by T. Collins
Jenna D
Do they do them as nose rings too?
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Hey Its Alicia
Thumbs up if you were an original Olivia fan before EVERYONE got into her.
Evil Liam 13
Thumbs up if you’re an annoying hipster who needs to get back to the organic juice bar.
Hey Its Alicia
Whatever dude I liked her before EVERYONE else, deal with it haterz.
SUNDAY JUNE 18TH
I saw Charlie coming home with a shopping trolley this afternoon. He wouldn’t say what it was for, but I saw he’d tried to set up a channel of his own called ‘Dare Charlie’ where he promised to take on any dare, no matter how dangerous. It had only been viewed 152 times, but he already had a few comments:
Wacky Waving Inflatable Imran
Ride a shopping trolley down some stairs.
Dan the Mansplainer
Go to the furniture store and use a display toilet for real. We’re talking number twos here, not just pee.
Troll Express
Eat a tin of cat food without barfing.
James Flames
Light a firecracker and throw it down your parents’ toilet.
Dominic The Insane
Wake up your family with an air horn in the night.
Was Charlie planning on working his way through all these? If so, I’m glad I discovered it in time. If the first dares hadn’t killed him, the last one definitely would have done.
I showed his video to Mum and Dad and he’s been grounded for a month. But rather than thanking me for saving his life and, more importantly, our toilet, they got angry with me for putting the idea of vlogging into his head.
Vlogs have nothing to do with it. Idiots will always find ways to do stupid stuff. The day after shopping carts were invented some fool probably rode one down a staircase. If Charlie had really been copying me, he’d have made an intelligent video and attracted awesome subscribers rather than idiots who want him to injure himself for their amusement.
MONDAY JUNE 19TH
My week got off to the worst possible start. Did Charlie actually go through with the air horn dare? Did I fall down a sinkhole? Did I wake up convinced it was the weekend?
Worse – Sebastian returned to my life. I’ve done such a good job of avoiding him since the TV show, I almost forgot he existed.
This morning he was waiting outside the school gates with a crumpled piece of paper. He shoved it towards me and said he was offering to be my agent. He said he was pleased to see I’d started an honest vlog and that it was great to see someone telling the complete truth about absolutely everything they’d ever done.
This was of course a threat. He was saying that unless I signed, he’d tell my new fans about the whole Destiny thing. No doubt he was planning to post the link to our TV disaster to every video I ever made.
I ripped up his contract and walked off without saying anything.
Now I’m worrying about Cheese Breath’s threat. I’ve given up on the New York trip, so it doesn’t really matter if I agree to give him half of whatever money I make from the new channel. But it’s the principle. I can’t let him win.
9PM
I just got an email from Crystal Montague thanking me for promoting Emojearings and telling me she got a ‘totally amazeballs spike in traffic’ after my video.
Really? I openly criticize her earrings and still she thanks me. Goes to show there’s no such thing as bad publicity.
That could be a pretty good angle, I suppose. I could charge companies to bitch about their products, knowing everyone will buy them anyway.
I’m tempted to ask Crystal if I can have the money I turned down, seeing as though she got her traffic spike anyway. But then I’d have to admit it in my honest vlog, so it wouldn’t be worth it.
TUESDAY JUNE 20TH
Sebastian came over to me in the canteen this lunchtime and said his offer was still on. In other words, I need to employ him as my ‘agent’ soon or he’d tell the fans about Destiny.
I made up my mind about what to do straight away.
THE TRUTH ABOUT ME | OLIVIA TELLS THE TRUTH
When I started this vlog, I said I’d be as honest as I could. But I didn’t explain why that was so important for me.
The truth is that earlier this year I started a vlog called The Destiny Channel. I wrote the words for the videos, but got my friend Emma to read them out. Some people thought this was dishonest and I was confronted about it on a TV show. After that, I deleted the channel and started this vlog instead.
Today the same boy who confronted me on that show, Sebastian, has threatened to tell you I was behind the Destiny vlog.
So I’m telling you myself. There you go, Sebastian. You can’t threaten to tell everyone because I’ve already done it myself. Now go and find someone else to blackmail.
I uploaded this video tonight and waited for the comments to come in. I had prepared myself in advance and was ready to delete the channel if things turned sour. But it didn’t happen.
If anything, this new video was more popular than the others. It even looks like the old Destiny fans have finally managed to find my new channel. I recognized a few of their names in the comment section:
Poppy M
Love your videos, please keep making them.
DestinyMonster02
2:17 That guy: Ew …
xxFashionGirlxx
OMG I love this video we are so alike.
destinyisperfect
This channel is Sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo perfect.
It was great to see these old names again. And it gave me an idea for the next video.
WEDNESDAY JUNE 21ST
I deliberately hadn’t included any links to Sebastian’s channel in my last video, as I didn’t want to feel like I was setting my fans on him. But one of them posted this comment:
DestinyMonster02
I’ve found the channel of the creep who tried to blackmail Olivia. Let’s all go there and school the fool. bit.ly/1VTAOcO
A few minutes later, comments were piling up underneath Sebastian’s latest gaming video.
DatFreakyGrrl
Threatening people sucks. This channel sucks. You suck.
Poppy M
Thumbs up if you think Sebastian is a loser.
SHOUTING LAUREN
SO MANY THUMBS
xxFashionGirlxx
OMG we are so not alike.
destinyisperfect
Sebastian is soooo not perfect.
Evil Liam 13
Thanks to whoever sent me to this channel. I will have fun.
Sebastian didn’t respond to any of the comments, but I saw him wincing at his phone in the lunch hall, so I’m sure he’s seen them.
Despite everything Sebastian has done to me, I felt a little sorry for him. I won’t mention him again, and hopefully the fans will forget about him. I don’t want to be the ringleader of an angry mob, even if he did try to blackmail me and ruin my life.
THURSDAY JUNE 22ND
OLIVIA’S TRUTH VLOG INTRODUCES EMMA | OLIVIA TELLS THE TRUTH
Hi everyone. I’ve got a very special guest star today. It’s my best friend Emma. Ta-dah!
Emma is an actress and she’s in my class, and she appeared on my last channel too, as some of you may remember. She’ll be starring in Grease soon, but she’s going to pop in for challenges between rehearsals.
Today it’s the marshmallow challenge. We both have to stuff our mouths full and try to describe something. It could be a film or a TV show or a book, anything really.
[At this point I opened a bag of marshmallows and we shoved them into our mouths. The rest of the video was pretty much us going ‘MMMMM UUUUGHHH MMMMM’ and giggling.]
Even though I made it as clear as possible that Emma was not Destiny, the fans took
no notice. As far as they’re concerned, their heroine has returned. Oh well. At least no one can accuse me of misleading them this time.
Chloe C
OMG Destiny is back. I’m so happy I want to cry.
They Call Me Super Jennifer
Olivia and Destiny in the same video = best crossover ever.
Clara Tha Smart Cookieee
Hi! Blindfold makeup challenge next. Pleeeease! Byeeee.
xxFashionGirlxx
OMG you have a best friend too Destiny. We are so alike.
SHOUTING LAUREN
DESTINY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY
Evil Liam 13
Love what you’ve done with your hair since the last time we saw you, Destiny. The way you’ve combed it over your top lip is amazing.
destinyisperfect
Shut up Destiny and Olivia are flawless #Fandom #Perfection
Wildcat Katherine
Destiny and Olivia BFF. Epic.
The Justine Rodriguez Show
Anyone who disliked this LEAVE EARTH NOW.
Poppy M
Destiny Fam are back!!!
I can hardly blame the fans for getting confused. Emma’s much more like Destiny since she left the Swans. She’s even stopped doing bitchy rest face. I used to notice her switch into friendly mode when I started filming, but now she’s like that all the time.
FRIDAY JUNE 23RD
Jasmine came over at lunch today and I braced myself for whatever insult she had lined up. But I could never have prepared for what she actually said.
Apparently one of her cousins sent her a link to my channel. Now she’s found out I’m popular online she wants me to, get this, JOIN THE SWANS.
I was actually speechless. Jasmine said that she knew it must be a shock, but I really was popular enough to be accepted into their gang.
What part of ‘I hate bitchy popular cliques’ doesn’t she understand? I can hardly make a video mocking her gang one minute and join the next. How would my next video go? ‘Sorry I was wrong, popular gangs are awesome really and you’re all a bunch of nerdy losers’?
Instead of saying anything, I stared out of the window and blanked her. Loads of people stopped to watch as she clicked her fingers in my face and said, ‘Hello?’ I tried really hard to do bitchy resting face, but I ended up laughing.
No doubt she’ll try and get back at me. But when she does, I’ll just make a video about her. And that’s why you don’t mess with a vlogger.
SATURDAY JUNE 24TH
My online fame must have spread to my old school. Yesterday I got a text message from Jess saying how totally awesome my vlog was and asking why I didn’t tell her about it. Er, because she didn’t reply to my last five messages and I thought she wasn’t interested in me anymore.
Now Sam, Han and even Steph have also miraculously remembered my number and texted me.
It’s all very strange. View counts are just numbers on a screen, but they have magic powers. They can make bitchy cliques decide you’re cool enough and they can make people from your old school suddenly remember they’re friends with you.
I’ll get round to replying to their texts eventually, but I won’t do it right away. Emma’s got a night off from rehearsals, so she’s coming round to record a whisper challenge.
10PM
BIG news. Emma’s going out with Callum in real life now!
*screams and fans face*
That’s better.
When Emma arrived I asked her how rehearsals for Grease were going, and she kept blushing. I knew something was up, but it took me ages to get the truth out of her.
Apparently Callum broke up with his old girlfriend Megan a couple of weeks ago. Things haven’t been the same between them since a group of angry girls accused him of being a cheater and threw fries at them.
I’d like to say I reacted in a mature and supportive way, but the truth is I blasted ‘Summer Nights’ out of my speakers while Emma sank on to my bed with her head in her hands.
It’s strange. Since I deleted the vlog, Emma has become much more like Destiny and now she’s actually going out with Callum. If I’d kept it going it wouldn’t even be that fake anymore. Definitely weird.
FRIDAY JULY 21ST
I’ve been so busy with my channel that I’d forgotten all about this diary. I’ve just realized I haven’t updated it for almost a month.
I record a video every day now. Whether there’s something I want to get off my chest or I just want to tell everyone how bored I am. Some take off and some don’t. It’s hard to predict.
My most popular video, currently on 573,573 views and rising, is one where I list facts about myself, such as my favourite chocolate bars and music. I have no idea why that went viral. I tried to watch it back to see if I accidentally said something clever, but I still can’t stand looking at myself on screen so I gave up.
Another that seems popular is one about my failed attempt to start a vlog for Loki. I linked to his original video in the description, and even that’s had over 50,000 views now. I bought him a fuzzy pink mouse stuffed with catnip to celebrate but he soon reduced it to fluffy roadkill. But, honestly, I’m sort of glad the Loki vlog didn’t work. It’s a nightmare directing a star that naps for practically the whole day.
I’ve even been invited to The International Vlogging Conference in Seattle next month. They’ve asked me to take part in a panel calling ‘Finding Your Vlogging Voice’. Seeing as though I’m there to promote the Olivia Tells the Truth vlog, I should tell the truth and say I just talk into the camera and upload it. But that won’t take long, and I don’t have any other skills to entertain the crowd, so I’d better prepare a bit more.
It took me ages to get permission to go. In the end I had to agree to let Dad come too, though he’s promised not to attempt to talk to anyone about techie stuff. I also told Mum I’d mention her channel to all the fans. And I will, if someone asks what the worst vlog I’ve ever seen is.
The organizers are paying for my flight and hotel, but they couldn’t afford to cover Emma’s costs too. She’s a regular guest on my vlog now, so I thought the fans would be upset if they couldn’t meet her. Then two days ago I got an ad revenue payment that was enough to pay for her flight and hotel, so now she can come along too. I just hope she doesn’t spend the whole time going on and on about Callum. Yeah I’m happy for them, but it gets boring.
The school trip to New York is happening this week. It’s weird to think how desperate I was to go. Now it’s come round I don’t care about it at all. I’ve got my mind on much more exciting things.
It still doesn’t seem real. After trying so hard to make vlogs about a perky fashion-lover and a disgruntled cat, the most successful one turned out to be me, staring at my computer, saying whatever came into my head.
But that’s the great thing about vlogging. Whoever you are, whatever you’re like, there may be thousands out there just like you. Maybe hundreds of thousands. And they might want to listen to what you’ve got to say. To find out, all you have to do is record and upload.
ALSO BY T. COLLINS IN PRINT AND EBOOK