Mistake Me Not

by Scarlett Finn

  They fed her when they remembered, sometimes several times a day, at other times she went without seeing anyone for days. In the initial weeks she’d been jeered and groped frequently but Jamie had kept his word that no one would do anything further. After the Neanderthals got that into their heads, they lost interest in her, getting bored and frustrated about their orders.

  She’d gotten used to her captivity with surprising speed. She hadn’t changed clothes, or bathed since she got here, but she hadn’t had exercise either. She’d stopped crying, she’d stopped screaming, she’d stopped trying to escape, or draw attention to herself. Ryder would figure Jamie out eventually and it broke her heart to think of him betrayed – privacy and loyalty. How would he feel when he found out his oldest friend had done this to both of them? It would tear him apart.

  The only person who ever spoke to her was Jamie. She knew that he came and went, and often didn’t hang around long but he always made time to speak to her. He would come to the basement and talk to her. He’d make fun of Ryder’s latest plan to find her. He gave her updates on Ryder’s mood, and he’d met Sorcha now too. He’d also told her that her parents were in the country, and it broke her heart to think of them missing her, and possibly thinking the worst. He probed her for information though she was sure it was just to increase the high he got at getting one over on Ryder, the very thought made her sick, but what could she do? While she remained here she was at his mercy, and at least she knew the game he was playing, Ryder wasn’t so fortunate. She’d stay strong, and exist for however long this charade took... there was no other option.

  Ryder and Jamie were watching television in the downstairs lounge at HQ. Constantly Ryder thought of Lacie and being here on a couch he’d shared with her left him raw. But Jamie remained ignorant to his torment.

  ‘You didn’t tell me she was famous,’ Jamie said.

  ‘She’s not famous,’ Ryder said. ‘She hates the attention.’

  ‘Privacy and loyalty,’ Jamie said taking another beer from the cooler at the end of the couch. ‘Doesn’t look like she’s getting either.’

  Ryder couldn’t remember when he’d told Jamie about her values but his head had been all over the place in the last month, there was a lot he couldn’t remember. The thing he hadn’t forgotten was the gut punch her smile delivered in his truck. He hadn’t forgotten the meal they’d shared, or that first kiss. His life had been brought starkly into focus when he’d met her, and his future had made sense. Everything had clicked into place almost as quickly as it had fallen apart immediately thereafter.

  Gabe stuck his head in the door. ‘You’ve got a visitor upstairs.’

  ‘Who?’ Jamie asked.

  ‘For Ryder.’

  Gabe had been testy for the last week, and Rocco had been off too. Ryder wasn’t sure if the aggravation was aimed at him or at Jamie but something had settled over the compound that he didn’t like. But he had enough on his plate right now without investigating their internal politics.

  When Ryder got up the stairs his thoughts had already trailed back to Lacie, all of his mental pathways led back there. Night had settled around the town and though he hadn’t seen a clock he’d put the time around midnight, which made his visitor all the more unexpected.

  ‘Shep?’ he said when he entered the reception to see Shep wandering.

  ‘Ryder,’ Shep said and the men shook hands. They’d never been the best of friends, and they hadn’t seen each other for weeks, but a tentative truce had been formed after recent events.

  ‘It’s late,’ Ryder said. ‘What can I do for you?’

  ‘I’ve been spending some time with Sorcha.’

  ‘She told me.’

  ‘Her mother’s appeal yesterday was powerful.’

  Now he was talking about Lacie. ‘Yeah,’ Ryder said.

  ‘Lacie’s disappearance has played on the news all day. You must be hopeful.’

  ‘I’ve had the cops on the phone; there are a few new leads.’

  ‘That’s good,’ Shep said.

  Ryder shrugged unable to be too optimistic about unknown variables. It would take a major stroke of luck for anything to turn up valuable information. More often than not exuberant apparent witnesses rarely panned out and actual real leads got lost in the swamp of white noise created by the nonsense factors.

  ‘What can I do for you?’ Ryder asked.

  Reluctance shimmered around Shep. ‘We’ve not seen eye to eye for a long time,’ Shep said. ‘But what happened with Lacie, the whole thing, I... I’m really sorry.’

  ‘I appreciate that,’ Ryder said. ‘You came all the way over here at this time to tell me that?’

  ‘No,’ Shep said scanning around their environment.

  ‘So why did you come over here?’

  ‘No offence man but this place gives me the creeps.’

  ‘The lights aren’t on,’ Ryder said.

  ‘It’s not the dark that makes me uneasy,’ Shep said.

  ‘So what is?’

  ‘There’s a blight on this place, you know that? It’s in the air.’

  ‘Shep—‘

  ‘It’s about Lacie,’ Shep said. ‘Or it might be. I don’t know. Sorcha said... You’re looking for her.’

  ‘That’s not a secret.’

  ‘No, it’s not. But, I got something...’

  ‘What?’ Ryder asked.

  ‘I’m not going to tell you that yet.’

  ‘Like hell—‘Ryder said storming at Shep who held up his hands in surrender.

  ‘Did you ever wonder why you’ve got nowhere? You guys have been doing this for years, have you ever come up so empty handed? Have you ever had the bad luck that you’ve had with this case? You have nothing Stone, almost five weeks since she vanished in front of your eyes and you haven’t even turned up the car that took her. You found Booth in a few hours the first time around. Lacie came to you and a few hours later, she was in your car, the next day you were at Booth’s door. Why has it become so difficult? Where did the guy go? How did he get so good at hiding from you overnight?’

  Maybe Shep was voicing what his men hadn’t because he’d put their bad luck down to his own incompetence, but maybe Shep had a point.

  ‘What do you have?’ Ryder asked.

  ‘I’m here because Sorcha trusts you,’ Shep said looking left and right. ‘I think you care about Lacie but I don’t trust your men, and I don’t trust this room. Someone is listening to you. Whether it’s a bug you don’t know about, or a mole who has gained your trust, I don’t know but there’s a reason all of your leads have been brick walls. Sorcha’s been telling me about your progress, or lack of it. She won’t be coming back here. This place isn’t safe. You’re not even willing to ask the obvious question.’

  ‘Which is?’

  ‘The person – or persons – who have Lacie know your every move before you make it. You have to have realised that he knows.’

  ‘This is what you came to tell me?’

  Shep moved in close. ‘I came to tell you that Booth’s colleague Alan has left town. He was approached, spooked, the man was in fear of his life, and now he’s gone.’

  ‘Spooked?’ Ryder asked. ‘Who approached him? What did they want?’

  ‘I’m not interested in being a footnote on your investigation. I came here to warn you that someone is trying to erase the evidence. We spoke to Alan – Booth’s colleague – the day Lacie disappeared and now he’s gone too. Who is next?’

  ‘When was he approached?’ Ryder asked.

  ‘Yesterday. He phoned me last night in a panic.’

  ‘It’s taken you all day to tell me?’

  ‘I spent the day trying to trace the guy.’

  ‘No luck?’ Ryder asked.

  ‘None.’

  ‘Did he tell you what was said?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Shep said.

  ‘Well?’ Ryder asked when Shep didn’t continue.

  ‘I’m not giving you the details. I don’t trust this place.’r />
  ‘How do you know this is related to Booth, or to Lacie?’

  ‘Booth is dead,’ Shep said.

  ‘How do you know that?’ Ryder asked trying to keep up a bluster but the wind was seeping from his sails.

  ‘Alan was told,’ Shep murmured keeping their conversation as covert as possible.

  ‘And you trust them?’

  ‘Wishful thinking maybe,’ Shep said.

  ‘You wish him dead?’

  ‘Lacie’s alive,’ Shep said. ‘That’s why I’m here. He said Lacie was alive.’

  Torn by a desire to whoop in delight and another to wail over a possible missed opportunity Ryder tried to keep himself in check.

  ‘What did he say? I need to know exactly what was said.’

  ‘You’re getting this information third hand now. I don’t rely too much on Alan remembering specifics – the man was pissing his pants.’

  ‘How can you trust it’s credible then?’

  ‘Because he was pissing his pants, and now he’s off the radar.’

  Shep went for the door. ‘What? That’s it?’

  ‘I thought you’d appreciate the news.’

  Shep got the door open, and Ryder stepped towards him. ‘Thanks,’ Ryder said.

  ‘Watch your six,’ Shep said. ‘Someone else sure is but it’s for all the wrong reasons.’

  Shep disappeared and Ryder loitered in the dark replaying their conversation. If he said he hadn’t considered the possibility of surveillance he’d be lying but they were an insular group. No one from the outside got in, and the HQ compound was as secure as an army base. The only way anyone could be so far ahead of them every time was if they were bugging every room, and every phone in the place, and he couldn’t imagine that was possible without the knowledge of at least one of the team members but that in itself threw up the unthinkable.

  ‘Everything ok?’

  Ryder turned to see Jamie enter the room. ‘Yeah,’ Ryder said. ‘Yeah, everything’s fine.’

  ‘Who was it? What did they want?’

  ‘Nothing,’ Ryder said with a foreign reflex to protect. ‘It was no one, nothing important.’

  ‘Sure?’

  ‘Yeah,’ Ryder said. ‘Let’s get back to the game.’

  Chapter Ten

  The trouble with trusting no one was that you were immediately isolated. Ryder played his conversation with Shep round and round and he’d initially refused the premise... except he stopped communicating with his team. Convincing yourself that your instincts are right is difficult when paranoia gets into your mind. Things had happened, he’d been close to her he’d known it, he’d felt it, but she’d been whipped away.

  Nothing in the world was more important to Ryder than finding Lacie, and he’d go to whatever lengths it took to complete his mission. His team had always been there for him, they provided a safety net, a sounding board, solidarity. But right now he found himself second guessing everything – including his own thoughts.

  ‘I’ll be out of here in ten minutes,’ Jamie said.

  Eric tossed a bag into Jamie’s truck and Ryder was jarred from his thought. ‘How long are you gone?’ Ryder asked trying to get his mind back to the moment.

  ‘Couple of days,’ Jamie said. ‘We’ll be back by the start of next week anyway... I’ve got a couple of things to grab from upstairs. Don’t head out until we’re back down.’

  Ryder was on his way to the police station for an update meeting with Sorcha and Lacie’s parents. Jamie and Eric were away on a job but Ryder had no idea about the details, he hadn’t had much to do with operations in recent weeks.

  Jamie tossed his sunglasses on the passenger seat of his vehicle and headed to the stairwell with Eric. When the door closed Ryder loitered alone in the parking garage but a flicker of reflected light caught his eye. Going closer to the still open passenger door Ryder frowned at the glasses. Jamie had just tossed them – aviators, reflective aviators that he’d never seen Jamie wear. Ryder’s own had gotten him a bit of stick when he’d first worn them but he hadn’t worn them for a while... in fact the last time he’d seen them...

  Smacking him in the head like a two by four Ryder staggered back. Lacie had been wearing them that day; she’d hooked the leg into her cleavage when they’d got to Shep’s office. Though he couldn’t be sure he would bet that they’d still been there when she got forced into that car... but that would mean that...

  Time was of the essence and while Ryder tried to tell himself that it wasn’t true memories of the last few weeks conflicted. How Jamie had seemed to know of Sorcha’s pregnancy. The time he’d referred to Lacie as “Dusty” though Ryder had been sure he’d never used the pet name to, or in the presence of, his business partner. He’d used Lacie’s values of “privacy and loyalty”. Too many things didn’t quite add up yet Ryder told himself he was paranoid. Jamie had been his best friend for a decade and a half yet he hadn’t shown much concern for Lacie’s disappearance, or how it affected Ryder, but Jamie could be dry... couldn’t he?

  Of its own volition his body had moved to the metal cabinet in the corner, he punched in the code to open it. On autopilot, he reached for a GPS tracker and closed the door, returning to Jamie’s truck he activated the tracker and attached it to the truck’s underbelly. Moving away, he covered his mouth as the possibilities sank in, yet he managed to convince himself the evidence this would give would prove Jamie's innocence and then he would actually have someone to trust.

  ‘You ok Buddy?’

  Jamie and Eric were back in the garage and piling into the truck.

  ‘Great,’ Ryder managed. ‘Have a good trip.’

  ‘Sure,’ Jamie said. ‘Give me a call with the updates.’

  ‘Updates?’

  ‘The police station, that is where you’re going, remember?’

  ‘Sure, yeah,’ Ryder said.

  Jamie laughed and offered a wave then he sped out the still opening garage door. Ryder stood static, his actions sickened him, yet something burned in his belly – a hope he hadn’t felt during any part of the investigation. He’d betrayed his best friend. A part of him had to believe that Jamie may be involved or he wouldn’t had done what he just did – maybe his instincts hadn’t completely deserted him. Except now he had to calculate his next step and he had to do it quickly, and quietly.

  Everyone thought he was going out so that’s what he would do, right now. Ryder leapt into the truck and took the laptop from the floor that he’d brought for the meeting, and checked his duffel was in the back. Jamie and Eric had had enough time to get on the road so Ryder wasted no more time. He got his truck into gear and drove through the still open garage door. A surreal quality had settled over his life because his instinct was to go to the last place on earth he’d ever expect to want to go, but presently he couldn’t get there fast enough.

  ‘I’m surprised to find you here,’ Ryder said closing Shep’s office door.

  ‘Ditto,’ Shep said. ‘I just dropped Sorcha off at the police station. I thought you would be there too.’

  ‘I called and told them I wouldn’t make it.’

  ‘Sorcha will be mad.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Ryder said taking the seat that he’d shared with Lacie the last time he’d been here.

  ‘So, clue me in.’

  Ryder examined Shep who appeared somehow more relaxed, his complexion was brighter, his eyes more aware, and he was wearing a tie that matched his shirt.

  ‘Where’s Tiffany?’

  ‘She and Sorcha weren’t that keen on each other.’

  ‘Things getting serious with you and Sorcha?’

  ‘Could be,’ Shep said and the fact that he’d said it with a smile instead of a scowl told Ryder more than the man was saying aloud. ‘What can I do for you? You wouldn’t cancel a meeting about Lacie for no reason.’

  ‘What you said last week has been playing in my head.’

  ‘Good,’ Shep said. ‘Did it get you anywhere?’

  ‘Paranoid,’ Ryder a
dmitted. ‘You’ve made me start to doubt my own men.’

  ‘You didn’t blow off Lacie’s meeting to come here and scold me.’

  ‘I planted a tracker on Jamie’s truck,’ Ryder blurted out.

  ‘Wow.’

  ‘I can’t talk to my own guys because any of them could be in on it. If they’re not then they know I’m doubting them.’

  ‘So you came here?’

  ‘I don’t trust you,’ Ryder said. ‘But, you came to me, and you care about Sorcha.’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I want Lacie back. I don’t care what it takes, and I’ll make whatever sacrifices I have to.’

  ‘Do you think Wallace is involved?’

  ‘I don’t want to. He might not be but there’s... things that just don’t quite add up and I want to be sure.’

  ‘Better to be sure than to live in wonder,’ Shep said.

  ‘That’s what I’m trying to tell myself.’

  ‘So, where is it?’ Shep asked. ‘The tracker.’

  ‘They left just before I did so wherever they’re going they are not there yet.’

  ‘Do you have a plan?’ Shep asked.

  ‘It was impulse,’ Ryder said.

  ‘Impulse that came from something.’

  ‘Sunglasses,’ Ryder admitted on a sigh. ‘The sunglasses that Jamie has look like the ones Lacie had.’

  ‘Is that it?’ Shep asked. ‘I’ll admit that’s suspicious but it’s hardly ironclad.’

  ‘Maybe you’re right,’ Ryder said. ‘Could be that I’m just paranoid, but you put it there.’

  ‘I might have helped it along but you’re not an idiot.’

  ‘You’ve got me doubting my oldest friend.’