I sit on the couch contemplating asking Ryan as he walks through my door. I gave him a key during my detox. He thought it was a good idea since I live alone. He wanted to be able to check on me, and if I didn’t answer the door, he would have a way to get in to make sure I wasn’t dead. Now he uses it almost every time he comes over, which is fine with me because I don’t have to answer the door.
We planned to go to the coffee shop today, but I’m not in the mood. I just want to sit on my couch and get lost in my own thoughts.
“Ready to go?” Ryan asks closing the door behind him.
I hesitantly ask, “Can we stay here today?”
“Of course.” He strides toward me and sits on the couch next to me. “Any reason you don’t want to go out?”
“I have a lot to do to get ready for tomorrow,” I lie.
“Hmm. Anything I can do to help?”
I pretend to think about it. “No, I’m good.” Because I have nothing left to do. “What are you going to do this weekend?” I ask, changing the subject.
“I don’t know. I don’t have anything planned. I guess I’ll go to a meeting and chill at home.”
Is he a perfect? Most guys would go out to a bar and get laid, but Ryan is talking about going to a meeting he has no reason to attend. “Do you ever skip a meeting?” I ask him.
“When I have to work, I don’t go, but otherwise, no.”
He talks about me needing to get out more, but I’m pretty sure he’s the one stuck in the same routine. A boring one at that. I contemplate what Emily said and decide, what the hell.
“Come with me.”
“What? Where?” he asks stretching his arm out on the back of the couch.
“This weekend. Emily told me I could bring someone with me, and you’re not busy. So, why not?”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” He sits up straighter on the couch, pushing himself into the corner that’s farthest away from me.
“Why? We spend every day together. What’s the difference if it’s here or there?”
“There’s no difference, but I’m your sponsor, Avery. I don’t think it’s appropriate,” he states cautiously.
“But, we’re friends, aren’t we?” I question.
“Yes.”
“Come on,” I say, scooting closer to him.
“Avery-”
I cut him off. “I need you there.” I decide to try a different tactic. “There will be drinking. I need you to come with me to make sure I don’t slip up.” The instant the words came out of my mouth that I need him, I knew it was true. I need him. Fact. That alone scares the shit out of me. Unfortunately, I can’t be sure I’ll be strong enough on my own.
He contemplates it for a minute, staring up at the ceiling before saying, “Okay. I’ll go.”
He gave in that easy, and I’m stunned. “Really?”
“Yes.” He gives me a small smile.
“Thank you.” I leap toward him and wrap my arms around his neck hugging him.
Chuckling, he brings an arm around me, hugging me back. “You’re welcome. I have nothing to wear to a wedding, though.”
I pull back from him. “This is a low-key wedding. I bet you have something in your closet that will be perfect.” I jump up and grab his hand, yanking him from the couch and through my front door.
We run down the steps, and a huge smile breaks across my face. This was a brilliant idea. I’ll have to remember to thank Emily for the unwanted advice I know she loves to give.
I rifle through his closet, sifting through shirts and pants. I come across a pair of tan slacks and find a blue button-down shirt that will compliment my bridesmaid dress perfectly.
“I told you that you would have something.” I hold out the shirt and pants for him to examine.
“Are you sure that’s dressy enough?” He looks over the ensemble and scratches the back of his head as if he’s unsure.
“Absolutely. I told you it’s not fancy. There probably won’t be more than twenty people there.” I place the clothes on his bed and rummage through his closet again. I find a black belt and dark brown dress shoes to match. “And, now your outfit is complete.” I lay the additional items with his clothes and glace over my selection. I did pretty well if I do say so myself.
“Okay. What else do I need? You said you were staying until Sunday afternoon.” He falls onto his bed and waits for me to answer.
“Swim trunks are a must. I would suggest bringing two other outfits, as well, for normal day activities.”
He gets up and throws everything into a bag much like I did, and he places the dress clothes in his closet, hanging them back up as to prevent them from getting wrinkled. “What time are we leaving?”
When he says we, it automatically puts a smile on my face. “Three.”
“Alright.”
By the end of the next day, I run out of my office so quickly I forget my phone. I make my way back to my office and grab my phone from underneath a mountain of paperwork. I don’t bother to look at the screen until I’m a block away from my apartment, and it makes me wish I didn’t go back for the damn thing in the first place.
NINE
I’ve been sitting on my bed for the last thirty minutes. I haven’t been able to move since I got home. The phone call officially ruined the good mood I managed to be in all day. I know Ryan will be at my door any minute, and I need to pull myself together. Not only do I need to put on a happy face for Ryan because I dragged him into this but also for Emily. She deserves all the happiness in the world, and there’s no way I’m going to be the one to ruin it.
I take a deep breath and peel myself off my bed. Just as I stand, the front door opens without the need for a key. I must have forgotten to lock it in my haze. I’m sure to hear about this.
“Avery?” Ryan shouts my name.
“In here,” I say as I throw a few last minute items in my bag.
“Why was your door unlocked?” he questions, crossing his arms in front of him.
I avoid his gaze by busying myself with my bag. “I forgot to lock it.” I let my long blond hair fall to the sides of my face, so he can’t see me roll my eyes as I plop back on my bed.
“You’re a beautiful woman living alone, Avery.” I hear his footsteps move closer to me. The bed dips as he sits down. He situates himself as close to me as he can, our bodies flush. “Hey,” he says, moving my hair out of my face and lifting my chin, so he can see me. He’s so close his breath falls on my face as he exhales, “remember to lock your door from now on, okay?”
My breathing has increased from how close our faces are. Our noses are almost touching, and I’m finding it hard not to stare at his mouth. “I will.” He runs his thumb across my cheekbone before he drops his hand back to his side.
He clears his throat and plasters a smile on his face. “Ready to go?”
I get to my feet, putting distance between us. Throwing the bag over my shoulder, I say, “Let’s get the show on the road.”
He chuckles as he stands from the bed, and we make our way outside. We throw our bags into the back seat of my silver Honda and hop in the car. I roll all the windows down to let in the cool breeze and crank up the stereo to indicate I don’t want to talk. I pull out of the parking lot and make the mindless drive to Emily’s house.
It’s not a long drive by any means, but twenty minutes in, I’m already antsy. It might be because we’re sitting in the traffic I was praying we would miss, but luck was not on my side. Neither Ryan nor I have said a word since we left my apartment because of the stereo blaring through the car. I don’t hear a single word of the music, though. My head is stuck in my own thoughts blocking out the world.
The phone call from earlier is haunting me. She left me a voicemail and that alone makes my stomach drop. Just the thought of hearing her voice gives me anxiety. I received the same phone call last month around this time. I know exactly what it’s about, but I don’t need the phone call to remind me. I wish she would leave me alon
e. I know I was once a part of her life, but I’m not anymore. I haven’t been for a long time. She hates me for everything. For being a part of her life. For dragging down the person she cherished the most. For causing her a heart wrenching ache that won’t ever go away. A hole that will never be replaced. She wants me to feel guilty for everything that happened, but what she doesn’t seem to understand is that I already live with the guilt every day.
My phone vibrates in my back pocket. I fish it out while keeping my foot firmly on the break in this damn traffic. I assume it’s Emily wondering if we’ve left, but as soon as I see the screen, I want to throw the damn thing out my car window. I slam my head on the back of my seat and inhale a deep breath. When the phone stops vibrating, I turn it off and toss it in the back seat, ignoring my past.
Ryan turns the music down to a low hum, which reminds me he’s in the car witnessing my temper tantrum.
“Who was that?” Ryan asks looking at me with a raised eyebrow.
“No one,” I breathe out.
In the next fifteen minutes, we drive half a mile. At this rate, we won’t be there until after the wedding.
“Pull off this exit,” he says, pointing to the exit lane three feet ahead of us.
“Why?”
“Do you want to keep sitting in this traffic?” he challenges.
There’s no way in hell I want to sit here for another minute. If I do, I’m likely to stab out my own eye. I turn the steering wheel and step on the gas, glad to be out of the fucking traffic.
“Turn right here.”
I follow his directions for five minutes before I park my car in front of a diner.
“I hope you’re hungry, but even if you’re not, this is better than the alternative.” He opens his car door and gets out.
Before I can get my hand on the door handle, the car door opens. I step out and see Ryan’s smile on the other side.
“Thanks.” I throw my purse over my shoulder and lock the car when he closes the door.
When we step inside the diner, the smell of grease meets my nose. I inhale and instantly my stomach rumbles. Loudly, might I add. Ryan glances over at me with an amused expression on his face, and I can’t help the laugh that slips through my lips. Ryan joins in my laughter, and I realize how much I like hearing him laugh. He’s always serious around me, so I like seeing this other side of him.
A waitress wearing a light green dress with a pale pink stripe running down each side interrupts our laughter. Atop her head sits a light green hat, which matches her dress. Her bleach blond curly hair is pulled into a clip, and bright red lipstick graces her mouth. She appears to be in her forties, and she’s exactly the kind of person I would imagine working at a diner in the eighties.
She leads us to a table with a metal tabletop and teal colored fake leather covering the chairs. She places the menus on the table and informs us she will return in a minute. Even the menus match the theme of the waitress’s dress and the chairs. I didn’t notice the name of the diner when we came in, but staring at the menu it informs me the name is Old School Diner. Well that explains it. You don’t see many places with this vibe, and I have to admit I love it.
“How’d you find this place?” I ask, flipping through the pages of the menu.
“I used to come here with my dad,” he says seeming unfazed.
We haven’t talked about his dad or mom much. I’m curious, but I’m not one to pry.
“Everything sounds delicious,” I say, trying to change the subject.
“They have the best burgers and shakes here.”
We continue to glance over the menu in silence though it’s me who does most of the looking. Ryan seems to have made his decision a while ago. When the waitress reappears, I shut my menu and give her my full attention.
“What can I get ya, sweetheart?” she asks, looking at me with her pen ready to take my order as if it’s the most important thing she’ll write all day.
“A cheeseburger with everything and a s’mores milkshake.”
“And for you, handsome?” she asks, giving him a big smile.
“I’ll have the same but with a strawberry milkshake instead.” Ryan takes my menu and hands them both to the waitress.
“Comin’ right up, sugar,” she says, smacking her gum.
I find it hard not to smile once she walks away.
“I think you have an admirer,” I say teasingly.
“Oh, whatever.” Ryan dismisses my comment with a wave of his hand.
We talk for a couple of minutes about our boring days, and I find myself in a better mood already. And, it’s all thanks to Ryan. He does seem a little preoccupied, and I’m not sure what’s troubling him. But, all I want to do is take his mind off whatever is bothering him like he has done for me countless times.
Suddenly, “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” blares from the overhead speakers. I’ve always loved this song. I absentmindedly hum along and dance in my chair. Ryan grins at me as I begin to sing off tune. We are the only two in the diner aside from the workers, so I jump out of my chair and dance to the music while singing. I know I look like an idiot, but it’s worth it to see Ryan smiling widely at me. I belt out the lyrics and throw my hands in the air, waving them around haphazardly. I dance next to Ryan and get in his face, singing into my hand as if it’s a microphone. I continue to dance around our table while singing terribly, and loudly, until the song ends.
Ryan shakes his head at me. “You are ridiculous.” He gives me his signature gorgeous smile, not the half smile I’ve been getting all day.
Mission accomplished, and definitely worth any humiliation. “Why, thank you.”
The waitress drops our food off at the table and silently chuckles. “We don’t get much entertainment around here. Thanks for the show, sweetheart.”
I stand from my chair and take a bow. “It was my pleasure.”
She saunters off, and we eat our food. This is the best burger I have ever had. It’s not a burger with a thin slice of meat, but rather, the whole burger stands at least five inches tall. And don’t get me started on the milkshake. It’s fan-fucking-tastic.
After we eat, we head back out to my car to get on our way.
As I open the door, Ryan stops me. I turn to him, perplexed.
“I’ll drive. You seemed like you were miserable earlier. Give me directions, and we’ll be there in no time.”
I relinquish the keys without a fight and make my way over to the opposite side of the car. I drop my happy ass down on the passenger seat. Taking off my shoes, I stretch out my legs and wiggle my toes.
“Comfortable?” Ryan asks teasingly.
“Definitely.”
“Good, I wouldn’t want you to strain yourself too much.”
I turn my head and stick my tongue out at him.
I call out directions to him when needed, but otherwise, I lie back in my seat and hum along to the music playing. We make it to Emily’s two hours later than I told her we would arrive. I am surprised she hasn’t called to yell at me for being so late. Then I remember I threw my phone in the back seat. I hurriedly take off my seatbelt and swivel around in search of my phone. I find it on the floor and quickly power it back on. I wait anxiously for it to reboot, and when it does, I notice it has six missed calls. Three of which are from Emily. Even though we just parked in her driveway, I hurriedly dial her number.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I say as soon as she answers the phone.
“Where the hell are you?” she demands.
“In your driveway,” I say right before the line goes dead.
I hop out of the car, but before I can take one step, Emily’s front door flies open. She runs toward me barely stopping before she runs into me.
“Are you hurt?” she questions.
“No.”
“Was your phone dead?”
“No,” I say nervously.
“Then why didn’t you call me? And why are you late? You could have sent me a text,” she fires off b
efore I can answer.
“My phone was off, there was traffic, and I know I should have sent you a text.” I answer all of her questions before she yells out more.
“God, Avery, I was worried about you.”
“I’m sorry. But, I’m okay.”
She takes a deep breath. “Don’t scare me again.”
“I won’t.” I give her a hug and squeeze her as tightly as I can. I’m lucky to have someone like Emily who cares as much about me as she does.
I let her go, and her attention focuses behind me. “You must be Ryan.”
“You would be right.” He walks around the car to stand next to us.
She throws her arms around his neck and hugs him. Ryan is stiff for a minute before he embraces her back. I think I hear her whisper a thank you, but I can’t be sure. When she releases him, a small smile lines her face. He does have that effect on people.
“Come inside, and I’ll show you around.”
The outside of their house is a beautiful brick pattern that is painted white with colorful flowers lining the front entrance. It’s a spectacular house. One, I could never dream of owning. As soon as we walk through the door, we can see the ocean shoreline through the sliding glass doors in the back of the house. The beautiful, open concept main floor has a sleek modern design. The walls and furniture are decorated in cool colors making the space appear even larger than it is.
We make our way onto the patio that looks over the beach where her wedding will be taking place. I smile thinking about how far she and Bryan have come. They have overcome so many obstacles together, and I know they will continue to help each other grow. A small tear travels down my face before I wipe it away.
Ryan stands next to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder. “Everything okay?” he whispers in my ear.
“It’s perfect. Happy tears, I promise,” I say as he places a kiss on the side of my head and draws me closer to his side.
“When are we going to the hotel?” Emily asks me, pulling my attention away from Ryan.
“Oh, umm…whenever you want.” I completely forgot we aren’t staying here tonight. Where is Ryan going to stay?
Escaping the Edge Page 6