She gets up, walks to the bar, and, pours herself a whisky. “You might not have that luxury. This is a long flight, and you can only hide out in here for so long. She is sleeping right now, so you have some time. When she wakes, I think we should tell her together. If you try to wait, her mind will run rampant, which could be even worse for her health.”
I close my eyes, trying so hard to keep the fear at bay—sometimes, it’s a losing battle. I get up and pour myself a whisky, feeling the burn as it goes down. My grip on the glass is so tight, I’m afraid it might shatter in my hand. I feel her hand on my shoulder and I nearly jump out of my skin. She squeezes my shoulder even tighter. I know she can help, but it’s not easy for me to share my fear with anyone but An.
“I know what you’ve been through; let me handle some of this. Please, Mick, it’s what I do best. What are you not telling me?”
“I haven’t heard from Max since they left the hospital, no one has. He had a reservation at a hotel downtown but he never checked in. They are probably lying low due to the press, but I just wish he would check in.”
She takes out her phone and sends a text. “Ma’am, he hasn’t answered my texts, believe me I’ve tried.”
Just then, her phone begins to ring. “Maxwell, where are you and is everyone safe? I know about Sammy and Rose.” She listens and then hangs up without even a goodbye.
“They are at their New York flats. He said they are resting as best they can and he will call you later.”
I feel the tension release from my body and wipe the sweat from my brow. “I have to ask you how on earth did you get him to respond to you so quickly when no one else can?”
She takes another sip of her whisky. “Maxwell’s first wife, Samantha, was my niece. We were always very close and, after her death, we remained very close. He gave me a word and told me whenever I need him right away, no matter what time of day or night, all I had to do was get that word to him. Page, text, voice mail, email—anyway possible, and he would always find me.”
“Wow, and to think, we all thought he was afraid of you.”
She chuckles, “Oh he is, and you might keep that in mind. I’m going to get some rest before An wakes up. Unless you need me for something else?”
“No, ma’am, and thank you.”
I feel a little bit better that I know where everyone is and I won’t have to tell An by myself. I only hope that everyone doesn’t have to stay in New York too long.
WE LAND IN NEW York and head right down to my place. I’m not sure Raven will want to go next door; there is so much of Rose everywhere. Jax lifts her up and carries her to their flat anyhow. My phone beeps with a text from Mrs. Osla; one word—Piglet. My heart stops. That’s our word for immediate contact. I should have contacted her so she wouldn’t worry. I quickly call her to make sure she is okay, and assure her I will call her later. Right now, I need to take care of my wife. I gently lift her and carry her to our bedroom. I need to get her clothes off; they still have blood on them. I quickly set up the tub for a soak and begin undressing her. I want to burn these clothes so she never has to look at them again. The huge tub is finally full, and I hold her in my arms as we slowly sink in. The hot water warms her and she slowly stops shivering but she is vigorously wiping her hands. I take them in mine and kiss them. “Babe, there is no blood, I promise. It’s gone.”
I hold her close so she can feel safe and she begins to sob. My heart is breaking for her—hell—for all of us. Neither of us say a word, we don’t have to. I’m not sure how much time has passed, but the water is getting cold and her fingers are pruned. “Babe, let’s try and get some sleep. We have some long, emotional days ahead of us.”
“When can we leave? There are so many arrangements that have to be made and Sammy’s partner, Ian, needs to be told,” Her voice trails off and she’s crying again.
“I will talk to your father and see how he would like to handle it. This is not something one should hear over the phone. Besides, Sammy was active MI6 and there are certain protocols that need to be followed. Right now, let’s try to get some sleep.”
When we get into bed, I tuck the blanket tightly around us, just like she does every night. We lie there in silence. Finally, she begins to drift off to sleep. I can only pray it will be a restful one for her.
RAVEN IS IN SHOCK and I’m numb from everything that went down. I need to get her out of these clothes; they are stained with blood—her mother’s blood. She sits on the edge of the bed and allows me to take care of her. It’s what I do best, what I’ve always done. I need to do this and she needs me to do this for her. I put her in one of my shirts, knowing that she will find comfort from it. I climb into bed and wrap my arms and legs around her. As I gently stroke her back, I keep reminding her that I love her and need her . . . our daughter needs her. She finally falls asleep. It’s only then that it really hits me; Rose will never see Antonia grow up. My daughter may not remember her, but I will make sure she knows how much she loved her. The sacrifice that she made so Antonia would have a mum and a dad. I can’t fall apart, my family needs me, and they need my strength. I close my eyes and drift off, praying I can be strong.
The constant rattling awakens me and I realize it’s my phone, bouncing on the night stand. I grab it, trying not to wake Raven.
“Hello.”
“Hey, Jax, sorry to wake you so early.”
My brain is not really functioning. “Matthew?”
“Yeah, like I said, sorry to wake you, but I pulled some strings. The bodies are being released today. They will be delivered to the hanger at Teeterborough by noon today. All the arrangements have been made. Make sure you inform your pilots.”
“Thank you, man. How the hell did you get this pulled off so quickly?”
“Well, Sammy was MI6, so I went to them and they want this wrapped up just a quickly as you do. They were able to pull some strings with The State Department.”
“Thank you. The sooner we get out of here, the happier I will be. Will we have to come back here for anything?”
“I don’t think so. I have everything I need to execute Rose’s will, and Hage should be able to wrap everything up without you.”
“Okay, I will let Max know what’s going on, thanks.”
I’m about to call Max when Raven begins to whimper in her sleep. All I can do is hold her tighter to me. “Shh, I’ve got you, sweetheart, and I always will.” She finally falls back to sleep. I wiggle out from under her, being careful not to wake her. We’ve got two hours before we need to head to the airport and I’ve got calls to make.
I walk into the living room and take a minute to watch the sun rising over the city. Reflecting can be like a piece of wood. Run your finger with the grain and it’s silky, almost soft. Run your fingers against the grain and it can be rough and painful. So much like life, itself. Time moves on whether we want it to or not. I have to put all of that aside and concentrate on my family and what they need now. I grab my phone and call Mick.
He answers on the first ring. I’m sure the added stress is taking a toll on him, too. “Hey, Mick, how is everyone?”
“I’m glad you checked in, Jax. I’m sorry about Rose and Sammy.”
“Thanks, what’s your status?” I need to keep my mind focused on business.
“I told Mrs. Osla, she really didn’t give me a choice. I was going to wait till we got to Mr. Gerhard’s house to tell your mom, but I don’t think she will wait. Antonia is fine, she only woke up once and Bella took care of her.”
“Mick, get my mum, Skype me, and I will tell her. She will take this better coming from me.”
“Okay, give me ten minutes and then call me back.”
While he takes care of that, I put a call into my pilots and inform them of our plans. I want to have wheels up as soon as possible. I would like to have Max with me when I tell Mum but I’m not leaving Raven, and I don’t expect him to leave Jackie. I take a few deep breaths and dial, the screen comes to life and it’s Bella.
“Mrs. Osla went to get Mum. Mick told me everything; He wanted to make sure I try to keep it together for Mum when you tell her. I’m so sorry. She was a great friend to all of us. Hell, she probably saved my son’s life. Raven must be destroyed, she just got her back in her life and now she has to mourn her all over again.” Before I can answer, Mrs. Osla arrives with Mum.
“Hey, Mum, how are you feeling?” Oh no, I’m getting the look. Damn, I’m so busted.
“Jaxson, please stop worrying about my health and tell me what everyone is trying to hide from me.”
“Mum, there was a confrontation with Vincent and Ms. Jade. Vincent tried to shoot Jackie but Sammy was shot. Rose tried to help him, but he didn’t make it. She picked up Sammy’s gun and she killed Vincent. We thought it was over, but Ms. Jade pulled a gun. Raven tried to talk her down—to explain—but she was hell bent on making Raven pay. Her plan was to go after Antonia, but since that failed, she was going to shoot me. Rose stepped in front of me and she was shot. Mum . . . Rose didn’t make it.”
“Oh, son, I’m so very sorry. She was such a wonderful lady. She saved my family and I will forever be grateful for that. How are the girls holding up?”
“They’re destroyed, Mum. The feeling that someone sacrificed their life so you could live is overwhelming.”
“What about Maxwell? I know him and he is probably blaming himself.” I didn’t even think that.
“Why would he blame himself? He did all he could possibly do, Mum.”
“Why? Because that’s Maxwell; he thinks he can save the world and that he’s invincible. He will always think he should have done more.” She shakes her head and pushes away a few whispers of hair that have fallen out of place. “When are you coming home?”
“We will be leaving in a few hours. How is Junior? I don’t think we should tell him just yet.”
“He’s fine, but tired. I think when we land we should get him to the clinic right away. There will be plenty of time to tell him what happened. Let him concentrate on getting better.”
“Okay, I need to get going. I love you, Mum.”
“I love you too. Safe travels.”
I hang up and take a moment for myself. “I will love them and protect them with all that I am, Rose,” I say softly as if she could hear me.
“She knows, Jax.” I nearly leap out of my own skin.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t even hear you.”
“I know. What’s the plan?”
“I need to call Max, and then we have to be at the airport in two hours. Matthew worked his magic and got them to release your mum and Sammy. I spoke to Mum, and Antonia is fine. Everyone knows, except Junior. I think it’s best to wait and tell him later. Max is the executor of your mum’s will and Matthew said we don’t need to be there to execute it. If I’m overstepping the line, please tell me. I just want to help.” I’ve never had to deal with anything like this; all I can do is take my cues from her.
“You are fine, Jax, it’s what I need right now. Besides, I don’t even know what her wishes were. I did know she wanted Max as the executor. I was one of her witnesses when it was notarized. She said she didn’t want to burden me. I never wanted to think about it. I always thought we would have more time.” That thought hits home. Time is a precious commodity that we fight so hard for, but always seems to slide through our fingers like grains of sand.
“Max told me her wishes, and we will make sure they are followed. She was an amazing woman, and I’m lucky to have known her.” I hug her, not sure if I’m trying to comfort her or myself.
“While you call Max, I’m going to have a long, hot shower. Join me when you’re done.”
I call Max and it goes to voicemail, so I leave him an update. I head off to the shower to join my wife.
“I WOULD LIKE TO get some rest before we land,” I announce before I get up and head into one of the cabins to be alone. It’s only then, in the privacy of my cabin, that I let myself feel. I know everyone is worried about my health, but I don’t need to be sheltered. The thought that I will never see my friend again is overwhelming. “Oh, Rose, we will meet again, my friend. I could never repay you for saving my family, but I promise you, I will find a way. Your death will not be in vain. This world will know what a beautiful and wonderful person you were.” I curl in a ball and, in the privacy of my own world, let my tears fall.
I WATCH JACKIE SLEEP and it’s very restless. When I look at my phone to check the time, I notice I have a voicemail from Jax. I hit the message and put it up to my ear to listen as I turn away from Jackie. Thank God . . . Matthew was able to pull some strings. The further we are away from all of this, the happier I will be. As many enemies as Vincent had, he had just as many friends. I never want to come near the States again, but we will have to come back one more time to execute Rose’s will. After that, I’m done here. I slowly stroke Jackie’s cheek, trying to gently wake her. Her eye’s flutter open and she pulls me tightly against her.
“Max? Oh thank God you’re safe! Please don’t leave m-me.”
“Shh, babe, I’m here. I’ll always be here. Matthew was able to get Sammy and Rose released. We’re leaving for the airport soon; we need to get ready. I never had the flat packed up, so I’m sure you have some clothes here. I want to check in with Mick before we leave.” Her arms are tightly around me and she’s not letting go.
“The sooner we get to the airport, the sooner we can get home. I promise you, I’m not leaving your side.”
“I’m s-sorry, Max, it’s just so much . . .”
“Hey, don’t be sorry. You’ve been through a lot. It’s okay to be scared. I would worry more if you weren’t. Come on, I’ll get ready with you, and then I can call Mick.”
“Thank you.” She tenderly kisses me and I feel the tightness in her body relax.
We silently go about getting ready which doesn’t take too long. I wish I knew what to do for her . . . to help her.
“Would you like some tea while I call Mick?”
“If only tea could solve everything, Max. Make your call; I’m fine.”
I kiss her and head out to make my call.
I SIT AT THE vanity and begin side-braiding my hair. I know Max likes it this way. My thoughts are all over the place. I can’t believe Sammy is dead because of me. I know Max would say otherwise, but he died protecting me. How do I live with that? How do I face Ian and try to explain what happened? My thoughts stray to Rose and I feel my heart in my throat. She was like a mom to me, giving me hope and the strength to face my fears. I know Raven will go on; she’s the strongest person I’ve ever met, but it will be hard. “Ah!” I gasp, remembering how much Michael loves to explore with Rose. “I promise you, Rose, I will never let him forget you.” I look in the mirror and find Max in the doorway. “How long have you been there?”
He doesn’t say a word, only opening his arms for me. I get up and head right into them, my home, my sanctuary. “I love you.”
“I love you and I know we will get through this. We will be strong for each other.”
“Did you get in touch with Mick?”
“Yes, no worries, everyone is fine. Jax told An via Skype. They opted not to tell Junior right away. Let him get settled in at the clinic and continue his treatment. When we are all together, then we will tell him. I also put a call into your dad to let him know you are safe. Mick had already contacted him and made all the arrangements. I called the chief and requested that they let your dad and I tell Ian.”
“I would like to be there when you do.”
She looks down, averting her eyes away from mine. “I figured you would. Jackie, look at me please.” I lift her chin, so I can see her face. “None of this was your fault. I know you and you’re acting like you are to blame. Sammy’s job was to protect you. That’s what he was trained to do. It’s sad—very sad—that he lost his life at the
hands of a madman, but he knew what he was signing up for when he took the job.”
“That sounds so cold and harsh.”
“Yes, to you, it does. But to someone like me, it’s the only way to survive. When I did protection detail, I had to leave my heart out of it. If not, I would have made mistakes. That’s why I agreed to have Sammy come on board.”
“Can I ask you a hard question?”
“Of course, you can ask me anything.”
“After everything that went down, doesn’t it make you question our decision to have children? After all the loss you have suffered, and the continued craziness that always seems to surround us, do you really feel that bringing a child into this world is such a great idea?” His jaw ticks with tension.
“If every good person in the world thought like that, there would never be a balance. Am I scared? Oh bloody hell, yeah. Will I let that fear rule me? Never again, Jackie, never. That fear almost cost me you. You’re the one who taught me to fight to live life and not live to die. If we give up, then evil will win. I know it’s not that simple. And I know we will have hard times, but I know together, we can make a difference. I will fight for us until my last breath.”
I wrap my hands around his collar, pulling him closer to me. “I’m going to tell you this only one time. You will never, in my lifetime, do any of this cloak and dagger type of work again. So help me, Maxwell Fleming, if I have to tie you to a chair to stop you, I will!”
“Oh, now that could be very interesting, babe. Maybe when we get home I can teach you some rope tricks.”
“Ah, Max, you are such a sex feign. Let’s go get Jax and Raven. I want to go home.”
We head out into the living room where Jax and Raven are already waiting. As lost and hurt as I feel, I realize that Raven must feel ten times worse. She has to mourn her mom all over again. “Max, why don’t you and Jax give us a few minutes, please.”
“Come on, Jax, I want to hear what happened when you told Mum.”
Shattered Lies Page 24