rogue shifter 05 - caught between

by Gayle Parness

  "I can hear them, " He sighed. Shocked, I watched his eyes glaze over as he started to lose himself again in horrific memories.

  "Garrett." My voice brought him back to the present, his expression etched with pain. "None of it was your fault." He started to protest, but I interrupted. "Shh." I ran my finger over his mouth and I watched his eyes pop with tiny silver dots. "I'm here. I love you. You had no power to change what that bitch did to you or anyone else. And anything you feel is okay. If you want to smash something or curse at the heavens or cry, then do it. No one will judge you, especially me. You saw what I was like after Kennet—after he took me."

  "It's not anger anymore, it's more regret. Especially now that you and Charlie are in my life. I think about my family because I have one of my own, and those thoughts lead me back here." He shook his head and twisted his mouth in irritation. "It's been over one hundred years since they died. I don't know why I can't let them go." He raked a hand through his hair, one of his 'tells' when he was stressed out.

  I took that same hand in mine and pulled him out of the chair and over to the railing. The stars were spectacular. I pressed my back against his chest and wrapped his arms across me so we could look at them together. "Think about your family's energy floating around out there in the universe, at peace and together for all time. You're the one who's had to live with what Eleanor did to them and to you and to all her other victims.

  I put one of his hands on the railing, covering it with mine. "This is just a terrace and a railing, not a torture chamber. Not anymore."

  I spun my body around to face him, still cradled in his arms, then rose up for a kiss. His mouth met mine in a rush of warm affection, his soft lips parting so our tongues could explore the now familiar terrain of our mouths. He tasted like the sweetest forbidden fruit, comforting yet terribly exciting, making me press myself closer.

  When we pulled apart, his eyes had lost their pain and he was smiling. "You are a miracle, still, to me." He stroked my face and then kissed both of my palms. "You're wrong about the worst thing that happened to me. It was when Kennet took you and I feared that he might kill you."

  "You got back two for the price of one." I rubbed my belly. As horrible as the experience had been with Kennet, I'd grown to love my tiny son and looked forward excitedly to his official appearance.

  "And now I'm twice as happy." He leaned over and kissed my belly then picked me up like I weighed nothing at all and carried me into the bedroom. We spent the last couple of hours before dawn making love and whispering sweet endearments, chatting quietly about Charlie and what life would be like after he was born. As Garrett brought me more joy than I thought possible, I wished again that I could find some way to heal this pain he'd endured for so long.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  It happened when I was in the garden, enjoying a new mystery on my ebook-reader. One minute it was just me and my story and the next, poof, he was there on the bench across from mine. I jumped and almost dropped my device, catching it at the last second, but still managing to spill my caffeine-free soda all over my right sandal.

  Farrell appeared half a second later between me and our unexpected visitor, his fae blade drawn, protectively taking a fighting stance.

  Smiling pleasantly, a very ordinary-looking young man was leaning back on the bench, enjoying the sunshine. He was dressed casually, not appearing like anyone from whom I'd require protection, although you'd be very wrong in your assumption. This male, with the average face and body, relaxing with his legs crossed and a smirk on his face, was actually a high level demon.

  "Isaiah, what the fuck!"

  "What a lovely greeting. It is nice to see you too, Jacqueline Grace Fitzgerald Crawford Cuvier."

  Hearing Isaiah use my full name, including the name my mother gave me, sent a tremor down my spine. Names have power in the magical world, and he was sending me a not-too-subtle message by using mine in greeting. Was it a threat? A peace offering? Probably nothing good.

  "Who is this handsome fae warrior?" He smiled at Farrell, the expression not touching his eyes. "Your latest lover perhaps? Have you dumped Liam?"

  I stood up angrily and tried to move Farrell slightly to the side, but he stubbornly remained where he was, asking, "What do you want here, demon?"

  "Isaiah. I am Isaiah. I have been invited." His voice had a rich tone that made you pay attention.

  I managed to poke my head around Farrell's shoulder. "I didn't summon you."

  "No, you invited me. He spoke in my voice, "I will invite you to my home after you return Kennet to Lord Caelen. You will behave yourself while you're staying with me or else Garrett or I can send you back anytime we want. Isaiah, I want to know-what-I-am.”

  He sat there smirking at me, so I turned to Farrell and said, "I did tell him that. Remember, after the Hunt? He helped to save my life when I was kidnapped, so maybe you can give me just a little space so I can talk to him? Stay close." Farrell nodded and moved aside, but he didn't sheath his sword and he'd only moved a couple of feet.

  "Did you return Kennet to Lord Caelen?"

  "Yes, fifteen minutes ago, your time. I got bored and thought that our lessons together would be much more fun." He indicated me and him with a sweep of his hand.

  "I invited you to my home. This isn't my home."

  "It is one of them. Garrett put it in your name. You did not know?"

  I hadn't known and that annoyed me. I narrowed my eyes. "I'm on vacation."

  "In the perfect place to begin your lessons." He looked around the garden.

  Scowling, I continued, "I'm nine weeks pregnant and not in the mood for your craziness."

  "Tsk, tsk. Those raging hormones are wreaking havoc on your normally sweet nature." He smiled, the irony not lost on me.

  I clenched my fists. "You knew I was pregnant, didn't you? And the archdemoness knew too, when you invited me there."

  He frowned, unhappy with me. "Lesson number one: Never refer to your grandmother as an archdemoness. She should be addressed by you as Archdemon Naberia or Bassilissa Naberia or preferably, as Grandmother. Demons don't differentiate between the male and female, we're androgynous beings." I must have looked completely shocked because he laughed at me. "We have our preferences as to gender, but we've all experimented with both."

  I couldn't think of any response at all, so he continued. "To answer your question, yes, we knew when we saw your aura that you were with child, but not about that horrible name you've chosen. Why not Argzandell or Rhyzkx? Pick a good demon name."

  "Demon, you will speak to Jacqueline with respect or I will eviscerate you." Farrell had taken a step toward Isaiah, his lavender eyes streaked with an angry gold. I knew without question who would win this battle if it came to a fight. Farrell was a brave seelie warrior, skilled I was sure, but Isaiah was a high demon, probably centuries, if not millennia more experienced. I couldn't let it happen.

  Fortunately, Isaiah completely ignored Farrell's threat. "I am so going to enjoy my time with you, Jacqueline." He turned his head toward Farrell, and spoke with a superior air. "Young fae, why don't you run along and find out what is being served for lunch. I find the journey has made me slightly peckish."

  Farrell spoke to me, still keeping his gaze riveted on Isaiah. "Jacqueline, may I suggest that you send him back to his realm immediately. You have the power to do so in the bargain you made with him."

  Isaiah's eyes darkened, making me a little wary. "Our agreement states that she can only send me back if my behavior warrants it and she has given me two prior warnings. Plus, she will forfeit the opportunity to learn the skills that I can teach her, because if she sends me away like a servant, I will not be coming back again." His voice was icy, making it quite clear that rejecting his offer to train me would be an enormous insult, one that would probably come back to bite me in the ass.

  I sent to Farrell mentally, hoping that I was blocking Isaiah out of my thoughts. "Please give me a minute to talk to him." Farrell frowned at me. "I
f you could stick close, I'll feel safer." Hopefully that would smooth any ruffled feathers. The fae were a proud people. He nodded and stayed immobile, his sword sheathed but his hand still resting on the hilt.

  "My life is different now, Isaiah. I'm going to be a mother, and I don't feel quite so compelled to destroy my enemies by learning to use your demonic-powered nuclear weapons. My usual magic is good enough." He sat quietly, smiling pleasantly but not responding, so I tried again.

  "Maybe you could come back in the spring. Charlie would be six months old then and I'll have hopefully gotten the hang of motherhood. My hormones would be calmer and I'd be able to concentrate on the lessons."

  "If you want me to come back in the spring, you have to strike a new bargain. I'm here now because you gave me Kennet for two months. You'd have to offer me something similar to get me back as part of a bargain."

  "I have nothing like that to offer you."

  His eyes flashed orange. "Perhaps I could be Charlie's tutor."

  My hands automatically clutched at my belly as Farrell instantly moved forward, saying, "You will not touch the fae child."

  He shrugged and held up a placating hand. "I'm only here to fulfill my end of the agreement." His eyes glowed with amber and he spoke in a raspy tone. "But understand, the child has richer blood than fae."

  Shit. This was not going well at all. I stood up as quickly as my condition allowed. "Isaiah, would you be my guest for today, for lunch and dinner, so that you and I can discuss this situation together with Garrett and my friends, Liam and Kellaine—and Farrell? I'm sure that an agreement can be reached without involving Charlie."

  He smiled at me. "A wise decision. You still retain a level head in the heat of unexpected and uncomfortable circumstances. You will be an apt student." Something about his declaration made me shudder. He turned to Farrell. "I mean the lady no harm or disrespect and I have no argument with you, young fae. As she suggests, we will talk this out and reach an accord."

  Farrell glanced at me and nodded, looking satisfied but not happy. "Thank you." I said to both of them, feeling immensely relieved, yet also pissed off that I'd been manipulated so easily by Isaiah. Had this been some kind of stupid test?

  Isaiah stood up. "May we eat? I particularly enjoy spicy food. Does your chef make anything with curry?"

  CHAPTER SIX

  Our odd group of assorted supernaturals sat at the dinner table in the large dining room, most of us simply picking at our food as we watched our newest guest wolfing his meal down with great enthusiasm. Garrett sat in his usual place at the head, with me on his right and Kellaine and Farrell on his left. Liam sat next to me, mainly because he insisted on being between me and Isaiah, who was at the other end of the fairly long table.

  Farrell had mentally contacted Liam as lunch was being prepared and he'd returned instantly with Kellaine, then spent the next five minutes reaming out Farrell in Fae for not calling him as soon as Isaiah had appeared. I didn't know the language, but Kellaine translated as we stood outside the closed office door giggling at some of Liam's more heated comments. It was fascinating to me how a language that flowed so beautifully from the tongue, that filled your ears with sweet music, could still produce phrases like, "your pustule-filled brain, shitty excuse for a warrior, fucking irresponsible," etc...

  After our earlier tension-filled lunch, Isaiah had entertained himself by exploring the house and the grounds as Liam followed him around scowling, making sure he stayed away from where Garrett was resting. After the tour, my demon trainer plunked himself in a chair in front of the enormous flat screen TV until dinner. He particularly enjoyed reality shows where the participants were rather low on the human evolutionary scale. As our demon guest watched "Ridiculously Rich Wives" and "Shore Sluts", Liam, Kellaine and Farrell continued to stick close to me, haunting my every step. In desperation, I taught the three of them how to play backgammon and spent a couple of hours participating in a tournament which Liam won, big surprise.

  I woke Garrett at his usual time and explained the situation, so he asked me to stay upstairs with him until he'd showered and dressed. No one wanted me anywhere near Isaiah without being surrounded by a full contingent of protectors, so I humored them. After all they were protecting Charlie too.

  It surprised me, but I wasn't afraid of Isaiah. I knew he'd never be my friend, and could one day be my enemy, but I was also certain that if we struck a bargain, he would live up to his end. According to Demonic Law, he was compelled to, so under the auspices of such an agreement, I'd feel safe, because I'd always know exactly where I stood.

  It was true that I'd invited him to my home, and he'd shown up as planned, although it was earlier than I'd imagined and in a home I didn't know was mine. Maybe we could still manage to work together without all the rigmarole of a new agreement.

  So here we sat at dinner, Garrett and the fae glaring at Isaiah as he smiled at each of them, always stopping to meet my eyes, and waiting. I decided to begin the conversation when everyone seemed to have finished eating.

  "Isaiah, are you prepared to start giving me lessons?"

  "Tonight, if you wish, healer." I arched an eyebrow and he smiled. "Forgive me. I will remember to call you Jacqueline." We'd had that conversation while I was a prisoner.

  "And what would these lessons entail?" Liam asked.

  "I'll answer my student's questions, and possibly her mate's, but not yours."

  I put my hand on Liam's to keep him from overreacting. "Please answer, Isaiah."

  "We'd go over what you've learned from me already, which was quite a lot in a very short period of time." He smirked at the others, obviously taking credit for my escape from Lord Kennet, ignoring the fact that he wasn't even around when I'd managed to ley-line it out of there. "Then we'd explore your limits."

  "I'm pregnant."

  "None of what I teach you will harm the child or you or anyone here. The child has your demon blood and will be born with the same birthmark that you bear. The tiny female fae told you as much. Using any of your natural powers won't hurt him because he carries them as well."

  "How do you know what Sinlae told me?" He looked at me like I was an idiot. "Stay out of my head, Isaiah." He was so exasperating.

  "It's such a busy place. So entertaining."

  I glowered at him. "Can you teach me how to keep you out, cause that's a trick I really want to learn."

  "Yes. And I will, along with other useful skills."

  His expression had grown more serious, so I got serious too. "I won't kill."

  "I would not ask to you to kill on my behalf. If I want someone dead, I always take care of it myself. But it's a good time for me to point out that you've already killed." He held up fingers as he ticked the incidents off. "There was Antoine, then the wolves in the Brownlow and Pine Ridge packs then Nathaniel's second in command. Were there others?"

  "Killing to defend myself is not..."

  "What?" I didn't respond. " Evil? A demon is not inherently evil, no matter what your warm and fuzzy fae friends have told you." He was getting annoyed, and I didn't want an angry demon on my hands.

  "I mean that I don't want to learn blood magic. I'll always kill when necessary to protect my family or my friends."

  He waved his hand in a dismissive way. "I will not teach you the darker arts of my kind. I do not believe that you would be able to master them, not because you are not powerful enough, but because your magic still has too much life energy. The combination of a cheetah shapeshifter and a healer is as close to fae magic as you can get and not be fae."

  Liam's mouth twitched at the corners, but he managed to hold onto the frown he'd kept directed at Isaiah. "Just so."

  Up until now, Garrett had remained quiet, but he leaned forward to say, "We need you to be much more specific about what you'll teach her."

  He ignored Garrett and spoke only to me, his voice becoming a mesmerizing whisper. "Jacqueline, I will teach you to control your demon magic. Right now your rage brings it
burning to the surface, although you say you've left much of your anger behind you." He closed his eyes and smiled, then opened them again. "Despite what you say, I feel it buried deeply, behind barriers you've unconsciously created. It frightens you. I will teach you how to access, control and focus your magic like a laser. Use it only for defense if you wish. You need never employ it to kill."

  I turned to Liam. "What's the difference between demon and fae magic?"

  Isaiah answered before Liam had a chance, making my fae friend grunt in exasperation. "Both of our ancient Magicks are concerned with transformation. The fae gain power from natural changes in the order and balance of things. We gain power from unexpected outside sources, like violent weather, but also from extremes of passion, which can include great love, or tremendous courage. In both cases, whatever forces feed our magic, also feeds the ley lines, which in turn feed every other supernatural's magic. This is why both races can travel within them easily. Because we've created them, they are as much a part of us as our own flesh."

  Liam frowned. "You feed on hate, rage, fear and cruelty. By great love, you mean unbridled lust and your version of tremendous courage is usually recklessness."

  "Semantics." He tilted his head and continued. "Perhaps your fae friends didn't mention that the blood of life itself feeds the magic of fae and demon alike."

  "For my people, it's the sharing of blood to help maintain the Balance." Liam clarified.

  "Spilling it...drinking it...," Isaiah added, giving Garrett a pointed look.

  "Killing to get enough to use it in a murderous spell." Garrett wasn't happy to be lumped in with the demons.

  I giggled and they all looked at me curiously. "I know you don't believe in the Balance, Isaiah, but there is a kind of twisted balance between your two races."

  He shrugged. "This is true. We are constantly struggling to twist what they have just managed to straighten." He swept his hand toward Liam, laughing at his joke.