Rise

by C. J. Lau

  Chapter 35

  My only wish is to see Maggie’s smiling face. My eyes closed, lying there. Wanting to keep them shut forever. The air’s as cold as everything inside me; my every cell shivers.

  Slowly the warmth flows back under the blanket. But my eyes remain closed, wanting this all to be another nightmare.

  Not Maggie lying in a pool of blood as I scream. Her life ebbing in my arms, sending a wave of panic crashing through me.

  “Good, Cat.” A calm voice cuts through. “I need you to keep breathing. Nice and deep into the mask.” A finger on my neck. “Your pulse is settling down.”

  I don’t respond. This can’t be real.

  “I’m here for you, Cat.” A hand on my shoulder springs my eyes open. The look on Carol’s face, even exhausted, confirms everything.

  Candace just stabbed my best friend.

  A sound escapes my throat, a shredded wail, from every muscle of my being. It brings Carol closer. Her arms, warm, doing their best to calm my shivering.

  My eyes close again. You can’t take, Maggie! Take me instead! Minutes pass of silent begging, and Carol holding tight, refusing to let go.

  Heat rushes to my cheeks and arms. My eyes blink open again.

  Nope, still real.

  The paramedic speaks. “Cat? Too hot now?”

  I nod, my neck and face like fire.

  “Okay. Blankets off. Let’s get you to hospital.”

  I shake my head, frantic. Eyes on Carol.

  “She doesn’t like hospitals,” Carol says for me. “Can you check her out here?”

  “I suppose.” His hand on my wrist. “Pulse is good. Let’s sit her up.”

  My legs drop flat again. The layers pulled away, mask taken off before four firm hands move me forward. My breath catching with a wave of dizziness. They sit me up, legs dangling.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Carol asks.

  I nod, head spinning with the scene in front of me. Two police kneel over a pool of blood, more blue uniforms taking statements from stunned onlookers. Solo, Candace, and Zara nowhere to be seen.

  Maggie’s gone too.

  I look down at my chest, vomit rising at the sight, blood covers everything, shirt and hands.

  “Whoa, Cat. Are you sure you’re alright?”

  I count out breaths. Sitting in silence. “I’m okay.”

  “Tough, and stubborn.” That brings the smallest of smiles.

  Trying to draw strength from this venue, and where I sit. A few metres from the field where I recorded my greatest victory.

  Everything happens for a reason. Mum’s words, as we had ridden back from Trisha’s grave, come back to me. That seemed like an eternity ago.

  “Where’s Maggie?” I ask, voice ragged from screaming.

  Carol’s answer is calm. “On her way to hospital. Solo went with her. I’m praying she made it in time.”

  I barely nod. Still trying to suck air in and keep vomit down. “Suppose having faith would help right now,” I get out in one breath.

  Her answer is to squeeze tighter, just like when we were kids. “She’s going to be alright.”

  She’d always been the strong one.

  I rest my head on her shoulder. She’ll need to have enough faith for both of us.

  “Where’s Sam?” I ask after a minute.

  Carol turns away, her sudden evasiveness making no sense.

  “Carol?” I try again. “Where’s Sam? Are the girls okay?”

  I scan the field through her silence. Spotting Darrell walking towards us, shuddering as she retraces the route, sprinted minutes earlier.

  How had we all missed Candace running?

  And then I see Sam, 20 metres away, moving onto the field.

  My confusion clears with each step. Sam and the others, even the opposing team still on their sidelines, waiting. I charge towards Darrell, taking wobbly-legged steps. Finding new strength in my anger.

  Red hot fury in my screams. “You’re making them play!”

  I start swinging before I even get near her, wild, wobbly punches. “Maggie just— why!”

  My knee gives, and Darrell catches me. I throw up, spray Darrell’s thigh with it. And when I cough out my last, I’m back to screaming, “Why are you making them play?”

  Darrell’s voice overrides mine, calm and loud. “I asked them, Cat. Every single one, both Goulburn and Murwillumbah.”

  On my knees, I don’t hear her. Back in a crater. Throat burning, covered in blood. Unable to process any more.

  Carol says something, but I’m not ready, the darkness so close now.

  Call it even, Maggie had said. But I can’t do that yet.

  They’re both talking at me now. But my eyes are on the field, watching the girls warm up, anger spiralling into something else.

  “They all want to play.” Darrell’s voice breaks through. “Maggie’s in safe hands.”

  I search and find Kathy; reading Maggie’s notebook. The voice telling me. You did this. You snuck her in to surprise Maggie, for one last match.

  “You’re right.”

  “You’re in shock, Cat.” Darrell’s voice again. “You should…”

  I tune her out, focusing. They’re your girls, too. If you love Maggie, look after her girls.

  Carol shakes me, her voice frightened. “Cat. Look at us.”

  I’ll do it for you, Maggie. You’ll return home a Champion.

  “Cat!”

  I push it all away to look at Darrell, alive again with one promise. One chance.

  “I’m okay.” A deep breath needed to find a voice without the edge of screaming to it.

  Another breath, a new battle eclipsing everything else. “For Maggie. I want to help the girls.”

  They both study me for a moment. Then Darrell nods, knowing what she sees. Carol sees it too, she must, she’s helping me to my feet.

  Darrell doesn’t argue. “Anything I can do to help?”

  “I need a shower, and get me another shirt.”