“Thank you, Emi. And thank you for all you have done for her.”
I lean down to kiss her little hands and breath in her sent. It’s sweet and all her. “Oh, my beautiful baby girl. So much has happened and, through it all, you still go on, we all do. Your grandmother gave her life so you could be happy. Live it to the fullest, and be all that you can be—the best of the best.”
I watch Emi leave as I take a seat with my daughter securely in my arms. I let myself feel all the emotions and the fears that I’ve been keeping bottled up deep inside of me. I rock my daughter and let my tears wash over every thought.
I don’t know how much time has passed. Antonia is fast asleep and everyone has kept their distance. I’m grateful for that. I needed the stillness that comes with the quite.
Jackie and Max were going to see Ian today. I know I should go with them, but a part of me feels like I’m to blame. I know I’m not responsible for Sammy’s death, but I can’t stop what I’m feeling, I don’t know how. I keep running through the events on that roof over and over again. My mom new that Vincent withheld my grandfather’s medicine until there was no hope. She understood, better than anyone, the depths of his hatred and jealousy for his whole family. So many lives lost at the hands of a madman.
By tomorrow night, I’m sure we will be off to Capri; another huge emotional hurdle to deal with. I wish we could have found a donor and avoided the entire thing, but no luck, so far. We might go through all of this for nothing; James might not even be a match. As a parent, I understand why we must go. But it doesn’t make it any easier.
I get up and put Antonia in her crib. She needs to rest and I need to put away my fears and emotions; my family needs me now. I lean down and kiss her little cheeks. “Watch over her Mom and Dad, be her angels. I love you.”
MAX AND PAPA ARE waiting for me, but I needed a few minutes alone. Time to gather up my courage to see Ian. How do I face him? How can I make him understand when I don’t understand myself? I have to be strong. Sammy would want me to be strong for Ian. I wipe away my tears and open the door, only to find Max sitting on the floor.
“What are you doing on the floor?”
“I didn’t want to bother you, but I wanted to be here for you.”
I reach down, take his hand, and pull him up off the floor. “I know that you are my strength when I need it; always there for me, no matter what. I will always be here for you, too, Max. Now, let’s go find Papa; we need to get going.”
“We will be okay; one day at a time.”
We head into the drawing room and find my father and Dylan in a heated discussion.
I feel Max’s grip around my waist tighten. “Max, please let me go. I’m asking you to remain calm and let me handle my brother.”
He lets me go of me but remains at my side. “Dylan, why are you here? What are you two arguing about?”
“Why the hell wouldn’t I be here? You’re not that naive to think that none of this is your fault.”
“How is it my fault, Dylan? Sammy was doing his job—the same job he has done for the last ten years.”
“It’s your fault because you put yourself in danger. You brought all this on yourself by hooking up with him. I warned you, but you were too blinded by lust to think about anyone but you.”
I snap. I smack Dylan so hard across the face, that I’ve left a handprint. In my whole life, I have never hit another person—ever. “Don’t you ever talk about my husband ever again. You are being judgmental about me and my decisions. You’re upset because I’ve decided to live my life and not sit on the sidelines. Sammy was doing his job, a job he was proud to do. I will not have you taint it. Get out of my life, stay away from me and my family.” I feel myself beginning to shake uncontrollably and then I hear Raven behind me yell at Dylan.
“Leave her alone, Dylan!”
“You can’t make me stay away from my sister. I’m entitled to my opinion. This nightmare began with you. Maybe you need to step up to the plate and take some responsibility for the bloodshed,” he barks back at Raven.
Raven turns pale as Papa steps between them. “I think you’ve said enough, son. You gave your opinion, now put it to bed. We need to move forward. We have guests and they will be remaining here with us until young Michael’s treatment is done. Now, we need to get going.”
“We won’t be staying here.” All of us turn to find Jax in the doorway.
“Dylan, out of respect for your parents and your sister, I have put up with your bullshit, but you just crossed the line. You’ve done nothing but talk out of your arse the entire time I’ve known you. Jeff, we will be moving out tomorrow. I appreciate your help and your hospitality, but my family’s safety and well-being is my top priority. You and Emi are always welcome to my home. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my wife and I have a lot to discuss.”
“This isn’t over, Jax, you can’t just dismiss me like some servant. If I want to see my sister, I will. You can’t stop me—no one can.”
Jax stops and looks back over his shoulder towards Dylan. “Watch me!”
I’m holding onto Max, trying to keep him calm. Jax totally ignores anything else Dylan is saying.
“Max, while you and Jackie go talk to Ian, Raven and I will be getting everything firmed up on this end.” Their eyes lock and then he excuses himself, taking Raven’s hand and walking out.
“Papa, are you coming?” I ask.
He looks at Dylan and then back to me. “Tell Ian that Mom and I will be by tomorrow.” I feel like a little child again, being dismissed. I hated it then, and I hate it even more now.
We head out to the car and Max is very quiet . . . too quiet. We get in the car and I tell the driver where to take us. “Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?”
“Honestly, I have no idea. One minute your brother is flipping out on us. The next minute, Jax is cueing me to shut up and get out.”
Before I can ask any more questions, he gets a text. He allows me to lean over and read it with him.
Jax: Pay your condolences and then get back here. Say nothing. I’m making other arrangements now.
Max: Call Tony; he can handle it all.
Jax: Done.
“Now are you going to tell me what is going on?” I slap his knee.
“I really don’t know anything.”
I’m not going to fight with him over this. I need to mentally prepare myself on what I’m going to tell Ian. We pull up to Ian’s and I can tell from the surprised look on Max’s face, it’s not what he was expecting. “Ian’s parents left it to him. Sammy enjoyed doing all the renovations himself. Ian, on the other hand, wouldn’t know which end of the hammer did what.”
“The grounds are impeccable, who takes care of them?”
“Ian does all that. He finds it very relaxing. When I first moved to the States, Ian came over with Sammy and helped decorate my flat. The week after he left, I killed the plant. He never lets me forget it.”
Before he can ask me anything else, Ian comes flying out the door. He grabs me, hugs me, and then pulls away, his eyes on mine. He begins to cry, I don’t need to say a word.
“Let’s go inside, please. Jackie, I need to hear it all.”
We head in the door and Ian leads us right into the kitchen. That’s his comfort zone. “Ian, this is my husband, Maxwell.”
Max places a hand on his shoulder try to offer him comfort. “Sorry to meet you under these circumstances. I’m sorry for your loss; Sammy was a good guy.”
Ian grabs onto the counter for support, and I wipe away his tears. “Were you with him when it happened? Oh what a stupid question, of course you were, tell me what happened? I need to hear it all.”
“He jumped in front of someone that tried to shoot me. Raven’s mom tried to save him but she couldn’t. In the end she was also shot and killed.”
He begins to sway on his feet and Max tries to steady him. “Please, why don’t we sit down?” He guides him to a chair.
“How is Raven?
Is she going to be okay?”
“It’s going to be very hard on her; she just got her mom back into her life only to lose her again.”
“Did my Sam suffer? Was it quick?” He puts his head in his hands and cries. Max grabs some tissues off the counter, clearly not knowing what to do to help Ian.
“It was very quick. I held him, Ian. He wasn’t alone.”
He stops crying and lifts his head. He offers me a tissue. “I hope you’re not blaming yourself for any this. Just like the last time, Jackie, it wasn’t your fault.”
Max sits down next to me and squeezes my hand, “Last time?”
“When Sammy first became my guard, he didn’t know how to ride. I was jumping and competing, I was being very stubborn at the time and I refused to change my routine. He thought it was no big deal; just get on the horse and go. Needless to say, he fell off and broke his leg. In the end, I changed my routine so I could stay here to look after him.”
“You should have seen him giving her a hard time and ordering her around. But she got even with him. As soon as the doctor said he was okay, she put him right back on that horse.”
Ian takes my hand, “Oh, Jackie, I always knew this day would come. I worried every time he stepped out that door. He would tease me, always saying he would outlive m-me. I don’t even know where to begin. I want to see him, Jackie. Please, I need to.”
I get up, go to the fridge, and grab a couple of bottles of water. I don’t know how to answer him. Max takes one of the bottles and hands it to Ian. “My attorney has already contacted MI6 on your behalf, letting them know that he will be handling everything so you won’t have to. I can set up a viewing and I will go with you.”
“Thank you. You’re very kind.”
We get up to leave and Max stops. “Ian, I would like to do something to honor him, if it would be okay with you. Think about what you would feel comfortable with and let me know.”
We make our goodbyes and head out, promising to keep in touch. We head toward home; both of us are very quiet.
“Max, we need to create a project for Ian. He is going to be very lost without Sammy. I can’t leave him all alone in that huge home. We need to come up with something.”
“Well, we are not going to be leaving the area for the next three years, so how about some sort of garden sanctuary. It could be set up like a memorial garden for Sammy.”
“That might work. I’ll talk to him when we get back from Capri. Don’t even think of telling me we’re not going.”
The quiet that envelops us is extremely deafening.
RAVEN AND I HEAD upstairs and into Antonia’s room. While Raven is tending to the baby, I send a quick text to Max letting him know to keep his mouth shut. Next, I shoot one off to Tony.
Jax: Are my text messages secure?
Tony: Yes, they are encrypted to the outside world. Is there a problem?
Jax: Maybe. We are at the Gerhard compound. I’m uncomfortable with the situation here. That wanker, Dylan Gerhard, is here and causing trouble. I need a safe place near the clinic for the family. We need to head out to Capri, can’t leave until I know the family is safe.
Tony: Stay calm and don’t use your tablets. If you have to, use the new iPhones I gave you. They have enhanced security in place. I will take care of everything on my end.
Now we wait, something I’ve never been good at. I don’t trust Dylan and knowing that he would have unfettered access to my child—never gonna happen. I watch Raven playing with Antonia and I wish all our days could be like this very moment. “Sweetheart, I want the baby to sleep in our room tonight.” She doesn’t question me. She knows I need to feel like my family is safe. My phone vibrates with a group text to Max and me.
Tony: I have secured a place near the clinic. The information will only be sent to your phone. I have a friend in Geneva who is headed to the new place now. He will have everything wired up before morning. I ordered all the stuff you requested and had it sent overnight to the clinic. I also threw in some new stuff that just came out. I’m sure he will be very excited. All new electronics will be waiting at the new place. Have the old ones shipped to me; don’t leave them behind.
Jax: Thank you. Have you informed Mrs. Osla?
Tony: No, I’m not telling her. You or Max can tell her.
Max: Jax can tell her. :)
Jax: Max, where are you?
Max: Just pulling up now. I’ll meet you upstairs.
I hand my phone to Raven, so she can read what is going on while I lie on the floor and play with the baby.
“Jax, do you really feel this way?” Before I can answer, Jackie comes storming in.
“Jax, do you seriously think my brother would hurt us? I get he’s an ass, but he would never lay a hand on any of us.”
“Jackie, you are probably right, however, I just can’t take a chance. I can’t leave for Capri and not feel like my family is safe. If your parents want to come over and visit with you and the baby, I would never stop them. Your brother, well, that’s another story.”
My phone beeps with an urgent message from Tony.
Tony: Not sure if this will matter to you or not, but Dylan is in financial trouble. He has closed up his shop in Japan. He is in debt to some nasty men. Mr. Gerhard is giving his son money. You know desperate men do desperate things. Stay safe.
I hand Jackie my phone. “Maybe you should read this.”
“How could this be? Can I confront Dylan and Papa?”
“I would rather you wait until we are back from Capri.”
She hands me back my phone and I know this has hit her hard. She always sees the good in people. “I’m sorry, Jackie, I don’t know what to believe anymore.”
“My head is spinning. I need some food and sleep. I promise I won’t confront them.”
“Well, I, for one, am going to take my daughter downstairs and make myself something to eat.” All heads turn toward my wife and I start laughing. Maybe it’s the stress, but the thought of her in the kitchen makes me lose it. Jackie is trying not to laugh and Max is laughing so hard, he’s crying.
“Oh come on. People! I’m not that hopeless in the kitchen.”
As I guide her out the door, I can hear Max tell Jackie it would be a bloody cold day in hell before he eats a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I would pay big bucks to see that, but right now I have to talk to Mrs. Osla, since everyone is afraid of her.
“I will meet everyone in the kitchen. I want to talk to Mrs. Osla before she turns in for the night.”
I find Mrs. Osla in the sitting room, by the fire. She is working on her needlepoint; bless her and her patience. “Mrs. Osla, I need to speak to you about some things.”
“Pull up a seat and tell me what’s troubling you.”
I show her the text messages and when she reads the one about Dylan’s financial situation, she takes a deep breath and her eyes are wide.
“Lad, let me work with Tony. I promise not to scare him too much.”
She takes my phone, pulls up notes, and then proceeds to type away. I lean over, watching as she does so.
Don’t speak about any of this in this house, it could be wired. If Mr. Gerhard is as security conscious as he seems, then it wouldn’t surprise me. Tomorrow we leave to go see young Michael, and we don’t come back. Anything we need, I can make arrangements for.
I nod. “So how is my mum feeling? She took Rose’s death very hard.”
“We all did. But she seems to be gaining her strength back a little bit every day. Have you decided what type of arrangements you are going to make? I could handle them for you, if you would like.”
“Max is the executor of her will but she had everything already planned out. She never wanted to burden Raven with anything. Matthew will handle it all.”
“What about you? How are you dealing with everything?”
“I’m dealing. It’s not like I have a choice. I have a family that is counting on me. I have to be the strong one. I still need to get to Capri and deal
with that whole nightmare.”
“So, you are going? What about Maxwell?” She is mindlessly playing with the strings of her needlepoint.
“I tried to go it alone, but we almost came to blows over it. Raven and Jackie stepped in and now the four of us are going. We don’t even know if he’s going to be a match. I wish they would let me go alone, but they are all so stubborn.”
“Ha, yeah look who’s calling the kettle black. Do you want me to try and talk to Maxwell?”
“No, he won’t listen and then he will get mad at me for having you talk to him. I’m in a no-win situation here.”
“I would offer to handle James for you, but I fear I would be worse than Maxwell, if put in that situation. What if he refuses to be tested, have you thought about that? Not everyone is willing to do this, and—let’s face it—we already know he has no conscience.”
“Sometimes in life, Mrs. Osla, we don’t have a choice.”
“So be it. What time would you like us all ready tomorrow?”
“Right after breakfast. Now I need to find my wife, she was headed to the kitchen acting as if she could cook us something.”
She makes the sign of the cross, “Lord, have mercy. You better go rescue everyone.”
I laugh as I head out the door in search of my wife.
I HAVE NO IDEA why everyone thinks I will poison them. I take Jackie’s hand, “Come on, we can do this.”
“Have you lost your mind? I can make coffee and a salad.”
“I know, but Max is such a good cook, surely you learned something being in the kitchen with him all the time.”
She turns fifty shades of red. “Okay, never mind; I don’t think I want to know what you’ve learned in the kitchen.”
Max hands me Antonia, “How about you and Jackie play with my beautiful niece while Jax and I make dinner?”
Jax comes in just at the right time. “Okay, hit me, mate, what are we cooking?”
We let them get started while we play with the baby. Jackie takes Antonia while I set the table. “Raven, are you ready for Capri? I want all of this to be over with, so we can get on with our lives. I want Michael to get better, so we can get back to Scotland. I love it there. I don’t think I ever want to leave the castle. What about you, are you ready?”
Shattered Lies Page 27