VITTORIO'S WOMAN

by Kimberley Reeves

“Of course I do, why else would I be so furious with you for seducing her?”

  Simon hit her with a dazzling smile. “Good, then you will not mind when I persuade Lilly to become my wife.”

  Milana studied his face for a moment, her eyes lighting up with excitement when she realized he wasn’t just trying to placate her.

  “My God, you’re serious! Simon, the eternal bachelor has finally met his match.”

  “That I have,” he said thickly. “I love her, Milana, and I intend to make her my wife.”

  “When are you going to ask her?”

  “As soon I am sure she feels the same way and…when I can walk again.”

  “Oh, Simon,” Milana said tearfully, “you don’t know how happy it makes me to hear you say you’ll walk again. And I’m thrilled about you and Lilly.” She stood up and ruffled his hair, even knowing how much it irritated him. “Of course, you have me to thank for bringing her here, though I don’t know what I would have done if she hadn’t coincidentally been a physical therapist.”

  Simon looked up at her curiously. “What do you mean?”

  “Well, I can’t take all the credit,” she said with a sheepish grin, “and to be honest, at first I thought she was just another one of your female companions.” She laughed when he gave an impatient growl. “Okay, okay, the truth is you kept calling her name when you were in the hospital. It took some doing to find out who she was since all I had to go by was her first name, but as luck would have it, one of your business associates knew who she was.”

  “But I searched for Lilly for months and could not find her,” he said in astonishment.

  Milana shot him a look of superiority. “For a man who prides himself about his ruthlessness and cunning in obtaining something he wants, I’m surprised you failed to locate her. It’s a good thing little sister was watching out for you,” she tossed him a smug smile as she waltzed out of his room.

  There were at least half a dozen questions he wanted to ask, but she was gone before he’d even opened his mouth to pose the first one. Simon had no doubt he had called out Lilly’s name while he was lying battered and broken in the hospital because he had dreamed of her often. Poor Milana must have been driven to find Lilly out of pure desperation because the good Lord knew she’d done just about everything she could to snap him out of the miserable state he’d been in.

  With a renewed sense of determination to make Lilly his woman permanently, Simon called her into his room.

  ***

  Lilly angled a sidelong glance at the suitcase sitting just inside her closet. Three times she’d dug it out and carried it to the bed and three times she’d hauled it back again. There were some good solid reasons why she should leave, all of them personal. But there were also some very good arguments for staying; professional and personal reasons that outweighed those for leaving by just enough of a margin she was left dangling in a nerve wracking limbo of indecision.

  With a heavy sigh, she moved out onto the balcony, mostly to get that stupid suitcase out of her line of vision but also because she found the sight and sounds of the ocean soothing. It usually helped clear her mind, but with all the thoughts and emotions that had been ping ponging around inside of her ever since Simon left this morning, it did little more than dull the headache she’d been sporting for the past few hours.

  It didn’t help that she hadn’t heard from Milana yet, especially since Lilly knew the doctor’s appointment had been hours ago. There were only two scenarios she could think of; they were out celebrating the good news and had simply forgotten to call her, or Simon hadn’t regained his sight and Milana was now trying to console him.

  Regardless of the outcome of Simon’s visit, it still left her with the burning question as to whether she should stay or go. He needed her; that was the biggest factor. He wouldn’t admit it of course, because Simon Vittorio would never admit to needing anyone. He wouldn’t accept another physical therapist in her place if she left, Lilly honestly believed that, and she also believed Simon would fall back into that dark world he’d been in before she arrived. He would allow himself to waste away until he was only a shell of the man he once was, and it was that thought more than anything that made her want to stay.

  Oh, she wasn’t some great miracle worker and she certainly didn’t have any mystical healing powers, but in her heart Lilly had faith Simon would walk again. But the process would be much more difficult and take considerably more time if he didn’t maintain his physical health. And right now, she was the only one who hadn’t been bullied into leaving. So she had to stay.

  Except…except she’d been stupid enough to fall in love with him. And because she hadn’t made Simon listen this morning, he’d gotten it in his head that she was some sort of nymphomaniac who hopped from bed to bed without any regard as to the risks she was taking. How was she supposed to be around him every day for the unforeseeable future knowing it probably turned his stomach just to be in the same room with her?

  Lilly went back inside and stretched out on her bed. Okay, so Simon’s opinion of her had dropped to the level of pond scum, what could she do about it? Nothing, she thought despondently, because she’d already sneaked the blood stained wash cloth down to the laundry room and soaked it in a sink full of diluted bleach. Her first indignant reaction to leave it for Simon to find had quickly given way to the fear that Milana or Luisa would come across it first.

  She hadn’t known until just a few hours ago that both women had accompanied him to the mainland, but she was glad she’d done it anyway. It really was a rather crude way of letting him know she had been a virgin before this morning. Besides, what little pride she had left would be lost if she told the truth after the things he’d said to her.

  It was hopeless. At best, Simon would regain the use of his legs soon and she would be free to leave to nurse her broken heart in private. Worst case scenario, he’d be paralyzed for life and would have to employ the services of an organization that could send someone two or three times a week to work with him. If he would allow it, that is. Either way, he would no longer have any need for her in his life. A pretty grim future no matter how she looked at it.

  She was young. Her family and friends would try to console her by telling her she would get over him in time. She would fall in love with someone else, get married and have babies, the whole nine yards. Lilly would smile and say she was sure they were right, and maybe she really would get married and have a baby or two, but she would never love any man the way she loved Simon. He didn’t just have a part of her heart, he was her heart, and when she moved on there would be nothing left of it to give to anyone else because it would remain behind with Simon. Her only consolation was that he would never know.

  Lilly rubbed her eyes wearily. What a mess she’d made of her life! She turned onto her side, hoping she’d be able to sleep for awhile and give her jumbled mind a rest, but she’d no sooner closed her eyes when she heard the distinctive whir of helicopter blades. She sprang off the bed and raced out of her room, knowing she’d be able to see the chopper’s descent from the window at the end of the hallway.

  To say she was anxious to catch a glimpse of Simon was the understatement of the year, the proof was in the erratic thumping of her heart and the air that seemed to have trapped itself in her lungs. It was silly to be standing at the window; the helicopter pad was too far away for her to see it land, but Lilly couldn’t seem to help herself.

  It took some time for the car to make it back to the house. Lilly had moved from the hall window to one of the spare rooms with a view of the front driveway. She held her breath as Gaetano and Luc helped Simon out of the car and into his wheelchair. Disappointment rolled through in her waves when she saw that he was wearing dark glasses, but it was the fact he kept his gaze pointed straight ahead and his face perfectly expressionless that made the bottom drop out of her stomach. She kept hoping he would turn his head, that he would glance around or look at any one of the four people surrounding him, but he didn’t.
Lilly wanted to cry. There was no indication at all that he could see.

  She waited until he’d been taken inside then hurried back to her room and grabbed the book she’d borrowed from Simon’s library and curled up in one of the cushy armchairs. Not that she thought he would come rolling into her room as soon as Gaetano got him upstairs, but just in case he did, Lilly didn’t want him thinking she’d been pacing the floors waiting for him. She understood now why Milana hadn’t called her; the poor woman had probably been so distraught she hadn’t even thought about it. Lilly only wished she’d had more time to prepare herself so her voice wouldn’t give her away when she faced him.

  It took an excruciatingly long time before she heard them enter Simon’s room, and though she should have been ashamed of herself for leaving the adjoining door open a few inches, she was too busy trying to hear what they were saying to worry about the impropriety of it. For all the good it did, she thought a moment later, because they were all speaking in Italian. It was several minutes before the voices died down and then stopped altogether, a good indication they’d left Simon alone, and it was several more before she heard him call for her.

  She rose slowly from the chair, forcing herself to remain calm. No matter what, she couldn’t let him hear the emotion in her voice. Not an easy feat, considering she was close to tears and her heart was stuck in her throat. Lilly crossed the room, one hand pressed to her belly in a futile attempt to quell the gymnastic routine that was taking place.

  She inched the door open and stepped inside, each hesitant step taking her closer to the bed where Simon sat with his back propped against the headboard, his long legs stretched out in front of him. With a sinking heart, she saw that he was still wearing the sunglasses, his expression as unreadable as it had been when they’d helped him out of the car. She stopped just a few feet from the bed.

  “Did…did you need something?” she asked, cursing herself for sounding so feeble.

  Simon patted the spot beside him. “Sit next to me.”

  Lilly swallowed back a groan. She didn’t want to get that close to him. It would be too easy to reach out and touch him, too easy to get lost in the nearness of him and forget all the firm resolutions she’d made in the long hours since he’d been gone. But she did it anyway. Because Simon asked her to. She sat down on the edge of the bed, turning slightly so that she was facing him.

  “Simon, I…I don’t know what to say.”

  Simon reached up and drew his glasses off then tossed them on the nightstand, his eyes never leaving her face.

  “Bellissimo,” he said softly. “You are so beautiful, cara, much more beautiful than I…imagined.”

  Lilly’s brows drew together. Imaged? She’d been so sure Simon remembered her from the party, had truly believed that was the reason he’d been attracted to her. Obviously she was mistaken and he had no recollection of ever having seen her before, which made her wonder if his confession about trying to seduce her so she’d feel compelled to leave was the real motive after all.

  Lilly’s stomached knotted painfully, because if that was true then the purpose for Simon’s plea to make love had merely been a shock tactic to scare her off. Oh, God, no wonder he’d said those awful things to her; he’d never intended for it to happen. But when she’d hopped into his bed naked as the day she’d been born, what was he supposed to do? Afterwards, he’d been appalled by what they’d done and naturally blamed her. It was too humiliating for words.

  Simon couldn’t take his eyes off of her. He’d almost slipped and told her she was as beautiful as he remembered but thankfully caught himself in time. She was thinner than she’d been when he’d first seen her, and her skin seemed abnormally pale, but other than that, the image he’d kept of her in his mind was exactly the same; glossy blonde hair, eyes as blue as a clear summer sky, lips that begged to be kissed. His gaze swept over her, drinking in every detail before returning to her eyes. So expressive they were, mirrors to a heart that was obviously troubled.

  “Come closer Lilly, I can barely see you in this dim light.”

  “I could open the drapes if you like,” she offered, flinching at the panicked sound of her voice.

  “No bright sunlight, doctor’s orders. Now come closer.”

  “Honestly, Simon,” she huffed as she inched forward, “if I get much closer I’ll be in your lap.”

  “A brilliant suggestion,” he grinned then reached out and hauled her backwards onto his lap. “Much better,” Simon whispered, his mouth already descending on hers.

  “Wait! Simon, we…we have to talk.” Lilly squirmed in his arms, realizing a little too late that her bottom grinding against his groin only made matters worse.

  “No, cara,” he growled softly, “I have waited too long to see this.”

  Lilly’s feeble attempt to resist him fizzled and died with the first light caress of his lips. So much for being a pillar of strength and keeping her distance, she thought as her fingers curled around the back of his neck. Her resentment over the horrible things he’d said went by the wayside too, and by the time Simon’s arms tightened around her and his tongue started doing the most delicious tango with hers, Lilly had forgotten every single argument she’d come up with for leaving.

  Liquid goo, that’s what she felt like; hot, melty, spineless liquid goo. Dear God, the things he did to her body, her mind, her reckless heart. She was pretty much at his mercy when he finally drew his head back, a sexy grin pasted to his face.

  “This is what I have longed to see, mio amore.” His finger trailed down the side of her face. “Your skin flushed from my kisses, your lips full and moist, but it is the look in your eyes at this moment that I wanted most to see.”

  She shifted uncomfortably and tried to make light of it. “What look would that be,” she laughed, “shell shock? Post-lobotomy maybe?”

  Simon’s eyes sparked with amusement. “There is that,” he agreed.

  Lilly’s expression suddenly sobered. “We have to stop doing this, Simon. I can’t think when you kiss me and we both know it will only lead to disaster.”

  “How can anything that feels so good lead to disaster?”

  “It wouldn’t, not for you. I may be a bit naïve, Simon, but I’m not stupid. I don’t mean any more to you than all the other women you’ve been with. I’m just…convenient, that’s all.”

  “Convenient,” he repeated, rolling the word around in his head.

  Yes, it was definitely convenient to have the woman he loved living in his house, sleeping in the room next to his. Although it would be a hell of a lot more convenient if she was sleeping in his bed and he was able to make love to her properly. Simon reached up and gently brushed the stray curls back from her face. So naïve, his sweet Lilly, only he hadn’t known just how naïve or innocent she was until he’d returned to his room a short while ago. And now she was here in his arms, her eyes so haunted and sad because she thought she didn’t mean anything to him.

  Simon hugged her to him. “Do not say that ever again,” he said fiercely. “You are very special to me, cara, and I do not consider you a convenience. You feel it too, I know you do. Say it, carissima, say you have feelings for me.”

  Lilly kept her cheek pressed against his chest. If she looked at him now he would see it in her eyes, and she wasn’t ready to confess her love for him just yet. She wasn’t sure she trusted him and she sure as hell didn’t trust herself, not when she had all the will power of a bee in a flower garden when it came to Simon. Still, some small part of her begged her to open up at least a little bit and give their relationship a chance to grow.

  “I do care for you Simon, deeply, and it scares me to death.”

  “Why should it scare you?”

  “Because I’ve never felt this way for any man before, and because I’m afraid that what you feel for me isn’t real. Not that I think you’re deliberately being dishonest,” she rushed to assure him, “but it’s not uncommon for a patient to have a sense of…gratitude for their caregiver. I
t’s often misinterpreted as lo…something more intimate than it really is.”

  Simon cupped her chin and gently forced her head back. “Make no mistake, Lilly, I am extremely grateful.” He kissed the corner of her mouth. “I am grateful you have come into my life.” He kissed the other side. “I am grateful that I am not one of those patients who is confused about their true feelings.” Simon’s mouth hovered just over hers. “And I am grateful that you understand this because it means you will allow us to continue what we have begun.”

  Lilly’s pulse jumped when he brought his lips so close she could almost taste them. “Please, Simon,” she whimpered helplessly, “you’re not listening to me.”

  “But I am listening. You want to know if what we have is real. So tell me, my darling,” he whispered, “does this feel real to you?”

  Of all the bone-melting, mind-scrambling, heart stopping kisses Simon had given her before, this one left them all in the dust. It was more sensual, more intense, more…everything. Lilly had only been intoxicated a few times in her life but she distinctly remembered it feeling a lot like this. Her thoughts were jumbled and disjointed, her body flushed and feverish, and she was so lightheaded there was no doubt she’d crumble in a heap if she attempted to stand up.