to call upon Trent’s large frame to keep anyone from bothering her. Not even Ricky Carmichael, who she had figured would be one of the first to bug her. But with him she just figured Trent was probably enough to scare the pest away. Even still, he was really the furthest thing from her mind.

  By the time fourth period rolled around, she still didn’t know what to make of Elliot’s display as he left her at her first class. He had arrived to greet her as first period ended, walking her to her history class. In fact, he was waiting for her after every class she had. And again, they walked hand in hand to their art class.

  She could see people were staring, talking about it. She wanted to hide the moment she saw
eyes scrutinizing her, no doubt judging what she was doing with Elliot Wade of all people, since he was perfect and she was now tainted. But she couldn’t hide. Elliot wouldn’t let her. She knew from the recounts of her sister and of Elliot that Trisha Scott had all but outted them as a couple, so the way Elliot was acting gave credence to that speech. It made it seem like it was all true, that Trisha was right, when it was the opposite.

  She hated this lie. Months she spent wanting him, hoping he would see her the way she saw him, if only for a moment, but he never did. And now that she couldn’t even fathom the idea, her mind too chaotic and her body now broken, it felt like a stab in the heart for him to be so close. But maybe that was why. Now that she wasn’t able to comprehend it, he could be free to be near her because he now knew she would really keep her feelings for him silent. Elliot, knowing how she felt before, and knowing how she felt now, he wouldn’t feel hesitant to be around her because there was no way for her to even imagine him liking her after everything had happened.

  As they sat in their seats in the back of the room, Gemma had to fight to contain the tears that had sprung up. What had, in the beginning, felt nice and safe, now felt wrong and dirty, like the show was the only reason he’d be close to her. She no longer felt as though he were helping her, rather she felt he was helping himself now that Trisha had said his name. How do you get over someone so fast? How do you just let go of months of pining? She didn’t believe it, couldn’t really. Willing her mind to close off, Gemma removed her hand from his, and hugged her torso tightly.

  Elliot, relishing in the closeness he was getting with Gemma, of course noticed her change in demeanor. Where she had a slight blush, and was receptive to his touch, he now felt her pulling away from him. “Are you okay?” he asked just above a whisper. She just nodded her head, keeping her eyes averted away. He knew he wouldn’t have time to dissect what had happened before their teacher began the lesson, so he resolved to wait until lunch to get to the bottom of it.

  The hour passed slowly. Gemma just wanted to run and hide, find Leigh and tell her she couldn’t do it, wasn’t ready to come back. She knew her sister would believe her. Elliot, on the other hand just wanted to know what he’d done wrong. He’d had a smile on his face all morning, even in spite of the stupidity that had come from Josh, and suddenly it seemed to be imagined.

  By the time the bell rang, Gemma was scrambling out of her seat with Elliot right behind her. He gently took her elbow, careful not to startle her. The last think he wanted to do was hurt her by frightening her.

  “Gemma, can I talk to you for a second,” he asked quietly, not wanting to draw attention. Her eyes when they finally landed on him took his breath away. The level of pain she was radiating was astonishing, especially given everything that had happened to her. “Please.”

  She nodded her head, her bottom lip caught between her teeth to keep it from trembling. Elliot led her into the cafeteria, bypassing the lunch line since they had both brought lunch that Caroline had made for them, and passed the table Leighanna and Trent were sitting at. She was curious to see if Josh still sat in the same place, and where Christie, who she had yet to see, would sit. But she wouldn’t get to know because Elliot walked them to a table near the back, away from prying eyes.

  She sat down heavily, still not looking at him. “You wanted to talk about something?” Her voice was low, barely a whisper. What had started out as not such a bad day had spiraled downward inside her head as quickly as though it had all been a figment of her imagination.

  “What happened?” Elliot delicately asked. When Gemma just shrugged her shoulders, he shook his head. “What did I do wrong? Everything was fine through the whole morning, and then we get to Art and you just… you just shutdown. What did I do? Was it touching you or did I scare you somehow?”

  It was the tone of his voice and the words that accompanied it that broke her down. Even at her angriest with him over his Trisha devotion, she could never be hurtful to him. And right now, keeping quiet, letting him believe he’d physically harmed her or scared her somehow, was hurting him. “Why are you being so nice to me? Why are you taking care of me like you are? I mean is it because Trisha knows who you are now and you’re taking advantage of that?”

  “What? No, why would you think that?” he asked completely dumbfounded. That was nowhere near what he expected her to say. And it hurt that she even thought it.

  “I see everyone looking at us. You said she “outted” us last week as being in a relationship. She knows who you are now, Elliot. Doesn’t that spell good news for you?” Her words were harsh, and tears were ready to fall.

  He ran his fingers through his hair, trying to calmly tell Gemma she was insane. “It doesn’t spell anything for me. Yes, she thinks we are together, but it doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t mean that I think I have a shot with her now. I mean that logic makes no sense to begin with especially after her speech about not hurting those we care about, because that would imply I’m using you to get to her, or have no qualms about cheating, which I do very much so,” he muttered with a frown. “I’m sorry that everyone is looking at you. They don’t know what happened, so it’s not because of that. You’ve been off for a week, and there was a pretty big mash up last week with the terror twins and my sister. I know people are probably wondering what you think of that since Christie is supposed to be a friend of yours and again, she is my sister.”

  “No one stares at me when I’m alone, Elliot.” She was ignoring what he was saying on purpose. He couldn’t be telling the truth. He couldn’t really not care about Trisha anymore.

  His face fell, because a thought popped into his head that made the morning butterflies cower in dread. “Do you not want to be seen with me? Is that what’s wrong? Are you ashamed or embarrassed by me because of everything with Trisha? I mean I would understand that. I’ve had plenty of people tell me the last week how foolish I made myself look so it would be understandable if you didn’t want to be seen with me because of it.”

  She saw his eyes become impossibly sad. And the words he spoke about being embarrassed to be seen, it was what she felt so she knew he shouldn’t feel that way. “I always thought you’d be ashamed of me.”

  He didn’t care how it looked; he pulled her into his arms and held on tight. He heard her sniffle a few times and had to clear a lump in his throat. What a pair they made, he thought miserably. “I could never be ashamed of you. No matter what happens. You are my best friend. I care about you so much,” he declared, pulling back to look into her eyes. “I am not holding your hand to get attention. I’m holding your hand because I care about you, because I want to protect you, and because when I touch you, I have tangible proof that you’re next to me, okay? When I hold your hand, I know that I haven’t lost you.”

  His words, and the way his eyes glistened with unshed tears told Gemma she had been foolish. And the rational part of her brain knew that, but her insecurities, something she never would have had to fight against before, wouldn’t let that part control her emotions. Elliot had spent every moment he could with her without an audience, meaning he had nothing to gain.

  “I’m so sorry for hurting you,” she cried against his shoulder. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t know why I’m thinking and feeling this way.”

  He held her tight, rocking slightly to calm her. He knew what was wrong, and it wasn’t her fault. “Shh, shh, shh, it’s okay. I’m okay.” He wiped away the tears that had started to fall and smiled softly at her. “I know you’re scared. So much is happening and it’s a lot to take in. But believe me when I tell you, Trisha means nothing to me. I was a fool for ever thinking that way before. I would never use you. You are the most important thing in my life.” It was a heavy confession, but one he couldn’t stop. She needed to know. He needed her to know because he couldn’t handle her doubting him.

  As he sat back in his chair, he could see some people watching the two of them. He wouldn’t draw Gemma’s attention to
them though. The people of Skyview could talk and gossip all they wanted. The only thing that mattered to him was Gemma.

  “For what it’s worth, I like you holding my hand,” she murmured with a blush.

  “For what it’s worth, so do I.” Her smile was blinding then, and genuine, and it made him feel like he was on top of – no, the king of - the world. Take that, Leo! He thought with his heart beating faster than the wings of a hummingbird. He let his hand take hers, holding it loosely as they ate the sandwiches Caroline had crafted for them, pointedly ignoring everything around them.

  The day passed much smoother after that, and by the time their last class ended, Gemma felt like she’d accomplished something. She only flinched twice throughout the day, once during third period when someone dropped their textbook pulling it out of their bag, and the last time during her last class, when Lisa Adams tapped her on the shoulder asking for a pen. No one had a problem believing Gemma was simply jumpy from being so sick, and so after receiving the pen, Lisa apologized profusely until Gemma was finally able to convince her she was fine.

  By the time the day was over, Elliot was again waiting for her, and again, he took her bag, leading her to his car. Gemma kept her head down to avoid the looks, but made sure to give Elliot her attention if he spoke to her so he didn’t think anything was wrong. She was just so overwhelmed and was ready to go home.

  “How’d it go?” Caroline asked the moment they walked into the house.