by Suzie Twine
“Perfect,” said Doreen, grinning broadly.
They said their goodbyes and as they closed the door after Doreen, Lois said, “Blimey, she looks about ten years younger than she did a few days ago!”
“That is amazing. So Lois, do you believe in fate?”
“Me, yes, why do you ask?”
“Well it seems quite a coincidence doesn’t it, you deciding you desperately need a puppy just after Jack and Doreen lose their dog. Jack would not have let Doreen get another dog under normal circumstances, not for a long time anyway.”
“Mmm, funny how these things work out, as you say, must be fate, or the hand of a greater force?”
24
Lois woke with a start on Saturday morning, the realisation that her parents were coming in a few hours hitting home and shocking her into an unwelcome early start. The house was a pit; the kitchen hadn’t been cleared for days. The washing needed doing, the poo stains on the carpet needed scrubbing and she had been hoping to tidy the garden a bit more before they came for their first visit. She woke Tom in the hope that he would help her to get organised. To her surprise, he was very keen to get up and help. The new lawn mower had arrived and he was eager to take it for a test run.
“I’m not sure the lawn mower will cope with the grass the length it is Tom, it’s grown a lot since your Mum and Dad were here. I think maybe it needs to be strimmed and raked first. I had a quick look at the instructions yesterday and they indicated that grass over six inches would cause the blades to jam up.”
“What have I told you about reading instructions? I don’t need them, I rely on male instinct and a scientific mind!”
“Oh God! Okay, whatever. But remember it cost a lot of money!”
Tom finished his cereal and coffee and disappeared out of the back door, grinning. Lois loaded the dishwasher, another luxury she had really appreciated over the last week, then got on with washing up the pans.
Lois had always got very nervous about her parents visiting. She was desperate to give them the impression she was a capable, organised woman. With the kitchen, old fashioned as it was, looking clean and tidy, she moved on to scrubbing the stains off the carpet. She heard Tom come in through the back door; he’d apparently jammed the new mower within the first five yards of using it and was not at all happy. Lois bit her lip to prevent a very eager ‘I told you so!’ escaping. Instead saying, “Oh Pet, I’m sorry to hear that. What are you going to do now then?”
“Use the strimmer, like my clever girlfriend suggested in the first place!” Tom gave Lois a hug. “What are you doing anyway? Scrubbing the house to within an inch of its life to impress your parents?”
“I might be!”
“Lo, you ought to relax with them. Do you really think it’s going to make a difference to the way they are with you, whether the house is gleaming or not?”
“Well it might actually.”
“You’ve spent your life trying to get them to show you more affection. I think you ought to give up, relax. They are not luvvy, huggy people. From what you’ve told me they never have been and probably never will be. Your Dad’s only interest is money and your Mum’s spent most of her life too pissed to know what’s important to her.”
“God, you make them sound really awful!”
“No, not really awful. Just…oh I don’t know, no, I think they have a lot to offer, it’s just that I don’t like seeing you getting yourself stressed over the state of the house when they probably won’t notice what it looks like.”
“Okay. I might still scrub the poo stains off the carpet though eh? Oh, talking of poo stains, why don’t we pop up the road to Doreen and Jack’s and see how they’re getting on with young Elsa?”
“All right, quickly though. I’ve got a lawn to create. I’m trying to impress my in-laws!”
There was no answer from Doreen and Jack’s house and there was nobody in the garden. Lois chose to take this as a good sign, maybe Jack had gone out in the car. If he had, it would probably be the first time since loosing Ellie. As Lois and Tom came out of the gate they saw Adam about to turn into his garden. He’d been for a run. Lois told him they’d been to check on puppy progress.
“Oh yes, you’re a bit of a miracle worker by all accounts. Jack was desperate to get Elsa down to the vet’s to start her vaccination program so he can take her out for walks as soon as possible. I couldn’t believe the change in him. Quite incredible!”
“That’s good news,” said Tom. “Incidentally did anyone clear up the issue of the poison and where it had come from?”
“Oh yes. It was a new trainee groundsman from the Manor. He’d been sent up to collect something from the barns, seen a couple of rats, which apparently scared him. Then he decided to take matters into his own hands and put down a load of poison, just out in the open!”
“Bloody hell, that’s appalling!” said Tom.
“Well, he is now on an extremely tight rein apparently, not allowed out of the groundsman’s sight. The Manor are going to compensate Jack financially, the manager was hugely embarrassed about the whole thing.” Adam thought for a second, then shook his head, “Poor Ellie, of all the dogs, really terrible. Anyway, can’t stop now. I’m picking up your mate Mel from the station at eleven. She’s coming to stay for the weekend.” Adam glanced at his watch and realising how late he was running, started to back up his garden path. “Would you two like to come for lunch tomorrow? I’m thinking of doing a barbecue.”
“Sound great,” said Lois, relieved that tomorrow would be much more relaxing than today.
“Good, see you at twelve thirty!” and Adam turned and ran to his house.
By the time Geoffrey and Irene arrived, the house looked reasonably presentable from the front. Tom had mown the front lawn successfully, as it had never been left to grow overly long. He had even trimmed the edges. Lois had picked some roses from the garden and put them in a vase on the dining room table and the cottage was fairly clean and tidy.
Lois spotted her parents climbing out of her father’s sparkling vintage Mercedes convertible. She called Tom in from the back garden, gesticulating at him from the back door as he hacked at the lawn with the strimmer, petrol fumes pouring out of it. Tom came in through the back door as Lois welcomed Geoffrey and Irene at the front. He marched through to shake hands with Geoffrey, his hands covered in oil.
“Oh Tom!” said Lois. But Geoffrey was delighted.
“Working on an engine are you Tom?” he chortled. Great! Like to show me what it is your doing? Tom said a brief hello to Irene and the two men went out to the back garden, where Geoffrey insisted on having a go with the strimmer. He never did any gardening at home, they’d had a gardener ever since Lois could remember, but now he looked like he was in his element.
“Well Lois, this is lovely. So quaint!” Irene looked surprisingly animated. “Are you going to show me around then darling?” Lois gave her mother a tour of the house and started to relax as Irene gave some unexpected compliments about the cottage, the decor, choice of curtains, the setting, even the garden. By the time Lois had finished showing Irene round, she felt like she’d had more positive feedback from her mother in the last fifteen minutes than she’d had from her in the last fifteen years. The only negative comment was that the upstairs was very small, with only the two bedrooms. But that was a fair point.
They lunched in the garden, on the picnic rug. Lois couldn’t remember ever seeing her father more relaxed. He lay on his side supported by his rotund belly, propping up his head with his hand as he chatted and munched his way through lunch. He had insisted on drinking his beer out of the bottle and swigged his way through several, which Lois had never known him do before, she couldn’t even remember him drinking beer. At one point Irene, much to Lois’s amazement and horror, lay with her head in his lap. “Jesus, have you seen them? What the hell’s going on?” said Lois to Tom, when they were alone in the kitchen. “They never show each other affection!”
“It’s nice isn�
�t it?” Tom responded. “Reassuring to think they might still be in love after thirty-five years of marriage.”
“Yeah, maybe,” said Lois still feeling uncertain about the whole thing.
Lois was even more surprised when later in the afternoon, her father insisted on having a conducted tour of the cottage and positively cooed over the baby’s room. He started reminiscing about Lois and James as babies and what a gorgeous little girl Lois was and how she had developed into a beautiful and sophisticated woman. Lois was so astonished by this remark, she didn’t know how to respond. She had always felt that she’d been a huge disappointment to her father, she’d never really excelled at school, wasn’t sporty, had had no interest in going to law school as he had suggested. He’d never really complimented her before, or not that she could remember anyway. So this comment rendered her speechless and a little wobbly on her feet.
“Are you all right my dear? You’re looking a little pale.”
“Um, yes thanks, I’m….. fine.”
Geoffrey continued talking to Lois as they walked back downstairs. “Another thing I want to discuss with you and Thomas is the wedding. Delighted to hear you’re going to tie the knot dear. Now, your Mother and I would obviously want to bear the expense of the event, I hope that’s suits you both.”
‘Blimey’, thought Lois, she had’t woken up this morning expecting the day to go like this! Tom was in the dining room, showing photographs to Irene of how the cottage looked when they first took possession.
“Oh Geoffrey! Do come and have a look at these photographs. It’s remarkable the improvements that Lois and Thomas have made in such a short space of time,” said Irene excitedly.
As her father sat himself down next to his wife, Lois said. “Tom, Geoffrey’s just very kindly offered to foot the bill for the wedding.”
“Gosh, that’s extremely generous of you! We really weren’t expecting you to contribute to that as well, having given us such a substantial house warming gift.”
“Oh please, take the offer Thomas, we can’t take it with us, can we Irene? And I’m damned if the tax man’s going to get his hands on it.” Geoffrey took his chequebook out of his wife’s handbag. “How much?”
Tom looked at Lois. She shrugged. “I’m not sure,” said Tom as he saw Lois’s father had already started writing. Twenty thousand pounds.
“That should cover it.” Geoffrey slapped the cheque into the palm of Tom’s hand.
“Gosh Geoffrey, that looks likely to be far more than we…” He was cut short. Geoffrey raised his hand.
“We’ll hear no more of it Tom, it’s our pleasure! Now quick cup of tea perhaps before we make tracks back to the Big Smoke?” Lois went to put the kettle on, Irene following her through to the kitchen.
“You know Tom,” said Geoffrey, giving Tom a gentle slap on the back, “this really is a very special little spot you’ve found for yourselves. It’s making me wonder whether we shouldn’t be giving some consideration to moving out to the country ourselves.”
“Well, it’s early days, but so far we love it.”
Lois called through to her father. She had noticed from the kitchen window some kites flying close to the back garden. “Geoffrey, come and see what you think of these.”
The four of them went out the back door and Lois pointed out the birds. “Bloody hell, what are those, they’re not buzzards are they?” asked Geoffrey.
“No, red kites,” said Lois.
They watched, in awe, the flying display in front of them. Two birds, searching for food, flying effortlessly, low over the garden and the land beyond, the only apparent movement being the tilting of their tails and turning of their heads. Gradually the birds moved beyond their sight. “Fantastic aren’t they?” said Lois as she turned back towards the kitchen door to go and finish making the tea.
“Quite extraordinary!” said Geoffrey looking a little dazed.
“Delightful! Oh Thomas, aren’t you lucky. You’ve found a little piece of heaven!” said Irene, taking Tom’s hand and giving it a squeeze.
Once Irene and Geoffrey had driven away, Lois and Tom sat down on the sofa. “Well, I didn’t expect that! Were they actually my parents, so chatty, so interested, so relaxed, dare I say it, so happy?”
“Na…your parents were abducted somewhere between the North Circ. and the M25. Those were aliens!” Lois gave Tom a gentle nudge in the ribs and smiled. “Still, I liked them. Perhaps we should see more of them Lo, that was a really nice day.”
“Yes, it was wasn’t it?”
25
On Monday, Lois was on a mission to get done some of the things that she had been meaning to do for ages. The weekend had ended up being full on, with her parent’s visit on Saturday and Adam’s barbecue lasting until well into the evening on Sunday. Visiting Bert and Betty was first on the list, followed by tackling the flowerbeds in the front garden, ordering a new nameplate for the cottage and then she was going to sit down and start reading the book that Debbie had given her. She decided she would tidy up the breakfast things later.
Lois felt very embarrassed that she hadn’t been to see Bert and Betty sooner. She knocked tentatively on the back door, which was ajar.
She pushed the door open slightly more and called, “Cooee, Bert, Betty, it’s Lois!”
“Is that Lois?” came Betty’s tiny voice from her chair in the corner of the kitchen.
“It is Betty, yes. How are you?” Lois walked across the kitchen reaching for Betty’s hands, which she was holding out.
“Oh Lois, I’m so glad you’ve come.” Betty was shaking. Her voice was wavering as she spoke. “It’s Bert. I’m so worried about ‘im!” Betty reached for a hankie that she had poked up the sleeve of a somewhat grubby cardigan, and wiped her eyes. After that she had trouble getting her words out. Lois knelt down and waited until she’d regained her ability to speak.
“I don’t know wha’s the matter with ‘im Lois, I’m sure I don’t. ‘E keeps talking nonsense! Say’s there’s li’l people livin’ in the ‘ouse. That ‘e don’t know what to do about ‘em, says they won’t go away.”
Lois was completely taken aback; she’d only popped in for a quick chat! “Gosh Betty, no wonder you’re worried! How long has he been like this?”
“Ooh, a couple o’ days I think. ‘E’s not been ‘elping me, you see, Lois. My, I do struggle to get on without ‘is ’elp. ’E’s not made any food. ’E ’asn’t eaten. I’ve ’ad what I managed to find in the fridge an’ the cupboard, a piece of cheese and some stale crackers.” Lois’s mind was starting to wander as Betty spoke. What was she going to do to sort this out? Who to tell first? “……Burn the ‘ouse down!” said Betty, snapping Lois’s chain of thought back to the here and now.
“Pardon Betty, I didn’t catch that.”
“‘E said ‘e’s going to burn the ‘ouse down, it’s the only thing that’ll get rid of ‘em.”
“Get rid of them?”
“The li’l people. ‘E says it’s the only thing to do.”
“Bloody hell,” said Lois in astonishment. “Where is he now?”
“I think ‘e’s upstairs dear. Oh Lois, what should we do?”
“What’s your doctors phone number Betty?”
Betty directed Lois to where the address book was kept. Lois found the number and having established that Bert and Betty didn’t have a phone, put it in her mobile, then went to find Bert.
She climbed the stairs slowly and cautiously, not really knowing what to expect at the top. Had Bert transformed from sweet old man into a raving nutcase since she’d last seen him? She reached the landing and called quietly, “Bert, it’s Lois, I’ve come to see how you are.” Lois’s heart was racing as she knocked on the bedroom door. She could see Bert’s reflection in the cracked dressing table mirror as she walked slowly into the room. He saw her reflection and smiled.
“Whose tha’?”
“It’s me, Lois. Just come to see how you are Bert.”
“Bloody awful! Tha�
��s ‘ow I am. Been invaded aint we! Pol’erguists, loads of ‘em, livin’ in the walls.” As Bert spoke, Lois saw his eyes flick across the room. Picking up a walking stick from the bed and shaking it at the wardrobe, he growled, “Go on, get out of it yer li’l bastard! There, see ‘im run Lois? You’ve got to keep on top of ‘em, see. So long as I’m ‘ere to chase ‘em away, it’s okay. But when I go downstairs, well, they all come in. There were ‘undreds of ‘em earlier. I said to Betty, I said, the best thing is to burn ‘em out, then they’ll not come back. I’ve not got time to sit up ‘ere all day, I’ve got Betty to look after yer know!” Lois noticed a box of matches on the bed. ”Watch out!” Bert shook his stick again, this time, in Lois’s direction. “Cor, you was lucky then. That one nearly ‘ad yer!”
Lois wasn’t at all sure how to respond, she wanted Bert to go downstairs, away from the matches. “Oh yes Bert, I saw that one! I tell you what, why don’t you go down and look after Betty for a while? I’ll keep watch up here.”
“Would you love? But do you think you can manage ‘em?”
“I think so, I’ll give you a shout if not.”
“All right, if you’re sure.” Bert got up, passed the walking stick to Lois and made his way slowly downstairs to Betty. Once he was out of earshot, Lois dialled the surgery number and asked to speak to Bert’s doctor. She felt the situation was serious, but didn’t know whether she should call an ambulance or not.
A familiar voice on the other end of the phone said, “Hello, who am I speaking to?”
“Lois Shenfield. I’m a neighbour of Bert and Betty Gibbons,”
“Lois, hi, it’s Richard speaking, what’s going on?”
Lois, felt greatly relieved to be speaking to Richard, it made the whole situation a great deal easier to explain. She proceeded to tell him about Bert’s bizarre behaviour, including his threats to burn down the house, the fact that Betty had been being neglected and that she was very worried about leaving them.