rogue shifter 05 - caught between

by Gayle Parness

  "And what does she want in return?"

  "Will and I both have to stay and help."

  "Help? Help her do what?"

  She jutted out her chin in defiance. "I'm Caelen's enemy, now. I'm siding with my own blood." I took a step back in shock. She must've thought I was afraid for my own safety because she moved closer to the edge of the circle and spoke softly. "The demons will never harm you or Charlie. That's part of the deal. As long as you stay neutral, you're safe." She pulled a vial of blood out of her jacket pocket.

  "And Garrett?"

  She shrugged. "If he sides with his fae buddies, then he's against Grandmother and me." She started to shake drops of a red liquid around the inside of the circle. Then she recited the words again.

  "You'd kill Garrett?" She lifted her chin defiantly, not denying it. "And you'd kill me too, if I back Lord Caelen?"

  She sighed and fisted her hands, battling to keep control of her grief. "Jackie, you've been good to me, a real sister. You can come with me. They'll treat us like freakin' royalty and teach us everything. She promised me that you and me and Charlie could be made powerful enough to kick serious fae ass. They'll set me up with my own kingdom if I want."

  "Don't believe her lies. You can't trust Grandmother."

  "She sent Isaiah to you. He didn't have to train you the way he did."

  "He had to honor his agreement."

  "I think he's following Grandmother's orders in exchange for your safety. He's protecting you."

  "Protecting me?"

  "I'm not sure why, but he is. Grandmother holds the cards so he has to do what she says. But using you as a bargaining chip, he's covering his ass. He's a real wheeler-dealer that one. Did you know he's her oldest full blood son? He's our uncle."

  I was so confused at this point. "He has a different birthmark."

  "Isaiah's a freakin' chameleon. He can change anything about himself."

  "How do you know this?"

  "He and I had a very long talk at your house the other week."

  "He knew you were going to do go to the DR?"

  "Yes. Grandmother told him to help me."

  "He agreed to the murders?"

  "No. He was against that."

  I wanted to shake her until her teeth rattled so she'd open her eyes to the truth. "They're going to use you and then throw you away when they're done."

  "Do you think I'm not as powerful as you?"

  "Of course you are. It's just that...that they're lying to you about everything."

  "You think the fae don't lie? What happened to Will is normal. They all take blood. It's their dirty little secret."

  "Liam..."

  "He doesn't need to, but the full-bloods do. And it isn't pretty." She said the ritual words once more and suddenly our grandmother, the Bassilissa Naberia, appeared next to Bridgett.

  "Are you ready, Bridgett?" She looked surprised to see me there. "Jacqueline. Are you coming as well?"

  "That's the shifter blood, isn't it. It brought you here without an invitation. Bridgett doesn't know how to summon a demon."

  "Smart girl. Much smarter than your mother. She fought against her blood instead of embracing it. I don't mourn her and neither should either of you."

  "Did you kill her?"

  "Witnesses say it was a fae."

  "Or a demon disguised as a fae." She said nothing in response.

  "Jackie, come with me." Bridgett pleaded. "You and Charlie will be safe with us. You'll be away from the queen."

  "Yes, dear, come with us. The child will be loved dearly and both of you will be taught the ancient ways."

  I shuddered as I remembered what the queen had done to William. "I have few illusions about the creatures of Faerie or the Demon Realm. But if either of you attack Garrett or my friends, I'll find you and stop you."

  Bridgett shook her head sadly. "I don't want to have to kill you. Please, just stay out of it."

  A tear ran down my cheek. "Bridgett, can't we sit down and talk? Just the two of us?" I felt a sharp pain in my lower stomach, but ignored it, saying, "Please, for my sake."

  "The-fae-bitch-killed-my-mate. She opened his chest and let him bleed out while she drank from him. I can make him live again. When I'm ready, when I've been trained, I'm coming back to settle the score."

  "She'll lead my army across the veil. Adele would have been horrified." Grandmother laughed and I felt like throwing up.

  "It won't be William." I thought of Marie, a soulless shade with no hope for a truly happy future.

  There was a mad desperation in Bridgett's eyes. This was a girl who felt she'd lost everything and that only revenge would bring her peace. Soon the adrenaline flooding her system would be gone and she would crash, alone in a strange and dangerous place.

  Our grandmother was drinking in her anger like it was the finest wine.

  It was clear that I was too late and she was lost to me. Why hadn't I taken more time to talk to her? I should have forced her to tell me what was wrong. Why had I allowed her to spend an entire afternoon alone with Isaiah?

  I pleaded once more, "I love you, Bridgett. I need you. Please stay." I looked at the archdemon with a smoldering fury, terrified that she'd be torturing my sister the way Isaiah had tortured Kennet.

  The archdemon opened her eyes, amused by the terror she read in mine. "She will not be harmed. She has value to us. And she is of my blood, as are you."

  All of my energy seemed to leave me at once, and I only managed to whisper, "I won't allow you to hurt the people I love." I felt another sharp pain lower down in my stomach and worried that the nausea was back.

  "Bridgett..." I fell to my knees, clutching my stomach, conscious of a wetness between my thighs. The pain was getting much worse. "Oh god, the baby." I gasped and clutched the middle of my body, hoping to save my sweet son. "Help me."

  They watched me struggle with the pain and the fear, but made no move to help me. A few seconds later, I blacked out.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Later there were voices whispering worriedly and there was pain. Lots of pain. Physical and emotional. I smelled fae magic everywhere, especially in my bloodstream, where Lord Caelen had shared it with me intravenously. Garrett's hand grasped mine like a vice, and soft familiar lips kissed my sweaty forehead and my cheeks and my mouth. His voice broke through the chaos, telling me he loved me over and over and that he was proud of me.

  Liam said that I should try to push one more time. There was a sense of enormous relief when I heard a tiny cry.

  When I opened my eyes, it was afternoon and I was still in Faerie. My body was sore and my mind was fuzzy. I remembered Garrett and Liam and Lord Caelen seeing me through a difficult night and morning. I'd lost a lot of blood.

  "You're awake." Garrett was smiling so broadly that I thought his face would crack in half.

  "Charlie?"

  "He made his appearance this morning a few days early. Sinlae was right after all. He's perfect, mon ange."

  "Where is he?"

  "Sleeping. Right here." I turned to see a bassinette next to the bed, but the sides were a little too high for me to see over them.

  "I can't see him."

  "I'll prop you up so you can hold him." He lifted my upper body and then fluffed up the three pillows so I could sit. "Do you feel strong enough?"

  "Are you kidding? I was strong enough to give birth so I think I can handle this. Hand him over, just don't wake him up."

  "I'll be careful."

  A moment later I was holding a small warm lump, wrapped tightly in a soft blanket. I moved the cloth aside so I could see his face and as soon as I did, he opened his eyes and looked at me. He didn't cry or squirm or squint. We just stared at each other, both of us trapped completely in the other's spell.

  And in that brief moment, I felt as if my world had grown a thousand times richer and my heart had grown a thousand times more fragile.

  His eyes were lavender, his aura was golden with a hazy green edge and he smelle
d like fae magic, cheetah and vanilla. He had only peach-fuzzy hair, but he was still absolutely perfect.

  I whispered, afraid that I'd scare him. "I love you, Charlie. I'm your mom. This is your dad." I pulled Garrett over, but Charlie didn't take his eyes off of me. "Welcome to our family, little man."

  He pouted and wrinkled his brow, his face turning red.

  "He'll need to eat. He hasn't yet."

  "Oh. Okay. Okay, I can do this." I'd talked to my doctor about how this whole nursing thing worked, so I was willing to give it a shot. She'd already nursed three children, so I thought of her as an expert in the field. I looked down to see that I was wearing a nightgown which buttoned down the front. I started to unbutton it with one hand, but Garrett pushed my hand aside and took over.

  "What the heck? I'm huge."

  Garrett laughed. "You're full of milk. You look beautiful."

  "Ha. Your dream came true, huh?"

  His eyes glittered with mischief. "I'm a male, my love. This is a definite bonus. But Charlie has priority."

  "I should smack you." I laughed.

  "Perhaps a kiss instead?" Charlie was starting to make squeaky, fussy noises as he seemed to smell the milk.

  "Let me get him settled and then we'll see."

  It took me a minute to figure out how to position him and get him started sucking, but once he latched on, he had no trouble figuring out the rest. "Typical guy."

  Garrett laughed and leaned down to kiss me. I let him know with my lips that he was just as big a priority to me as Charlie was, even though my son would be taking up a lot of my time.

  "Je t'aime, Daddy."

  "Je t'aime, my sweet angel."

  I stroked his face, thinking about poor William and how Garrett must be affected. "Are you alright? Do Sasha and Heinrich know?"

  "I contacted them right after it happened. They felt his loss physically as well."

  "I'm so sorry."

  "Hard choices come with the job. But to do nothing, to just stand and watch the queen murder him and do nothing..." He shuddered. "We'll have a memorial ceremony for him when we get home."

  "Yes, of course."

  "Liam gave me a list of fae who want to visit. Sinlae shooed them all away and promised to contact them when you felt up to having visitors."

  Sinlae appeared next to the bed. "They will not enter until you say they may, Lady."

  "Who's on the list?"

  She rattled it off in her efficient way. "Lord Caelen, Lord Aedus, Lady Philladre, Lady Kellaine, Lord Farrell..."

  I suddenly remembered Bridgett. I had to tell the elders about Naberia. "Give me twenty minutes and then ask Lord Caelen to come in. I need to tell him something important."

  Garrett saw my worried look and asked, "What is it? Did something happen with Bridgett? No one seems to know where she is."

  "Do you mind waiting until Caelen is here? I'd rather not go over it twice."

  Although he was anxious about what I was going to say, he still managed to smile at me. "Whatever is easier for you. I'm sure you're exhausted...

  I was definitely that, and sore in obvious and not so obvious places, and overwhelmed with strange feelings that made me want to cry and giggle and sigh with contentment. I was furious with Bridgett, but also terrified for her. Part of me understood that it was only because Garrett was an ally that he hadn't been the victim of the queen. Who's to say, if he'd been ripped apart by that animal that I wouldn't have felt the same way?

  I watched my tiny son take nourishment from my body while my mate smiled at me with love and pride. He whispered loving words as he stroked my hair and held my hand, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. Time seemed to stop as I took in every detail, burning them into my heart, acutely aware of all that had led up to this moment.

  I'd never been a believer in destiny, always feeling that we made our own future through our own choices. But if I were to believe that fate existed, then the child in my arms was the reason why I was saved from those violent thugs by Garrett, given Liam's blade to defeat Antoine, taken by Kennet, saved from the explosion by Kaera. My son, this child of Fate, would grow up to be a warrior who would protect his people, and Garrett would always stand at his side in support the way he did for me.

  I made three pledges on that afternoon, private oaths that I held in my heart and my soul and would not ever share with anyone else.

  I would protect my son in any way available to me, making sure he received the best training possible so that he would survive what was to come.

  I would protect my mate in the same way, ensuring that he had the full strength he needed to survive and to protect our son.

  I would personally go after my grandmother, and if necessary, Bridgett, thereby protecting my family. And if Bridgett attacked them, I would kill her myself. She was my responsibility, after all.

  My body relaxed as the nursing endorphins kicked in. Once Charlie was finished and back in his bassinette, I had a chance to use the restroom, making myself slightly more presentable for my meeting with Lord Caelen. I got back into bed looking grim and Garrett took my hand again with a worried expression.

  When he entered, Lord Caelen was grinning widely, unaware of my serious news.

  "Congratulations to you both." He peeked into the tiny bed. "He is a handsome young male, and healthy too. Liam says that he is a few ounces lighter than he would have been had he stayed in the womb for the entire twelve weeks, but other than that, he is perfect."

  "Thank you for your help with the delivery."

  One look at me and he knew something was up. "Tell me."

  "Something horrible has happened, Lord Caelen."

  "I'm very sorry about William. The queen is harsh and cruel. We're all curious as to why you were alone in that clearing. It was dangerous for you to disappear like that."

  "Bridgett's left Faerie, allying herself with our grandmother. She wants revenge for what happened and she looks at all the fae as her enemies now. She says she's going to learn how to bring William back and then she's going after the queen and any of you she holds responsible. She'll be taught the Dark Arts and I'm afraid she'll bring others back with her. Maybe an army."

  He was quiet for several long moments. "I have alerted the elders. We will convene a meeting to discuss this news. Jacqueline, I must be honest. Bridgett has broken her agreement and is now considered our enemy. I'm sorry."

  I nodded, biting my lip to hold back my tears. Garrett said anxiously. "Lord Caelen, perhaps we could speak of this later. Jackie's very tired."

  I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "I'm fine, sir knight." To Caelen, I said, "I understand. If she comes back to cause trouble, I'll have to kill her..."

  "No one would expect you to do that."

  "She told me that she'll kill me and Garrett if we don't remain neutral, but I'm your ally. So many of you are my friends."

  "If you remain truly neutral, then we would not hold it against you. You must protect yourself and your son, until he comes into his powers."

  "She'll try to kill Garrett, because he'll fight beside you."

  He turned to my mate. "We could excuse you from your obligation, as long as you remained completely neutral as well."

  Torn between his desire to protect me and Charlie and his hard won alliance with the fae, Garrett took in a long breath of my scent and then looked at Caelen with a pained expression. "If the time comes, I will ask to be excused from my alliance so that I can protect my family. We will stay out of all related conflicts. However, I'll still send my remaining nest to act in my place. And I'm sure that Francois will..."

  "Garrett, this isn't who we are. We'll support them as they've supported us. Charlie is half fae. These are his people too."

  "Bridgett's your family."

  I bit my lip, shocked to taste blood in my mouth. I remembered how I'd fallen to the ground, bleeding in front of her, and she'd shown no concern. "Bridgett's made her choice. And because of our connection, I'll be able to find her like she was
able to find me."

  I'd allowed Caelen to listen in and he'd watched quietly as Garrett nodded in agreement.

  "When the battle begins, I'll need my sons beside me, but I'll ask Kaera and Brina to stand with you. Would that be acceptable?"

  "I don't think they'll be happy, but thank you."

  "It may be years off..."

  "Or months."

  "He'll be well protected." Lord Caelen smiled as he took one last look at our tiny son. "May I send in Liam and Aedus?"

  "Philladre and Kellaine too, please."

  "Of course. I'll let them know later what's happened. You don't have to discuss it with them now. Now you should enjoy this small miracle."

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  They were so excited to see little Charlie, the girls chatting about how handsome he was and Liam and Aedus already discussing his training with Garrett. They'd planned a special ceremony for tomorrow, where he'd be officially named by us, but also given an ancient fae name, something every fae possessed but rarely used. I was told by Philladre that it was a link to their magic, kind of a password that, in combination with their unique soul, gave them the ability to exchange energy with the lines. I asked Liam what his was, but when he said only the first part out loud, it just sounded like a lot of mumbled consonants and other odd sounds. When I tried to say it back to them, they all laughed.

  "Please try to come up with a name for Charlie that I can pronounce."

  "A True Name has great power in the wrong hands. It's safer to call him Charlie." Kellie said.

  "Who chooses the name?"

  Aedus explained. "Three drops of his blood are combined with water from a special spring and spread on the page of an ancient tome we use for this purpose. The pages are infused with magic and his True Name appears and is spoken once and only once by my father, who is the most senior elder. Then it disappears from the page and is never spoken again. Those of us present at the ceremony will remember it, and Charlie will know it when he comes into his full powers."

  I glanced down at my sleeping son. "When does that happen?"

  "Around puberty."