The Dead Days Journal: Volume 1

by Sandra R. Campbell

  “You’ll do anything for the people you love, even if they are undeserving; you want to hate me, but you can’t.” Halloween’s lips were the only part of him that moved. “All I want is for you to do for me what you have done for so many others.”

  I found myself tracing my knuckles across the smooth, strong line of his jaw. “You said you saw the future, so don’t you already know what I do?”

  “Some events are unknown, and you are always full of surprises,” he said, capturing my hand to place a soft kiss on the inside of my wrist.

  “You’re not going to tell me, are you?” I pulled my hand out of his loose grip. Lying back down, I turned to stare up at the ceiling of the dimly lit closet. I watched the shadows of the candle dance across the concrete, waiting for Halloween to answer. He remained silent. The flame flickered wildly a couple times before the melted wax rose up to extinguish the fire for good.

  I closed my eyes, but I didn’t drift off to sleep right away. Instead, I listened to the sounds of the closet: the rhythmic breathing, a slight rustle of fabric as my brother rolled onto his side…the sounds of life.

  Inside me a life was growing, though the only evidence was the strong craving I had for Halloween’s blood. I moved my hand over my flat stomach and tried to imagine it round and full. That image was quickly replaced by an engorged stomach being ripped open, tiny black-clawed hands tearing through me from the inside out.

  Almost as if he sensed my discomfort, Halloween moved his cool hand, his long, clawless fingers lacing through my mine. He squeezed my hand gently. Halloween was a survivor, too. He would be there with me through it all. And in that very brief moment, I knew Halloween would never fail me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  When Anouk delivered Tilly to the closet to feed Halloween, I grabbed Lincoln’s hand, pocketing my knife and revolver—I was ignoring Halloween’s “no weapons” policy—and slipped out into the hall. I had no interest in watching Halloween place his mouth on her, especially after whatever had transpired between us earlier. Before Tilly went inside to do her duty, she gave me a quick one-armed hug.

  All day, Halloween had kept my hand locked in his and his other arm wrapped around me, holding me close as we slept. His orange eyes were the first thing I saw when I woke, and in his arms I felt more like I was in a lover’s embrace than wrapped in a security measure. He held my face in his gaze for a long time. Only the rustling of Lincoln moving in his sleeping bag pulled his eyes away. Something in the air around us had changed. There was higher level of comfort, admiration, likeness… I still wasn’t sure there was a label to attach to what was happening between us, and so I left at the first opportunity.

  Whatever this is, I’m not ready.

  “Anouk, please go with Leo and her brother. See to it that they have no interaction with their father. I’ll meet up with you shortly,” Halloween ordered from inside the dark closet.

  I spun around to argue, but an urgent tug on my hand stopped me. If the gurgling emanating from Lincoln’s stomach was any indication, he would much rather see a heaping plate of food than face our father. I couldn’t say I blamed him. My belly was feeling a little hollow, too.

  Following Halloween’s orders to the letter, Anouk took the lead as we made our way down the corridor. She must have noticed the rumbling sounds of hunger because she walked us right into the mess hall where everyone was eating dinner. Lincoln froze in the doorway, obviously scanning the room for the person he feared most, but my father was absent from dinner. I wondered where he could be.

  Releasing Lincoln’s hand, I looked over at Anouk. “Where is he?”

  Anouk placed a slim, cold hand on my back as I watched my brother make his way across the room to where Zoe sat alone at a small table picking at a plate of plain rice.

  “Your father has taken ill. No need to worry, Dagon is keeping an eye on him.” I was surprised to see the deep lines that etched into her smooth grey-skinned forehead.

  “Ill? Don’t you mean hiding?” There would be no reason for my father to be ill. He was embarrassed possibly, but more likely he was feeling guilty. He had to have known why Lincoln took me aside in the courtyard and why my brother never returned to the panic room. My father’s secret was out. I knew and Halloween knew, but did Anouk and the other vampires know?

  Does anyone else know?

  Anouk gave me a slight shove. “Go eat.”

  The buffet table seemed rather sparse in comparison to a normal dinner-time meal. Whispers erupted as I walked over. I’d had very little contact with my family over the last several days, having been out of commission after Halloween’s rescue and the vampire horde’s final attack. From the looks on the faces of my family, most of them weren’t pleased or comfortable with my being there—or maybe it was the two badass vampires standing guard.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a disheveled Ben slowly rise to his feet, move around his chair, and head in my direction. I quickly filled my plate with a small portion of rice and a few raw vegetables before hurrying around to where Lincoln and Zoe sat close together. Before I reached the table, Kuro cut me off. I had to stop short to keep from running into him and immediately felt Ben bump against my back. Thankfully, my quick reflexes saved the miniscule amount of food on the plate from spilling to the floor.

  “Nice job last night,” Kuro said with a tilt of his head and a turn of his long-pointed ears, his iridescent eyes fixed on the hand that had just taken hold of my left elbow.

  I stared at him for a second, unsure of how to respond. Kuro gazed back, and then he tipped his head to the other side as if sizing me up, or maybe it was Ben.

  “Thanks.” The word squeaked out when I realized he wasn’t going to leave until I said something.

  “What happened last night?” Ben asked, tightening his grip on my elbow and urging me to turn around and face him. All I wanted was to get something in my stomach. Halloween’s blood was the only thing I’d eaten.

  The wicked smile that transformed on Kuro’s lips let me know he wasn’t congratulating me. Apparently my family hadn’t been informed of details surrounding Robert’s death. Do they even know he’s gone?

  Kuro stepped aside with an embellished swoop of his branded hand to allow me to move past him. Zoe and Lincoln were no longer alone. Duncan and several others had gathered behind their table. Whatever I said would quickly travel through the bunker. I should have thought my answer through, but hunger and irritation had gotten the better of me.

  “Robert’s dead. I shot him…”

  Kuro’s deep laugh echoed through the dining hall like a blaring alarm. Asshole!

  Once the noise stopped, I continued. “Robert was changing. He was possessed by a vampire.” Ben released my elbow to take a step back, his warm brown eyes turning cold. He said nothing.

  “Bullshit! You’re the one changing, Leo. You don’t fight for your family anymore. You fight against us. You lay with the enemy, steal your father’s son away when he needs him most, and then you kill Robert!” I knew the female voice that uttered those words and did not bother to face my accuser, Jack’s most recent lover, Hannah. My father had planted the seeds. No one trusted me anymore.

  I’m done with this place and these people.

  Hannah continued her rant from somewhere behind Ben. “You have no soul. While your father has gone to great lengths, made some really heartbreaking choices, to ensure that we, as humans, continue to populate the world…” I almost laughed as she moved to stand beside Ben in her green floral sundress and high, swinging ponytail. She straightened her spine before drilling me a hate-filled look.

  “So, you’re willing to sleep with my father for the greater good of the family?” I wouldn’t remind them that my father tried to have me raped or let them know what happened to Lincoln and Zoe, because if anyone knew and hadn’t done anything to stop it, I would gun them down or slit their throats right then and there.

  Hannah crossed her arms stiffly. “One by one, you’re destroying us
. We all know you’re responsible for every death that has occurred in this family for the last week.”

  I said nothing in self-defense. What would be the point? Besides, those who knew the truth weren’t stepping up to defend me. I thought at least Duncan and Ben would put an end to her prejudiced chatter, but they didn’t.

  “All of you go back to your meals.” The shrill voice belonged to Anouk. She appeared on the other side of Hannah. Anouk’s white-streaked hair, glowing purple eyes, and angry pursed lips would have been more frightening if she wasn’t so tiny. “Disperse!” she shouted when people didn’t seem to move fast enough.

  Ben turned with a scowl. Surely he would realize the truth about Robert, as I was certain Duncan did. They both were there when Halloween told us what vampires can do, but neither spoke up.

  Lincoln came around the table, pushed past Ben with a grunt, and grabbed my plate. He placed it on the table next to Zoe, who raised her bruised hand to signal for me to come over. I wanted to scream and cry. The shit my father did was inexcusable.

  I sat and my brother handed me a fork as he took up a sentinel position behind my chair. A single helping of rice with a few bites of radish and cucumber was about all I could stomach. The atmosphere of the mess hall had fallen into a negative spiral of distrust. I was surprised Ben had walked away without a word, but not nearly as surprised as when I saw Hannah take a seat next to Ben to comfort him with a brisk rub over his hunched shoulders.

  Are you kidding me?

  I made my best attempt to control the spark of anger that ignited. I’m still here! I’m carrying his child.

  I wanted to scream and pull Hannah out of the room by her curly brown hair. Instead I sat there grinding my teeth.

  Ben should not be…

  But then, what was I doing, sleeping the days away with Halloween and ingesting so much vampire blood that our child, mine and Ben’s, had been physically altered. I had to give up Ben. That was part of the deal I’d made. That doesn’t mean I have to like it. That doesn’t mean I want to see Hannah’s slutty little mitts all over him. Ben must have felt the heat of my stare because he quickly swept her hands away.

  The instant he rejected her, she spun in her chair to face me. I met her with a glare fierce enough to have her scurrying into a more crowded area of the mess hall. She would not want to meet me in a dark corridor alone.

  Not now, not ever. She can take up with Ben once I’m gone, but not a millisecond before.

  “Sis, can we take Zoe?” Lincoln whispered close to my ear.

  My head sputtered at his question as I physically shook the image of Hannah and Ben together out of my head. Poking at the food on my plate, I took a bit of time to restart my brain’s gears. I had barely gotten permission to take Lincoln, and here he was asking to drag Zoe along, too. I looked to Zoe. She was more than just bruised—the girl was completely broken. The Dead Days was a hard place to survive, especially for kids, who were subjected to horrors on a daily basis. But this thing with my father wasn’t a life and death situation. Well, maybe in my father’s disillusioned eyes it was, but the rape of children should never be allowed—end of the world or not.

  Zoe pulled at a hangnail on her index finger with a meek smile cast down to the scored wooden table as she waited for an answer. I had to make sure the issue was resolved before I left. If that meant my father’s death, then so be it.

  I ran the palm of my hand over her head, a few minor calluses snagging on several strands of her fiery red hair. “I promise that you will never have to go through that again.”

  Zoe breathed a heavy sigh.

  I had no idea how I would go about keeping that promise. I only hoped Halloween would continue to allow me to push the boundaries of our agreement.

  How much of myself am I willing to give up?

  A cold presence took my brother’s place behind me. I glanced back to see the hard line of Halloween’s jaw, his mystical eyes intently scanning the room before settling on me. He locked me with a bright gaze that I couldn’t turn away from. Someone could have set fire to the mess hall and I still wouldn’t have been able to pull my eyes from him. That one look said it all. I’d give him everything.

  A broad smile erupted on his handsomely dark face as if he’d heard my private thoughts and found them to his liking. Halloween dropped to his haunches next to my chair and put his face mere inches from mine. The smile he wore looked even better up close. My pulse raced. He even smelled delicious, like a freshly cracked honeycomb.

  Holy shit. I’m attracted to him.

  I quickly turned my head, and then I pushed myself from the table in an attempt to get away. The chair legs moved, scraping against the rough concrete before coming to an abrupt stop against Halloween’s side. He knowingly blocked my escape, and the slight raise of his black brow and the kink at one corner of his mouth told me he knew the reason I wanted to run. A surging heat burned my cheeks.

  Kuro, of all people, was the one to end my embarrassment. After strolling over with an unusual grace that only a vampire could pull off, he leaned his hip against the table with a bit more force than was necessary.

  “Orrin, Anouk says the winds are picking up. We need to get serious about our travel plans. It will take two nights to hike to the boat and then another few weeks of sailing. We’re cutting it rather close, don’t you think?”

  Halloween gave my knee a subtle squeeze that sent tingles dancing over my thigh before he stood. “Thanks for the weather report. We have more than enough time.”

  “Enough time for what?” I asked without looking at either vampire. They were both leaning in just a little too close.

  Dead Day # 1,456

  Robert is gone—murdered. Again my daughter is the one responsible. How could I have been so blind to her treacherous nature? As her father, I should have seen the signs long before now. Once I believed Leo to be the most perfect creation—spared my albinism. I loved her more than anything in the world. Even more than her departed mother. God rest her soul. Leo was the sun in a world of dim stars. I would have done anything to see that smile of hers. The only reward I ever needed was to see delight dancing in her sparkling green eyes.

  But now I realize her rare and natural beauty is a disguise for the horrible monster that lies in wait just beneath her flawless skin. And her brother, the weakling that has always needed to hold his mother’s hand, is following in her footsteps.

  I cry for my children, for their loss and mine. My heart breaks every minute, over and over again. If I didn’t have another family relying on me for their continued existence, I would cut my heart from my chest and hand it to Leo, give her and her brother the destruction they so desperately want. But the others are the reason I refuse to give my children the death they seek. I will fight back by whatever means necessary and give them a taste of their own medicine. As the old adage goes—fight fire with fire. Robert made sure to give me that fire before he died. I have a feeling that maybe he knew before me that it was coming, that Leo would hunt him down and take his life.

  As a dish, revenge is best served cold, correct?

  And so, while the blue burly beast sits opposite me watching my every move, I plot and plan the demise of my wretched offspring. My hate simmers just about to boil, but nothing will breach the surface, not until I’m ready—not until I have the power necessary to take them on. Only then will I take their lives, slowly and painfully. My nostrils fill with the scent of their fear as I imagine their faces when they finally get a good look at the new me. Lincoln will undoubtedly piss his pants. But Leo, she’ll hide her terror. I might get a small gasp out of her just before she pulls a blade.

  I smile and look to the guard sitting across the way. Dagon glances up with bright blue eyes, completely ignorant of the destruction that is building inside me, and the creature stupidly smiles back.

  Population: 14

  Rations: 72 days

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  “Did either of you know?” I stood beside Dunca
n and Tilly as they slumped into each other by the courtyard fire.

  Tilly’s eyes brimmed with tears while Duncan’s ruddy cheeks darkened. “Of course we didn’t know! I can’t believe…”

  “None of you have stood up to my father, and I have no idea who knows about what happened to Linc and Zoe. I’d hate to think that anyone knew, but at this point, I’m not about to put my faith in anyone,” I said, crouching at the end of their log and warming my hands next to the flames.

  I hadn’t forgiven Duncan for not speaking up for me in the mess hall. Normally, I wouldn’t mind letting Hannah have the last word, but a couple hours later it still irked me. If I didn’t know Duncan better, I’d say he was weighing his options in an attempt to stay neutral until the winning party was announced. And that really pissed me off.

  Tilly wiped her face on her shirt sleeve before drilling me with a hard stare. Her pupils shrank into pin-points as if she was trying to see clear through to my soul. “Leo, we’re in a tight spot. When you leave with Orrin, we’re stuck here. We’ll have to deal with whatever aftermath you leave behind.”

  Not a good enough excuse.

  “I expect the two of you to make sure these kids are protected, even if it’s against Vincent Marrok. He’s mentally unsound and no longer capable of leading these people.”

  Tilly cringed and turned away. She couldn’t deny the truth, but I don’t think she cared for my choice of words either. I’d never called my father by his given name or referred to our family as “people.” She heard in my words what she couldn’t see on my face—I’d already detached myself from them.

  My eyes flickered over to where Anouk and Halloween were gathered close to the bunker entrance. They appeared to be deep in conversation, though obviously nothing too secretive because Zoe and Lincoln were still glued to Halloween’s side.

  “Are you sure your father’s state of mind is not temporary? Look at everything he has suffered over the last week. The man’s not made of stone, you know,” Duncan said.