It was an interior room, so no window, though I think I would have been embarrassed to have one. Where a window might have been there was a tall, thin glass piece, filled with liquids of different colors and viscosities floating up or down or streaming sideways, combining or separating in response to some stimuli.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“This is a replica of a piece of art that was designed for the emperor, when he commissioned the lab on the ship. The emperor asked for another to be made for you, as well.”
I was baffled. “Why?”
“He thought you would appreciate it even more than he could.”
I did, but that still didn’t explain why he’d commissioned one for me—why it had even occurred to him to do so.
The instructions came to secure ourselves for liftoff. Jonathan showed me how to activate the localized grav/anti-grav unit on each chair in the sitting area, so that the effect of liftoff and gravity changes on the passengers could be blunted. I was crestfallen. I don’t know what I’d expected but I wanted to be able to feel the liftoff, not the diluted-for-your-comfort experience. I stood there, disappointed and seriously considering not getting in the chair at all.
Jonathan was watching me and, after a moment he added, “As an alternative, or in case of unit failure, there are also safety restraints built into each chair,” Jonathan said.
I grinned at him and his expression softened just a bit into what I was beginning to think was his on-duty version of a smile. He showed me where to access them and how to strap myself in, and then started to leave the room.
“Wait. Where are you going?”
“To my own quarters.”
“Oh,” I said, feeling foolish for asking.
“Unless you’d prefer company?”
“Not if you don’t want. I mean, I was just, I was just wondering.”
He hesitated a moment. “Mr. Dawes, if it’s all right with you, I’d like to stay.” I almost asked him if he really meant it or if he was just humoring me, but I didn’t. I was glad for the company.
We talked while we waited. I learned that he was twenty-three and had two brothers and a sister, all younger, who still lived on his home colony. I told him as little of myself as I could without being obvious about it. I think he realized what I was doing, though, and skirted away from my history when I did.
I felt the change before I heard it. A low thrumming I felt in my feet on the floor and seeping up through my whole body as the engines built up energy. I caught my breath as the buildup became audible even through the sound dampeners.
The sensations of that experience, of leaving Earth for the first time, washed over me and I felt, saw, heard nothing else for several long minutes as the ship was released and energy became force, force drove velocity. I closed my eyes to better see the way the physical forces were harnessed and mastered. We conquered the powerful drag of planetary gravity against our insignificant mass and hurtled into the void.
My weight pressed against the soft cushions of the chair and I felt as if I were being pulled into it, merged with it, until Earth’s gravity field was behind us and the micro-gravity of space took hold. The sensation lasted for only a moment before the ship’s artificial gravity kicked in and pulled back. I sank back into the chair, having barely lifted out of it. I wanted to cry. Couldn’t I have had just another moment or two?
Jonathan hadn’t spoken for some time. I blushed, feeling rude for having asked him to stay but then ignoring him, but he didn’t seem to mind.
After dinner, a servant summoned me to the emperor. This was now twice in as many nights. Was it about something I’d said the night before? That stupid ring?
I was led to where the emperor was talking with the ship’s captain in one of the hallways.
“Good evening, Mr. Dawes. I see you survived the lift-off.” He walked as he spoke, gesturing for me to accompany him.
“It was an incredible experience, Excellence. This is a nice ship you have.”
“Thank you. It’s not a new ship, there was no time for that. But many things were upgraded, the engines included. They’re the best of the best, I’m told. I thought about you during the lift-off. I wondered what you’d make of it.”
“You did?” I asked, stunned.
“Is there something wrong with that?” he asked, his mouth twisted in what looked like amusement but was probably something more dangerous to me.
“No, sir. I guess not…”
“Does it bother you?” He seemed to be teasing me again.
“Some,” I answered.
He stopped. “Why?”
“Because I’m afraid of you.”
He laughed, and started down the hallway again. But after a sideways glance at my face, he quieted. “You really mean that?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.” His answer was soft, subdued, even. I got the distinct impression that I’d hurt his feelings.
“You must get that all the time.”
“I do,” he answered, but didn’t look at me. I was more and more sure that I’d offended him somehow.
“So why should it matter, then, Excellence?”
He thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I should be used to it. Of course, no one ever comes out and says it in so many words. It’s a bit of a shock to hear it confirmed like that.”
He stopped again, facing me, a slight furrow between his eyes that I would have called uncertainty, even vulnerability, if I hadn’t known who he was. “Why are you afraid of me?”
“Who wouldn’t be afraid? You can do anything you want with my life and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.”
The furrow deepened and he waited, as if I hadn’t explained myself at all.
“You uprooted my life a couple of weeks ago, who knows what you might do tomorrow?”
“You mean, you didn’t want this assignment?” he asked.
Apparently I wasn’t frightened enough to keep my mouth shut. “I want to be here,” I pointed to the ship around us, “but I didn’t want to be reassigned, no.”
“Mr. Dawes...” He hesitated. “I had no idea. I’m sorry.”
I shrugged but didn’t look at him.
“Would you like to be assigned back to the IIC?”
“Yes, Excellence.”
“Then you will be.” He started walking again, gesturing to me to accompany him. My stomach was jittery. I couldn’t believe what I’d just said. But he wasn’t reacting like an angry sovereign. He was acting like just another guy whose feelings were hurt.
“I’m sorry if I offended you,” I tried.
He turned to me. “Actually, you have no idea how much I appreciate your honesty.”
There was no reason for me to believe he was lying or just being diplomatic—and I couldn’t imagine why he would try to spare my feelings—but that didn’t make me feel much better. I was still on edge, certain I’d said far too much.
We walked along in silence for a while longer before I asked, “Are we going somewhere in particular?”
“Yes,” he answered still looking straight ahead. But after a moment he glanced at me sideways with an almost-mischievous smile.
I was still trying to process that when we came to a door. He slid his finger over the scan pad and, when the door opened, he entered.
I caught a glimpse inside. My knees locked and I stopped. For several long moments I forgot to breathe.
It was the lab. Except, it was the most fabulous thing I’d ever seen. Calling it simply a lab was almost a slur. The far wall and a good portion of the left wall were one large window. The smooth, slate gray floor seemed to flow into the void itself. My heart climbed into my throat—the first glance at the room made it appear as if it were open to space.
Lab tables lined the other walls. On every surface was a succession of instruments, devices, and other equipment, laid out like a feast. Everything was new, unused, and they gleamed and sparkled like scattered diamonds.
Near the window we
re a couple of couches, set facing the universe.
I stepped into the room. Turning to the table on the right, I ran my hand reverently over the first, pristine piece of equipment there. Without lifting my hand, I walked along, letting my fingers flow over each table and everything on it.
As I followed the right wall, I couldn’t help but cast a look, from time to time, away from the man-made objects and out the vast window into the expanse beyond. When my casual inventory brought me to the transparent wall I let my hand trail across it, to the very middle point. I stood so close I could feel the chill on my nose and cheeks. I put my hands at the level of my face and leaned even closer, so that all I could see was the void beyond and my own hands in my peripheral vision. It was like having nothing between me and the universe itself.
I don’t know how long I’d been standing there when a sound from behind brought me back to myself. I spun around and felt all the blood drain from my face. I’d just turned my back on the emperor.
Turned my back on him and ignored him for no less than ten minutes. The fear I’d felt before was nothing to the terror I felt now. I closed the distance and dropped to a knee in front of him, bowing my head. “Please forgive me, Excellence, I forgot myself.”
He laughed. I looked up at him in shock. He reached down and with a hand around my upper arm started tugging me to my feet with short, quick pulls. “Get up, please. Please,” he repeated through his laughter, and finally I rose.
“Mr. Dawes, I’ve given and received many gifts in my life but I have never seen anyone appreciate one quite as much as you seem to.”
“Gift?”
“Your lab,” he said, gesturing around the room.
“My lab?”
He laughed again. “Who else’s would it be?”
“Yours,” I said, trying not to sound as if I was explaining something elementary to a child.
“Oh, it’s all mine, isn’t it? Who cares about that? This is your lab. I have no use for it. I do hope, though, that you’ll let me visit from time to time to observe, even to assist if I promise not to get in the way or mess anything up.”
“Of course you can come as often as you like.” He nodded as if I’d just granted permission rather than stated the obvious.
“Well I’d love to stay but I’m afraid I don’t have the time tonight. Thank you, Mr. Dawes, for your time and your frank conversation. I look forward to speaking with you again.”
“Thank you, Your Excellence,” I said, as he left.
I turned to Jonathan, who was watching me. “Everything I do or say when I’m around him is idiotic and brainless. How long do you think it’s going to be before he has me put out an airlock?”
Jonathan laughed. “While I wouldn’t disagree with your assessment, I suspect the emperor likes you. Or at least finds you entertaining.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. Entertaining. As if I were a trained monkey. But I couldn’t deny that I sounded and acted about as intelligent as one when I spoke to him.
fg12
I spent the rest of the night in the lab. My head was brimming over with ideas for projects to start, but the equipment in the lab had been arranged with an eye for aesthetics rather than any knowledge of the function and use of the various items. My first task, with Jonathan’s help, was to rearrange the room.
It was like redecorating a dream. Every piece of equipment I laid my hands on spawned dozens of ideas. I was lost in visions of the truths I would reveal. I worked until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. And then I only dismissed Jonathan and sat down on one of the couches facing the great window, lost in the universe itself.
I woke there, hours later, and dragged myself to bed.
I spent the next day organizing my ideas. I had the lab arranged in an efficient, useful setup, now to do the same for all the ideas percolating in my head. I forced myself to walk away from the beautiful equipment and sit down on one of the couches, tablet in hand, and formulate a plan for my next few days.
By the afternoon I began to set out and arrange things for the projects I’d decided to pursue first. I was still at it when Jonathan informed me that it was time to dress for dinner. I told him I wouldn’t be going, but he reminded me that it was the first formal dinner aboard ship and that my absence would be noted. I wasn’t sure who it would be noted by and didn’t believe him, but I wasn’t confident enough to argue with him, either. I was still uneasy about the way I seemed to vomit words every time I was around the emperor. I didn’t want to make any more trouble for myself.
There were more outfits in my closet than there had been before. Jonathan explained that it was only routine to make sure I was well supplied. Even worse, he told me that in my new position I would receive a salary. I couldn’t help but think, with a painful lump in my throat, what that salary would have done for my mother and Carrie.
Before I went to bed that night I sat down to record a message to Kirti. I’d had a mail a day from her since I left, every one a long vid-mail that ended with her asking me to vid-call as soon as I could, but I couldn’t seem to remember to contact her when she would be awake and available. I finally decided just to record messages to her when I could, and send them on. I told her in detail about my trip to the palace, the two days there, the ship, and my incredible lab. I skipped over embarrassing details like having my own servant and most of my conversations with the emperor, though I did tell her that he’d said I would be assigned to the IIC again after the trip. I went to bed that night with the guilt of my neglect of Kirti off my shoulders.
-
My days fell into a predictable pattern. I woke early, ate breakfast as I dressed, and went to the lab. I remained there, eating lunch as I worked, until it was time to dress for dinner. After, I’d return to the lab, where I would stay until I was falling asleep on my stool.
That wasn’t enough lab time for me. I’d have gone without sleep if I could have. There were too many fascinating things to do and too much equipment to leave so much of it unused. By the time a week had passed I had five different experiments in progress.
The emperor visited the lab, as he’d promised, one evening after dinner. I stood and bowed to him.
“Good evening, Mr. Dawes,” he said. As he looked around the room his smile grew wider. “I see you’ve found something to do with your time.”
“It’s an incredible lab, Excellence. How could I not?”
He joined me at the table. “What’s this?”
“Plorium. Did you know you had a sample of it here?”
He frowned at the glass tube containing what looked like no more than simple water vapor.
“This is Plorium? The new element they discovered after the Lores Event?”
“Mhmm.” I nodded. “This is its plasma state.”
He reached out to touch the glass but stopped, his hand still in the air, and looked at me. “May I?”
“Yes, it’s safe.”
He touched the outside of the container and held his fingers there for a moment before turning to me with a slight blush on his cheekbones that I wanted to call embarrassment. “I don’t know why I expected it to feel different.”
I shrugged. “It still happens to me. You get so excited about something new. Well,” I flushed, feeling presumptuous, “At least, I do.”
“Being a research scientist must be exciting,” he said, turning back to the sample.
“Not always. Sometimes it’s frustrating, or downright boring. I mean…to me it can be…not that…not that I’m contradicting you or anything.”
He was still watching the subtle, swirling patterns form and dissolve in the Plorium, but from his profile I could see a small smile tug at his mouth. “It’s all right,” he said. “I hardly ever have someone executed for contradicting me the first time.”
My heart thumped hard in my chest and I stared at him, not at all sure what to make of that.
“So, what are you doing with this now?” he asked, turning to me with what looked a lot like a w
icked smile on his face.
“Just some radiation measurements,” I said, my voice steadier than I expected. “I’m going to use them as a baseline for an experiment. I’ll show you how this works.” My confidence came back all in a rush, here in my own element. “Would you hand me the radiometer, please?”
“This one?” he asked, indicating an instrument lying near him.
“Yes.”
He handed it to me with a strange look on his face; amusement, perhaps.
“Do you get in the lab much?” I asked as I began to take the measurement.
“Never,” he answered. “I haven’t done actual lab work myself. Only what I did in my studies with my tutors.”
I looked at him, surprised, but then I chuckled.
“What?” he asked.
“I never got to work in the lab either, before the IIC. I’m just surprised that someone like you, with the access and resources you have, wouldn’t have done more, if you’re interested in it.”
“Time. I have the other resources, but I lack the time,” he explained.
I nodded without looking at him. “There’s another instrument over there. Why don’t you take the measurement in the far chamber while I get this one?”
He smiled that same, funny smile as before, but did as I’d asked. He watched me to see what he should be doing, and accepted the corrections I offered.
“Why didn’t you have access?” he asked a few minutes later.
“To what?”
“To a lab, before the IIC.”
I shook my head. “I grew up in Mexico City, in Abenez.”
He was silent for so long I looked up at him. He was focused on what he was doing, as if he hadn’t heard me. Or he hadn’t been surprised, because he’d known. Of course he’d know. But he hadn’t acted like he knew. He hadn’t treated me as he should have, if he had known.
After a while he said, his voice quiet, “I’m sorry if I’m prying.”
It was a very odd thing for him to say. “Oh, I don’t mind.” I shrugged. “Or at least, I’m used to everyone knowing that about me. And they never seem to forget something like that, no matter what you end up doing or becoming.” I picked up the radiometer again. “It’s not the first thing about my life that’s unconventional, and I doubt it will be the last.”
Fighting Gravity Page 9