The Unorthodox Arrival of Pumpkin Allan

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by Suzie Twine


  After clearing up the poo and the puddle that arrived shortly afterwards, Lois asked Tom if the puppy had come with any gear and instructions, she was quickly realising she knew very little about how to look after her new companion.

  “Oh yes, I’ve been to Superpets and bought half the shop. I’ll go and get it from the car.” He arrived back with an enormous cage full of toys, bowls and beds, then went out to the car again and came back with a large sack of dry puppy food.

  “Blimey! Where are we going to put this lot?”

  “Don’t know pet, it was….”

  “I know, it was me who wanted a dog! I thought it was you who said it needed careful thought.”

  “Well, it seemed like too good an opportunity to miss, a well bred puppy like this, from somebody I almost know.”

  Lois took one of the toys out of the cage, removed the label and tried to entice Elsa to play with it. Elsa, however, was unimpressed; she waddled over to the door and started chewing on Tom’s best work shoes that he’d just taken off.

  “Okay, well, I see the purpose of the cage!” said Lois as she scooped the puppy up with one hand and picked Tom’s shoes up with the other and put them on one of the dining room chairs.

  Lois went around the downstairs of the house removing anything that she deemed chewable. The kitchen was far too small to have the cage in, so after thinking it through and having a chat to Elsa’s breeder, Lois decided the best thing was for Elsa to sleep in the outhouse, in the cage. “Allegedly puppies don’t poo on their beds, so if their beds fill the cage…they don’t poo!” said Lois, as Tom returned from setting up the cage in the outhouse. Tom raised one eyebrow in skepticism. “Sounds like a good theory to me,” said Lois, ignoring him, “so we’ll give it a try.”

  Taking Elsa out to the garden every forty minutes or so, in the hopes of all the business being done outside, seemed to work well, and it was very entertaining watching the puppy jumping through the grass. At ten o’clock Lois settled Elsa down in her cage and made her way to bed, feeling completely drained.

  23

  The rest of the week saw Lois becoming more and more exhausted by a combination of an advancing pregnancy, a puppy that seemed to take up a ridiculous amount of her time and preparation for her parent’s first visit to the cottage which had been arranged for Saturday.

  By Friday morning Lois’s level of stress was such that she was beginning to feel quite nauseated. It was almost impossible to keep the puppy in the kitchen; every time the door was opened she would manage to run through. The result being several stains on the carpet which needed proper carpet shampoo to shift them. Lois needed to do a supermarket shop; she’d barely left the house all week. She also had an antenatal appointment booked. She’d meant to read Debbie’s Mamatoto book before it, so she could start talking through her plan for the birth with the midwife, but she hadn’t had time. And, the puppy was supposed to have been to the vets this week for her first vaccination.

  Lois took Elsa out onto the front lawn for a wee before she headed out. “Come on Elsa, hurry up, I’m in a rush!” Elsa just carried on sniffing at a spider she had found on the path, then did a huge leap and a twist, squashing the spider on landing, then she sniffed it again and proceeded to eat it. As Lois went to try to catch hold of her to remove the spider from her mouth, she raced off as fast as she could, with her tail tucked down between her back legs, around and around the little willow in the centre of the lawn. She only stopped when she misjudged a leap onto the front doorstep, crashed into it with her chest and rebounded heels over head. A few days ago Lois would have found Elsa’s behaviour incredibly endearing and would have laughed at her. Today however, the puppy’s lack of co-operation, when she was in such a hurry, was quite frankly, getting on her nerves.

  Lois was close to tears as she finally managed to pick Elsa up, deciding that she would just have to clear up a puddle from the cage when she got home. A click of the garden gate latch made her jump. “Oh Lois!” Doreen came through the gate and into the garden. “Is it yours?”

  “Yes,” Lois felt embarrassed being so stressed by the puppy, when Doreen and Jack were so upset about losing Ellie. “Her name’s Elsa.” Lois paused. “Sorry Doreen, I bet the last sort of dog you and Jack want to see is a black lab. Tom bought her as a surprise.”

  “Oh nonsense! She’s absolutely beautiful!”

  Lois offered the puppy to Doreen to hold. Delighted, Doreen carefully lifted Elsa into her arms and started tickling her behind her ears, instinctively avoiding the razor sharp teeth, which were always looking for a finger or watchstrap to chew.

  Lois thought for a moment, then decided that ‘you don’t know if you don’t ask,’ and said, “Doreen, I don’t suppose you could look after her for me for a few hours could you? I’ve got so much to get done in town and she needs to have her lunch at twelve.”

  “Lois I would be delighted. I don’t know what Jack’ll think though. It might be a bit early for him to see another dog in the house.”

  “No, you’re right, it wouldn’t be fair.” Lois felt a pang of guilt for making such a selfish suggestion. “How is Jack?”

  “Oh, you know, not brilliant. He is getting up now though, thanks to you. I tell you what Lois, let’s take her and see what reaction we get. You come with me.”

  Lois grabbed her keys and shut the front door. They found Jack sitting in the kitchen gazing into space.

  “Jack. Look what Lois and Tom have got.”

  Jack looked up and saw what Doreen was carrying. He immediately turned his wheelchair to face the other direction, muttering a very disgruntled “Oh bugger off!” as he did so.

  Doreen took Lois into the living room. “I tell you what Lois, you go and get her food and what ever else she needs. I’ll just have to keep her out of his way that’s all.”

  Relieved but still feeling somewhat guilty, Lois went back to the house. She decided the cage would be useful, so loaded the boot of her new car with it, the food and all the other bits that Doreen might need, including some brief instructions, drove them the thirty metres or so up the road and unloaded them into Doreen’s living room. She gave Doreen a hug in thanks and made her way off to town.

  The supermarket was packed. Lois felt like she was walking through a fog of exhaustion. Not being used to the lay out of the shop, it took her ages to find everything she needed. She got to the queue for the checkout and glanced at her watch. She couldn’t believe it; she had been in there for two hours. Her appointment with the midwife was in five minutes; there was no way she would get there in time. She decided she had no choice but to abandon her full trolley, the last thing she wanted was for the midwife to think she was too disorganised to get to an appointment on time.

  Lois was just about to leave when she had a sudden change of heart. She had spent two hours doing the shopping, the midwife was bound to be running late, and last time she’d had to wait half an hour. If she retrieved the trolley after the appointment, the frozen things would have started to de-frost. She couldn’t bear the thought of starting the shopping process all over again. She did an abrupt turnaround, almost crashing into an elderly lady with a wheeled walking frame in the process and rejoined the queue that she’d left.

  Lois loaded her shopping onto the conveyer belt, piling the goods up high because the belt wasn’t moving fast enough. Several times items fell off onto the floor, including a bag of apples, which she abandoned to the back of the checkout, she didn’t want to buy bruised apples. Making very obvious glances at her watch from time to time and sticking out her bump as far as possible, Lois tried to give the impression of being about to give birth in the hope that it would hurry the cashier and customer in front of her along a bit. Her mannerisms had no effect; in fact she was sure that they were going deliberately slower. It was the last straw when the customer started arguing that one of the items that she was buying was on special offer, but had gone through at full price. Lois was so stressed by this time, standing there, huffing and puffi
ng, waiting for the runner to go and do a price check, that she took a two pound coin out of her purse. “To make up the difference. Please take it, I’m in a terrible hurry!” said Lois as she gave it to the very well dressed lady in front of her. The woman looked so doubtful that Lois, in desperation whispered, “My waters have just broken!” in the hope that she would just get out of the way.

  “Oh my lord!” The lady shouted, “Quick, get an ambulance! This ladies waters have just broken!”

  “Oh no!” mumbled Lois to herself, turning very red. The cashier lent over her till to see if there was amniotic fluid all over the floor. Lois put her hands over her face; this really wasn’t going at all well. The manager appeared with a chair for Lois to sit on, which she was grateful for despite it being under false pretences.

  “I’ll just go and call an ambulance for you,” Lois grabbed the manager by the arm as she turned to walk off.

  “No, I’m fine, really. I’m due to see the midwife at the surgery right now in fact. If someone would just help me get the shopping through the check-out and into the car.”

  “Well, if you’re sure dear?”

  Lois reassured the manager that she would be fine and with that she and another shop assistant packed Lois’s shopping for her and carried it out to the car. As they left the till Lois called after them that she hadn’t paid. The manager waved her hand back at her, “Our treat my dear, shop policy, when your waters break in here you shop for free!” Lois could feel her cheeks flush red with embarrassment. Then she had another alarming thought, where was she going to shop for the remainder of her pregnancy?

  When Lois arrived at the surgery the midwife was just picking up her messages from reception before she left. Lois walked up to the desk and gave her name awkwardly. “I’m so sorry to be so late, I got caught up,” she paused, then decided to leave the explanation at that.

  The midwife looked at her watch, said she would just have time to see her before her next visit and took Lois through to her room.

  “So Lois, I’m Hattie, we’ve not met before. How’s it all going, any problems, worries?” The young midwife checked Lois’s blood pressure as she chatted.

  “No, I think I’m fine. I would like to talk through the possibilities of a home birth though. I realise with me arriving so late you won’t have time today, but”

  “A home birth, great! Yes, so long as you’re fit and healthy throughout the entire pregnancy, go for it. It will be a truly magical experience for you and your partner.” Truly magical? That sounded a bit over the top; presumably it was still going to hurt like hell!

  “Wee specimen Lois?”

  “Oh, gosh, sorry, I completely forgot!”

  “Don’t worry. Look, I tell you what. You seem a bit flustered today. How about I come for a home visit on Monday. I’ve just had a cancellation so I can fit you in at eleven o’clock. We can talk through home birth and check the specimen then?”

  “Great!” said Lois, then the thought of the puppy poo on the carpet and how the midwife would respond to that, flashed through her mind. Should she suggest meeting at the surgery? No, she would just have to make sure young Elsa was safely away in her cage.

  “Just pop up on the bed, we’ll have a quick feel of baby now.”

  Lois jumped as the midwife put her cold hands on her tummy. “Mm, thirty six weeks. Plenty of movement?”

  “Oh yes, especially at night!”

  “Always the way. Lets just measure.” Lois prepared for the cold of the tape measure. “Oh yes, good size. And heart beat?” Lois loved this bit of the proceedings. She listened intently while the midwife slid the gelled monitor over her tummy where she expected to pick up the beat. And smiled happily when she heard it. “There we are, everything appears to be going well.” Hattie passed Lois some tissues to wipe the gel away then helped her into a sitting position. “Right, see you on Monday.”

  “Monday, eleven o’clock. That’s great. See you then.” Lois walked out of the surgery repeating to herself, Monday eleven o’clock, Monday eleven o’clock.

  Lois was completely exhausted by the time she had got home and unloaded the shopping. The last thing she felt like doing was going to collect Elsa, but, she’d been much longer than she’d told Doreen she would be, so got back in the car and drove up the lane. As she drove she started to wonder how the hell she was going to manage a puppy and a baby, had she been completely mad thinking she could do this?

  Lois knocked at the front door, trying to look enthusiastic at the thought of an evening of visits to the garden and running round keeping Elsa in check when all she actually wanted to do was sleep.

  Doreen opened the door. “Lois! You’re early. I thought you’d be ages yet.” Lois was surprised at this response; she’d been almost four hours! “Come on through, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

  Lois followed Doreen through the kitchen and into the garden where Jack was sitting asleep in his electric wheelchair, with Elsa, fast asleep on his lap.

  “They’ve bonded!” smiled Doreen, “The puppy wouldn’t leave Jack alone, as if she knew that he needed something to distract him. She started off tugging at his trouser leg, which he ignored. Then she chewed at his slipper a bit, which he tried hard to ignore. Then she desperately tried to climb up his legs, making little whimpering sounds. She kept falling over backwards in her efforts, but would just come back and try again. Eventually he pulled her up and she jumped up to his face and started licking him. At this point, Jack started to chuckle and for the rest of the afternoon they have been entertaining each other. Cup of tea?” Doreen turned to Lois and was astonished to see her with tears running down her cheeks, reaching into her bag to try and find a tissue.

  “I’m so pleased Doreen!” Lois sobbed.

  “Lois. What’s the matter?”

  “It’s just so sweet,” Lois wiped her eyes and blew her nose, “I’m sorry Doreen, I’m an emotional wreck at the moment, ignore me!”

  Doreen and Lois went into the kitchen. Lois sat at the kitchen table; she’d been desperate to take the weight off her feet. As Doreen made the tea Lois realised there was a great possibility here. She wasn’t coping well with the puppy and the baby hadn’t even arrived yet, and Jack, well, having a little dependant creature might be just the thing for him.

  “Doreen,”

  “Yes?”

  “Would you like to keep her?”

  “Sorry?”

  “The puppy, Elsa, would you like to keep her?”

  Lois explained how she’d been struggling to manage the puppy over the past week and was beginning to have serious concerns that she wouldn’t be able to give Elsa the attention she deserved when the baby arrives.

  “Well Lois. That’s very kind.” Doreen paused, “Can I think it through and talk to Jack?”

  “Of course.”

  “Tell you what, leave her here for now, she’s fast asleep, I’ll pop her down later. Now are you sure that’s what you want. I don’t want to raise Jack’s hopes for something that may not happen, no offence.”

  “None taken,” said Lois. She didn’t feel like defending her integrity so soon after the ‘waters-breaking’ incident. “I think it would be important that you pay for her though,” said Lois, feeling she ought to handle this potential agreement in a grown-up fashion, “so she is really yours and Jack’s, her paperwork all transferred to you.”

  “Yes absolutely.” Doreen smiled broadly. “This could work out perfectly Lois. Thank you.”

  Lois drove home, lay down on the sofa and fell asleep. It was Tom arriving home and gently rubbing her shoulder that woke her up several hours later.

  “What have you done with our little black ball of fur?”

  Lois was feeling a bit disorientated and had a brief moment of panic that she had lost the dog, or worse, let it loose to roam around the house, chewing and pooing! Then she remembered and filled Tom in on what had happened with Elsa during the day.

  “So, let me get this straight. You desperately want to
get a puppy. Then, against my better judgement, I buy you one, as a gift. Within a week you’ve offered to give it away.”

  “No, no, not give it away. If they have her, they’ll buy her. I let Doreen know that.”

  “Oh well, that’s something I suppose! But it wasn’t the money I was worried about.”

  “Oh, don’t be cross! I’ve had such a bad day.” Tears started to well up in Lois’s eyes again.

  “Oh don’t be daft, I’m not cross, in fact it’s quite funny. So why was your day so bad?”

  Lois proceeded to tell Tom about her traumatic shopping trip as Tom hugged her.

  “Blimey Lo, you do manage to get yourself into some awkward situations! Life was much easier when you were going to work everyday, what are you going to do when you’ve got a Pumpkin in tow?”

  “Oh it’ll be easy, I’ll be organised by then!”

  There was a knock at the door. It was Doreen, without Elsa. Tom invited her in and offered her a glass of wine, which she refused on the grounds of needing to have her wits about her in regards to both Jack and Elsa. Then said that if Lois and Tom were sure, that she and Jack would love to have the puppy.

  “I can’t believe how quickly Jack has taken to her. I saw it taking months, if not years for Jack to take any interest in another dog. But they are practically inseparable already! She’s such a dear little thing and seems very intelligent. Jack’s already taught her to sit to a hand gesture. Oh Lois, he’s so elated, I can’t tell you.”

  Lois looked at Tom, “We’re sure aren’t we Tom?” Tom nodded, he hadn’t realised that changing two people’s lives so positively could be as easy as buying his fiancée a present on a whim.

  “You’re sure you don’t want more time to think about it?”

  “No really. We’re delighted that this has worked out. It must be fate!” Tom said, turning to look at Lois, “We’ll see you tomorrow and just make sure she’s settling okay and sort out the paperwork, shall we?”

 

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