This Would Make a Good Story Someday

by Dana Alison Levy

  I put my ruined head between my knees and covered it with my arms. “I was…I wanted an outwardly visible way to show I’ve changed,” I mumbled. I closed my eyes. I wanted more than anything in the world to be home, in my bed in Shipton, with this whole thing a bad dream.

  Mom kept talking, but I pressed my arms tighter over my head.

  Just then Laurel and Root came over. “What’s going on over here? We found the bathrooms, if anyone needs them,” Laurel said, crouching down next to me. “WHOA! What happened to you, Say-S—I mean, Rae?”

  I shook my head. I couldn’t even form words.

  But Mom could. She glared at Laurel. “Sara took it into her head to dye part of her hair blue, only she managed instead to permanently damage her hair and dye her skin.”

  Root murmured something about toxic chemicals in beauty products, but I didn’t even look up.

  Laurel put her arm over my shoulder. “Oh, poor So-So,” she said. “That’s a bummer, for sure. But don’t freak out. It’s not that bad.”

  I peeked out. Although her arm was around me, Laurel was looking at Mom. “Jeesh, Mom, this is hardly the end of the world. Hair grows back, and as for her blue ear, well—”

  “THAT IS SO NOT A HELPFUL ATTITUDE!” Mom bellowed. “And I would think that you’d at least realize now that your example is the last thing your sisters need!”

  Laurel stood up so that she and Mom were standing over me. I stayed on the ground, picking off pieces of my hair and letting them fall all around me. It was like being in my own tiny hairy snowstorm.

  “My example?” Laurel said. “How is this possibly my fault? And tell me exactly, what’s so horrible here? That she tried to dye her hair? Let me guess…you think that’s too dangerous!”

  “Well, the chemicals can be carcinogens, so that is pretty dangerous,” Root said, but they both ignored him.

  “You know very well what I mean—” Mom said, but before she could say anything more, Laurel interrupted.

  “Sara’s trying something, and even if it didn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world. She’s allowed to take risks. I’m allowed to take risks! Because not everyone wants to play it safe all the time—”

  “There’s a difference between taking thoughtful risks and the kind of dangerous or nonsensical choices you’re making these days,” Mom said. “Focus on your education for once, instead of—”

  “UGH! I can’t deal with you anymore!” Laurel had her hands on her hips. “My education doesn’t only happen in the classroom!”

  Mom looked like she was going to throw something. Both of them had forgotten about me and my hair. I hadn’t seen them fight like this since before Laurel moved to Alaska. I hated it.

  Mom glanced around at the silent platform, and lowered her voice to an angry whisper. “That might be true, but the classroom’s where you need to focus your time. Enough! Enough of your endless distractions!”

  “Distractions?! Is that what you call the rest of the world?” Laurel laughed, but it wasn’t a funny laugh. “I’ve had enough of the classrooms! What I need is to get out there and actually learn from the world around me! In fact,” Laurel yelled, stepping away from Mom, her arms out in front of her, “I’m DONE!”

  Mom opened her mouth, and closed it again. She looked at Mimi, who was holding Ladybug and standing next to me. I looked up at all of them from my wet miserable hair-covered spot on the ground. Laurel was bright red, her eyebrows scrunched together and mad, and Mom didn’t look any better.

  “What do you mean, Laurel?” Mom asked finally, her voice quieter.

  Laurel didn’t even pause. “I’m not sure I’m going back to Berkeley,” she said, and her voice was quieter too, but no less mad. “There are a lot of important things our world needs right now, and I’m not going to sit around and ignore that.”

  I stared at her. Even my hair didn’t seem that important all of a sudden. Drop out of school? Laurel? I glanced at Mom, and found her staring at me.

  “Come on, Sara,” she said, walking by Laurel as if she weren’t there. “Let’s go into the bathroom and try to get rid of the dye.”

  Ladybug peered over Mimi’s shoulder. “Oooh, Say-Say, your ear’s a really pretty blue. I wish my ear was blue!”

  Mimi shushed her.

  I got up silently and went with Mom. Laurel just watched us go.

  Now we’re back on the train, which got fixed, temporarily at least, and will take us to Chicago. I didn’t see Travis again after he poured water on my head….Who knows what the heck he thinks about us now? I don’t even know if Mom and Laurel are talking to each other, or if Mom is talking to me. For the rest of the night we were all pretty silent. Once we got on the train, everyone went right back to bed. I’m writing by flashlight, but there’s no bullfrog snoring and no ocean waves.

  I don’t think anyone is getting any sleep tonight.

  Sorry this page is so wet. It’s stupid to care, with everything going on with Laurel, but I can’t help crying. My hair! I’ve been growing it for four years, and honestly, it was the only cool thing about me. I haven’t even looked in the mirror yet. I’m too scared. I guess I got an “outwardly visible sign” all right….Now I’ll look as freakish and horrible as I feel.

  Fun Fact!

  The Chicago Cubs baseball team had the longest losing streak in baseball history, until they won the World Series in 2016. Before that, they had not won since 1908. (I sympathize. Feels like I’m at the start of a historic losing streak myself.)

  We’re all up and packed before the train arrives in Chicago. I’m so tired, I feel like I have sand in my eyes. Mimi and Mom don’t look much better than I feel….They’re staggering around in silence, clutching their coffees and packing one-handed. We’re all pretending things are normal, passing each other stuff and moving out of each other’s way. But it’s weird. Root stopped in to get the water bottles to refill and said Laurel was “taking the morning to recalibrate her energies” and would see us in Chicago. Mom nodded and handed him the bottles. He stood there like he was going to say something else, but then he left.

  Why does he keep leaving these notes? I CANNOT BELIEVE I’M GOING TO HAVE TO FACE HIM WITH MY TORCHED-HAYSTACK HAIR. UGH. I am completely mortified.

  Travis is a pretty good artist. The snake looks good with sideburns. But still…on a scale of one to ten, my humiliation is around 463.

  Oh, and Mom and Mimi left for the café car, and put these on my suitcase:

  ★ A light cotton scarf (Mimi’s) to hide my blue ear

  ★ A big straw sun hat (Mom’s) to hide my machete-chopped hair

  ★ Several barrettes and hair clips (Ladybug’s)

  Also, I missed breakfast, and now we’re pulling into Chicago. My stomach is growling so loudly, Ladybug got all excited, thinking someone had a dog. I hate my life.

  Laurel, Root, and I are sitting in a café, where I’m FINALLY getting some food. The NTFs were quite concerned about our lack of breakfast and have been twittering and clucking around us and making sure we’re fed. Let me correct that: Gavin and Travis have been twittering, practically force-feeding us from their stash of trail mix, beef jerky (seriously, no), and peanut M&M’s. You would think that Miss Ruby and Miss Georgia would be the ones wanting to feed us—after all, my nana practically assaults us with baked goods when we go to visit her. But these women couldn’t care less. They were too busy arguing over whose turn it was to carry Elvis. Because, yes, they are now carrying around the life-sized Elvis cutout.

  Travis on the other hand seemed to honestly fear for our lives. And I’ll be honest. I don’t like to skip a meal at all. (In fact, Laurel once bought me a T-shirt that says, “I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry.”) But even I don’t take my meals quite as seriously as the Texans.

  Once we got out in the daylight with the NTFs, having to deal with luggage and maps and travel stuff, Mom and Laurel were kind of normal. Or normal-ish. I mean, they ask each other questions and answer them, so there’s no ob
vious Silent Treatment happening, but they’re avoiding eye contact, and no one is saying much of anything beyond the bare necessities. Still, for Laurel that’s not bad. I hope they make up soon….It’s hard enough being miserable about my hair without having to worry about them.

  Meanwhile I’ve got Mimi’s scarf flung casually (I hope) around my neck, and the hat pulled down low. Luckily, we’re eating outside, so it looks pretty normal. Maybe. I barely had time to look in the mirror before we got off the train, and it’s bad. Oh, it’s really bad. Mimi said she’ll take me to get a haircut today in Chicago, so at least I won’t have grayish flakes of once-was-hair falling off anymore. But I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about my ear.

  Anyway, we’re here, and just finished eating some kind of bacon-with-a-side-of-sausage special that had Root looking a little ill but made me and Laurel very happy. Once they made sure we were fed, Gavin and Travis went off with Mom and Mimi, figuring out some tour information, and Miss Ruby and Miss Georgia (and Elvis) left to ask the waiter to take their photo. It seems like everyone’s busy, but I’m afraid they’re staring at me. I can’t tell how much of my hideous hair–blue ear combo is showing, so I keep adjusting the scarf. Laurel just slapped my hand down and told me to leave it alone or she’ll grab the scarf and hide it.

  I guess I’ll just see if there’s more bacon.

  TO: EmilyGirl, SaanviTheFab

  FROM: SaraJF

  SUBJECT: Me in Chicago and some news

  Hey, you guys!! I miss you INSANELY much. Or maybe I’m just going insane…hahahahahaha. Kidding. Sort of.

  Actually, I have to tell you something. Or a couple of things, really.

  First: My hair is officially…different. I’m not going to say anything more right now, but it is definitely changed. So I guess I can check that one off the Reinvention List.

  Second: While the blue dye didn’t quite work as planned, it turns out that it’s pretty strong stuff. My ear is actually blue. We’re not sure if it will wash off. I mean, OF COURSE IT WILL WASH OFF! Eventually. It just hasn’t yet.

  Third: Laurel and my mom had a huge fight and Laurel says she might want to drop out of college! Mom is Freaking. Out. Not sure how they’re going to manage the rest of this trip.

  So…yeah, that’s the big news. Other than that, I guess the trip is going fine. I mean, we’ve seen some really cool stuff. We’re in Chicago now. Check out the photo—that’s Ladybug in a clear glass box on the Skydeck. I’m telling you, Google the Chicago Skydeck. Is that nuts or what?? You’re literally suspended over the street off the 103RD FLOOR!!! AS IN YOU ARE OVER 1000 FEET UP IN THE AIR STANDING ON A PIECE OF GLASS!!!

  I was too chicken to do it. Big surprise there.

  Okay, enough of that! Tell me the gossip from home? How’s surf camp?? Vi, how’s the design stuff? Do you miss me?? TELL ME YOU MISS ME!! It feels like I’ve been gone a million years.

  XOXOXOXOXO Rae

  P.S. I’ll send you a picture of my hair, but…not yet. I just can’t deal.

  P.P.S. That dude in the photo with Ladybug is Travis, one of the other National Rail winners. Some facts about him:

  1) I told you I wasn’t lying about the cowboy hat.

  2) He’s so friendly, it freaks me out. First I thought it was all some sarcastic game, but I think he really might be that friendly. Weird, right?

  3) His two great-aunts are on the trip with him, and honestly, they’re kind of awesome. When we’re ninety, we should take a train trip, if trains are even still a thing. Maybe we’ll have flying cars by then.

  XO Rae

  TO: SaraJF, SaanviTheFab

  FROM: EmilyGirl

  SUBJECT: re: Me in Chicago and some news

  Oh. My. God. SARA!!!!!! I mean, RAE!!!!!! What is going on with your hair? Send photos!! I’m sure it’s amazing! But:

  First: I’ve been wimping out of doing my pink stripe, but maybe I’ll do it tonight. I’ll send you photos!

  Second: Your ear is blue? Does that mean you did dye your hair? Anyway, that dye has to wash off your ear, right?? I mean, people don’t generally walk around blue, and tons of people dye their hair. So yeah. I’m sure it’ll be gone soon.

  Third: WOW, your mom must be freaking! That’s crazy—does Laurel really want to drop out? What would she do? What’s Root think of all this? (Also, ROOT! How’s he been as a travel companion? Do tell!)

  Fourth: That Travis boy is kind of cute! Maybe he could loan you his hat, if you don’t like your new hair. KIDDING. Kidding. Sort of.

  Home is fine and boring. It’s only been a few weeks, and you know Shipton, nothing ever really changes here. Chicago sounds amazing. Even with all the hair and Laurel craziness, I’m still jealous! Of course we miss you….The three musketeers aren’t the same when one of our musketeers is gallivanting around the country! :(

  XOX Em

  Back in the hotel. Ladybug, Laurel, Root, and Travis are all playing cards in Travis’s room. And Mom and Mimi are downstairs in the restaurant, having a Parents-Only Conversation about Laurel. So I’m alone for the first time since we left Shipton. But for some stupid reason, instead of being relieved to finally have some peace and quiet, I feel like I’m missing out. Which is idiotic. I don’t even like card games.

  Maybe I’m just exhausted. Mimi and I went off and found a hair salon to deal with my hair, and they had to cut off practically all of it. Not Laurel-buzz-cut short, but definitely too-short-for-a-ponytail short. Mimi says it looks amazing and chic and reminds her of a young Audrey Hepburn, whoever that is, but I feel naked. Which, given that my ear is still a kind of faint blue after the lemon juice, isn’t my favorite thing. I guess I got my “outwardly visible signal,” though.

  Chicago was pretty cool, I admit. The Art Institute was my favorite—incredible paintings and sculptures, and also air-conditioning. Of course when I got all excited about these amazing Hindu paintings, Mimi got even MORE excited and wanted “In your own words, sweetie!!” for me to tell her my impressions of the art. I don’t want to be horrible, but she’s the one getting paid—she can say it in her own words. My words are my own, and this stupid million-page journal is the only place they’re going.

  Ugh. Maybe I’ll go see what’s happening in the card game. At least then I’ll have something to do. But then they’ll think I want to hang out with them.

  Never mind. I guess I’ll just get ready for bed.

  Another note under the door. He’s SO weird. But in a nice way. I guess.

  It’s pretty cool Miss Ruby thinks I look like a movie star, even if she did say I had a mop before. I sure don’t have a mop now. More like a Swiffer.

  Ugh. Mom came in to have a conversation with me about “poor choices” and “impulsivity” and “choosing good role models.”

  All I did was try to dye the ends of my hair, for crying out loud! You would think I’d tried to run away and join the circus. I said that, which I think was a mistake.

  Mom exploded, in a quiet, don’t-wake-Ladybug kind of way. “You may think this is funny—” she started, but I interrupted.

  “I definitely don’t think it’s funny. Believe me, burning my hair right off my head is the last thing I’d find hilarious,” I said.

  But she kept going. “—but I assure you, Mimi and I are not laughing. Not at all. Your sister has been modeling some very…misguided behavior, and I don’t want you to think—”

  Just then Laurel and Root came in. Root took a look at me and Mom and scuttled into the bathroom, but Laurel kind of squared her shoulders like she was heading into battle. Which I guess she was. Because she turned to Mom and said, “You know, freaking out at Sara—sorry, Rae, because of her hair seems pretty superficial, don’t you think? It’s hair. It’s going to grow back. It’s not permanent. And you know something else? If I take some time off from college, that’s not permanent either. You get that, right? I can always go back. But you’re such a perfectionist, you can’t bear the thought that we might do something that you didn’t plan out fo
r us.”

  Well.

  Consider that a shot fired in World War Mom and Laurel. Mom pretty much blew up. She immediately started protesting that she lets us make mistakes, plenty of them, but her job as a parent is to guide us, and help us avoid the most costly and dangerous mistakes. Then Laurel started in on how at twenty she could use her own judgment on these things, and didn’t Mom have any faith in how they’d raised her, and Mom got kind of teary and shiny-eyed and said she hoped so, but that wasn’t enough to keep her girls safe.

  By now they both were crying and whisper-shouting, trying not to wake Ladybug or bother Mimi, who had holed up in the bedroom to write. I was stuck wondering what to do….At least Mom wasn’t freaking out over my hair anymore, but it seemed kind of cowardly to bail on Laurel when she had jumped into the fight to save me. So I stood there, swiveling back and forth between them like I was watching a tennis match.

  Finally Laurel put up both hands, like she was stopping traffic. “We’re not going to agree on this, at least not tonight. And I don’t want to ruin our trip. So let’s just…let it lie for now. Okay?”

  Mom paused, mid-blast. “Let it lie?” she repeated.

  “Like letting a field go fallow,” Root said, emerging from the bathroom. “Helps the soil replenish the nutrients that have been used up. Great metaphor, you know?”

  Mom and Laurel both stared at him. Mom finally kind of exhaled in a big sigh, and her shoulders dropped a little. “Sure. We’ll…let it lie.”

  She walked over and hugged Laurel, who hugged her back, hard. Then Mom hugged me. “And as for your hair, there’s not much we can do about it at this point. I think you’ve pretty much been punished already. We’ll just…let that lie too.”