by S M Mala
‘Never in a million years!’ exclaimed Vanessa. ‘She didn’t want Cameron.’
‘She could have cut him out of her life,’ said Kit, biting his lip. ‘Or was she torturing him?’
‘All she wanted to do was find out the truth and she did the night he died,’ said Glenda, clearing her throat. ‘I think when she told him that she was in love with you, it pushed him over the edge and-.’
‘She could’ve been lying.’
‘You don’t think she loves you? Oh my god Kit, are you so blind? Didn’t you see her a few weeks back? She was protecting you and her family.’ Glenda double blinked and looked at him in utter surprise. ‘Didn’t she tell you?’
‘I asked her if she killed Cameron and she said she didn’t. Things got a little bit heated and I asked her more questions then decided it wasn’t going to work between us,’ he flatly replied, pursing his lips to stop them from trembling. ‘She agreed and left.’
‘I see,’ said Glenda. ‘And what did she say about Cameron?’
‘She said she didn’t kill him.’
‘Leave the kid alone. If he doesn’t want to be with her then let it be. He put his own neck on the line by getting involved and we know it wasn’t voluntarily,’ said Stuart, turning to Kit.
‘Estella set this whole thing up,’ Glenda whispered. ‘The hiring of you and the two men, the house, using Jeremy Wilton to put it together. She didn’t want Sasha to know it was her so lots of people got involved. It was only when there was a threat to Sasha and yourself, she got us to drag Sasha kicking and screaming from the house. She was really upset you were knocked out.’
‘And don’t I know it! She bit me, the little minx, when I tried to put my hand over her mouth,’ grimaced Vanessa, looking at her palm. ‘All she kept asking was if you were alright. I know she was worried sick. They arranged for her to see you. Everyone could tell you were both love sick, though now we know that’s not the case.’
Kit looked out the window and watched the world go by, not knowing what to do.
‘Do you love Sasha?’ Stuart asked gently. ‘If you say you don’t then I think you’re lying.’
Looking at all three of them, he didn’t know what to say. Glenda moved closer to him and smiled.
‘You’re dancing is atrocious right now and since you saw her last, you’ve looked so unhappy. She’s not been in any better state. Sasha doesn’t think you love her and, when someone you love doesn’t love you back, it hurts.’
Staring at the woman with the tan and expensive jewellery, he didn’t know what to say. He breathed in.
‘How is she?’ he asked, desperately wanting to know. ‘She said she wouldn’t see me again, she promised me that.’
‘She’ll stick to it, even if you want her to change her mind. Thing with that child it’s all about trust. You know she trusted Cameron before the accident, more than she did her own ex-husband. I think she feels guilty about telling him about Paul and Henry going out for the day on some business. Thing is, she didn’t expect to be in the car with her children.’
‘So she won’t see me now?’ Kit said, his voice quivering. ‘Even if you tell her I’m sorry?’
‘It’s her mother you have to deal with,’ said Vanessa, shaking her head. ‘You won’t be able to see her, not if Estella had anything to do with it. That woman even tried to stop us but I was having none of it, believe me!’
‘Can you arrange for me to see Estella?’ he quietly asked. ‘I need to know more.’
‘Don’t hold your breath,’ laughed Vanessa. ‘You’ve got about as much chance of getting that as I have a quick leg over with Stuart.’
‘For god’s sake! Can’t you see Kit’s upset,’ hissed Stuart. ‘This is all a terrible shock.’
‘Oh, I think there are a few more to come,’ Glenda mumbled. ‘I just hope he can take it.’
‘Why aren’t you dancing?’
… one of his regulars asked. ‘You’ve not shaken your booty for weeks.’
His bar was throbbing but he couldn’t feel the beat in his legs or his heart.
Everything sounded like a dull thud and there was no joy to be found from any of the songs he loved so much.
The idea of dancing made him feel like a deadweight.
Sean glanced over and smiled.
All Kit could think about was, since the last meeting with Sasha, he’d not only broken his own heart but stopped his ability to enjoy one of the things he loved so much.
Dancing.
Sasha and dancing went hand in hand.
There was no point having one without the other.
‘Kit, mate! Get us a pint,’ someone shouted out.
Turning on his auto pilot, he served the customers, made friendly banter and did all the things expected of him. Nothing seemed of interest, even when he was approached by very attractive women. It was the last thing on his mind.
His body had gone back to be being deflated. A hard on was the last thing he wanted and he didn’t even bother try to see if he could become erect.
He just didn’t care.
When he walked into the toilets, he saw it.
A small package of the rich man’s sherbet, so she called it, behind the cistern.
The temptation was too strong. He needed something to perk him up, take his mind off his woes.
Picking it up with his fingers, he examined the half gram, realising someone would miss it or it was planted there until later. There were no remnants of the dust on the toilet or even the seat.
He hesitated, wondering if one hit would make a difference.
‘Kit!’ Sean said, banging the door.
He jumped and dropped the plastic packet on the floor. He noticed Sean’s foot come out from underneath and pull it away.
Opening the cubicle door, he was met with a very concerned face.
‘I found it and was going to throw it,’ he said, shrugging and flushing the toilet.
There was no reply from his friend, who just stared at him.
‘Don’t trust me then,’ he replied, the very words making him jolt. ‘I was tempted but I wasn’t going to do anything. I know it’d only fuck up my life even more and it’s fucked up enough as it is.’
‘Somebody wants to talk to you. They’re standing at the bar.’
‘Who?’
‘Said his name was Jeremy.’
Kit froze.
‘Flush it,’ he said handing the packet over to Sean then taking off the plastic gloves and washing his hands.
He quickly examined his face and tried not to scowl.
Walking through the bar, Jeremy was standing with a man in his mid-thirties. Kit wasn’t sure if it was his body guard or his companion for the evening.
‘Mr Foley, how lovely to see you again,’ he said brightly, shaking Kit’s hand. ‘And what a marvellous lively place you have here!’
‘Yes, it’s a Friday night so we’re usually busy,’ he replied, glancing at the younger man.
‘This is my friend Bob,’ Jeremy Wilton replied. ‘I wondered, could I talk to you outside for a moment?’
‘I’m really busy at-.’
‘It’s important.’
Kit realised he really didn’t have a choice. Turning to Sean he noticed his friend had heard then nodded he could cope.
He grabbed his jacket and followed the men out.
‘You’re not worried we’re going to abduct you?’ Jeremy asked, starting to laugh.
‘It crossed my mind.’
‘You’re completely safe,’ he sighed before turning towards the park. ‘Let’s walk this way.’
It wasn’t quite dark and the street lights made the area very bright.
‘Hello Kit,’ he heard someone say and turned to see Estella. ‘Thought this might be the right time for a chat, don’t you think?’
It was odd, the immediate fear and joy he felt on seeing her again. She looked very well, tanned and relaxed.
‘Shall I leave you?’ Jeremy asked quietly. ‘We have dinner b
ooked in half an hour.’
‘It won’t take long. Wait for me in the car.’
He was desperate to see Sasha and wondered if he should beg Estella right there and then, but decided to hold on a little bit longer.
‘Let’s walk. All I ask from you is to listen. Do you agree?’ she said, a hint of gaiety in her voice. ‘It’s been a while since I went for a stroll with a handsome young man.’
‘Sure,’ he said as she linked her arm in his.
He didn’t flinch but wondered what she was up to.
‘Four years of hell he put that girl through and all because she was grieving for the loss of her loved ones. And he knew it. Trying to pin it on me only made it easier for him to isolate her from the people she loved and who wanted to protect her.’
‘You’re talking about Sasha?’ he asked, frowning instantly. Estella just laughed. ‘She said she won’t contact me again.’
‘Just listen then you can moan about how you cocked this all up.’
‘She can’t have been that innocent, whether driving him to it or doing it herself,’ Kit said, glancing away. ‘She must have pulled the trigger, set it all up, because I bet it wasn’t suicide.’
‘A detective now are you? What a spectacular combination! A tap dancing bar owner who can solve crimes,’ she said sarcastically. ‘Cameron was beside himself. I never realised the extent of how much he loved her. Still, he took away all she loved and I suspect he knew she was in love with you.’ Kit turned his head sharply to look at her. ‘Tap dancing and all the musical stuff. And you made her laugh, god, you made her so happy for that short time. You know why she agreed to speak to him? She was scared he was going to hurt you, really scared, especially after you told her about the threat to your family when you met at the hotel.’
‘You know about that?’
‘I set it all up. I could see you were upset and she was missing you so much. She’s been a pain in the arse since she fell in love. Always talking about you, so happy when she spoke.’ Estella let out a sigh while Kit felt sick. ‘It was wonderful to see her like that again. Sasha went to see him, to calm him down. He’d started to crack, you see. I could see it. She told me you didn’t want to see her again and that you didn’t love her. But she still stuck her neck out, still wanted to protect the things she loved.’
They walked down the road in silence, Estella deep in thought. The pace was slow and he had to ask.
‘Did she kill him?’
His heart was beating fast as he said it.
‘Do you care?’ Estella replied. ‘You’re not together.’
He looked at her sharply, hating what she said, knowing he didn’t want it to be true.
‘Why’d you say that?’
‘It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?’
‘Not now. I know he made her life hell and what he-.’
‘Tell me, Kit,’ she said, stopping to face him. ‘If it was your Gracie, what would you do? Knowing someone you brought into her life was causing her more harm than good but your hands were tied. Tell me?’
He couldn’t speak. He’d fight for his child’s happiness.
‘You know we would never have hurt your child, but using her to make you help was the only thing we could do,’ continued Estella. ‘We would do anything for our babies, wouldn’t we?’
‘Yes,’ he whispered, knowing she was right. ‘Cameron really took his own life?’
‘Yes and no,’ Estella sighed before reaching in her bag and lighting up a panatela. ‘The thing is, he even tried to make her suffer. The man was off his head on drugs that night. I thought an ex-addict would be able to spot it a mile.’
‘I knew he was high as a kite.’ Kit took in a deep breath. ‘He shook her like a rag doll.’
‘I knew he’d crack and would want to hurt her,’ she said, her face screwing up in anger. ‘That’s why we did the tap classes. To keep an eye and get her to focus.’ Estella hesitated. ‘Even Vanessa thought we might have to pull her into hospital to get her checked out. She said the lab that ran Sasha’s blood tests were concerned. And I think she knew what he was doing and played along until after summer. Then she started to become more alert but pretended she wasn’t.’
‘Why do you think she did that? To trick Cameron?’
‘If he realised she wasn’t either drinking or eating what he put in front of her, then he would have found another way. I don’t want to even think about that.’
‘He did it to keep her with him, didn’t he?’ Kit said, feeling angry at the man then at himself for not trying to look after Sasha. ‘Funnily enough, this is where he took me for a walk.’
‘Happy memories?’ she asked, tongue in cheek. ‘I think he kept her drugged so she wouldn’t think too much about things, keep her at an even keel. I bet he didn’t like that either. Wanting the vibrant happy version of Sasha when all he got was the broken one.’ Estella let out an unhappy sigh. ‘She deserves to be happy. The girl hasn’t done anything wrong.’
Kit pondered on what she’d just said and if Estella really believed that or she was covering for her daughter.
They entered the park with people strolling through, aimlessly unaware the turmoil Kit felt, arm in arm with the mother of the woman he loved.
‘Where is she?’ he tentatively asked. ‘Is she alright?’
‘Broken hearted because of you but I think you did the right thing,’ Estella said, shrugging her shoulders. ‘Best to let her down now before it happens later on.’
‘I just don’t-.’
‘She said to me, she said, ‘I want to be with him. He makes me happy.’ I told her not to go and see you, let the dust settle but I couldn’t stop her. In a way, Kit, you did her a favour. Sasha needs to know that men will let you down and people who say they love you, never really do.’
Estella delivered the line as if it was a known fact.
Kit would eventually let Sasha down.
‘I love her,’ he said quietly. ‘I love her very much.’
‘That’s not what she told me.’
‘I was scared to tell her, open up.’
‘If you truly did, you’d have never questioned what happened that night. You’d have been ecstatic she was in one piece.’
‘Someone died!’ he hissed, turning to look at her. ‘And she was happy, as if nothing happened but it did. The man admitted he killed her children and then took his own life, so I’m told. When I saw Sasha, I challenged her.’
‘And what right had you to do that? Question her?’ she said sharply, turning to face him. ‘Are you so wrapped up in your own fear you couldn’t see she might have been petrified for your safety?’
‘I don’t know what to think.’
‘After they took you away and Sasha knew you were safe, she cried, begged him to stop playing his game with the gun. I know she had it in her hand but the poor girl doesn’t know anything about guns.’ Estella let out a loud laugh. ‘I’m not some gangster, shooting up people. And Sasha, even when he confessed what he’d done to her family, she didn’t do anything. In fact, she dropped the bloody thing and nearly shot her own foot. Thank god someone was on hand to stop her doing more damage.’
‘How do you know what happened?’
‘You see those men who took you?’ she said, deeply inhaling from her slim cigar. ‘They’re my people and also work for Jeremy.’
‘I recognised them. They came to the house.’
‘I know,’ she sighed. ‘I put them close to Cameron to make sure I could keep an eye on him. And I was angry, very angry with that man. Did you hear about the bounty on my daughter’s head? I’ve tried all my life to hide her from the outside world, make sure any connection was never discovered. He knew by doing that he was not only exposing her, he was also exposing me.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘She’s my Achilles heel, my child. Luckily we managed to stop it going further. She doesn’t use her married name and it’s not Kerr, it’s Hoult. Cameron’s plan failed. Can you imagine how i
t was in those first few weeks? My daughter being hunted like a criminal for a bag full of cash?’ Estella laughed tiredly. ‘We put her into hiding but she was miserable. She didn’t even know what Cameron had done.’
They carried on walking, the night was getting darker and Estella led him to where the spring flowers had just bloomed. The scent was filling his nostrils though all his heart wanted was Sasha.
‘I shouted for her to come back and she didn’t,’ Kit said, getting more and more anxious. ‘When I realised what had happened, I knew I’d made a mistake.’
‘She thought she could start a new life with you, then and there. Turning up on your doorstep and hoping it would all change. Silly girl.’
Kit stopped walking. Now he was beginning to feel sick. He hadn’t realised that’s what she wanted and he’d turned her away.
After all the things he said about letting people down, especially with Grace, he’d done the same thing again. He felt wobbly on his feet and realised Estella was watching him.
‘I hear your tap lessons are more amusing since your mother’s taken over,’ Estella gently said. ‘Do you want to know what happened that night?’ He nodded and started walking. Her arm was now supporting him so he wouldn’t stumble. ‘I’m a very persuasive lady when I have people to help.’ She smiled up at him. ‘We got her out so I could have a one to one.’
‘What did Sasha say when she saw you?’
‘She was in a state but she didn’t see me. I heard everything. Cameron explained what he did. And my baby was sobbing so loudly, in such pain. I could feel it here.’ She pointed to her chest. ‘And it hurt me so much. He arranged for Paul and Henry to be killed, which was shocking enough but didn’t know Sasha and the kids would be in the car.’ Estella’s eyes filled with tears. ‘My grandchildren were beautiful. Florence looked like her mum and had amazing brown almond shaped eyes. Such a darling. Mylo was a typical little boy and had a smile that could light up your heart.’
Closing her eyes, tears fell down her cheeks.
Kit was crumbling inside, watching her pain, knowing it was for Sasha.
‘She talks about them with such love,’ he whispered. ‘I don’t know how she survived. It must kill her to know not only she lost them but it was done intentionally.’