by C. J. Lau
Chapter 24
State Hockey Centre, Sydney, October 2002.
Three matches into the State Finals, and the technical area still seems surreal. Everything about this venue intimidates me. Sitting where some of the World’s best hockey coaches have sat, mist from the on-field sprinklers brushing my face.
Beside me Cat fidgets, waiting impatiently. “You feel like you belong here yet?”
I shake my head. “Nope. Without you I’d feel totally unworthy.”
“Knock it off, Maggie. You deserve to be here.”
Her confidence brings a smile. Cat’s been like that all week. Direct, authoritative, not even slightly overawed by the stadium. Of course she wouldn’t be.
“They’re taking the sprinklers off now.” Cat stands up, pulls me until I move with her. “Let’s meet them on the field.”
My girls are getting changed inside. We’re early because I wanted to beat Wollongong here, just so we could be first.
“Come on, Maggie.” Cat’s crisp voice again. “A little water won’t hurt you.”
And when I don’t move fast enough she walks on without me. Clears a path through the mist. Copping a final spray from the sprinkler for good measure.
My eyes roam around. A smile forming at the sight of Francis, Carol and a large supporter group already in the grandstand. The haphazard nature of the schedule meant aside from Carol and Francis, most of them weren’t here to see our opening loss to Canberra, or our rebound trashing of Armidale. But travel plans were made as soon as news broke of today’s opponents. Everyone promising to come once they knew what was at stake.
Familiar figures draw my focus back to today’s battle once I make it out to the centre of the field. Sarah first out, her ever present smile and old wooden stick the only two things that haven’t changed since we first met; stronger and quicker with each passing day. The two sets of muscly shoulders that stride behind Sarah belong to Nancy and Sam, leading the rest of the team. Sam’s jet black hair, dyed especially for this tournament, gives a dominatrix feel. Amplifies the confidence this venue brings to everything she does.
I wave them into a huddle. “I notice there wasn’t the usual chatter at breakfast. The silent reflection needs to stop now.” I scan around, eyeballing them, make sure they understand what’s at stake here. “You know who we’re playing. Start calling to each other because you’ll need it when the match starts. Let’s go.”
A short jog later the girls are ready to begin the passing and dribbling exercises. A routine so well set I don’t prompt them anymore.
Cat pulls in beside me, pointing in one fluid motion. “Here come Wollongong.”
Hearing Cat is a reminder she still hasn’t told me how her trip went. Only “everything’s still up in the air” about Professor Addison, and “Emma owes you an apology.”
I push it all aside, like I’ve done for four days since we checked into the hotel down the road.
Something out of the corner of my eye catches my attention. I take a worried look sideways to see Danielle’s not moving. But staring across the field. My eyes follow Danielle’s gaze and I see Zara Xerxes looking back. Ms X, mastermind of the fanatical defensive style Wollongong’s taken into this tournament. Every part of her imposing, even at her height.
“Danielle!” I call, two fingers at my eyes. “Focus.”
She nods, collects the pass bounding her way.
Sam walks up. “Mind games already from big blue?” Uses our code for Wollongong, referencing their uniforms and size of their players. “It’s on if they try anything.”
“No. I don’t want to see any dirty play.” I’m firm. “I know you and Anna could win any fight, but—”
Sam’s bravado cuts in. “You bet we could. Got second Dan last month, Anna’s on third.”
I talk over her. “Discipline, Sam.” And I know she has plenty. “Stick to our game plan and let the umpires handle it.”
Her sigh is barely audible but at least it’s there. “Okay, Coach,” she nods. “But if they swing first. It’s on.”
“Totally,” I say with a smile. “But win the match first, I can’t have you sitting out this one.”
Sam gives me a playful yes sir, running backward to Danielle. A tap on the defender’s shoulder and some encouragement has Danielle nodding before they both continue to warm up. Nancy also runs over to have words with Danielle before I turn away.
My next smile goes to Brooke. Watch her complete a dribble down the field, moving from foot to foot at speed, seemingly unimpeded by the guard around her knee.
Would this be the day she tells me she is ready?
Brooke swivels on her right knee, firing the ball to vacant space.
What’s she doing? I wonder, until the ball’s path hit a small orange cone 20 metres away.
“I’m ready, Coach,” she calls out.
No arguments based on what I’ve just seen. It’s great to have my full team back.
My wave brings her over. “Welcome back, Brooke. You’ll be starting on the bench today. Let’s wait for the game to settle down before sending you on.”
“What if it doesn’t settle down?” Brooke asks.
Her question turns me grim. It’s valid. “Then it is going to be a long afternoon.”
A few minutes later the warm up is over and I have the huddle.
“Alright, girls, we know Ms X has worked the system to make sure this day came. Let’s make her regret her foxing.”
I bring up the haphazard and deeply unpopular variable game system. Wollongong’s settling for a last round draw, engineering the system to play us today. “I really need you to focus on hockey. Any violence out there will just be a ploy to get your off your game.” I stop, unable to forget our first two matches, even if I tell the girls to. “We know they have a great defence, only Murwillumbah has really been able to break them down. A win here puts us into the semis. So forget the matches so far; they mean nothing now. Any last words, Nancy?”
I hand over to the Captain.
“I didn’t come here to start a fight, but I didn’t come to lose one either!” Nancy’s urgings, both fists balled, has me nodding along with the girls. “I expect the seniors to step up and look after the younger. No retreating today!” Determination on her face and in her voice, she growls, “Stand your ground, I promise I’ll be right behind you.”
It’s that determination I called for in our second match, after our opening 3-2 loss. The girls delivering, destroying Armidale 8-0 to leave us here; fifth on the ladder. Needing to win the grudge match of the century to make the semis.
Sarah speaks now. Her words bringing a roar of agreement, “We can do this! Promise yourselves and each other, you will not let Ms X bring you down to her level.”
Wollongong sit third, meaning a draw is enough to see them through. They just need to defend, something I know Zara’s drilled them at well.
“Okay, to the sideline for final checks and then show time,” Cat calls, takes the girls off the field.
I go with Nancy to the toss. Notice Darrell’s chosen two of the most senior umpires to control this match. The three of them stand, waiting for us. Ms X taking my lead, walking with her Captain. And even though the girl in blue is taller, looks strong and confident, it’s clear Ms X is in charge.
Introductions and small talk before Nancy wins the toss. Ms X waiting to the last moment to shake my hand. Her voice like granite. “Solo says hello”
Her words bounce off me. I don’t even bother with a “Nice try.”
And then Nancy and I make our way back to the sideline.
My strongest, most experienced eleven run out moments later, take up positions with protective gear firmly fitted. And I’m less nervous than curious to see if our predictions are right. Shouts of encouragement bursting from our supporter group as play starts.
“She’s all yours, Candace!” More shouting turns my attention to a tall, fit girl, doing her best to intimidate Anna. The central defender, wrist in a black b
race resembling a kickboxing glove, stares back.
“Ready to go to hospital, bitch?” Candace challenges.
“Bring it,” Anna’s instant reply makes me wonder if I should’ve had the self-control talk with her as well.
So that’s Candace. It takes everything I have to resist screaming a torrent of abuse at Solo’s go much further girl.
I turn my attention to the ball. Cat down beside me, though I know she won’t stay still for long. “I wish Anna could break that bitch in half.”
Under the impact of a vicious tackle Nancy’s sent crashing, and stays down. First foul to Goulburn.
“Hey!” Cat on her feet in the first minute. “Umpire, is that the kind of match you want?”
She’s sent back to the sideline. Under her breath I hear, “It’s on then.”
Ten minutes pass without a break in the aggression. Tempers threatening to boil over when Martina is tripped, falling heavily onto the turf. Anna running up from defence to stand protectively over our striker, and exchange a few sharp words with the girl committing the foul.
Martina needs to come off.
“Now do you think violence is a good idea?” I turn to Cat before realising she’s over on the sideline speaking to Sam and Nancy, punching her hand for emphasis.
“Angela,” I call the young striker over. “It’s earlier than planned, but you’re on.” Martina moving groggily towards the sideline.
The young striker runs fearlessly into battle. Anna preparing to take the free hit. My eyes glued to the field. Know we’re in range to launch a set play.
Six clinical passes later; Anna has the first goal.
“Wow! Where did you get that play from?” Cat asks, still applauding in amazement.
“They’re an easy group of girls to coach.”
But Wollongong launch a swift attack from the restart. Candace bumps Danielle over, leaves her sprawled on the ground before receiving an excellent long pass. Free of defenders, Candace fires. The ball striking Christina, deflecting into the goal.
The umpires miss the push. One all.
“I swear Candace wasn’t aiming at the goals just then,” Cat says, Danielle protesting in vain that she was pushed.
“That’s the kind of game we’re in,” I deadpan back. “She was aiming at Christina, found her mark too. The goal is a fluke from her trying to kill our keeper.”
“She is a very powerful player.” Cat’s eyes follow Candace back into position. “Probably the strongest on the field. Hey, that’s strange, Solo’s waving.”
“Cat,” I warn.
“No, look. He’s sitting all by himself. Over there.”
I follow where Cat’s pointing. He is. Alone and still waving.
I ignore him and turn to my reserves. Kim and Sarah on to replace Sam and Janet.
“It’s a real fight out there,” Sam puffs, passing us. “At least the umpires are keeping things fair, except where Danielle was pushed over.”
“Don’t worry about that. We’ll get it back—” I start, before something on field makes me stand and yell. “Hey! What the hell!”
Candace has stick-checked Anna. Left her doubled over, holding her previously fractured wrist. Sarah and Nancy both running in as the Umpire’s whistle stops play. Nancy pushes Candace away. Neither girl takes a backward step.
The whistle again in the ruckus. Sarah’s arm around Nancy. The smaller girl in my Captain’s ear, coaxing her away.
A foul to Goulburn, the Umpire calling both Candace and the Wollongong Captain over.
I’m rooted still, unsure where to look. Cat’s up on her feet, calling Nancy over to the sideline. I take in the scene as the Umpire reprimands the two opponents, gestures repeatedly with her hands. Using a symbol I’ve seen enough times to recognise. Final warnings; penalties and send offs next.
On the sideline, I’ve never seen Nancy so agitated. Cat repeatedly telling her to settle down. The Captain arguing until Cat places two firm hands on her shoulders, looks straight at her. Same message as on field, “Settle down and play your game!”
Released, Nancy runs back onto the field, giving Anna a pat on the back. Sam’s up from the bench too. Shouting something at Anna I can’t understand, before they both stare at Candace.
“Touch her again, Candace,” Sam’s shout is loaded with menace. “And I’ll rip your throat out.”
“Sam!” I half shout, half plead. Make her take her seat.
“This could get ugly.” Cat’s sneaks beside me while I try to prevent Candace’s murder. “Nancy’s about to snap too.”
“The Umpire has it under control,” I answer, with more hope than evidence. “We might get a stroke soon if they keep this up.”
My prophecy comes true in the shadows of half-time. Angela sent crashing into the ground, immediately clutching at her neck. The umpire awarding a Penalty stroke, and threatens to send off the offender. Going straight for the stroke – a free shot from about six metres – rather than a Penalty corner. The decision probably saving the offender from a yellow card and five minutes on the sideline.
“Spooky,” Cat remarks. “You got tomorrow’s lotto numbers too?”
Now we’re both grim if giggly. Watching Nancy walk forward to the penalty spot. Restoring our lead.
2-1 at half-time.
I get the first word in. “Half-way there, girls! We’re dominating possession, and winning where it matters most.” My eyes bore into Sam for the next bit. “Keep focused on playing hockey out there, and not the physical stuff.”
Cat cuts in to back me up. “Correct. You’re going great, so don’t buy into their rubbish.”
“Martina and Angela are both injured and so, Debbie and Andrea, you’ll have a lot more work to do.” I swing into match mode, confident that retaliation was off the cards. “Sam and Sarah, you need to be pushing further forward as needed. We will also have Brooke back this half when I think the time is right. Anything to add anyone?”
“Stick to the plan, girls! Control possession as much as you can and if they want to foul us, then let them,” Nancy jumps in. “It is only going to present us with set play and attacking opportunities.”
A chorus of agreement lifts my confidence further. This battle is won.
It only takes five minutes for Goulburn to be awarded another stroke. Sam threading a perfect pass for Andrea, who would have been clear, but for the intervention of the last defender.
“Yellow card, umpire!” Cat shouts. “What match you watching out there?” Causing the umpire to reprimand Cat and send her back to the bench.
“Make it count, Sam!” Cat continues shouting from beside me. Sam striding up to the penalty spot. No mistake. Goulburn 3 – Wollongong 1.
I move to Brooke, take her by the shoulders. “Ready?”
Brooke nods, breathing through her nose and adjusting her knee guard. I give her instructions on the tactical change; send her on for Debbie. A small shift towards defence, but a moment I’ve waited for.
“Go after the leg!” Ms X’s shouts from the sideline spike my rage.
“Try it, I dare you!” Nancy shoots back, and there’s no way I’m calling her off.
“Good call.” Cat’s eyes follow Brooke on, and then the striker off. “Are you going to leave her on for the rest of the match?”
Brooke takes a fall. Another foul to Goulburn.
“Depends how the game is going,” I say, up on my feet again. “I’m not sure what Nancy ate for breakfast? But she really has her angry out.”
“The team made her Captain.” Cat stands as well. “That is exactly what I would have done if I was out there, even if it was just for Brooke’s benefit.”
Someone fires the ball at Brooke’s leg. And she skilfully traps it down, passing across to Nancy, who goes back to Anna.
“I told Brooke to shut things down,” I fill Cat in, watch the girls execute my plan perfectly.
The match goes nowhere. My girls keeping possession and winding down the clock in the process. Wollongong ru
nning attacks at Brooke until it’s predictable. Nancy always on hand, picking her up if she falls, or answering back any verbal barbs.
Candace comes off the field, making a rude gesture at Solo before sitting down. I watch him flinch and then go down to meet her. My eyes glued to their ensuing argument with such interest I miss Goulburn’s fourth goal.
The umpire’s whistle ends hostilities. Goulburn 4 – Wollongong 1.
Grudge match won.
Candace jogs to the field to shake hands. And despite my best attempt not to care, I feel a twinge when Solo leaves the stadium.
“You missed an excellent goal while you were staring at your ex,” Cat says over the cheering of our supporters.
Eventually I remember my manners and walk onto the field with Cat. Go straight to Zara.
“Good game,” I say with sincerity I don’t feel. Distracted by Solo’s sudden departure.
“You too,” Zara nods.
Then I pull my girls together on the sideline. “Congratulations, girls. Good win. We’re guaranteed a semi-final.” I congratulate my brave warriors. “We also have the weekend off.”
The happy thought finally evicts Solo from my mind. Not even the prospect of playing defending champions Murwillumbah or fierce rivals Newcastle able to dampen the feeling.
“Can we go home for the weekend and come back on Monday?” Sarah asks, many heads nodding at the request.
“Yes, I’ve arranged the bus to be here this evening.” My answer brings excitement from the homesick team. “Okay, let’s go get changed and head back to the hotel.”
I cast a look back across the stadium. The Wollongong team still on the field completing their cool down. We’ve leapfrogged with our win, pushing them into fourth. Left them a nervous wait on other results.
“I’m not leaving you here alone, Maggie.” Cat’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “Not with Solo, Candace, and Zara around.”
I stare at the empty seat where Solo watched the match. “I’ll be fine.”
Why had he been neutral? I ask myself. What did the fight with Candace mean?
Cat’s voice stops the questions. “You’re not hearing me, Maggie. Francis can take the team home on his own.”
“Fine, you really are stubborn.”
“Oh no, not this again!”
We both start laughing, leading the girls to the dressing room. Soon everyone’s giddy so I just add, “Okay, everyone. Get changed quickly and meet me outside.” I pat Danielle’s shoulder. Tears of relief on her face. “I’ll come around and check any injuries once we’re back at the hotel.” I finish, leave them to it and step outside.
A familiar face waits for me in the neutral zone at the end of the tunnel. “I thought I’d find you here.”
My body tenses up at the sight of him. This time I’m ready to attack. “Get lost, Solo.”
On the alert, I move closer. Then realise he’s not here to fight; shoulders low, no anger on his face.
“I just came back to—” His voice isn’t the smooth stream of insults I expect. Struggling, he says, “I know you don’t want to see me. But I just wanted to—”
“—get away from her!” Cat’s scream stops Solo short. I hear her running from behind me. Know I need to stop her. “You lost, Solo. Want a beating with that?”
Blocking Cat’s rush, I grab hold and keep her close. She’s still screaming. “You want round two, coward?” Fighting my bear hug. “Then come through me first!”
“Cat, don’t,” I’m in her ear, trying anything to calm her down. “The girls, Cat. They might hear.” Some more insults come hissing and spitting at Solo. “Cat, please.”
She finally calms down enough to hear and I let her go.
I turn back to Solo. “You need to go.”
For a moment he doesn’t move.
“She said go!” Cat’s on my shoulder again.
Looking defeated, he takes the hint, walks away.
“Bloody Zara and her mind games,” Cat rages on, quieter this time. “Lost the match, but still wants to hurt you.”
I try to process what just happened, stare at the vacant field. “I don’t think Zara sent him.”
“Then, what was that?”
“I…” No answers.
Cat sighs. “Oh well, here’s the girls.”
Francis hands me a sheet of paper on the short walk back to the hotel. “Here’s the remaining permutations for game results and their effect on the semis. With today’s win you’re in second, but with all the teams still to play I expect you to finish third or fourth.”
Right now his statistics are the perfect distraction. He adds, “Not accounting for some minor miracle, the game you should be interested in is Sutherland versus Hornsby tomorrow. Be careful if you go. That result determines whether Wollongong make the semis.”
Meaning Zara will be there too.
Zara. What role did Zara play in Solo suddenly appearing? I’m not ready to accept Solo’s appearance on face value. Not with what he’s capable of.
I realise Francis is still talking. “I think if the girls bring their best game they can beat Newcastle. With Murwillumbah I’m not so sure.”
“Amazing. It’s like you’ve played this tournament over in your head,” I answer. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Also, I’m done with umpiring as of this afternoon. So I won’t be here next week.”
Lucky I have Cat. I keep the thought to myself. “No worries.”
Francis says goodbye and leaves for the lifts with the girls. Only then do I see Cat. Looking lost. Rooted to the spot with a worried look on her face.
My own quandary forgotten. “Want to check on the girls with me?” I ask.
“You go on up. I’m going down to see if Carol’s still around. Maybe we can all have dinner tonight.” Her hand’s up to her face, tracing a scar that’s been gone for months.
“Everything alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just need to see Carol,” she answers, staring off into space.
I don’t move. Focus on her eyes, distant and hidden. Do I resent that Carol is Cat’s go-to? Has been since Cat’s surgery.
Cat spots me looking. “Go. I’m fine.”
I head to the lift without another word. Know something’s very wrong for Cat to lie to my face. Also know it’s better not to push.
Nothing makes sense anymore!
Patience, Maggie. She’ll tell you in good time. I push the insecurities aside, hit the button for my floor. Cat walking back out of the hotel as the lift doors close. Figure out Zara’s game. It’s much more dangerous right now.