Weapon of Desire

by Brook, L M

  CHAPTER 2

  I wake to the sound of Motown playing in the kitchen with Daniel singing along, as the smell of coffee and toast wafts through to the bedroom. I look at the clock. It is 6.45am. It feels so cosy and luxurious in my new nightdress as memories of last night flood my senses.

  “Good Morning.” Daniel enters the half lit room with a good morning kiss and a tray of breakfast. He is fresh from the shower and smells of body wash fragrance and toothpaste. His hair hangs still damp as he sits beside me on the bed noisily eating toast.

  “Morning.” I rise upwards against the headboard stretching to claim my mug of coffee. “When do you get back?”

  “Monday next week.” Daniel flicks on the TV crossing his legs.

  “What time is your train to London?” I stroke his back where droplets of water trickle down slowly.

  “8.40.” He turns and smiles “You better scoot if you’re driving; we need to leave by 7.40 at the latest.”

  I pull back the duvet and swivel my legs over the edge of the bed. Standing I let the nightdress drop to the floor, stepping out to walk slowly towards the bathroom. Daniel looks up and smirks. “Behave, we’ve not got time!”

  “I don’t know what you mean.” I provocatively stand in the doorway to the bathroom.

  Daniel seems edgy in the car and fidgets with his phone which continually bleeps text messages. The train station is very busy as usual as I pull into a parking bay. Daniel collects his bag from the boot while we stand at the rear of the car. Pulling me close he kisses my forehead. “Call you later,” he says before he darts among the taxis.

  I climb back inside my car and can hear buzzing coming from the foot well. As I reach down I retrieve Daniel’s mobile phone from the floor. Damn it, he must have dropped it as he got out. I must try to find him before he gets on the train especially as clients may want to contact him while he is away. I quickly open the car door and run across the bus and taxi lanes entering the main foyer. As I look around I can see him standing in the ticketing queue. Moving in his direction I suddenly feel as though I’ve been hit by a bolt of lightning and I’m instantly paralysed. Melissa Stone, his work colleague arrives and grabs him around the neck. He turns to greet her with a smouldering kiss.

  My heart stops as I sharply inhale as though I’ve been punched in the stomach. Slowly backing out of the foyer I drop his phone into my jacket pocket. Everything is in slow motion as I cross the road retracing my steps back to my car. The bustle at the station is drowned out by the deafness in my head. My brain isn’t responding as I sit in silence, staring ahead at nothing. My stomach is doing somersaults and I abruptly feel sick. The phone buzzes in my pocket and jolts me back to life.

  I curiously withdraw the mobile, sitting in disbelief at what I’ve just witnessed. I begin to make mental excuses that Daniel is just saying hello but I know what I saw wasn’t just a friendly greeting. I look down at the phone to see two texts from Melissa. I open them up and tears fill my eyes as the evidence unfolds in black and white.

  “Can't wait to see you. M XXX”

  “Do not bother packing pyjamas, you will not need them!!!! M XXXX”

  I feel like a fool. He was so loving last night. How could he do this to me? Tears fall down my cheeks as I realize the enormity of what is happening. Why did I not suspect anything? Were there signs that I just didn’t read? After what feels like hours of sobbing in the train station car park, I wipe my face and nose on the sleeve of my jacket and throw the phone into my handbag. My reflection in the mirror reveals red eyes and cheeks stained with mascara. I try to establish some control over my external image by reapplying some makeup while my inside crumbles and collapses.

  I drive to the Dorton estate in a haze. My voice and smile have all but disappeared as I seek the peace and refuge of my office. My emails build up and my eyes glaze over as I sit for hours in silent bewilderment. Finally I pick up Daniel’s mobile from my bag. I have a sudden urge to know whether I am imagining this. Perhaps I’m over exaggerating?

  Scrolling down the replies to Melissa I notice that he was texting her while we were in the restaurant last night.

  “Breakfast in bed on Wednesday, what would you like apart from me? D XX”

  I slam down the phone into my desk drawer and stare at the computer screen. Feeling numb I question if I really know Daniel at all. Was this the same person who made love to me last night? Did he ever really love me during our four year relationship? My anger grows until I sit clenched fisted and breathing heavily.

  Suddenly my mobile rings and, although I don’t recognise the number, I answer.

  “Hello.”

  It’s him. The Cheat! The liar!

  “Darcey, have you seen my phone? I think I dropped it in the car or may have left it at your place.” He sounds flustered. He is probably worried that I’d see his messages.

  “No, I haven’t found it.” I try to sound disinterested.

  “Can you email me if you find it?” he pleads.

  “Ok.”

  “Are you ok?” Daniel sounds suspicious.

  “Fine” I quip pressing end, switching off my phone and throwing it into my bag.

  I take a deep breath and start to feel a little empowered, armed with my new knowledge. I decide to busy myself with work. I start to plough through the emails and find the process mundane but therapeutic. Amazingly I’ve an extraordinary overwhelming feeling of strength that brings clarity and a fighting spirit. Daniel can go screw himself, I think. That was the last time he screws me.

  An email pings onto my screen.

  “Hi Darcey, are we still on for drinks, pasta and a movie tonight?

  Lola X”

  I look at the pile of work and tell myself that this perhaps isn’t a good time to meet any of the Frances family. I let Lola down stating work commitments and then settle for cracking on with the workload waiting for me. Skipping lunch I survive on coffee, knowing that I need to keep my distance from others. Any sensitive questions may just tip me over the edge.

  My email pings again.

  “Hi Darcey,

  I hope you enjoyed your Birthday evening. Fill me in later.

  Could you bring with you finance reports for the Senior Management Meeting.

  See you at 2pm.

  Anthony

  Head of Strategy and Development”

  I’d forgotten about the SMT meeting. I quickly locate files and begin printing relevant documents. Stapling packs together my mind wanders again remembering Anthony’s grin as he watched me dribble strawberry juice down my chin. I smile for the first time today. Replenishing my lip gloss, I make my way down the corridors to Anthony’s office.

  As I arrive all members are present. They cheerfully chat while seated around the huge oak table. Patricia was busy pouring tea and coffee. Anthony looks up from a document while seated on the leather Chesterfield. He greets me warmly with a smile.

  “Hi Darcey, how was your evening?”

  I manage to produce a smile “It was lovely thank you.”

  “Where did Daniel take you?” he persists.

  I can do this, I tell myself. “Oscars the French Restaurant on the waterfront.”

  “Oh yes, I’ve eaten there, wonderful food.” Anthony stands and moves towards me. “Did you bring the reports? We have a lot to cover in our first meeting.”

  “Yes, I have them here.” I sense a little impatience as I hand out copies relocating myself to a vacant chair.

  Anthony walks up and down and adopts a stern master of his ship approach. I watch his body move slowly and his expressive hands as he picks up the reports.

  “Welcome all. I want to start by confirming the structure and content of our future meetings.” He stoops forwards to lean on the table, as though he is about to perform press ups. His cream shirt looks fresh against his golden tan.

  “We will discuss or flag up any staffing, premises and operational issues as they arise. I want to know what is going on from the blocked toilets to
the delivery of today’s menu. This will enrich our future decision making when processes and staffing are reviewed.”

  He straightens and scans every face. The room is silent.

  “I will also meet quarterly to discuss strategy, the way forward and current progress to meet those goals.”

  I suddenly fix my glare on his sparkly hazel eyes, his rugged chin and warm mouth. I imagine how resourceful he could be with those lips. He catches my eyes in a stare and I blush looking down at my reports.

  “I want you all to fully understand these confidential documents, where we’ve been and where we are now. We need to strategically discuss the future, make concrete plans that will withstand further growth and also keep our operational costs low as we swiftly identify and implement crucial changes. This will involve making us leaner but we’ll be in a strong position for future development.”

  The room is still silent as I find the nerve to steal another look. He is so attractive and I now find myself allowing honest feelings and thoughts to engulf me. Prior to Melissagate my whole world was Daniel. Now everything has changed. I sadden at the thought of last night and how wonderful it had been. I look down at the report and again my mind wanders further. Will I be strong enough to get over him? Could I forgive him? My head is completely zoned out of the meeting until I hear Anthony abruptly call my name.

  “Darcey, I have asked you three times to explain the report. If you can’t be here in the room with us then leave!” Anthony’s eyes are wild as he waits for my response. His stance is harsh, leaning forward on fists, directly grilling me. I contemplate whether to respond but his face is furious with my lack of interest in the meeting.

  Looking around the room I can’t muster a voice or the brain power to clarify the report. I feel ridiculous as I desperately try to restrain my tears. Today is all too much, my emotions break loose and I no longer have control. I pick up the papers in front of me and immediately stand to leave. The room is deadly silent as I close the door behind me.

  Reaching the shelter of my office I hide my face in my arms as I lean over my desk sobbing like a reprimanded child. I find myself staring at the paper laid under my arms. It is a note from Angela informing me that Daniel has called numerous times but can’t get any answer on the mobile. He is wondering if everything is ok. I gradually calm myself taking in deep breaths as I slowly raise my head staring at the words. Instantly I smile at the thought that I’m causing him concern right now. What a fool I am, everyone on the SMT will think that I’m pathetic and I’m so much stronger than this.

  Ignoring Daniel’s calls I decide to let him sweat. Drafting an email I am determined to show Anthony and SMT that I’m focused and ready to assist them in understanding the detail of the reports.

  To: SMT

  Please excuse my behaviour this afternoon. I am free this afternoon should anyone wish to drop by my office to go over the reports.

  Apologies

  Darcey Brooks - Business & Operations Manager

  The time is coming up to 5pm and feeling pleased with finishing another piece of work I settle back in my chair. The building is very quiet this afternoon and nobody, not even Angela, has approached my office. My eyes feel sore from staring at the computer screen for so long and not forgetting a year’s worth of tears falling in one day. I make a deal with myself – no more tears wasted on that man!

  There is a gentle knock at the door and Anthony’s head appears.

  “Hi, is it ok for me to come in?” He smiles.

  “Of course.” I can’t help but grin at his obvious anticipation of my supposed anger towards him.

  Anthony moves closer to my desk with a pitiful look on his face and a coffee in his hand.

  “Darcey, I’m so sorry for speaking to you like that. Please accept this coffee as a token of my sincere apology.” Anthony places the welcome coffee in front of me.

  “Anthony, I’m the one who should be saying sorry, I wasn’t paying attention. My mind was elsewhere.” I notice his eyes trailing Angela’s note from Daniel on my desk and then looks back at me.

  “Is everything ok?” he questions with a frown, sitting on the edge of my desk.

  “Not really but be assured I’m dealing with the issue. I’m sorry I brought the problem into work and it will not happen again.” I take a sip of the coffee that tastes fantastic especially with the view of Anthony perched on my desk.

  “Is there anything I can do to help?” Anthony’s eyes are honest.

  He looks scrummy as I swiftly imagine lots of things he could do to make me feel better.

  “No, I’ll be fine, nothing that a good bottle of wine can’t sort.” I smile appreciatively at his genuine concern.

  “Darcey, here’s my mobile number.” He takes a pen from his pocket and scribbles his number on Angela’s note. “If you need to talk at all, any hour, please call.” He pushes the paper towards me

  “Enjoy your wine!” He adds and then turns and leaves the room.

  I stare at his number and then delve into my handbag to retrieve my phone. Switching my phone on there are seven unknown missed calls. I call the number from my office telephone to satisfy myself that it’s nothing urgent. The phone rings and then redirects to a voicemail message.

  “Hi you’re through to Melissa Stone, Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I’m available.”

  That bitch. I should have guessed he’d be calling from her phone. I disconnect the call and then enter Anthony as a new contact. I continue to crack on with more work. What is there to go home to? I’m better off with my mind occupied until I’m so tired that I fall into bed.

  An email appears in the corner of my screen.

  “Hi baby,

  I left messages with Angela but I assume you didn’t get them.

  I’ve just reached the hotel. Picked up a new mobile at the airport. I’ll text you my new number when it’s fully charged.

  Lola tells me you cancelled and working late.

  Are you ok?

  Daniel X”

  I’m still angry and can’t bring myself to reply as I stare at the message. What do I say “I saw you!” or “Have a lovely evening with Melissa.” I don’t want to tackle this over text, phone or email. I want to see his face and watch him squirm when I throw the evidence at him. He’s not getting off that easily.

  I rub my eyes as I start to feel tired. Wow it’s nearly 7pm. Another email pings into the corner of my screen.

  “GO HOME, I can still see your light on.

  Go get that bottle of wine.

  Anthony”

  I quickly respond.

  “OK bossy! Thank you for the coffee.

  Darcey”

  Immediately he replies

  “You’re welcome.

  Anthony”

  I decide to call it a day. A frozen ready meal and a bottle are waiting for me at home as my stomach growls.

  My evening is a blur. I get hideously drunk and ceremoniously cut up the night dress Daniel bought me before forcing down a few mouthfuls of Boeuf Bourguignon and collapse exhausted into bed.

  Thursday starts a brighter day. I shower bopping around to Beyoncé and then dress in my tailored black trouser suit and blue silk blouse with black court shoes. I didn’t respond to Daniel when he tried to call last night and feel stronger today, ready to carry out this charade until he returns. I enter his new number onto my phone and as soon as I finish a text message bleeps through from Daniel.

  “Morning Baby, please call me. I’m worried about you.

  Daniel X”

  My drive to Dorton is invigorating, another clear blue morning. As I reach the Airfield security they wave me through with a smile. I park my car and decide to text Daniel. I didn’t want to give him any reason to plan his excuses before I confronted him.

  “Hi, I’ve been busy with work. Speak to you later.

  Darcey”

  As I throw my phone back into my bag Nick pulls into the car park with a wave.

&nb
sp; Anthony emerges through his rear car door and finishes off his tie as he chats to Nick through the front window. He looks smart but casual in a light grey suit and fresh white shirt.

  I’m aware that I shouldn’t interrupt their deep discussion and therefore make my way to my office. Dumping my files I turn on the computer and decide to go in search of a coffee before tackling the first wave of emails. The staffroom is buzzing. Duncan Shaw, Estates Manager approaches me and I feel a little embarrassed as I’ve not seen the SMT since I walked out of the meeting.

  “How are you this morning?” Duncan swirls a spoon in his strong coffee. He is a friendly guy who’s always very helpful and would do anything for me should I ask him.

  “I’m good, so sorry about yesterday. Please feel free to drop by anytime and I can discuss the reports with you.” I awkwardly break eye contact to make my coffee.

  Duncan moves closer and whispers in my ear. “You know I thought he was really tough on you. Sure your mind was obviously on something else but he was quite aggressive when you didn’t reply the third time.” Duncan stops to smile and takes a sip of coffee. “I could see he was instantly annoyed when you left the room, he didn’t expect you to do that! You showed him, don’t mess with Darcey!” Duncan winks and walks towards other colleagues.

  I smile to myself thinking that I possibly may have more power over Anthony Hunt than I thought and perhaps he feels threatened at the loss of control. I felt better that other members didn’t think any less of me and that perhaps, some were pleased that I walked out in response to his rant.

  I make my way back to my office and sit at my desk as another message from Daniel pings onto my screen.

  “Darcey I can tell you’re unhappy with me about something, what is it?

  Daniel X”

  I’m determined to not give him the pleasure especially as we’re not face to face although I want to give him a snippet of information to antagonise him more.

  “Daniel

  I found your phone but I WILL NOT discuss anything with you until you return.

  Hope you both enjoyed the evening.