by S M Mala
‘Over a heated debate and it got out of hand,’ she quietly replied, turning away. ‘He said something to me.’ Her face darkened. ‘So I had to tell him the truth, be honest. I told him I met someone who I liked.’
Kit leaned forward and turned her head by putting his finger under her chin. As he met her eyes, he could feel this strong emotion building in his chest.
‘Were you talking about me?’ Kit asked, his heart pounding fast.
‘It’s your fault I’m here, if you want to know. I said there was this guy, didn’t say where I met you, but I had a good feeling. Funny, my intuition was a little off.’ There was a laugh. ‘But not that much.’
‘Can I kiss you?’
‘This isn’t the right time or place. Can’t you see this is really absurd?’
Sasha moved forward and stopped millimetres by his lips.
‘How do you know I’m not trying to trick you so I can break out? Temptress and all that.’
‘Where would you run to?’
‘I have no idea.’
He watched her move closer and felt her lips against his. They were soft and warm as he enveloped his mouth with hers. It was more powerful than he remembered, merging into her arms, kissing gently. Then her tongue protruded through his lips and he reached out, sucking her all in.
Kit was lost for a long time.
In Sasha.
‘Oh my word!’ she said, gasping for a moment. ‘Those pouty lips are pretty powerful.’
‘I have to be really careful,’ he said, kissing her face. ‘This isn’t a normal situation. I don’t want to be accused of taking advantage.’
‘Me neither. Seducing my captor.’
‘You know I can’t go further,’ he said, putting his forehead against hers. ‘I don’t want to let you down but my body doesn’t work and maybe that’s a good thing. That’s why they thought I was ideal. I couldn’t do anything to you.’
‘Is that what they said?’ she laughed out loudly. ‘I hope you told them they were being rude.’
‘I wasn’t in the position to say anything.’
‘Sleep in my bed tonight,’ she asked, gulping hard. ‘We don’t do anything, just talk and get to know each other. I’d really like that and I won’t force you to do anything you don’t want to.’
‘Tell me what he did,’
… asked Kit, holding her as they lay in bed. ‘Were you scared?’
‘He just grabbed my arms and started shaking me like a rag doll. I couldn’t make him stop. I thought my head was going to explode. Cameron said couldn’t I see I was hurting him. I told him I was sorry. Then he let go and seemed shocked he’d done it. Kept apologising, saying he was stressed about business or something. I was in his house so I ran and went back home, locking the doors and turning off my phone.’
‘I want to hit him,’ Kit immediately said, feeling protective. ‘The man’s in love with you?’
‘I’m not convinced.’
‘I wonder where he thinks you are.’
‘He’ll know I’d have gone to some hotel until it cools down. And the idea I might have gone home to mother will certainly put the wind up him, especially if she finds out what he’s done to me.’ She looked up at him. ‘You won’t tell me who’s keeping me here?’
‘You know I have to tell them what you said about Cameron. They seem really worried. And you say he never touched you before?’
‘Never intentionally to hurt me.’
‘Really?’
‘I think so. He was devastated after what happened to me,’ Sasha said, moving closer. ‘Couldn’t look at me for months because he was hurting. Sometimes I wonder what he’s up to. I get tired when I’m with him. It’s like I’m fine and then I become light headed, quite placid and I can’t feel anything,’ she said, grimacing.
Kit watched Sasha think hard.
‘I need the money to help my business, my child, Justin and my mum,’ he blurted out. ‘She put up her life savings to put me in the clinic and I need to give her something back. Please don’t think I’m some sort of man who thinks this is a good idea. I didn’t. Gracie’s mother’s man is shady that’s how I got pulled into it. I didn’t like the idea that my child was being threatened.’
‘Kit, that’s really awful. Whoever’s doing this is a right bastard. Wait until I get my hands on them! Your child is the most precious thing in the world. I won’t call you jail bait behind your back.’
He started to laugh.
‘Aren’t you worried this might all backfire and you’ll get into trouble?’ Sasha whispered. ‘Whoever picked you three knew I wouldn’t be afraid, other than of your tap dancing moves.’
‘You’re not in a position to talk!’
They smiled at each other and he kissed her again, feeling her touch his shoulders. He didn’t want to pull away from the embrace, totally engrossed in her warm t-shirt covered body.
Kit felt something stir between his legs.
It wouldn’t last that long, so he ignored it, concentrating on intertwining his lips with hers.
Sex was never going to happen but he was enjoying getting as physically close as he could. Sasha pulled away and stared into his eyes.
‘I feel safe with you, Kit,’ she said, kissing his eye lids. ‘I’ve not felt like that in ages.’
‘I’m pleased.’
‘Also, I know about your little hiccup,’ she smirked, pointing her eyes downwards. ‘Maybe we’ll work on it.’
‘How?’
‘You’ve got to get to know me better, trust me, then you’ll see.’
‘And what about you saying you’ve lost your libido,’ he said, kissing her neck. ‘Is that coming back?’
‘Every time you touch my skin, I feel little tingles. Maybe you’re awakening something in me that I thought was dead and buried.’ She flinched. ‘You know what I mean, not my ex-husband as he was cremated.’
Sasha let out an embarrassed laugh.
Kit didn’t know how to reply to that.
‘And you’re not being unfaithful to anyone by doing this?’ Sasha asked.
‘I’m single.’
‘What about Gillian?’
‘I don’t do cock,’ he grimaced. Sasha started to smile. ‘Listen, if I can’t do my own one, how can I seriously consider getting anyone else’s up?’
‘Dad, you make me laugh!’
… giggled Grace. They were sharing a hot fudge Sunday on Thursday afternoon. ‘Stop being silly.’
His daughter’s cheeks had gone red from laughing so much. It brought a warm glow to his heart. He was still reeling from spending the night in Sasha’s bed and how he was feeling.
It was confusing but wonderful.
‘Mum says you have to call her,’ sighed Grace, scooping a massive chunk of fudge and putting it into her mouth.
‘What have I done now?’
‘She’s been getting upset. Peter says it’s post natal depression,’ shrugged Grace. ‘Which means she’s miserable and cries. I think it’s Peter as I heard them quarrelling. If they split up, will you come and live with us again?’
Kit was thrown by the question and grinned at his child’s blatant match making.
‘Gracie, me and your mother aren’t made for each other. Things have changed and I’m sure it’s all okay between them. You’re a worrier, like your grandmother.’
‘I worry about you,’ she frowned then pushed her spoon to the bottom of the glass. ‘As long as you’re okay and don’t get ill again, that’s very important.’
‘I’m fit and well, nothing’s going to happen to me. Unless I get trampled to death by one of the ladies in the tap dance class.’
She started to giggle again.
‘When will mum let me stay the night over at yours?’ she asked quietly. ‘I told her it would be fun.’
‘Your mum doesn’t want to let you out of her sight and I don’t blame her. One day, when you’re older, we’ll spend time together.’
Kit knew Kristin would put the screws on
and the chances would be nil but he had to lie to Grace. The truth was that, even though Kristin knew he was clean, she wasn’t going to let it go. Her argument was that he could easily slip back into it and then Grace would have to go through what she did four years ago, with the worry and nightmares.
He was never going to be allowed to forget it.
For a moment he wanted to confide in someone.
The only person was nine years old and sitting opposite him.
‘Grace, I’ve met someone who I really like,’ he said tentatively, noticing she raised her eyebrows while putting a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. ‘It’s very early days and not straightforward.’
‘How come?’
‘It’s complicated.’
‘Does she like you?’
‘I think so.’
‘Then what’s complicated?’ Grace frowned. ‘Is that why you don’t want to come and live with us?’
‘I guarantee your mum wouldn’t be too pleased,’ he laughed then saw her solemn expression. ‘You’d like her. She can tap, not that well, but she’s getting there.’
‘Really?’
‘But don’t tell anyone, not even your mum and especially grandmother. She’ll put two and two together and come up with five.’ He immediately knew she’d think he was talking about Captain dressed as Gillian. ‘And that’s pretty annoying.’
‘She told Uncle Justin she saw you with a very manly woman,’ his daughter said, looking up at him. ‘Does that mean like a woman who looks like a man?’
‘Something like that,’ he replied, wanting to strangle his mother. ‘But she was just a friend.’
‘Like your new tap dancer friend?’
‘No, my new tap dancer friend is very much a womanly sort of woman.’ Kit recalled the brief encounter when he stroked her breasts in the morning. ‘She’s all woman.’
‘She’s cooking,’
… whispered Ryan when Kit came through the door. It looked like he’d been standing in the corridor, waiting for him to walk in. ‘Have no idea what but she’s insisting I stay to eat. She’s been in a weird mood. Thinking really hard. Hasn’t moved much from the sofa. Listen, have you found anything else about what happened? Something is kicking off but I don’t know what.’
‘Did Captain tell you?’
Kit wanted to run into the kitchen, grab Sasha and kiss her.
That’s all he’d been looking forward to.
‘Gillian will be here in fifteen minutes,’ said Ryan, frowning. ‘Went for a new wig fitting so no comments.’
‘Ryan, seriously? Don’t you tell him he looks incredibly odd when he’s dressed as a woman?’ hissed Kit. ‘My mother, who encompasses most things, thinks he doesn’t look right. Someone has got to tell him.’
‘He likes this new woman, Alexandra, who’s in your tap class. Not wanting to rain on his parade but it’s too close to home. Have they asked about Sasha?’
‘They spoke about her yesterday but nothing untoward, other than the fact she went on holiday.’
‘Has she opened up a bit?’
‘A little and-.’
‘What are you whispering about?’ she asked, standing by the kitchen door. Kit instantly turned and felt a thud in his chest when he looked at her. ‘I’m making chicken stir friend noodles if you’re wondering what the wonderful aroma is.’
It smelt like burnt garlic.
‘I’m ready to break bread,’ Sasha said, putting her nose up in the air.
‘What are you talking about?’ asked Ryan, stepping closer to her.
‘I need to point out that you are all rubbish at whispering as I can hear you. I didn’t tell Kit much and I’m pleased he hasn’t said anything. I’ll talk today if only so you set me free.’
‘It’s not up to us,’ shrugged Ryan.
‘Then you’ll have to put my case forward so it happens.’
Forty five minutes later they were sitting in the kitchen, around the large wooden table, eating her food.
Kit thought it tasted delicious but was distracted with Captain, dressed as Gillian, trying to use a fork with his newly manicured hands.
It still looked wrong.
‘Why don’t you ask her out?’ said Sasha, who was talking to Ryan. The man shook his head from side to side. ‘If you’re willing to forgive then at least she should be willing to give it a try.’
‘Where I live it’s not as simple as that. People have long memories and she’s the one who won’t give it a try.’
‘I think it’s sad you can’t be happy, that’s all,’ she said into her plate. ‘When I get released, do you want me to have a word?’
‘Sasha,’ Captain said, reverting to his high pitched Gillian voice. ‘You won’t see us again.’
‘Why not?’
‘It’s inappropriate.’
‘I’ve been here a week. It’s like some reality show where you’re put together so you make friends.’
‘We’re not your friends. We’re here to keep you out of the way,’ Captain quietly answered. ‘Until …’ There was a large silence. ‘What’s going on? Can you tell us?’
Sasha put down her fork and sat back in her chair, taking a deep breath and shaking her head.
‘You know, I had no idea what I was involved in,’ she said frowning. ‘So many secrets have been kept from me. It’s only in the past four years everything’s coming out.’
‘Like what?’ asked Kit, moving closer to her.
‘Oh shit, this is really difficult,’ whispered Sasha, clasping her hands together. ‘My father looked after me and that’s because he wasn’t happy about what my mother did for a living.’ She bit her lip. ‘Thought it was sordid.’
‘Was your mother a prostitute?’ Captain asked gently. ‘It doesn’t matter, you know.’
‘They haven’t told you a thing, have they?’ she said gasping before taking a sip of water.
‘Who is your mother?’ probed Kit.
‘She works for a very large organisation.’ Sasha gulped. ‘Actually runs it.’
‘Some big company?’ Ryan looked confused. ‘Have you got anything to do with it?’
‘Not at all. I’m a sound engineer. I just keep out of it.’
‘What does she do?’ Kit asked, seeing it was something she wasn’t too keen to speak about. ‘And what has it got to do with you being here?’
‘My mother runs a criminal syndicate. A very large one.’ She inhaled quickly as Kit’s heart thundered in his chest. He glanced at the other two who looked equally shocked. ‘And she has a few enemies, as you do, when that’s your job. I’ve been kept out of it until the day Paul died. He, like me, thought that his family business of lawyers was all above board. The problem is that they’re just as shady. My husband worked on saving people from being deported while his family made a killing on importing them in, for a fee. The rich ones wanting to abscond their homes without getting arrested.’
Kit couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
Sasha stood up and took her plate to the sink, turning around quickly.
‘I’ve had a few spells in clinics, I’m sure you know that much about me.’
Kit noticed Ryan and Captain nodding in unison.
He didn’t want to acknowledge the comment.
‘I’m not a crazy person though people think I’m on something because of how I behave. But that’s because I’m tired and simply devastated when I think about everything.’ Sasha bit her lip really hard. ‘A few years back things were getting on top of me. I just wasn’t coping with day to day life. I could see the colours and hear the sounds around but I wasn’t part of it. Trying to commit suicide a few times, I knew I was unintentionally hurting the ones who tried to keep me alive.’
‘Is that what they’re doing?’ asked Captain.
‘They think I’m up to something.’
‘Are you?’
‘Trust me, Gillian, I could be,’ she dubiously responded, her face turning into a frown. ‘Too many people monitoring me and no-one
thinking that I might be getting better.’
‘It might help us understand why you’re here if they think you’re going to do something.’
‘I’m not even going to try and kill myself!’ she said, exasperated by the accusation. ‘Anyway, I took sleeping pills and whiskey last time, made me hallucinate. I thought someone told me something about the accident but I’m not sure.’ Sasha looked suddenly angry then guilty. ‘Anyway, after they pumped me out I had a banging headache and swore never again.’
‘That’s the only reason why you’re not going to try and attempt to take your own life?’ Captain said, disgusted with the comment. Kit noticed Sasha was starting to grin. ‘Men died in wars for their country.’
‘I’m very pleased for them,’ she said flatly. ‘They went in to defend the right of freedom, I take it, protecting the innocent. And I’m doing much the same thing but keeping it to myself.’ Sasha looked around the room and let out a massive sigh. ‘I know why I’m here. Heather, Cameron’s housekeeper, must have told Jeremy about what happened and he’s got something to do with it, I know it.’ Kit guiltily stared at the table. ‘All three of you are rotten crooks, do you know that? If it is that queer old man, I’ll forgive him. If it’s someone else who’s trying to fuck with my mother, I pity them.’
‘What did you think someone said to you?’ asked Kit. ‘When you were hallucinating?’
‘Bad stuff,’ she said, looking away so they couldn’t see her face. ‘I know it’s true but I’m still confused.’
They sat in the room in silence. Kit looked up at the beautiful woman, who looked no more likely to be from a family syndicate of criminals as Captain looked like a woman.
He tried to hide his scowl at the thought.
‘The bruises on my arm,’ Sasha continued, sitting back down. ‘They were down to Cameron.’ She glanced at Kit. ‘I’ve been happy for the past few months. There’s been a fog lifting from my head and it’s also down to my progression in tap.’ Kit knew Ryan and Captain were looking at him for some reassurance. Sasha caught on. ‘I call it internal tap. I feel confident doing it.’
‘Sorry to interrupt but I’ve seen you dance,’ Captain gently said. ‘You must be internally excellent.’