Fighting Gravity
Page 29
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The feast that followed outshone all others, which was a feat indeed. When we were announced upon entering the room, I was announced as Jacob Dawes-Killearn as had been decided. But I didn’t even notice because Pete was announced first. As Rikhart James Talved Peter Evan Dawes-Killearn. I gaped at him.
“You didn’t tell me you were going to take my name.”
“You took mine,” he replied.
“Well, yes, but…can you even do that?”
“It’s already done.”
It took me quite a while to recover from the shock of that, though I was enormously pleased. It was a while longer before I became convinced it was really going to happen. And there were those who tried to prevent it, tried to find some rule or precedent. They didn’t find what they needed. He became Dawes-Killearn, and so he stayed.
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At the dinner there were gifts and well wishes, and toasts from Kirti and Aliana.
When that was done, I stood. There’d been no plan for me to offer a toast but in the moment it just happened. Pete looked at me but didn’t say anything.
“I have something I would like to toast to. My husband. You know him as a good emperor and a good man. But you can’t know what a truly great man he is, and how much he deserves from life in the way of happiness and love. It wasn’t very smart of him to decide to find that in me,” I grinned at him, “but I’m terribly grateful that he did. And as some small repayment of all that he has given me, I pledge today to spend the rest of my life attempting to be worthy of him.”
Pete stood and took my hand. “Why did you say that?” he asked, tenderness in his voice.
“Because it’s true.”
“You’re crazy,” he replied. “But I love you that way.”
I sat back down, but Pete did not. Instead he too raised his glass to signal an impending toast.
“I shouldn’t have married Jake.” My heart stopped. “At least, that’s what many, probably most of you have thought at some point. I have been told that many times by advisors and those who no doubt had good intentions. But you’re all wrong.
“Jake makes me a better man and thus a better emperor. He’s a good person, in spite of his flaws—and we all have flaws. He’s one of the best men I’ve ever known. I love him more than I can possibly express.” He looked at me now. “Thank you.”
I stood and slid my hand into his. He interlaced his fingers with mine, holding my gaze. There were tears in his eyes, but he laughed.
“Did I scare you?”
“A little,” I admitted.
He grinned. “You should have known better.”
“You’re right.”
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At the wedding ball, I stayed close to my husband, basking in what he was, and what we were now. I wanted to be this happy for the rest of my life.
As I stood by Pete’s side, while he talked with people I cared nothing about, I saw Duke Blaine and, in a sudden rush of charitable feeling in the aftermath of my wedding, I approached him. He bowed but it was stiff, almost as if it was painful.
I held out my hand. “Your Grace, we’ve been at odds from the very first, and I know I’ve done my part to make it so. Perhaps we can set aside past offenses and have a more amicable relationship in the future?”
He looked at my hand before he met my eye again. “No, Your Highness,” he said. “I don’t think we can.”
I lowered my hand, letting the slow wash of anger calm before I said, “I’m sorry to hear that. It seems to me, though, that you’re only making your life unnecessarily difficult, since you can’t get rid of me again.”
“You think not?”
When my voice came it was quiet and hard. “I think we’ve had this conversation before, Duke Blaine. Do you really mean to threaten me again?”
“Of course not, Your Highness. Forgive me a clumsy choice of words.” But he was holding my gaze and the flash in his eyes and the slight curl of his lip gave the lie to that. “Congratulations on your marriage.” He bowed again and started to leave but stopped and turned back to me.
“I nearly forgot,” he said. “I thought you might like to know I’ve had word that your former lover is doing as well as can be expected in her circumstances.”
“My former lover?” I asked, baffled. I turned, looking for Kirti.
“I believe you knew her as Kafe.”
My head snapped back around as if of its own accord. “What did you say?”
“I’m sorry, does the news not please you? It seems I’ve misspoken again. I may have had more champagne than is advisable. I should excuse myself.” He bowed. “Your Highness,” he said before he walked away.
I was shaking, suddenly cold and sick.
I let him go. I probably shouldn’t have. I probably should have done something, said something. Instead, I looked across the room and saw my husband talking to a small group of nobles, resplendent in his wedding suit, his face flushed with happiness. I clenched my fists, closed my eyes, and willed myself to stop trembling, forced my breathing to return to normal. When I opened my eyes again Pete was just turning his head, looking for me, the smile he’d worn all day still brightening his face.
I couldn’t ruin this day for him.
He met my eye. His smile didn’t exactly change, but something in the quality of it, the intimacy in his eyes, transformed it into something entirely for me. I crossed the room to him and he took my hand. When the others had excused themselves he turned to me.
“I’m happy, Jake,” he said, smiling as if he couldn’t possibly do anything else.
“I know,” I said, squeezing his hand, swallowing Blaine’s words and the memories he had dredged up. “I’m glad.”
“I feel like I could fly,” he said, his voice lower, but excited. “I feel like I could do anything. We could do anything.”
“We can,” I said, smiling back at him. “We will. I’ve got you now, and I won’t let anything happen to you,” I said.
A brief, puzzled frown creased his brow for a moment, and I realized it was a bit of an odd answer to what he was saying. But Blaine’s words still gripped my stomach.
“I just mean we’re together now,” I said, “and everything’s going to be great.”
He hugged me. “Yes, it will.”
I hugged him back, hard; holding on to him maybe a bit longer, with something more than he knew, in the way I clung to him. “Everything’s going to be great.”