I sigh. “She does, but I don’t feel that way about her. She’s my friend and that’s all we’ll ever be.” I brush my thumb along her cheek. “You, princess, are all I want.”
Finally, the smile spreads across her face. “Yeah?” she asks, shyly.
This is a side of Seona I haven’t seen yet, and it makes her even more special. “Yes.”
Without giving her a chance to say another word, I capture her lips with mine. Action is going to prove more than words, and while I don’t want to push her too far, I still want to feel her against me. Immediately, hers part and the taste of her lips is nothing compared to the explosion of her on my tongue. As we continue to kiss, I roll so that she is under me and use my arm to hold my weight up, never breaking the connection of our mouths. There is something about Seona that makes me have a hard time controlling my desires.
My hand slips down to the hem of her shirt. All I want is to feel the softness of her skin against my hand. Her body is smooth and warm, making me want to kiss her on more than just her lips. When my hands starts pushing her shirt up and out of the way, she moans a little in the back of her throat and her hips thrust up lightly into mine. The feeling of her grinding against me makes me lose all reason. My hand slides up her rib, to the top of her bra. Slipping my fingers under the cup, I lightly toy with her nipple.
On a groan, her lips slip from mine, only to travel down my throat, where she sucks on the spot where my neck meets my shoulder. I know she’s giving me a hickey and I’ve never been so turned on in my life. Wanting, no, needing to feel more of her, I let my hand travel down to the waistband of her shorts. Just as I’m about to unbutton them, my senses come rushing back.
What the hell am I doing?
Pulling my hand back, I look down into her eyes and take in the heated flush of her cheeks.
“Why did you stop?” she asks.
I shake my head to clear the lust induced haze. “I don’t want to push you.”
“Nobody said we had to go all the way.”
It’s my turn to blush. It’s not I don’t want to go there with Seona, but I don’t know if it’s the right time. “I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.” Her eyes widen and I turn my face away embarrassed. Putting my other hand down for balance, I move to roll off of her, but she grabs my face and stops me. “Don’t be embarrassed. We can go as far as you want.” Then she makes me laugh, by rolling her eyes. “God, I sound like a guy.”
She joins in on the laughter. Slowly, we calm down and our breaths mingle together as I look down at her. She smiles. “I want you to kiss me and touch me. We don’t have to have sex. I know you want to, I can see it in your eyes.”
She’s right, I want to touch her and feel her more than anything. Without another word, she wraps her hand around the back of my neck and pulls me down for a kiss. I let my doubts and fears go and just feel. The longer my lips connect with hers, the more I find my hands running all over her body, until I find my fingers at the buttons of her shorts; this time I don’t stop and let them fall open. Slipping my hand under her panties, I find her center. I want to make her feel as good as she’s made me feel the last few weeks. Slowly, I slide one finger into her.
“That’s it, Jayceon.”
Back and forth, back and forth I push in and out until her hips are thrusting up to meet my hand.
“Jayceon, oh god, please touch me,” she pants out.
Knowing what she asking, I press my thumb to her core, making her cry out my name.
“Oh, Jayceon.”
Chapter 20
Seona
I’ve never been happier. It’s been the best few months of my life and it keeps getting better. Things are truly going well and honestly, I can’t ask for more. Jayceon and I are stronger than ever. Whenever I close my eyes, I see him. When I think about my future, I see him. It’s crazy to think that at seventeen, I’ve found the one I want to spend my life with. Even though I haven’t told him any of this, I feel it and know he feels the same way.
Football season ended and the team won sectionals. Jayceon was named the team’s MVP and he’s been receiving offers from nearly every college and has agents contacting him. Yet, football isn’t what he wants.
“What are your dreams?” He asks, holding me closer, making me feel safe.
“I wanna go to New York City and go to college for dance. I wanna open my own dance studio and teach kids how to dance.”
“You can be anything you want and whatever you decide, you know I’ll be here for you.”
“I know,” I sigh, kissing his lips. “What about you?”
“I’ll be with you,” he whispers. “I got my acceptance letter a few weeks ago. I didn’t know how to tell you.”
“Why?”
He shrugs, “I wanted to know your plans before I told you mine. I want you to come to New York with me.”
And here we are now, almost five months later. Let’s just say, since the night of Travis’ first game we’ve taken things to another level.
“Seona, someone’s here to see you,” Claire teases.
I turn around and there’s Jayceon standing behind me with a bouquet of flowers and a smile on his face. As soon as our eyes meet, my face turns pink and the ache between my legs grows. For a virgin, he sure as hell knew what he was doing.
“I want you, Jayceon.”
We’ve been on vacation with the Ashworths and tonight’s the last night before we head back to Texas. Things have been pretty hot between us, minus the sex. The way he moves his tongue in my mouth, down my body is so amazing. He sets my body on fire and I’ve never had an orgasm until him.
“I know,” he pants, kissing my neck, his hands roaming my body, “but are you sure?”
“Yes!”
Soon our clothes are on the floor as he slides on a condom and looks at me. I know he’s nervous and it warms my heart. He’s going to experience this with me and even though I’ve been with other guys, this will be the first time I’ve made love to someone I truly love.
His mouth moves to my nipple, slowly sucking and teasing. “Don’t stop, Jayceon,” I whisper, moving my hands down his hard body. When I wrap my hand around his erection, he sucks in a breath. “Now, Jayceon. Please.”
Releasing my nipple from his mouth, he looks into my eyes and smiles, “I love you Seona.”
“I love you, too.” Before I can say anything else, Jayceon slowly enters me. Our eyes meet and something happens, something I can’t express in words. There’s an indescribable bond between us. We watch each other as he pushes inside me, filling me, making me moan. I’ve been with guys before, but this means so much more than the past guys. This is love. We’re not playing games or plan on leaving when we’re done. This moment between us is going to be imprinted in our hearts and minds forever. The look on his face makes me smile. It’s pure pleasure. His eyes study my face and he doesn’t look away. That’s the thing about Jayceon. Everything we do, whether it’s passionate or playful, he has this stare that instantly makes me melt because he’s making sure I’m okay.
As soon as he’s all the way in, I shut my eyes, wincing in pain. Shit he’s big.
Jayceon stops and the look on his face is unreadable. “Babe?”
“I’m hurting you. I’m sorry.”
“No.” I hold onto his arms. “You’re not, I promise.”
“But you look like you’re in pain,” he softly says.
I try my hardest not to laugh. “It’s because you’re big.”
The biggest smile breaks on his face and I’m pretty sure his ego just boosted ten levels. He starts going again and soon we’re moving together and it’s the best feeling--me and him together like this. I never want to experience anything like this again with anyone else.
“What are you thinking about, beautiful?” He nuzzles his lips against my neck, wrapping his arms around my middle. The girls are looking at us, swooning and smiling, making me blush. I was never into PDA, until Jayceon.
“Our first time.” I smile, tur
ning around and giving him kisses all over his face.
“One of the best nights of my life.”
“Yeah,” I simply respond, resting my head against his chest. His hands rest on my back as we stand in silence, watching the routine of the other school. “You need to go,” I pout. “But thank you for sneaking backstage and for my flowers.”
“You’ll be great, beautiful. You’ve been practicing so hard and I know you’re going to kill it.”
“Thanks.” I give him a quick kiss and watch him walk out the door, back to the bleachers.
Our school is called to the stage and we get in position. With Vanessa on my left and Claire on my right, we stand in front of the crowd, breathing in and out, mentally preparing ourselves for this routine. All of our hard work is about to show in 1...2...3.
The music plays, blasting through the arena and our routine starts. We hit each move and stay in sync. My eyes are focused, but I feel him staring at me and hear him cheering. Smiling, I get in position for my stunt and land each time. Vanessa and Claire finish their stunts and we’re back in position ready to fly.
The crowd goes wild when we’re done and I know we killed it. Running backstage we hug and congratulate each other because that moment was our moment to shine.
“This is the last time we’re gonna be cheering together,” Claire pouts, resting her head on my shoulder. “This sucks.”
After the party, I realized that Claire was set up as much as Jayceon and I were. Chaz is such an asshole, but she’s right. No more high school nationals and who knows what college is going to hold for us. It’s sad, but I also know I’ve never been more proud of the squad. We head out and chat with our friends and families. Jayceon finds me, picks me up and twirls me around. Laughing like I’ve never laughed before I kiss him, never wanting him to let me down.
“Seona.” His stern tone fills my ears. It’s the voice I never thought I’d hear again.
My body freezes and I release the kiss. No. No he’s not here. I let Jayceon go and frantically look for Travis. No please, not now. I keep looking for Travis, but he’s nowhere. Why isn’t he here?
“Seona!” I turn and see my best friend, Kendall, running over to me with her dad.
Immediately, I let go of Jayceon and face the demons of my past. My hands are trembling and my body is tense. I move away from Jayceon and stand in front of my dad. “Dad, what are you doing here?” My breaths are raspy and I want to scream.
“It’s time to go, Seona.” He reaches for my hand, but I flinch. The instant feel of his hand on my wrist brings me back to the past. I remember his harsh words and how little he made me feel. “Are you ready?” His hard eyes set on mine and I know he’s serious.
“But they haven’t announced the winners and I’m a student here now.” My eyes shift to the floor. I can’t look at him.
“Seona,” Kendall cries, hugging me tight. “I’m so sorry! I just got here with my dad. I’m so sorry,” she sobs. I look up and see her dad talking to mine, but the look in his eyes tells me he’s not going to leave.
I’m frozen. Even with my best friend here, holding me in her arms, I can’t hug her back.
“Seona?” I turn around and see a worried Jayceon. Shit. Jayceon, please don’t come any closer. No. I need to keep him away from my tainted past. When this touches him, we’ll never be the same. I stare at him, with wide eyes, hoping he’ll get the picture. “Is that your dad?” I nod. He turns to my dad and introduces himself.
“It’s nice to meet you too, Jayceon. I'm Seona's dad, Senator Paul Henderson.” Ugh, that smug bastard. Now that there’s a crowd, his fake side comes out. “I’m sorry that my daughter has been an inconvenience to you. She’s not a stable person and needs help. I hope you can understand and help her realize that coming home is the best thing to do.”
Kendall holds me tighter and Jayceon looks at me with confusion and question in his eyes. Everything I’m hearing, all of his lies, I want to punch him and hurt him the way he’s hurt me. I refuse to cry in front of him. He won’t break me down. He won’t.
“Mr. Henderson, stop with this. You know none of this is true.”
“Kendall, how long have you known Seona? You know this is an act. Remember everything she did in Michigan? All the boys, drugs and drinking?” He pulls me away from Kendall and keeps me close to his side. His grip around my shoulder gets tighter. I keep a straight face so no one can tell the pain I’m in.
“Daddy, please stop,” I beg him. “Please. They’re about to announce the winners and I need to be with my squad.”
He kisses the side of my head and internally I cringe. I wish I had the strength to push him away and tell him off. I’ve never been able to stand up to my dad. Honestly, I’m so scared that he’ll physically hurt me. You never cross Paul Henderson. Never.
“Get away from her, Paul.” Travis rushes over to us and pulls me away from my dad. I stare at both of them, not sure what to do. “Seona.” He turns to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. I’m about to break down and cry. “Honey, are you okay?” I shake my head, but my eyes find my dad’s. His chin is raised high and his arms are crossed along his chest. “Seona, honey, look at me.” Travis cups my face and makes me look at him. “Don’t pay attention to him. Look at me.”
“Seona?” Jayceon stands next to Travis. The tone in his voice is full of sadness and concern. I hate this. I don’t want anyone to worry. “Baby talk to us, please.”
“Travis, it’s good to see you too. You know taking Seona without my permission wasn’t a very wise thing to do. She’s a minor and I never gave her permission to come here.”
I furiously shake my head. “He didn’t take me!” I inform my dad. I don’t want Travis getting in trouble.
“Seona, get your things. We have a flight back home and you’re going to have a lot of explaining to do. I’ve missed you, honey and I’m sorry that you felt the need to run away. But things are going to be okay. I’m going to get you the help you need.” He walks closer to me, but Travis stops him. “Seona, please come with me.” The darkness in his eyes tells a different story. There’s murder in them and I know if I leave with him, I’ll never see anyone again. “I have an appointment at the hospital for you and they’ve agreed to admit you.”
“But my team and my friends…”
“Honey, it’s okay. I have your medication. It’s been months since you’ve taken your meds. How are you feeling? Do you know where you are?”
“Dad, do something,” Kendall begs John.
“Seona what’s he talking about?” Jayceon asks.
“You never told anyone?” My dad shakes his head. “Seona suffers from multiple personality disorder. She has a drug addiction and has a very dark past. She ran away from home before I was going to admit her into a psych facility so she can get the help she needs.”
I look around and find eyes all on me. What the hell is he doing? I’m not crazy! I rub the back of my neck, touching my face, hoping and praying I’m dreaming. I pinch myself and feel the pain. Shit, I’m not dreaming.
“Paul, there’s media everywhere. You can’t do this here,” Kendall’s dad, John, tells him. “Seona sweetheart, finish up here and meet us at the hotel, okay? We're staying at the same hotel as you.” I nod and watch as my dad and John leave, but I know this is far from over.
Feeling lightheaded and dizzy, I close my eyes and the darkness takes over.
Warmth.
Hands on my arms.
Eyes on me.
Voices. People talking.
Slowly opening my eyes, I see Jayceon by my side, Kendall and Travis standing by the window with the Ashworths. We are back at the hotel.
“Travis?” I whisper, slowly getting up. He hurries over, kneeling beside the bed, holding my hand.
“I’m here.” There are so many thoughts going on in my head. I didn’t want my dad here and anywhere near me. Why couldn’t I stand up to him?
“What’s going to happen?” I finally ask him. “Do I have
to go back with him?” I feel tears burning my eyes, “I can’t go back to him,” I yell, shaking my head, grabbing Travis’ hands. “Do something, please!”
“Over my dead body. You’re staying here in Texas. This is your home now.” Travis’ voice is laced with anger and he looks like he’s ready to run out of the hotel room and kill my dad. Part of me wants him to.
“Travis, please calm down. I’m okay.” It kills me when I lie to him. If Travis or Jayceon know how I’m feeling, they’ll go after my dad. I know it and I know it can’t happen. I squeeze his hand and try my hardest to sound okay so he’ll feel better.
“Seona,” Jayceon starts to say, pulling me closer and holding me tight. “I’m not sure what’s going on with you and your dad, but I hope you know that we’re here for you and you’ll never have to be afraid again.”
I’m hearing their words and taking it in, but I know not to believe in the possibility of being okay. My dad is never going to let me go. I’ve gone through this with him my whole life. He’s the type of man who doesn’t know what it’s like to lose. No matter what I do or where I go, he’s going to find me and turn my life upside down.
“I explained everything sis, so don’t worry; everyone’s here and we’re going to protect you. You’re seventeen now and you don’t need your dad.”
This is what I’m afraid of. I don’t need everyone changing their lives to protect me. I’ve been watching over myself for the past five years. I don’t need anyone. I just want to finish high school and go to college.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” Jayceon tells me, kissing the side of my head.
How does he know that everything’s going to be okay? How does anyone know?
“You have us,” Mrs. Ashworth adds, standing beside Jayceon and touching my shoulder. “You and Travis are more than welcome to come over and when Travis is away you can stay with us, Seona. Honey, we’re so sorry. I wish you could have told us.”
I shake my head and look away. “I didn’t want anyone to know. I wanted a fresh start and I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. I want to forget about my past and life in Michigan.”
Beautiful Lessons Page 15