Then I think about their kiss in the hallway. How her arms wrapped around his body. If he can move on, then I can move on too. There’s Brendan. He’s a great friend and really hot. We get along really well. I would be blind not to realize how amazing he is.
The idea of me and Jayceon attending NYU next year sticks to me and I’m thrown back into wanting him. I’m crazy to think I can be with someone else. I don’t want to be with someone else. Maybe I should accept the scholarship and tell Mark and Travis I’m heading to New York. It’s what I want. I’ll be at the college of my dreams and with Jayceon. Maybe we can start over in college.
Maybe.
* * * * *
Sitting in front of my computer with music playing in the background, I scroll through a website looking at prom dresses. Claire’s been on me about going shopping since prom is coming up. I have no desire to go. A part of me wants to, but I can’t stand there and watch Jayceon and Alyssa in love and wrapped in each other’s arms.
There’s a knock on my door and Travis comes in. He hands me a plate of food, a sandwich and an apple, and sits on my bed.
“Thanks,” I mumble, picking at the sandwich.
“What’s going on?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Nothing really. Just listening to music.”
“Are you shopping for prom?” I shake my head. “Why?” He sighs, leaning in closer to me. “Why aren’t you going?”
“Don’t feel like it. There’s no point,” I groan. “I just don’t want to be around Jayceon and Alyssa and the thought of going solo doesn’t really sit well with me.”
“Seona, when you go to prom it’s better go to with your friends. This is your last hurrah before graduation and college. Think about it.” I stare at the computer, not answering him. “You’re making a mistake. Isn’t prom what girls live for?”
“Used to be.”
“When are you going to stop living in this depressed mood and move on?”
“You’re being a dick,” I tell him. “You didn’t have to come into my bedroom, so you should leave.”
“I’m not trying to be a dick, Seona. I’m trying to make you understand how dumb some of your decisions are.”
I huff, crossing my arms, and turn back to the computer. Pushing away the plate of food, I click around on the website and stare at the dress of my dreams. Travis gets up from my bed, kisses me on my head and leaves the room.
Not wanting to sit here all day on the computer, I throw on my running clothes and head outside. As soon as my feet touch the cement, I run. I need this time to take my mind off things and clear my head. The cloudiness of Jayceon and the stress of deciding what I need to do. I have NYU’s acceptance letter to respond to and having to decide about prom. Why is all of this happening at once? Why can’t I stay in high school and not grow up?
* * * * *
The week drags by, but I keep busy as much as I can. School, work out, hang out with Claire and Brendan and head home to do homework. Travis and Mark have been acting weird and it’s bothering me. I know they’re still worried about me. They’re careful with their words and are walking on eggshells. I’m not a ticking time bomb. Ugh.
Running upstairs to my room, I open my door and stop mid step. In front of me is my dream prom dress. Slowly walking closer to the dress, I touch the jewels on the bodice and the pink tulle hanging freely. There’s a note on the dress and quickly I open it.
Seona,
Every girl needs to enjoy being a senior before entering the real world. Every day we’re given a choice-we can either go with it or stop in the middle of our tracks and live with regret. I don’t want that for you, sweetheart. I want you to embrace life and enjoy what’s coming your way.
I love you,
Daddy
I jump up and down, still staring at my dress, holding the envelope to my chest. When the doorbell rings, I run downstairs and without looking to see who is on the other side, I open the door and all of my excitement and joy is replaced with anger and fear.
I take a few steps back. “What are you doing here?”
“Is that how you talk to your father?”
“You are not my dad. You knew the truth and didn’t tell me! What kind of monster are you?” This is it. I’m going to finally stand up to him and put my foot down. After all these years, all of his cruel words and hearing him tell me that he wished I were dead, well no more. He can’t hurt me anymore.
He pushes me inside and closes the door, cornering me against the wall. “I raised you from the time you were born until now. I am your fucking father. Get your things. We’re leaving.” I shake my head. “No?”
“No. I’m not going! This is my home…”
He grabs my arm, “I am not playing around anymore, Seona. Let’s go.” I fight him and try to loosen his grip. This causes him to hold on tighter. I quickly look around the foyer to see if there's anything I could grab to hit him. There's nothing.
Opening the front door, he drags me out and I scream for him to stop and try my hardest to get out of his grip. He pulls me in front of him and pushes me on the ground. This is my chance. I need to get up and fight. Getting on my feet, he tries to grab my arm again, but I move away and punch his side, causing him to lose his balance.
"You fucking bitch," he growls. Paul charges at me with murder in his eyes. I clench my fist, bring it up and connect it with his nose. "Argh!" He pushes me back on the ground. Fear spills through me, so I close my eyes and count to twenty, hoping he'll go away. Screaming for help, trying my hardest to fight him off me, I hear a door close nearby.
Mark and Paul are on the grass, wrestling, throwing punches.
“Stop!” I scream. “Please stop!”
Travis runs to me and brings me into his arms. Everything is happening so fast and soon Jayceon and Paul are going at it.
“Stop!” I scream. “Travis! Daddy! Do something!”
“You piece of fucking shit.” Mark yells, pulling Paul off Jayceon.
Paul stumbles on his feet and is thrown back on the ground face down. “Jayceon, call the cops.”
I fall into Travis’ arms, not able to remove my eyes from Jayceon. There’s a cut above his eye, but he looks fine. When he turns to look at me, his red face turns pale. Neither of us moves and I can’t stop crying.
Jayceon walks to the side with his cell phone. I can’t turn away from him. He’s right in front of me and he saved me.
Jayceon saved me again.
The house is quiet and I’ve been in my room for the past hour. I’m not sure what’s going on downstairs and I don’t care to know.
The cops came and took Paul away then questioned me, Travis, Mark and Jayceon. I didn’t want to be questioned anymore, so I walked away and said if they needed anything else to let me know. Throughout the conversation, Jayceon stood by my dad and didn’t ask if I was okay.
My door opens and I hear someone walk in, praying that it’s Jayceon.
“Sweetheart?”
I turn and see Mark pulling my computer chair to the side of my bed. “Hi, Dad.” I try to smile. “Why was Jayceon here?”
I didn’t want to lay here and wait to ask the question. I needed to know.
“His car broke down at the college so I took him home, but needed to come back here real quick. I’m glad I did, Seona.” He rubs my arm. “When I saw Paul, I don’t know what happened. I snapped.”
My dad saved me. Not Jayceon. He was there at the right time and helped my family.
He got out of the car to help and I'm glad he did. I look at my dad, placing my hand on his. For the first time, I feel like I belong with him and Travis. This is my family and this is my home. I'm where I belong.
“You saved me?”
“I ran out of my truck so fast I didn’t realize what was going on until Jayceon jumped in. How are you feeling?”
“Sore.” I rub my arm where Paul had it in his grip and my eyes go to my dress. “Today was supposed to be a happy day. I got my beautiful dress from my aweso
me dad, but Paul ruined it.” I sob, pulling the pillow closer to my body. “When will I get a chance to be happy?”
“Today. Forever. Seona, I know you’ve had a shitty few years, but don’t let that stop you. In life, we’re going to be hit with obstacles and sometimes those obstacles are going to pull us down to the bottom. That’s where the strength inside you needs to be stronger and you need to fight for it. Life’s not easy.”
“I know,” I sigh. “Thank you again.”
Mark leans down and kisses my forehead. “I love you, Seona.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
When I hear the door close, I pull out my phone and send a text to Jayceon.
Thank you...
I don't wait for a response, because I know it's not coming. Putting my phone under my pillow, I close my eyes and see Jayceon. He's smiling, carrying his guitar and sitting down. This is all I need to see and for the first time, I'm sleeping without screaming in the middle of the night. I'm with Jayceon. My safe place.
The next day at school goes by pretty fast, until after lunch. I haven’t seen Jayceon all day and really want to thank him. He hasn’t responded to my text and it’s pissing me off. How hard is it to say you’re welcome? I know we aren’t talking, but he doesn’t have to be rude about it.
I tense when the bell rings. I’m not sure what I’m doing or why I’m standing next to his locker. I tell myself not to fall apart and fall to my knees.
“What are you doing?” I turn and see Brendan walking to me. He places his hands on mine and squeezes them. “You okay?” I nod my head.
“Yeah, I am.” I smile. “I don't want to think about it. I don't care about him and I shouldn't give him the time of day.”
“I'm glad," he hesitates, still keeping his eyes on me. "So, what are you doing here?”
“I don’t know.” His question should frustrate me. I don’t like to be questioned or asked why I’m doing things.
“Seona…”
“I just wanted to say thank you to him and see how he’s doing. Paul punched him really hard, and I don’t know. Maybe I want to try and be his friend.”
Before Brendan can answer, I hear Alyssa’s voice. “He’s fine.” I turn around and she’s standing before me. “He stayed home today, but he’s fine.” Her voice is calm and not bitchy. “I’ll tell him that you waited though.”
“Oh. Okay. Thanks for letting me know.” We smile at one another and it doesn’t feel like I’m overstepping.
The vicious tug between my heart and head pull. Brendan’s right. I shouldn’t be here. I texted Jayceon and he didn’t respond. That’s a clue right there that he doesn’t want to talk to me.
“Have a good day,” I tell Alyssa and loop my arm through Brendan’s. “I’m pathetic, huh?”
“But in the cutest way possible,” he laughs, putting his arm around my shoulders.
“Is that possible?” I groan, leaning into him.
“Only you. But I have a question for you.” He stops walking and turns around to face me. Soon, he’s on one knee and my eyes are open wide. So many people in the hall stop walking and some teachers have stopped. All eyes are on us and I want to kick him so bad right now. “Seona Ashlee Fisher, will you do me the honor of being my beautiful date to the senior prom?”
Chapter 31
Jayceon
Thinking things were going to be simple, I went over to the college to work out with the team. Dad was home sick, but Travis texted me and asked me to come and work out for a bit. We’d been hanging out a lot lately and he respected me enough not to talk about Seona to me. It seemed simple enough, even when I offered him a ride home, at least until my car wouldn’t start. I knew my mom was working and there was no way my dad was going to make it over here, so we called a tow truck to pick up the car and then Travis’ dad to come get us.
The parking lot is pretty empty when we take a seat on the hood of my car to wait. The silence between us is odd and I wonder what he’s thinking.
“How are things?” he asks, without looking at me.
This is the first time since Seona was attacked by Chaz that Travis and I have had a chance to just talk when working out or football wasn’t involved. That’s not what has me on alert though; Travis isn’t shy, so why is he avoiding eye contact? He’s up to something and as I answer, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“Good. Alyssa’s excited for prom.”
“What about you? Aren’t you excited?”
Am I excited? I shrug. “I guess.”
He chuckles. “That doesn’t sound like you’re very excited.”
“It’s more for the girls anyway. They like getting dressed up and dragging us to dances.” I laugh.
“Not all girls.” He leaves the sentence hanging, almost like he’s waiting for me to ask. Which, like an idiot, I do.
“Erin doesn’t like getting all dressed up?”
He doesn’t look at me and I just know that what he’s going to say next, I’m not going to like. “Not Erin, she loves that shit. More like Seona. You know she doesn’t want to go to the prom?”
“I thought she was going with Brendan?”
“Not that I know of. Dad’s still trying to convince her that she’ll regret it if she doesn’t go.”
This is not a conversation I want to be having. It’s bad enough that after all that has happened between the two of us, I still can’t get my mind off of her. I’ve been doing my best to avoid her at all costs. It’s just easier. It’s not always possible in history, but lately I’ve been taking a seat in the middle of the room so that we don’t have to sit next to each other.
Whatever is between us needs to be put in the past where it belongs. Travis doesn’t say anything else and I know I need to play it down, without ignoring what he’s saying. He’s my friend and although his sister broke my heart, I don’t want to ruin things between us. But I don’t know what exactly he wants me to say after everything that has happened. The whole car starts to shake as my knee begins bouncing up and down.
“I’m sure she’ll figure it out. What about you and Erin, what are you guys doing this weekend?”
He turns and looks at me. “Don’t change the subject. This isn’t about me—”
Before he has a chance to finish, I’m on my feet walking across the parking lot. Travis’ hand lands on my shoulder, stopping me. “Man, don’t walk away. This isn’t so much about my sister as it is about you. I know better than anyone how she fucked everything up. I watched it happen. And if you were a hundred percent happy, I’d never bring it up. But I can tell you’re not happy. You’re not even excited about prom; every guy’s dream is to hook up with their girl, even if it means having to wear a tux.”
Stopping, I cross my arms over my chest. “What’s your point, Travis?”
Mimicking my stance, he says, “My point is that, you need to do what makes you happy. I’m not sure if being with Seona will make you happy, but isn’t it worth trying if it might?”
Maybe I’m not as good at hiding my feelings as I thought. If Travis noticed it, then Seona, who knows me even better, has definitely seen it. Dropping my gaze to the ground, I let out the truth. The stuff I’ve kept bottled up inside because I didn’t want to face the ugly reality of it. “Whatever was between me and Seona is over. Too much has happened to fix it.”
Thankfully, I see Mark pulling into the parking lot, followed closely by the tow truck. It doesn’t give Travis time to say anything, but it gives my brain plenty of time to run in overdrive. Once we have everything settled with the tow truck driver, we climb into Mark’s car and head for home.
“Hey, Jayceon?” Mark asks. “I’m on my way to an appointment that’s pretty close to your house, but I left some of the paperwork at home. Would you mind if I stop real quick to pick it up?”
“Not at all.” At this point, he has saved me from the uncomfortable conversations with his son, not to mention giving me a ride home. I owe him one.
The second we pull up to th
e house, I know that something is wrong. Mark throws the car in gear and jumps out, running for a car parked out front. Seona’s scream pierces my ears. Travis and I both fly out of the truck towards the sound. He grabs Seona and I see Mark wrestling with Paul, Seona’s wannabe dad. For a moment it looks as if Paul is going to get the upper hand and I can’t let that happen. I’m done letting bullies win.
Running forward, I wrap my arms around Paul’s chest and pull him off of Mark. The problem with that is, even though I’m as big as Paul, he lands on top of me. I also underestimate his strength and speed. He quickly flips around and throws a jab at my head. Luckily, I see it coming and he barely grazes my temple, but I still feel the skin split right above my eye. Then, just as fast, Paul is pulled off of me by Mark, who tells me to call the police.
When I look up, I catch her gaze. The last place I wanna be after the conversation with Travis a little bit ago. She looks hurt and beautiful and all I want to do is pull her into my arms and tell her it’s going to be okay.
Dammit Travis.
Pulling out my phone, I walk away and call the police. Knowing they are going to have questions for me, I stick around and wait, avoiding Seona at all costs. All of this shit is starting to mess with my head. It seems that every time she’s in trouble, the cosmos have seen it fit to throw us together for me to help her. I’m not sure how much more I can take before I crack.
The police don’t take long to arrive and I answer their questions as honestly and quickly as possible, wanting to get away from Seona. Okay, wanting isn’t the right word, I need to get away from Seona before something happens. The second the police are done, I ask Mark, not Travis, to drive me home. I don’t want to give Travis the opportunity to continue his questioning from earlier.
“Jayceon,” Mark calls, when I get out of the car.
“Yeah?” I ask, ducking my head back in.
“Thank you for helping today. I know Seona made some mistakes when it came to the two of you, but thank you for caring.”
Beautiful Lessons Page 24