by Nina Bruhns
As he spoke, her gaze came to rest on the ring again. If anything, she looked sadder. What was wrong with her? Was the thought of marrying him that awful?
"Rini?"
"And what about you? What does Colton Lonetree get out of this?"
He gaped at her, not knowing what to say. "Me?" He had to tell her about the agreement he would insist on. But somehow he knew that was not what she wanted to hear right now. What could he say? The truth? He cleared his throat. "A family. I'd be getting a family."
She nodded slowly, her gaze seeming to penetrate his innermost thoughts. Unconsciously crushing the end of his tie, he prayed he didn't look as guilty as he felt.
"What else?" She tilted her head. "What is it you're not saying?"
He pushed out a breath. She could read him like a motion to discover. "I'd like you to sign a prenup saying that if you leave me I get custody of the baby."
"I see." Her gaze shuttered. "But only if I leave?"
He nodded.
She closed her eyes and considered for a couple of moments. "What if you … mistreat me?"
"Rini! I'd—"
She held up a hand. "I know. I know. You'd never hurt me." She didn't sound completely convinced, though. "Joint custody if I leave," she said firmly. "And Henderson writes it up."
Cole approached her and took her hands in his. "Does this mean you accept?" Pulling her closer, he leaned in for a kiss.
She turned her head, so his lips brushed her cheek. "Would I be required to share your bed?"
He jerked away, stunned as if by a physical blow. He stood in disbelief, watching her twist the ring round and round on her finger. He cleared his throat again. "I believe it's customary these days for a husband and wife to share a bed."
She shot him a level look. "It's also customary these days for a husband to be in love with his bride."
He shoved a hand through his hair. So that's what all this was about. Why did that have to matter to her so much? "I'm willing to take care of you, to give you and our baby a home and my name, to respect you and be faithful to you. What more do you want from me?"
Her chin went up a notch.
Hurt and anger twisted in his gut. "You made love with me when you didn't even know my name! But you won't share my bed when we're man and wife? Does that make any sense?"
"So, it is a requirement."
"Hell, no!" He clamped down on his temper. "No, of course not. I'm just … just a little surprised, that's all, considering…"
She started to take off his ring. "I understand if you want to take back your offer—"
"No!" He laid his hand over hers, thinking furiously. "The offer stands. We can make this strictly a business arrangement if it's what you'd prefer. I can live with that."
He'd just been telling himself that very thing not half an hour ago, hadn't he?
This would work fine. Regardless of his wounded pride, the fact was it was probably the best thing that could have happened. It would keep him from getting too attached to her, so when she left…
She regarded him seriously. "Are you sure this is what you want?"
"I'm sure."
"Okay, Cole. You and Henderson draw up the papers." She walked to the window and looked out. "Have him call me."
"How soon can you be ready to move?"
She spun to face him, her surprise evident. "You mean right away?"
"You've only got a few weeks to go. I want you settled into my house well before the baby comes."
He saw the flash of consternation in her eyes before she was able to cover it with a carefully unconcerned expression. "I don't have much to pack. I can be ready anytime you say."
He made a show of consulting his pocket calendar, suddenly needing to show her just how little her sexual rejection meant to him. "It'll take a couple of days to get the license and such. I have a hearing on Thursday. How about Friday?"
She laid a hand casually on the exam table, but it trembled against the white sheet. She snatched it back and stuck it under her arm. "To get married or move?"
"Both. That way we'll have the whole weekend to get to know each other." He tossed her a challenging look and hid a smile when that chin came up again. Sure, he'd go along with this business arrangement. But he was, after all, a man.
"Fine by me. Friday it is."
* * *
Chapter 9
« ^ »
Cole grabbed the mail from the box by the driveway and bounded into the house, thinking about what he would wear to his wedding tomorrow. Tossing his briefcase on the floor by his easy chair, he went through the mail. Bills mostly, but one looked personal, judging by the hand-addressed envelope. Settling into his favorite chair, he opened it. Carefully printed in pencil on standard-issue lined paper ripped from a notebook, it read,
Dear Mr. Lonetree,
My name is Jeff and I'm fourteen. I'm adopted. The agency told me Lindsay Walker is my real mom, but she didn't write down who my father is. I looked up her records and saw you guys were married the year before I was born, but I called her and she said you are not my father. But I'm hoping you might know who he is. Specially since your Indian. They say I look like one too. I don't want to butt in or be a bother or nothin, but I kinda want to find out where my roots are at, like what tribe and all. And my father. If you care to tell me please call.
Jeff
There was a phone number at the bottom.
Jeezus! Poor kid. Damn Lindsay's hide. Cole swiped a hand over his face. He somehow wasn't the least bit surprised she'd gotten pregnant and then abandoned the child. As she had him.
Looking at the letter in his hand, he thanked his lucky stars he had been thwarted in his youthful desire for the little tease. Things might be a bit complicated now if there were any chance this boy was his. But there wasn't. There wasn't a single doubt about that.
Between the long drive and the effects of the bottle of champagne after—and before and during—the ceremony in Vegas sixteen years ago, he and his ex-wife, Lindsay, had never gotten around to making love the night they were married. And after they'd gotten home, well, her daddy made sure they didn't spend even a second alone together.
Not that her father's objections would have stopped Lindsay if she'd had her heart set on sleeping with Cole, but by the time they had arrived home, she had lost interest in him, and they were soon divorced.
He shook his head. He had transferred to a distant college shortly after the fiasco and then hadn't seen Lindsay for several years. He hadn't even known she'd had a baby. It figured she hadn't kept her son. Cole's heart swelled in sympathy for this lost bird seeking his way back to the nest, and resolved to do what he could to make the journey a little easier for him.
Leaning back against his leather chair, he stacked his hands under his head. He remembered all too well what it was like to go through the agony of trying to find out who he really was. Endless red tape at the adoption agency, then that first heart-pounding contact when you were so vulnerable you thought you'd curl up and die if they said they didn't want to know you.
He'd like to give Lindsay a piece of his mind. What was she doing to help her child? Not much, apparently, since Jeff had written to him. Couldn't she even spare a moment to tell the kid who his father was?
He refolded the letter and headed for the kitchen. He wasn't about to get in touch with Lindsay. Not with his wedding the next day. If Lindsay caught wind of it, there was no telling what she'd do. No. He'd call Jeff and offer to help and pray his ex-wife left him the hell alone.
* * *
Katarina's eyes sprang open and she stared straight up for a moment in abject panic. It was Friday.
Her wedding day.
"What have I done?" she whispered to the ceiling. "Marrying a man who doesn't love me? The one thing I swore I'd never do!"
Outside, the sky streamed with sunshine and the birds were making a joyful racket in the mulberry tree. What did they know, anyway?
Across the driveway through Alex's open
kitchen window, she could hear cupboards banging over the hum of an electric mixer. Katarina squeezed her eyes shut. Alex didn't approve of the marriage, but was determined that a feast be provided for the handful of witnesses to the civil ceremony later that afternoon.
Later that afternoon. Groaning, Katarina pulled the quilt over her head. She dreaded the whole thing—suffering through Alex's disapproving looks, putting on a dowdy maternity dress to stand in front of a sour-faced judge with a condemning attitude who would stare at her belly while reciting hollow words of love and honor. Meeting Cole's family, being forced to smile and make chitchat when all she'd be able to think of was the coming night…
A night that should be spent in the arms of her beloved, making memories that would last a lifetime. A night that she'd instead be spending alone, dreaming of the father of her baby. Her husband. The man who didn't love her.
The man she was afraid to admit she was falling in love with. Taking a deep breath, she flung aside the quilt. This was getting her nowhere. There was nothing to do about it. She'd made her bed and now she must lie in it. Determinedly, she sat up. There were things to do. She'd deliberately left her packing until this morning, so she wouldn't have to think about the coming ordeal. And it was nearly nine. Alex had let her sleep away the whole morning.
Katarina showered and dressed, then packed her few belongings in a cardboard box and two suitcases she'd borrowed from her sister, leaving out the pastel flowered dress she'd wear to the ceremony. She chose it because it resembled the little calico sundress she'd worn to the powwow, a lifetime ago. Not that it would make a difference to Cole. Sundresses didn't inspire love.
Packing took all of half an hour. She eyed her bed dubiously. The one thing of substance she owned, it had accompanied her since childhood from her parents' home to college after her dad died, then to her apartment when she'd moved to L.A. from Philadelphia to be closer to Alex. It had been in a guest room after she'd moved in with David, and now she was destined to follow its lead—residing in a guest room in the home of her own husband.
It needed to be broken down for transport to Cole's house, but she wasn't sure she could manage it on her own. She fetched a socket wrench and screwdriver and spent the next fifteen minutes wrestling with the mattress and box springs before throwing in the towel and phoning Alex.
A few minutes later, her sister appeared in the doorway, arms crossed. She glanced around Katarina's room, taking in the suitcases and cardboard box. "So, you're really going through with this crazy scheme."
She sighed. "It's not crazy. It's what I want."
Alex's face fell. "For God's sake, he doesn't even love you!"
Katarina flinched. "Look, I know it's not ideal, but what in life is? I'd give anything to be marrying a man who is head over heels in love with me, but that's one dream that doesn't seem to be in my cards."
She motioned to Alex to help her move the mattress against the wall. "There are more important things to consider now than my own happiness. I have to think about the baby. About having a roof over his head and food in his mouth. Cole's even letting me finish school. He's being unbelievably generous, even if he doesn't love me."
Alex snorted with wordless eloquence.
"That means even if this marriage doesn't work out I can still provide a secure future for my child."
Ignoring Alex's gloomy scowl, she got the wrench and started unscrewing the bolts holding the bed together, thinking about her impending marriage. If the worst happened, really, joint custody wouldn't be so bad. She would still be his mother. That was what mattered most.
But the unbelievable thing was she really wanted the marriage to work. Cole was marrying her for all the wrong reasons—noble ones, to be sure, but all wrong nonetheless. Still, he was marrying her.
Maybe things would work out. Maybe…
She put down the wrench and gazed longingly at the beautiful ring on her finger. Golden flowers cascaded around the simple gold band, sprinkled with glistening drops of faceted diamonds. The swirling petals of the delicate center flower held a large single diamond captive in its middle. It was the most gorgeous ring she'd ever seen, and he'd bought it for her at a time when she refused to see him. When she wouldn't even read the cards that came with the flowers he'd sent. Her heart filled with an unbearable yearning.
She caught Alex watching her intently, and lowered her eyes. "David was never this unselfish, not even in the beginning when he still loved me. At least Cole's honest."
She felt a deep certainty that Cole was a better man than David ever thought of being. She herself had seen how kind, generous and thoughtful he was. And behind the strong, ultra-masculine exterior, she'd caught glimpses of the vulnerable little boy she'd so like to clasp to her heart and soothe away the hurts and fears she sensed he carried.
Much like the little girl inside herself.
Her sister shook her head forlornly. "I can't believe you're doing this."
"He's going to be a wonderful father. And maybe with time, he'll grow to love me, too."
Please, she prayed silently, let him love me, too.
* * *
Judge Jayne Aire's gaze swept over the wedding party, one eyebrow uplifted. If Katarina weren't completely numb from the toes up, she was sure she'd feel the heat of embarrassment burn in her whole body. Oh, brother. Why didn't the woman just get on with it? Jayne Aire. Ha! She checked the name tag of the security guard by the door, half expecting to see "Rochester" stamped boldly in black. Smith. Well, thank goodness for small favors.
She snapped to attention when Brad coughed loudly behind her. She shot a quick glance backward and saw his annoyed glare directed at the judge. Her nephew, Kenny, stood to one side of Brad, Alex on the other, gripping his arm and twisting his sleeve in her fingers, obviously trying to keep from bursting into tears. Katarina sent her a reassuring smile, which, despite having no conviction behind it, was rewarded when a corner of Alex's mouth came up bravely.
Cole's parents stood behind him, accompanied by his Luiseño half-brother, Billy, and cousin Tanya—the woman who had been at Henderson's during that first horrible meeting. Katarina thought briefly that Tanya must be at a different wedding than she was, the woman's smile was so full of joy and excitement. Well, it was nice someone was happy.
Cole's mom, Julia, looked worried beneath her pleasant expression as she watched the judge expectantly. She seemed a warm and loving person—she had given Katarina a long hug when they'd met earlier on the courthouse steps. She'd joked about cookies and babies, and steadfastly ignored her son's cool, businesslike demeanor. The father—Ted—had seemed nice, too, if a bit bewildered by the whole thing.
Katarina looked back when Judge Aire cleared her throat.
"Shotgun, eh, Cole?"
That's it, Katarina thought. Total humiliation. She wished she could disappear through the floor.
"Very funny, Jayne," Cole mumbled. The judge's apparent amusement was surpassed only by his obvious aggravation. "Could we just get on with this, please?"
The judge's brows rose. "Watch it, son, or I'll hold you in contempt. You're lucky I like you, or you'd be waiting in that line down the hall with the rest of the unwashed masses."
Cole glanced at Katarina, then contritely back at Judge Aire. "Don't think I'm not immensely grateful, your honor. I owe you big-time."
She harrumphed. "That's more like it." Her smile returned. "Well, Cole, I always thought you were much too wrapped up in your lawyering for outside interests. I'm glad to see I was wrong. A young man needs a little love in his life."
Katarina heard him take a deep breath and hold it. She lowered her eyes to the bouquet he'd presented her with when she'd arrived at the courthouse—white roses and gardenias, with a sprinkling of orange blossoms mixed in—and tried hard not to imagine what he was thinking at that moment.
After an awkward pause, Judge Aire said gamely, "Well, shall we begin?" Katarina looked up to see her staring pointedly at Cole. "Call me old-fashioned, but I lik
e my brides and grooms to hold hands. This may be a civil ceremony, but a little ritual never hurts. You of all people should know that."
"Yes, ma'am." Cole hastily took Katarina's hand between his. His hands were warm, but his touch was chilly and reluctant.
She kept her gaze on the judge, who in turn searched her and Cole's faces. Katarina did her best to muster the proper expression for an eager bride.
"I assume we are all here of our own free will?"
Her heart sank. Was it that obvious? "Yes, your honor," she answered in unison with Cole.
The ceremony was mercifully short. Five minutes and it was over. She couldn't remember saying "I will." But she must have done, because before she knew it, she had slipped the ring Cole had sneaked her onto his finger, and her new husband was brushing a quick kiss on her cheek.
Katarina wanted to scream, "Stop!," wrap her arms around Cole's neck and kiss him lingeringly and lovingly, the way a bride ought to—the way she so longed to do. This was her wedding! It might be a marriage of convenience, but it should still mean something to be pronounced husband and wife.
But instead, she was shaking the judge's hand, being enveloped by an openly weeping Alex, and accepting a hug from Brad and a shy peck from Kenny.
She turned to find Julia waiting for her. Her new mother-in-law extended her hands and grasped hers warmly. "Welcome to the family, Rini. I hope we can be good friends."
"Thank you. I hope so, too," she said, hugging her. She felt instinctively that she had an ally in the kindly woman.
"Congratulations," said Cole's brother, Billy, shaking her hand.
Ted gave her a squeeze. "Anytime we can help you keep this guy in line, just let us know."
She smiled and glanced at Cole. "Thanks. I may take you up on that sometime." His parents were being so nice. It couldn't be easy, having their son's sudden marriage sprung on them like this. And a baby and all. She could hardly believe they were speaking to her, much less being as sweet as could be. "Thank you all for being so wonderful. You don't know how much it means to me to have your good wishes."