Broken (Soldiers of Darkness MC Book 1)

by Michelle Betham

  ‘You know what I really wanna do?’

  I’m stalling. I‘m just trying to put off the inevitable, because this shit-crazy situation we’re in here, it’s changed. She needs to know what’s happening now.

  ‘What do you really want to do?’ She still seems quite happy for my hand to remain firmly on her ass, but I’m wondering if I should move it now. Might be slightly inappropriate to leave it there when I tell her what I need to tell her… Christ! When did I get a freakin’ conscience?

  ‘I want to take you to bed, fuck you nine ways ‘til Sunday, then fuck you some more. I want to take as much of you as I can, Izzi, because tomorrow, you’re going home.’

  She lets go of me like I’m on fire, stepping right away, and I knew that was gonna happen. What else did I think she was gonna do?

  ‘Home?’

  ‘You’re going back to the UK, baby.’

  Her eyes burn into mine and I sense a fight looming. She’s a stubborn bitch, I can tell. But she ain’t gonna win. ‘I’m not going anywhere, not until I’ve finished the job I came here to do.’

  ‘It ain’t happening, Izzi.’

  ‘Are you going back on your promise?’

  ‘I don’t remember promising you anything, darlin’.’

  ‘You promised to help me.’

  ‘I promised to help you find the people who killed your daddy and your fiancé. I did that. But these people, Izzi – you don’t mess with them.’

  ‘I’m not leaving until someone’s paid for what they did, Mack, and there isn’t a thing you can do to stop me.’

  ‘This is my town, darlin’, and you don’t just walk in here and start shit you can’t control. If I do what you want me to do, you have no idea of the repercussions…’

  ‘You know what, Mack? I don’t give a shit about you. And I don’t need your fucking help anymore, OK? I can do this by myself. Just tell me who they are…’

  I laugh, I can’t help it. Is she fucking serious? ‘I ain’t telling you shit, darlin’. For your own safety.’

  ‘Fuck you!’

  She spits the words out, and I sense a real danger here. I ain’t sure she’s gonna do as she’s told, and I can’t afford to take that risk. I shouldn’t even be here. I should be over at the clubhouse, checking up on how last night went. Although, there’ve been no phone calls so I’m sensing we’re OK. Odi might be a complete dick when it comes to women, but when it comes to getting a job done, he’s smart. He knows what he’s doing, which is why I sent him out there, with Viper’s crew. ‘Am I gonna have to baby-sit you, sweetheart?’

  ‘Like I said, Mack, fuck you!’

  I step forward and grab her arm, grasping her wrist tight. I ain’t got time for games. She’s a problem I didn’t ask for, don’t need and don’t want. What I need is to be spending my time keeping Viper and his crew on side, not planning how to gun them down because I let my cock do the thinking. I saw her, I wanted her, I let her talk me into something I had no idea would become this complicated. Yeah, OK, I was weak. I’ll hold my hands up. She got to me. But now I’ve fucked her I can see clearly. It’s out of my system. My head’s back where it needs to be, and this is a lesson I’ve, thankfully, learned before it’s too late – don’t let a woman get to you. Because it could be fucking fatal.

  ‘You’re going home, Izzi, even if I have to put you on that fucking plane myself. You got that?’

  ‘You can’t keep me prisoner.’

  ‘That’s exactly what I’m gonna do. You ain’t going anywhere, I ain’t going anywhere. Not until it’s time to take you to the airport.’

  I let go of her arm, which was a mistake, because the second I do that she slaps me so hard I actually stumble backwards. Jesus! This bitch has got some strength to go with those balls.

  ‘You have no idea what I’ve been through to get here. You have no – fucking – idea.’

  I place a hand against my cheek, and I can feel the skin hot against my palm. She sure hit me with some force there. And the crazy thing is, it’s making my cock hard, it’s a freakin’ turn-on! ‘So tell me.’

  She leans back against the countertop and folds her arms defensively against herself, turning her head to look out of the window. ‘I had to know what I was walking into, Mack.’ She lowers her voice, and the anger seems to be dissipating slightly. ‘I had to become someone I never thought I could be, to do this; to even think about doing this. And I’ve always been tough, always been strong, but this…’ She bows her head, and I feel a wave of something I can’t explain wash over me. ‘Coming back to a strange country, on my own, it was hard. But I kept thinking of that night, what they did to Aiden; my father. The look in their eyes as they mercilessly gunned them down… wondering why they didn’t do the same to me…’ I watch as she throws back her head and lets out a long sigh. It’s almost painful to listen to. ‘I had to come back here, and I had to be ready, and the things I’ve had to do to make sure I’m…’ She stops talking, and I don’t want her to do that, I want her to carry on. I want to know what this beautiful, damaged young woman has had to go through to get her to the point where she’s quite calmly talking about ending someone’s life. I do that shit on a regular basis, but I’m a fucked-up bastard who can handle anything. She isn’t. ‘I found someone on the internet…’ She suddenly lets out an almost manic laugh, as though she can’t comprehend what she’s just said. ‘How fucking naïve does that make me sound? I found someone on the internet… well, we kind of found each other…’

  I move a little closer to her, finally pulling my hand away from my cheek, and our eyes lock. The connection is so real, so powerful, and it scares the shit outta me. I’m in a situation I ain’t ever been in before, and I have no fucking clue how to handle it.

  ‘But that’s exactly what happened. I found somebody on the internet. He lives in a town about forty miles from here, and he… Jesus! My dad would fucking freak if he knew some of the shit I’ve done…’

  ‘What did he do, Izzi? This man. What did you let him do?’

  She’d broken the stare for a second or two but her eyes are back on mine now, and all I can see in them is a determination I ain’t sure I can fight.

  ‘He taught me to shoot; how to handle a gun. He taught me to fight, taught me how to deal with the kind of shit I had every chance of coming across. He taught me how to survive; how to become this person I needed to be in order to do that.’

  ‘Why didn’t you just ask him to help you kill Viper’s crew?’ I could’ve bitten my tongue off the second the words were out of my mouth. I’ve just given her the fucking information she needs to cause a whole heap of trouble, and there’s no way I can take it back now.

  Her eyes narrow, and her face clouds over with a hardness I’m fast becoming familiar with. ‘Viper’s crew…’ She whispers the words, and that sends a wave of dread shooting through me.

  ‘This man you went to, Izzi… who was he?’

  Her eyes are darting this way and that now, like she’s on edge, anxious; like she’s just snorted something up that pretty nose of hers and now it’s taking effect. ‘I can’t…’ All of a sudden she snaps out of the trance she appeared to have drifted into. ‘He… he’s no one.’

  Her voice has suddenly gone all weird, and I’m fucking worried now. ‘Why didn’t you just get him to help you, Izzi?’

  ‘It wasn’t an option.’

  ‘So you came to me.’

  She stares at me, and she doesn’t say anything for a few, long beats and I have no idea why she’s making me feel this way, but she’s scaring the living crap outta me. And giving me a hard-on I’m trying like hell to ignore.

  ‘I came to you.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I’ve already told you why. Your MC is close to where it all happened…’

  ‘But it didn’t happen in my town.’

  ‘I came to you, Mack.’

  It’s like I’m talking to a freakin’ robot. She’s just closed down, shut off, and I don’t understand any of t
his. I don’t know how big a problem she’s really gonna be, and I don’t even know if sending her home is the answer now.

  ‘I send you home… even if I put you on that plane myself you’re just gonna keep coming back, aren’t you?’

  ‘Like a fucking boomerang.’

  I’m on her in a flash, so quickly she couldn’t have seen it coming, but I’ve got her pinned against the wall now and she is gonna listen to me, even if it’s the last thing she fucking does. ‘No more games, Izzi. I’m done with the fucking games…’

  The kick she gives to my stomach sends me reeling. The bitch has knocked every last fucking breath out of me.

  ‘You think this is a game? Huh?’

  I manage to stand upright, clutching my stomach as I try to get my breath back, but I’m struggling. ‘Looks like your mystery man taught you well, baby girl.’

  ‘You don’t know the fucking half of it.’

  I can’t stop the smirk playing at the corner of my mouth. I have never, in my entire life, come across a chick like this one. She is something else – hot, horny, tough. But she’s also unpredictable, and that worries me. ‘You’re ain’t gonna let this go, are you?’

  She shakes her head, and I’m almost resigned to the fact that she’s a problem I might not want or need, but I’m gonna have to deal with it. I’ve got no choice.

  ‘I’ll track them down, no matter what. You’ve already given me a name, so, I’ll find them, and I’ll kill them myself. There’ll be no blood on your hands, I promise you. Nobody need know you gave me the information…’

  ‘You really think they won’t find out it was me? I’ve told you, Izzi, these men are dangerous. And I should know… Listen, sweetheart, you need to leave this alone. Seriously. You need to take a step back and think about this…’

  ‘You’re working with them, aren’t you?’

  ‘Jesus! Yeah, I’m working with them. And I’d rather have them on side, I don’t need the crazy fuckers as enemies. I’ve got enough of those as it is.’

  ‘Then it’s you I need to take a step back from. To protect you.’

  I laugh, I can’t help it. ‘You want to protect me? Shit, Izzi, come on, darlin’… You make one move on them and they’ll trace everything back to me…’

  ‘Get out.’

  Is she fucking kidding me?

  ‘Get out, Mack. You’re done here.’

  Like hell I am. ‘You got some kinda death wish? ‘Cause I think you’re way too pretty to die.’

  She fixes me with a look that makes my blood run cold.

  I have no idea who this woman is.

  I have no idea what she’s capable of.

  But I ain’t done here. I can’t leave her to do this alone.

  I can’t leave her. Period.

  Chapter Nine

  Izzi

  ‘I might have messed things up, Sam.’ I lean back against the wall and stare up at the dark night sky. Even though it’s been days since Mack Slayer fucked me, my thighs still ache, and my skin is bruised and cut from the rough sex. I’ve played that morning out in my mind over and over again, each time allowing it to turn me on to the point where I’ve had to finger-fuck myself to a satisfactory endgame while I cry out his name and wish it was his cock inside me instead of my own fingers. But we haven’t gone there again. We’re still circling each other like wary wild animals, both of us waiting for the other to do something we’re not happy about. I told him to stay away, but he’s ignoring my wishes. And there’s a part of me that’s glad he’s defying me. But everything’s so fucked-up right now, I’m feeling a little bit lost. And I can’t have that. I need to sort my head out and get back in the game.

  ‘Then put it right.’

  ‘How?’

  ‘Listen, Izzi, did I not teach you how to handle yourself?’

  I close my eyes and breathe in deep. Sam taught me so much, but I might have gone a little off-plan now, and getting back on track might be tougher than I think.

  ‘He wants me to back off. For his safety as well as mine, and I can’t…’

  ‘And maybe he’s right.’

  I pause for a second, because I can’t believe he just said that. ‘Are you fucking serious?’

  ‘You may be getting out of your depth here, Izzi. Do you want me to send…?’

  ‘No! Jesus, no. No, Sam. I can do this, OK?’

  I hear him sigh down the line and I close my eyes again. ‘Get him back on side, Izzi. You need him, whether you like it or not. You need him. Remember what we taught you. You had him, OK? You had him. You can get him again.’

  ‘You really do want me to stay close to Mack Slayer, huh?’

  ‘It’s what we talked about. You knew what was needed.’

  ‘And you still expect me to…?’

  ‘Just do what you have to do, Izzi. Stick to the plan. Everything else, that’s up to me.’

  ‘And that’s all I get, is it?’

  His silence answers that question.

  I sigh and look back up at the sky, focusing on a cluster of tiny, twinkling stars.

  ‘Don’t take your eye off the ball, Izzi. Remember what I told you. You can do this, but you need to focus. I can only help you from a distance, for now. But you finding me, that was fate.’

  ‘You believe in fate?’

  The voice on the other end of the line chuckles quietly, and I can’t help but smile.

  ‘I believe in a lot of things, sweetheart.’

  I drop my gaze and stare down at the pavement, scuffing the heel of my boot against the wall behind me. ‘I’m so angry, Sam. The pain, it’s still so raw, and I can’t let go of the hate…’

  ‘And you shouldn’t. Once you let go of the hate you lose the strength. You lose everything.’

  ‘What if this really isn’t worth what the consequences could be?’

  There’s another silence down the line that makes my stomach turn.

  ‘You know what you need to do, Izzi. But emotions, they cloud everything. So you need to focus, OK? Every second thought you’re experiencing, every tiny shred of doubt that creeps into your mind is to do with the way you’re feeling. So you need to focus on what happened to Aiden and your father. Remember that night, what you need to do in order for you to be able to move on. Do that, and everything will work out just the way you need it to.’

  I pull out a packet of cigarettes from my pocket and light up. I never used to smoke. Aiden hated it, and once my dad managed to stop he became one of those people who thought of it as a nasty, dirty habit. But after their deaths I turned to everything I could to help me blot out the pain – alcohol, cigarettes, even drugs. Oh, nothing major – some cannabis, the odd snort of coke, anything that could help numb the pain, or take it away completely. Even if it was just for a few hours, I’d take it. They’re addictions I need. And now I’m worried I might have found another one.

  ‘I’m going to ask you a question, Izzi, and I want you to answer it honestly. No bullshit, no telling me what you think I want to hear because this isn’t about me. I don’t care whether you go through with this or not, it was my duty to train you, not force you to do anything you don’t want to do. So, just tell me, honestly – do you really want to see these people dead?’

  I sink to the floor and throw my head back as I take a long, deep drag on my cigarette, blowing smoke up into the air. I picture Aiden’s smile, my dad’s beaming face as we told him we were engaged. I remember how happy I’d been; how ridiculously, unbelievably happy I’d been as I’d lain in bed the night before their senseless, timeless deaths, planning out our life. Kids’ names, garden designs, what color I wanted to paint the bedroom in our brand new house, I’d had it all planned. Until someone blew all that right of the water.

  ‘I want to see them dead. And I want to be the one who ends their pathetic, shit-filled lives.’

  ‘Then you know what you need to do.’

  He ends the call and I sigh quietly, slipping my phone into the pocket of my short denim skirt.

/>   ‘You planning on staying out here all night?’

  I look up, and he’s standing there, all tall and arrogant and sexy-as-hell. I hate him. I hate how he makes me feel; how he distracts me and frustrates me. I hate him.

  ‘You inviting me in?’

  He shrugs, and all I can think of is his cock ramming its way into me from behind, and I want to feel that again, so bad I’m wet just thinking about it. And again, I hate him. He’s doing this to me and I can’t stop it. ‘It’s a free country, darlin’. I ain’t stopping you from coming inside.’

  ‘How’d you know I was out here?’ I pull myself to my feet, while he makes no attempt to do the gentlemanly thing and offer me any help.

  ‘I didn’t. I just came out here to get my cigarettes. Left ‘em on the bike.’

  He jerks his head over to a line of Harley Davidsons all parked out front of the bar. ‘You telling me nobody in there had a cigarette they could offer you?’

  He smiles, and again all I can think about is how he felt inside me. I want him there again, but I need to focus first. I need to get my head straight. ‘What can I say? They’re all selfish bastards.’

  Our eyes lock for a couple of heady beats, and I know he wants me, too. I can see it. But I’m not here for that, not right now. Not until I know what I’m doing. And I really do have to focus, I have to think on my feet here. I need to begin a new and slightly revised plan, and keep my fingers crossed that Mack Slayer is a man who can be swayed by a pretty face and the promise of low-down dirty sex. I need to make him think I’ve had a change of heart. I need to make him think that he’s helping me in a whole other way now.

  ‘What’re you doing here, Izzi?’

  ‘I want a job.’

  He laughs, as I knew he would. He won’t take me seriously, not at first, so I was ready for that reaction. But it might just work. If I keep at it. ‘You do know the kinda jobs we got on offer here, don’t you?’