He gets up and his jeans are around his knees. I don’t give him a chance to even get them off. I jump into his arms and wrap my legs around his waist. In one swift move, he’s inside me. He’s pounding into me, it’s—hard and fast, love and lust—a release beyond compare. He tilts his head back, and I know that he’s close. The most beautiful sight in the world—his unraveling within me. “Yes, Jax!”
“Show me. Oh God, Raven. Violet to blue . . . yes!”
He falls to his knees and lays me down, slowly working us down. I finally catch my breath, but he’s not stopping. “Jax?”
“Never enough, sweetheart.”
He’s taking is time, kissing my neck and moving his hips in and out. I’m clenching and he begins to do that swivel thing I love. I’m there and I want him to feel my release, like I can feel his. I drag my nails over his nipples and that’s his undoing. That’s my tipping point. I reach up and kiss him and then everything I’ve kept bottled up inside me rises to the surface. I start to shake and cry. I can’t seem to catch my breath. He wipes away my tears and gently kisses me.
“You’re okay, sweetheart. I’ve got you, I always will.”
“MAX, DID YOU REALLY think either one of you would go to see James without us?” I ask him as I undress. He opens his mouth about to answer but I hold up my hand. “Wait. Don’t even answer that, because in some strange part of your brain, I really think you believed you would go it alone. Maybe I should just chalk it up to the after effects of being shot in the head. You know, the more I think about it, the more pissed off I’m getting. Let me tell you something, Maxwell Fleming, we are part of a large family. We work together or not at all. Your days of going off half-cocked, on your own, are over! We all have a say in what goes on. That’s what a family does, so you better learn to start playing by the rules.”
He’s leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and his feet crossed at the ankles. He’s got a smirk on his face and damn I feel my heart flutter. “Well, are you going to say anything?”
“I was waiting until you were done, babe. First, I have to say right now, while you’re getting all pissed off, I’m getting turn-on—it’s hot. Second, I don’t want anyone in danger and, no matter what happens, I will always be over-the-top protective with everyone. Lastly, you standing there, in nothing but your knickers, is driving me crazy. Come here now, but leave the braid. Fucking sexy as hell.”
I step up to him and begin to slowly undress him, starting with his shirt. When I trail my fingers over his nipples, he takes a few deep steadying breaths. His eyes are watching my every move, but he’s not touching me. I undo his jeans and slowly slide them down, taking his hipsters with them. He steps out of them and I remain on my knees. I keep my eyes cast downward, knowing how much he loves it. I don’t want to look up; if I do, it will be over before we start. My fingertips are gliding up and down his legs. I reach for his cock and rub my thumb over the tip. I can hear his breathing become rapid. The heat coming off of his body is unreal. I slowly trail my tongue up his cock and then take him in my mouth. At first, I give a little tease with my tongue swirling gently around the head. I glance up and notice his eyes have darkened. I quickly look back down.
“Take me deeper, Jackie . . . please.” I relax my muscles and give him what he wants. I might be on my knees right now, but I hold all the power. It’s heady to realize that I can do this to him. I know he’s close. I don’t want this to end. I stop and stand up, his eyes on me. “Make love to me, Max.”
He lifts me up and carries me to the bed, kissing me the entire time. His lips are so soft, yet the heat they leave in their wake is so intense. I feel the heat rising in my body; all my nerve endings feel electrified. He lays me down, his mouth slowly working its way down to my legs. Every inch—covered . . . up one side and down the other. I listen to the sound of him groaning and mumbling as he pulls my panties off. Positioning himself on his knees, he slowly enters me. He then stops and leans down, resting his forehead on mine. Our eyes gaze intensely into each other.
“Babe, are you okay?” He’s always worried about me, making sure that he’s pleasing me.
“Yes, love me, Max.” He begins to move, slowly at first, but then I can feel the build-up in me, rising to the top. I dig my heels into his ass, trying to push him, but he’s fighting me . . . holding back. Then, he tilts his hips and with each thrust I swear he gets harder. Every emotion rushes to the surface, a rush that is so intense, I feel lightheaded. I let go and let the rush wash over me.
“Oh, babe, yeah.” His voice is deep and raspy and his release seems endless. His eyes never leave mine. He gently presses his lips to mine. I wrap myself tightly around him and close my eyes.
As I drift off to sleep I hear him whisper, “I love you.”
I COULD SPEND MY whole life with Jackie tucked safely in my arms, and I know I would be happy. It’s so different with her; she feels what I feel. She knows my fears and she accepts me just the same. We fit each other’s needs, yet we challenge each other. She’s finally asleep, so I tuck her in tightly and check in with Mick.
He answers on the first ring and sounds a little off. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah, everything is fine. Mr. Gerhard was waiting for us when we landed. We went directly to the clinic and got Junior settled in. Heads up—he’s upset that he doesn’t have his Doctor Who room. Let Raven know that Mrs. Gerhard is in love with Antonia and refusing to let anyone hold her.”
“What about An? How is she doing?”
“She is fine, all settled in and she is getting along wonderfully with Mrs. Gerhard. When can we expect you to get here?”
“We should be landing in a few hours. I’m sure we will go straight to the house. Where are Bella and Michael?”
“They stayed at the clinic with Junior. Mr. Gerhard has arranged for transport when you land. Do you need me to do anything else?”
“No, get some rest. Thanks for everything.”
I crawl back into bed, trying not to disturb Jackie but no such luck. “Hey, we have time yet, go back to sleep.”
I stroke her back and twirl her braid around, as she drifts off to sleep. There are going to be many more emotional days ahead for all of us. All we can do is rely on each other for strength and support.
I HOLD RAVEN IN my arms and somehow manage to get us into bed without breaking my neck. Lately, everything has been so intense. Even making love to her feels like it’s laced with a fear of great loss at an extreme intensity. I mindlessly twirl her hair around my fingers and she seems to be calming down.
“Sweetheart, when we land, I want to check on the baby and then head to the clinic to check on Junior. Are you okay with that?”
“Of course, do you want me with you when you tell him?”
“Actually, I’m going to talk to his doctors first and see what they think is best for him. I know Bella wanted to shield him from any hurt, that’s what mums do. But Junior is like me, he wants everything upfront and honest from the get go.”
“You go; I’ll be fine. Besides, I really need to spend some quiet time with our daughter. Make sure you let Michael know that we will all be there in the morning.”
“There’s something else I need to talk to you about.” Even though I’m trying to hide it, I can hear the dread in my own voice. “Jackie will probably want to be there when Sammy’s family is told. She is going to need you for support. I know that you’re grieving also, but you’re her best friend. I don’t know what to do for her.” We are both silent for a bit, her fingers tracing hearts on my chest while I twirl her hair mindlessly around my finger.
“You’re right, she is my best friend and I will do whatever she needs me to do. She is a lot stronger than you think.”
“Oh trust me, sweetheart, I learned that one today. I do believe my brother is going to have his hands full with her.”
She giggles again and it’s music to my soul. “We need to get ready; we should be landing in thirty minutes.”
We get up
and move about the room, getting ready for the next hurdle. I watch her doing all the simple things: brushing her teeth, pulling her hair up, and I know she’s the total package—the real deal. As crazy and fucked up as things have been, I’m still the luckiest man in the world. I’ve grabbed that brass ring and I’m holding on tight with both hands. I’m never letting go . . . ever.
MY SON IS AMAZING; so resilient and strong. Through everything, he always remains so positive. I admire his strength and wish I had more of it. I know the next few months will be difficult to deal with. I thank God that I have my family’s unwavering support. I know, in that sense, I am very blessed. After speaking with my mum and my son’s doctors, Michael and I think it’s best to wait and tell him about Rose later. I can’t wait till the rest of the family gets here; I offer Michael a smile as he finally comes back in with coffee.
“Where is Junior?”
“The nurses took him for his treatment. I know he wasn’t too happy about giving up that room, but this is like a small apartment for us. It will be better in the long run, don’t you think?” He doesn’t answer me. Hell, I don’t even know if he heard a word I said.
“Michael, what’s wrong?”
“I’ve come to a decision. I am going to see your father and ask him to be tested.”
“What?! Have you lost your mind? Jax said—.”
“—He’s my son, Bella, in every way that counts. I know what Jax said and, believe me, I do appreciate that he wants to spare all of us, but when it comes to my son, I will move heaven and earth for him.” He puts his cup on the table, sits down, and squeezes my hand.
“Everyone at the winery has volunteered to be tested. I’ve also contacted my family. They have agreed to be tested.” I’m totally floored.
“Michael, your family? The same family that wanted nothing to do with us once you told them everything? Why would they agree to this? Michael, what did you do?”
He closes his eyes, looking beyond stressed. “I agreed to let them meet him, and I agreed to be a part of the family again.”
“What?! What if they aren’t even a match? They wanted nothing to do with us, Michael! Hell, they called my son a bastard! How could you want to have anything to do with them?”
“For the same reason I will go to your father and beg him to try and save my son’s life. That’s what a parent would do to save their child. He’s my world; the sun rises and sets with him. We have no idea who or what he will become, but I know that he is destined to do great things. I will make sure that he is around to do them.”
I put my arms around his waist and hold on tight. He’s right—no matter what happens—we will do all that we can possibly do for him. “I love you so much. You’re the best dad any child could ever dream of having.”
“Well, don’t praise me, yet. I haven’t found a match and I still have to figure out how to explain to Junior why he never met his grandparents or any of my family.”
“We will tell him that not all family is as crazy close as ours. Sometimes, there is a difference of opinion and families separate. What matters is that all of that is in the past. If he chooses, he can get to know them now. We keep it simple, and show him it’s not a big deal.”
“Okay, I can do that. Have you heard from your brothers?”
“No, but they should be landing soon. I, for one, will feel better when everyone is all in one place. Just because Vincent and that crazy lawyer are dead, doesn’t guarantee that everyone is safe. There will always be someone out there trying to take the easy way out to get money.”
“I would love it if we could live at the vineyard in Italy. Even though it would be very safe, I know it would be a lonely life for Junior. In a lot of ways, he’s like Jax—always wanting lots of family around.”
“Well, if my brothers get their wish, Jackie and Raven will both be pregnant soon.” Before I can say anything more, the nurse wheels Michael in the room. He is finally back from his treatment.
He gets up and sits on the couch between Michael and me. “Mum, when is everyone getting here?” His voice is tired and raspy.
I need to keep it light for him. “They should be here soon, do you need something?”
“Take a look around this place—it’s boring; not even a Doctor Who DVD. I hope Uncle Jax remembered to take them.”
“Don’t worry about it. If he didn’t, then Dad will replace them.”
He pulls out his cell phone. “Michael, who are you calling?”
“Miss Rose, I want to make sure she comes here as soon as possible. I found a tunnel in the blueprints that Uncle Max gave me and I want to show it to her.”
His words twist like a knot in my stomach. I’m about to answer, when the door opens and Jax walks in . . . alone.
“Uncle Jax!” He jumps up and runs into his arms. “Where is everyone? Did you remember the DVDs? They have no clue who the Doctor is. How long do I have to stay here?”
“Slow down, buddy, it was a long flight and everyone was very tired, so when we landed, they went directly to Mr. Gerhard’s house. I will order everything and have it sent here tomorrow. You know me, Junior, I always tell you the truth. Your health is not worse. You know bad people were trying to hurt us.” Jax puts his hand on the back of Michael’s shoulder and guides him over to the couch to sit.
I know my son needs to be told. Michael and I sit next to them. “Jax, please, let me.” I take a deep breath and take a hold of his hand.
“Michael, I need to tell you something, and I need you to be really brave for me. The bad people that were after us were trying really hard to hurt Aunt Raven and Antonia, and even Aunt Jackie. They were finally stopped, but not before they hurt Miss Rose and Sammy.”
His eyes fill with tears and my heart is breaking for him, for all of us. “Mum, they d-died?”
“Yes, I’m so sorry.” I hold him close to me, rocking him in my arms as he cries. Michael wraps his arms around both of us, trying to comfort us.
Junior finally pulls away from us and looks to Jax. “You promised me we would all be together. You said you would be right behind us. How could you let that happen? How could you let her die? I trusted you!” he yells at him and I think I can safely say that we are all shocked. Jax sits there and doesn’t say a word, taking everything that Michael is throwing at him. I see a tear escape Jax’s eye and he quickly wipes it away. I can see that he’s holding back; there must be more. He tries to wipe away Michael’s tears but he pushes him away.
“Answer me, Uncle Jax, how could you let this happen?!”
“I tried to stop it. I was pulling your Aunt Raven behind me when Rose stepped in front of me, taking the bullet that was meant for me. She gave her life for me.” He opens his arms and Michael leaps into them. The two of them are rocking and crying. My brother keeps saying he’s sorry over and over again. They have a bond like nothing I’ve ever seen before. It’s being tested and rocked to the core, but it will never break. I sit here stunned by what Jax has said. Mick said Sammy and Rose were shot and didn’t make it, he never went into detail. Then it hits me, the guilt is what Jax has been hiding. He feels responsible for Rose’s death. I can tell him till I’m blue in the face that he wasn’t, but he will never believe me. From when he was a young boy, he always felt responsible for us. He thought he had to be the man of the family. My rape almost destroyed him, but we survived. This, however, is something that he needs to come to terms with on his own.
“Let’s give them some time alone,” my husband whispers near my ear. Even though I don’t want to, I know he’s right. “I’m going to give Raven a call and check in.” We get up to leave but I don’t think either of them notices.
JUNIOR FINALLY SEEMS TO be calming down. I look around and realize Bella and Michael left. I need Junior to stay focused on his treatment and getting better.
“Hey, I know you and Rose were close but the one thing she wouldn’t want is for you to get sick over all of this. She fought for you to get tested, and it’s because of her that w
e knew very early about your cancer. You need to fight harder than you’ve ever fought for anything before. Do it for Rose; become a man she would be proud to always call her friend.”
“I will, Uncle Jax, I promise. How is Aunt Raven?”
“She is doing the best she can. She will be by here in the morning to see you. Try and be strong for her, too, okay?”
“Yeah, I will. Now . . . about this place . . .” he trails off, eyeing the room.
I begin to laugh and it feels so good. “How about we start with a quick tour and then we can talk about what we are going to change.”
JEFF MADE SURE THAT my mom’s and Sammy’s caskets were already removed by the time we got off the plane. Jackie held it together until she saw her dad. I know we have so much more stress coming our way, I just don’t know how any of us are going to deal with it. The pain I feel can overtake me, if I let it. My daughter is my salvation, my lifeline. As long as I keep my focus on her, I can and will survive. We finally pull up to the house and I can’t get out of this car fast enough. Everyone is here, offering their condolences, but all I want right now is my daughter.
Mrs. Osla embraces me, “Up the steps, second door on the left. Good luck getting her away from Emi; go.”
I don’t think I will ever understand why anyone is afraid of her. “Thank you.” I race up the stairs to be with my daughter. I need her to comfort me. I open the door and freeze in my spot. Jeff and Emi had a complete nursery set up for Antonia. They even took the cranes from the wedding and hung them from the ceiling. It’s like being under a giant mobile. Emi is holding her and singing, the site makes me realize all over again how much my mom will miss. My daughter will never know her, the price she paid for Antonia’s happiness. Emi puts her in my arms and the emotions are overwhelming.
“Raven, your mother’s spirit will live on forever. She is within your heart and around you always. It is never goodbye forever.”
Shattered Lies Page 26