Little Wild Flower, Amish Romance/Amish Fiction/Christian Romance

by Samantha Jillian Bayarr

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to jump to conclusions. I wanna see you so badly tonight,” I said.

  “Can you stay for a while? I have chores, but I can talk while I work.”

  “I should get back. My mamma needs me to watch Molly while she prepares the evening meal.”

  He offered a friendly hug, and then whispered in my ear.

  “At least they’re letting you stay home from school tomorrow for your birthday,” he said cheerfully.

  “It’s not like I’m learning anything anyway. I wish my parents would either let me go to the public school or let me stay home,” I said.

  “Let’s put all our worries behind us and think of our day tomorrow. I’m looking forward to our day together.”

  “You're right. I’m looking forward to our picnic, too.”

  He kissed me on my forehead, then told me to go before someone came looking for me. I left reluctantly but happier than when I’d first seen him.

  Despite the fact that Elijah and I would remain home from the Singing, I still continued to sulk the rest of the day. At dinner, I pushed my food around my plate so much that my mother asked me to leave the table.

  Mitchell followed me outside. “What’s on your mind, Squirt?”

  “Stop talking to me like I’m a child, Mitchell. That’s all anyone does anymore. I’m not a child. I’m growing up.”

  He sat on the porch swing beside me and began to push with one foot. “Everyone can see how much you're growing up. Why do you think the folks want to keep you down a bit?”

  He didn’t give me a chance to answer.

  “It’s so you don’t grow up too fast.”

  “But I’m tired of being treated like a little kid. And I’m upset because I don’t have a birthday present for Elijah. I just feel like nothing is gonna go right tomorrow.”

  Mitchell grabbed my hand and pulled me off the porch swing. “Come with me. I have an idea. Something that might make things a little better.”

  I followed him to the Dawdi Haus where he dug through a few boxes at the far end of the enclosed porch until he pulled what he was looking for from the last box.

  “This is brand new. Still has the tags on it. I bought it just before we moved here thinking I would wear it, but all I wear is dirty jeans to work in the fields. Elijah is about the same size as I am. I think it’ll fit him.”

  I took the tan, suede vest, feeling unsure of whether I should thank him or toss it aside.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, but what if Elijah doesn’t like it? I’ve never seen any of the Amish boys wearing stuff like this.”

  “Even if he doesn’t like it, he will like it just because it’s from you.”

  “That makes no sense at all, but I hope you’re right.”

  “Guys love getting gifts from girls. Trust me.”

  He took it back from me and cut the tags off.

  “Now it’ll look like it wasn’t store-bought.”

  “Thanks Mitchell.”

  I left the porch of the Dawdi Haus feeling a lot better than I had at the dinner table. I’d have to remember to apologize to my mother for not eating the dinner she prepared.

  ****

  When the time came for Nadine to leave, I felt bitterness and jealousy rise up in me again. Hannah came to the door to alert Nadine that the group was ready to go. I forced a smile and told them both how wonderful they looked, but inside I was furious that I was being left out. After they left, I ran sobbing to my room and sat in the window seat, watching the horse-drawn buggies as they pulled away from the house. I wasn’t surprised to see Mitchell in the front seat of a buggy. He would be doing the driving for the evening. Mr. Zook still wasn’t comfortable with Rebekah riding in our Volkswagen Bus or the station wagon so Mitchell often borrowed Samuel Beiler’s courting buggy.

  Benjamin drove his own courting buggy with Nadine in front with him, while Hannah rode in the back. I could hear them laughing as they left the long drive before turning onto the main road.

  Too upset to bother with lighting the lantern, I wandered around my room with only the moonlight to guide me. Finding my long linen nightgown, I pulled it over my head and tied the ribbon at the ruffled neckline. Tears dropped from my eyes as I fidgeted with the ruffles that fell along my wrists. Curious thoughts filled my head causing me to wonder why I had acted like the child I was trying so desperately to leave behind. It felt awkward to have adult feelings and still be considered a child by all those around me. I wanted so much to be grown up.

  Without warning, a light flashed from outside through the bedroom window several times. I sat still for a moment watching what seemed to be a pattern of flashes. Unsure of what it might be, I was cautious in going toward the window. Deciding it would be better to keep my distance, I stood on Nadine’s bed in order to be high enough to see what was down below. A light shone on Elijah’s face and I laughed aloud as I hopped from the bed to the floor. I pushed open the window and called out to him as quietly as I could.

  “What’re you doing here?”

  I turned my head sideways and pressed my ear to the screen, thinking it would help me to hear his response. “I came to rescue my fair maiden. Come down to meet your knight!”

  “What do you know about fair maidens and knights?”

  “I can read, you know.”

  He sounded insulted, but I giggled for a moment at his silliness, then, told him to wait while I looked for my robe. I struggled in the dark, only able to find my plaid poncho.

  Deciding I would rather not use the poncho, I grabbed the cream-colored, tasseled throw blanket from the end of my bed and threw it about my shoulders. I rushed down the back stairs and crept out the side door beneath my bedroom window. His arms reached out to me and I went to him without hesitation. I could have let him hold me all night except for the fact that I was curious to find out why he had really come to see me.

  “What’re you doing here? I felt so left out when everyone went to the Singing. Oh, it doesn’t matter, I’m just so glad you're here.”

  I flung myself back in his arms, not wanting him to let go.

  “I told you I wouldn’t go to the Singing without you. You’re my fair maiden.”

  We both laughed heartily, then, hushed each other so we wouldn’t be heard.

  “Let’s go over and sit under the tree,” he suggested.

  “So how did you know which window was mine?” I asked, pointing upward.

  “I have a little confession of my own,” he said, covering his face momentarily. “When you first moved in, I would often see you sitting in the window, and I’d watch you. All the while, I wondered who you were and what could possibly have made you so sad.”

  “I love that window seat. It was the only thing that made my moving here a little easier. I suppose it’s because it became my new thinking spot.”

  “Every time I’d see you sitting there, I would wonder how long it would be before I could meet you. I would sit and watch you twisting your beautiful wavy hair between your fingers, wondering if I would ever be able to touch it.”

  He reached out and grabbed a curl that hung alongside of my face and twisted it the way I always did. He smiled mischievously, causing me to feel suddenly very shy.

  We sat under the large maple tree, and talked for nearly two hours. When we began to hear the gentle clip-clop of the horse’s hooves, we knew that the courtiers were coming home. Elijah helped me to my feet, pulled me close and kissed me square on the lips, then, left me at the back porch. I was too shocked from the kiss to go back in the house just then, so I waited a while, allowing the gentle rhythm of the cricket’s song to trap me in a mesmerized state just a little while longer.

  ****

  In the morning, I was too excited about my birthday to stay in bed. Being a Monday, my father had to work so I wanted to catch him before he left. Thinking back on previous birthdays made me appreciate this one the most. I realized that this birthday woul
d mark the first year I wouldn’t have to solicit well wishes from my family. Today, I determined, would be the most special of all birthdays ever because I would spend it with Elijah, whom I genuinely loved.

  The smell of fresh coffee made its way up the stairs as I pulled my robe from the peg behind my bedroom door. After brushing my teeth, I crept down the stairs so as not to wake my mother. Before reaching the bottom of the stairwell, I overheard voices and decided it was best not to enter the room just yet. Strangely, my mother was up, and having what sounded to me to be a serious conversation with my father. I decided to sit in the front room to allow them some private time before I interrupted. My ears perked up when I heard Elijah’s name mentioned. “But Anna, she’s clearly attached to the boy already, and I’m sure his intentions are proper. Elijah ain’t looking’ to get her into trouble,” my father said.

  Get me in trouble how? What’re they talking about?

  Before I had much time to think about it, the question was answered for me.

  “Since our talk with Abraham and Naomi about the two of them, they have gotten a little more chummy,” my mother was saying.

  We’re not chums. We’re much more than that.

  The thought of my parents having a talk with the Zook’s about Elijah and me was enough to make my stomach turn. It made me nervous—even a little angry.

  “After the party tonight, the four of us should sit down and have a talk with the two of them. If they intend to court, they’ll need some talking to so we can set things straight with them,” my father finished.

  He kissed my mother, and was out the door before I had time to think about losing my chance to talk to him. I crept back up the stairs, figuring it was better that I not let on that I’d eavesdropped on a conversation that I shouldn’t have. Then I knelt down beside my bed to whisper a prayer.

  “God, if you’re there, I beg of you to take away the nervous feeling in my stomach. I’m worried that Mamma and Daddy will never let me court Elijah. You know how much I love him already, and I know he loves me too, even if he hasn’t admitted it yet. Please help me. Bless us on our birthday today, and let Elijah like the gift I’m giving him. You know I ain’t got any real bread to buy him something cool, unless you count what’s in my piggy-bank. I know it don’t matter to Elijah if I buy him something. I’m not complaining, God, but I wish I had more cash to get him something nicer. I know Mitchell said he’d like the vest, but he ain’t Amish, so he don’t know for sure what Elijah would like or not. Thanks for all your blessings, and thanks for making Mitchell so generous and giving me the vest so I could give it to Elijah. Amen.”

  Nadine stirred in her bed a little, so I decided it was best if I left the room to shower. When I returned from the bathroom, Nadine was sitting up on her bed, looking as though she were thinking earnestly.

  “Is anything wrong, Nadine?” I asked her quietly.

  “No, it’s just that I heard you praying and I know you don’t know if Elijah will like your gift or not. I wasn’t eavesdropping, I just sorta overheard you. I’m pretty sure he’ll like it just because it’s from you.”

  I sat there, bewildered for a moment, unable to process her statement.

  “Yeah, that’s what Mitchell said. Don’t worry about it. I think it’s a hopeless cause,” I finally said.

  “Try to think of a backup plan; something he likes to do or anything he might have said that would be pleasing to him. Might there have been anything he’s been hinting to you about?”

  She took her time asking the question, as though she were also giving it some thought. Suddenly, the most wonderful idea came to my head. I was so elated that I hopped over to Nadine and gave her a squeeze around her shoulders.

  “Oh! Wait—never mind.”

  I slumped back down on my own bed.

  “I had a great idea, but I just realized that I have no idea how to go about it. There’s no way that I can do the only thing that Elijah has told me he would like.”

  I sulked as I pulled my knees to my chest and leaned up against the wall that my bed bordered. When I finally looked over at Nadine, she seemed to have a confused look on her face. I reached over and waved my hand in front her face to get her attention but it did no good. She jumped when I tapped her arm, which made me jump back a little.

  This started us laughing, though we immediately began shushing each other to keep from waking Rachel who lay undisturbed in her bed on the other side of the room.

  “What was your idea, and why is it impossible?”

  I sat down on her bed to explain my plan and how I didn’t know how to fix my hair the way that Elijah had suggested.

  “Is that all?”

  I was a little offended that she had taken my dilemma so lightly.

  “What do you mean, ‘is that all’?” I snapped at her. “This is a big deal to me, I’m sixteen now—almost a woman!”

  I could see that Nadine was suppressing a smile, which caused me to laugh at myself. She joined in and we started shushing one another again.

  “I’ll help you. We can get Mom’s bobby pins and her Aqua Net to tack it down so the top won’t move around.”

  “Fine, but Elijah said he’d like it if I left a few curls to dangle around my face, like this,” I tried demonstrating to her.

  “Ooh. That’s gonna look awful pretty.”

  After getting permission from my mother to use her things for my experimental “grown-up” hairstyle, we set to work on various ways to accomplish the task at hand. First it was too high on my head, then, the next few tries ended up falling out. I began to get a little flustered at the several failed attempts.

  “Maybe this was a stupid idea,” I said. “I’ll just go with my hair down like I always do.”

  I pouted some more, thinking it would make me feel better, but it didn’t.

  “Why are you giving up, Jane?”

  “Because I’m never going to get it to look the way Elijah wanted it.”

  Nadine rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why you have to be so perfect for him.”

  “Because I really like him a lot and I want him to be attracted to me too.”

  Nadine shook her head. “I get positive vibes when he’s around you. He obviously thinks you’re cool or he wouldn’t want to spend his birthday with you, Jane. He would’ve blown you off.”

  I pursed my lips. “I don’t want him to think I’m cool. I want him to fall in love with me.”

  My heart skipped a beat when my mother suddenly appeared behind me. We caught each other’s eye in the bathroom mirror, and I wondered how much of the conversation she had heard between Nadine and me.

  “Would you like some help?”

  My mother’s voice was quiet and controlled. “We can’t seem to get my dumb hair to go the right way,” I answered nervously.

  She moved between us and began twisting and turning my hair in several directions before she started pinning it in place. I kept my head down out of fear that it still wouldn’t be what I’d pictured it in my head. After feeling a few more sticks and pinches on my head from the pins, I slowly opened my eyes to view the finished product. At first, I was stunned. I stared for a long time, turning my head every which way to see it from every angle.

  “Do you think this is what Elijah had in mind?” my mother asked, a smile forming crinkles at the corners of her eyes.

  Most of the color drained from my face, because at that moment I knew she had heard me speak of Elijah. I pulled once or twice at the wavy strands of hair that were determined to hang in my face; as if I needed another distraction today.

  “Mamma. I uh…uh.”

  It was no use. I was cornered and couldn’t talk my way out of this one no matter how hard I tried. I’d never been quick witted—that was Nadine’s talent.

  “Don’t worry; I know how special he is to you. I think he’s a very good friend for you,” she said.

  A good friend? I want him for more than a friend.

  I was in love with him, but my moth
er didn’t need to know that just yet. As long as she thought we were just friends, we could spend time together. But I knew the minute she thought there was more to it, I would be watched and stifled, and I would probably never have any more alone time with Elijah.

  The color returned to my cheeks, making me look as embarrassed as I felt because I knew I wanted more than friendship from Elijah.

  Just when I thought my mother was going to leave the room, she reached around the back of the bathroom door and lifted something on a hanger from the doorknob.