watching january

by Kamilla Murphy

  “With either Nadine, Carolyn or Chloe? That’s highly unlikely.” I thought of Heather but kept it to myself, not wanting to take the chance of hurting the man I was falling in love with. We found my husband in the kitchen. He enthusiastically announced that he was making dinner for the three of us.

  After he called home Griffin said, “Whatever it is it smells good, Rog, I’m in” before glancing at the refrigerator and asking if we had any beer.

  “You want one, honey?” I asked, and was surprise when both men looked at me. I pulled three bottles out of the fridge while pondering the phenomenon of having both of them respond to “honey” like that. I sat at the table while Roger and Griffin worked on dinner, tossing a salad together while putting the finishing touches on the chicken-a-la-something-or-other (I didn’t know Roger’s recipe but Griffin was right, it did smell good). The apparent instant domesticity spoke louder than any words. Whatever we wished to call Roger’s “idea,” somehow we’d turned a corner into that new paradigm. The men went about their tasks with unforced joviality far removed from how two men “sharing” a woman would normally act. I sat back, drank my beer and relished the scene.

  Our dinner conversation centered on Roger’s golf outing and the invitation to Vibe. We did not talk about the afternoon here. My husband regaled us with a hole-by-hole account of the round as well as the après-golf libations. When the subject focused on Nadine and Carolyn, my husband said to Griffin, “They’re good for each other, aren’t they?”

  Griffin looked downward, avoiding eye contact, but he did say, “Yes, they are.” We let the silence happen, and eventually Griffin opened up. “I married Nadine knowing something was different. She wasn’t exactly in the closet but I was too love-struck to realize her sexual preference wasn’t me. We weren’t sexless. She actually knew how to get a man off. I guess I did like many men before me; I blamed myself for being a subpar lover because I wasn’t doing it for her. Then came all the time spent with her lady ‘friends.’ We had Heather, and I immersed myself in my law career so the reality of my marriage took a while to be understood. Really, I never hated my wife for preferring women. I’ve simply lived with it.”

  I reached out and took his hand. He looked into my eyes and said, “I love you, Jan.” Then he looked at Roger. It was more of a pleading look than a challenging one.

  “Don’t worry, Griff. I know you love her. It’s obvious. I love her too. I always have,” my amazing husband said. He glanced at me before continuing as if I wasn’t there. “She needs you. She needs you in her life. I hope she still needs me, though being the one who set this whole thing in motion I know it’s not up to me.”

  Echoing Griffin, Roger turned back to face me and said, “I love you, Jan.”

  Looking at one man and then the other, I said, “I remember a song, ‘Torn Between Two Lovers’ I think it was called. I know in my heart I don’t need to feel torn. I love both of you and someday I’ll figure out how this will work.”

  Roger said, “We’ll figure it out together.”

  The Vibe invitation reentered the discussion. Roger explained in his own boyish way how it would be fun and allow us, and that included Nadine, to continue working out our burgeoning multi-part relationship. By the time Griffin kissed me goodnight and went home we committed to the Vibe Club date.

  Roger then had me for dessert.

  Eschewing after-dinner clean up, he took me into his arms, carried me to our bedroom and quickly pulled my clothes off. Before he went down on me with his talented tongue he joked he was worried that after having Erik’s big cock I might not be satisfied by him. As the first orgasmic wave swelled within me I muttered, “Let’s test it out… aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!” The ‘test’ began when he entered me in the missionary position and I teasingly whispered, “Wait until you see the video…”

  His thrusts were relentless. At one point he uttered, “You’re not sore, are you… from today?”

  I squealed out in orgasmic ecstasy before softly saying, “Does that sound like I’m sore?”

  He thrust a few more times and sighed, “You… might… still… need… some… salve…” He pulled out and sprayed a massive amount of hot semen onto my belly and mons. I blissfully purred and rubbed the “salve” all over my body. In the shower, and before we fucked again, I asked him when we would watch the video. Maybe the anticipation is what drove him to recuperate so quickly.

  Chapter 28

  Roger

  With wine but alas, no popcorn, we curled up on the sofa and began watching this afternoon’s special movie production. We’d placed the camcorder well and now with it hooked up to our widescreen TV the picture was exceptionally clear—and revealingly hot. Erik turned out to as advertised. Foot-long cocks are usually an exaggeration but this guy’s dick really did look like it was that long. He had the smug look of entitlement on his face (as I’d expected he would have with that dick). The look disappeared when Jan began to suck him.

  I snickered, “I know how good you are, dear, but until seeing it with my own eyes I never would have believed you could take that weapon down your throat like you did.”

  Jan laughed with me. “See, big guy. I have all kinds of specialized skills.”

  Calling me ‘big guy’ right then wasn’t a joke. Watching her perform had me harder than the proverbial rock. By the time she had a man at both ends of her I told her she ought to be in porn, that’s how hot she looked.

  She said, “In all seriousness, I’m having a hard time believing that’s me, that I did that with both of them. Did you know it would come to this back when you proposed I should sleep with Griffin? Did you know what it would do to me?”

  “I’m not some kind of bedroom Nostradamus, but I guess the answer is yes, I did suspect that if I pushed you toward the idea of an open marriage it would light a fire within you, a fire I missed tremendously from when we were first married.”

  “And you’re not the slightest bit jealous?”

  “Not now. Before we were married and then for a while afterward I was extremely jealous anytime I saw you talking to another man. You exuded so much sexual energy with me I knew you had more than I could handle, so I imagined you were fucking everybody.”

  “I never cheated on you.”

  “I know, honey. It was my rampant imagination early on that the mind-blowing sex we had was because of you and not me, and therefore you had to get more somewhere else to satisfy your needs. It took a while for me to realize that it wasn’t happening like in my imagination, and that I was the luckiest guy in the world.”

  “What changed?”

  “We both did. We fell into a rut and grew frustrated with our sex life. I saw you that first time with Griffin and I knew you’d probably cheat on me eventually. I imagined you with Griffin and surprised myself by not having jealous feelings. Over time I kept thinking that if you were going to cheat on me then Griffin should be the man to do it with.”

  While I was talking Jan palmed my erection and slowly stroked me, occasionally running her fingertips against my balls. She smiled and said, “So you figured any fooling around should be on your terms.”

  “Oh, don’t put it like that.”

  Her stroking took on some urgency. “How else can I put it? My husband offered me to another man. I can’t feel guilty for going along with it. Did you want guilt? Or maybe a returned favor?” She said the last with an exaggerated batting of her beautiful eyelashes.

  After an involuntary groan I hoarsely said, “Maybe a hoover job like you gave Erik.”

  “I can do that.”

  I wasn’t the test Erik had been but she gave me the full A+ treatment. How she overcame the gag reflex was beyond my comprehension, especially since I gave fellatio a try when I first met the t-girl Jackie and now knew the challenges. Jan took me deep into her mouth while running her tongue along the sensitive underside of my hard cock. She somehow kept a nice vacuum sensation going that kept the suck in cocksucking, all the while massaging my balls.

/>   “Oh sweetheart, I’m gonna…” I bellowed leaving the last syllable unsaid as I unloaded deep in her mouth.

  She swallowed it all like I knew she could before lasciviously wiping the corner of her lips with the back of her hand and smiling up at me.

  When I glanced back at the TV screen I said, “How did you manage THAT position?”

  “It was rather acrobatic, wasn’t it?”

  I watched in amazement as she was somehow upside down at the outside edge of the hot tub as Erik stood above her and slowly dipped his long dick down and into her obviously wet pussy. For some reason this viewpoint emphasized how long he was and how deeply he penetrated Jan even though he was only semi-rigid and pointing downward.

  “Wasn’t that uncomfortable? I mean, all the blood rushing to your head?”

  She chuckled and said, “A lot of blood stayed put around my clit, I think. It was a different kind of orgasm, I’d say.”

  We watched more, and besides getting stiff again I got a big kick out of the little digs she gave him about his performance. The guy looked so egotistical, like he took his size for granted that he couldn’t comprehend anyone complaining. Jan turned her attention to Griffin, who made a comment about getting out of the water before they shriveled up. Jan said, “But you’re not shriveled up” as Griffin stood, exhibiting a healthy erection.

  They exited the hot tub. After watching the captured video so far I shouldn’t have been astonished any more at his size, but the damn thing dangling like it was as he stood near the tub still had me shaking my head in amazement. I thought, with his great looks and equipment he didn’t have to be an asshole as it seemed he was. Then again perhaps those very same things made him a smug asshole in the first place.

  They refreshed drinks and sat in patio chairs just outside of the camera’s range, though we could still hear the conversations. I asked Jan, “Who is this Mary-Clair you keep talking to them about? Is she one of Griffin’s office bimbos Erik fucks all the time?”

  “Hardly, Mary-Clair is the firm’s Executive Assistant, so you know she basically runs the place. She’s over sixty but except for the gray hair doesn’t look it. In fact she seems to be quite a hot number. And before you ask me, yes they both have fucked her.”

  I laughed. “I think I’d love to meet this lady.”

  “Maybe we can arrange that,” she said with a smile.

  “You sound like you’re ready to pimp me out to her.”

  “You mean like you pimped me out to Griffin?” She was grinning so it wasn’t meant as a taunt.

  “Ha-ha. Now that you’ve mentioned this lady, I am intrigued. Sixty, huh? You said gray hair, but what does she look like exactly?”

  “Thin but not skinny. I couldn’t tell you anything more about her body since when I met her she was wearing a pant-suit suitable for a law office. The gray hair wasn’t old-lady styled either, somewhere between a bob and a shag. She’s kinda cute, made me think she was drop-dead gorgeous when she was younger, and aged well since. You should have seen the sparkle in those hazel eyes of hers, especially when sex was the topic.”

  I’d mostly lost interest in the video until the word “poked” came through my subconscious ear. “What did you just tell him?” I asked Jan.

  “I told him I was sick of getting poked. You know, my cervix. He wants to show off how long he is but doesn’t understand that the incessant poking doesn’t feel good.”

  With my interest re-engaged I said, “This is when I came home. So you figured a switch to anal penetration would fix that?” I didn’t let her answer, observing that “Erik sure went for that idea,” as I watched him drape my wife over the hot tub’s rim and sliding his full length into her rectum.

  Jan watched and then moaned loudly. “I never was one for anal but there was something about the switch—maybe it was his amazing length, or maybe it was just that my vagina and clit had been attacked enough. Anyway, I loved it.”

  “It looks like it,” I said, watching and hearing them climax. I was about to shut the video off after a while since Erik had showered and left. But then I heard Jan’s last conversation with Griffin out of camera range.

  “Did you get it out of your system?”

  “I think I did,” Jan replied. “You’re not out of my system by a long shot, my handsome lover.”

  There was silence for minute or so. I figured they were kissing. Then Griffin said, “Roger seems to be handling it all very well. Jan, I need more of you. I want you in my life more than now. I want to wake up every morning with you lying next to me. I just don’t know how that can be accomplished without two divorces. I love you, Jan, and I’ve made my declaration. The rest is up to you and Roger.”

  “And Nadine.”

  Griffin’s voice: “Yes, my wife, though the way she loves Carolyn might have already made that consideration moot.”

  I faced Jan. She looked incredibly guilty for getting “caught” saying what she did. I had to make sure she needn’t feel that way. “I don’t blame Griff for wanting to wake up every morning next to you. He was half-right. It is up to you. I think we can both be in your life and be happy.”

  “I’m so mixed up. I love you both and I don’t know how to handle it.” Her worried face didn’t detract from her beauty. I wanted to hug and kiss and fuck her but now was not the time.

  “Do you want to wake up next to Griffin? Share more of his life with him?”

  “Yes, dammit, I do, so what the fuck am I supposed to do? I love you, even after setting this whole dilemma up in the first place. Do I have to make my own version of Sophie’s Choice?”

  “It’s not a Sophie’s Choice. You’re still in the paradigm that there are only two options and not considering there are others.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like a true open marriage. I’d sell this house in a minute and move in with the Langmans if you wanted to be with Griffin.”

  “What about you?” she asked me. I knew she meant sexually, unable to see beyond monogamy where most people dwell, even as they hide secret affairs and dalliances from their spouses and significant others.

  “I love you, Jan. I still want you, and I’m willing to take a small piece of you whenever the time is right. Don’t leave me. Don’t shut me out. You can love both of us, and I want you to be happy doing just that. Look at Nadine. She and Carolyn are in love and yet she still loves her husband. Do you honestly think that Griffin and Nadine don’t have sex anymore?’

  That caught her off-guard. “You think they do?” she asked.

  “Of course they do. They’re still sleeping in the same bed, aren’t they?”

  “Well, yeah, but Griff hasn’t said anything like that to me.”

  “He hasn’t denied it though, has he?”

  “No…no…not in so many words.”

  “But you assumed it, basically because you wanted to believe it to be. If he told you he was still fucking his wife would that have changed the way you feel about him?”

  “Not now.”

  “Then there are no boundaries, and no problem.”

  She threw her arms up and huffed, “Why are you taunting me like this? You wanted me to hook up with Griffin and now it sounds like you’re having second thoughts.”

  “Not in the least, sweetheart. I want what I’ve always wanted, for you to be happy and sexually fulfilled. You deserve that.”

  “So where do we go from here?”

  I thought about it for a moment then said, “Like I did at the beginning of this adventure, let me be the one to speak with Griffin about you sleeping over there more often. That is if that’s what you want to do.”

  “I’d like to… yes.”

  “Then that’s settled,” I said, “I’ll visit Griffin’s office to talk with him. Meanwhile I can check out Mary-Clair.”

  She saw my smile and responded, “You mean flirt with her, don’t you.”

  Yep, she had me.

  Later, after thinking that everything was settled, I got a text from He
ather wanting to know when I’d see her and when she could watch the video. Here I’d been lecturing my wife on how she needed to decide things, and I realized I had decisions of my own to make. The next step was to speak with Griffin. Then I needed to have a conversation with Heather. And then there was Nadine. After all, I took on this responsibility and now I had to see everything through.

  The following day Jan made no attempt to hide her call to Griffin, asking if they could spend the day together. I’d already texted back to Heather that I would call her and figure out when she could come over. Now that Jan would spend the day with Griffin I didn’t want it to look like I ‘swapped’ the women even if that was fundamentally the outcome. When I thought of Heather I got a tingle I couldn’t ignore. The tingle didn’t involve Nadine but I knew I couldn’t ignore her either. I gave her a call.

  “I understand your husband is going out,” I said. “How about some company?”

  “Sure, come on over later after Jan leaves. I’ll make you a great brunch.”

  “Ooooo, the domestic side of you I don’t get to see.”

  “Not many people do,” she admitted. I detected melancholy over the cellular airwaves.

  Jan was as giddy as a teenager on her first date. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and I wished her luck on having a nice day. She didn’t tell me what she was doing and I didn’t ask. I had my own Sunday agenda.

  When Nadine opened the door and welcomed me in with a kiss similar to the one I just got from my wife, I began to feel as I hoped I would, that we were coming together as something more than casual friends and that this was my home too. Would Jan come around to feeling that way?

  “You look like you could use a Bloody Mary. Mine are the best, if I may humbly say so.” She sat me at her kitchen table and set about making a pitcher of the spicy red elixir. She appeared full of exuberant energy which had me wondering if Jan’s giddiness this morning was contagious. If it was, I hoped I’d catch it too. As she made omelets and fried up some bacon I kidded her that it wasn’t exactly a light brunch, with her reply being, “With this body does it look like I go for light fare?” I commented that her womanly body was alright in my book. We sipped our Bloody Marys and got down to talking about what needed to be discussed.