Little Wild Flower, Amish Romance/Amish Fiction/Christian Romance

by Samantha Jillian Bayarr

  Elijah suddenly halted the horse, then, turned to me with a smile. He kissed me gently on the lips, making me want more from him than what he offered. It comforted me to know that we would never again have to stop ourselves in the passionate love that we had for one another. I also knew that this was not the time for any of that, married or not. We were already risking a lot, as the Amish did not show affection in public—newlywed or not, and I knew the rules. After all, the kiss at the church was far longer than was expected by all that observed it.

  “I didn’t bring you here to get all involved with kissing and the like. I wanted to have you to myself for a few minutes before everyone took your attention from me for the rest of the day. I wanted a minute to look at my beautiful bride. After today, you’ll be my wife—only today will you be my bride. I just want to remember everything about this day.”

  His voice poured forth all the love that I had been waiting to share with him ever since I first laid my eyes on him. He kissed me again, and I gave in to his irresistible charm. Knowing that we had our wedding night ahead of us made it easier to stop when Elijah prompted.

  “Shall we ride back and fulfill our duty to our families?”

  “I suppose we ought to get back,” I agreed reluctantly.

  “We have the rest of our lives to be together. This is our family’s time, and we would be selfish if we didn’t allow them their time. Don’t mistake my words. I want so much to jump ahead to our time alone tonight. However, I love you so much it will be worth the wait. That is what has made me strong enough to wait for our wedding night—and God’s strength, of course,” he said, laughing lightheartedly.

  He was so wise—one of the many reasons I admired him so. With one click from Elijah, Eli was trotting along the path that led to our new home. As we approached the hill, we looked down at our property, which was already filled with buggies and people—all of them eagerly awaiting our arrival. We both took a deep breath as we made our way down the trail that led to the celebration. Family members followed us into the house as we entered to partake in the wedding banquet.

  Elijah seated me at the main table, then, took his place at my right, as is proper seating at Amish wedding dinners. The Miller family did the serving for the day, and even kept up with the cleaning. I had to admit that I was worried at first, regarding the amount of people that had squeezed into our home. The respect for our things was overwhelmingly taken into consideration, and I felt confident that by the day’s end, all would be back in its place in our large home.

  ****

  It seemed a small eternity before the last guests bid their good wishes and good-byes to us. Even though the hour had only reached eight o’clock, I felt wiped out from the day’s events. I wondered how I would muster up enough energy to spend the remainder of the evening with my new husband in solitude. I was grateful that Nadine and Benjamin had assisted the move of our personal belongings into the house the day before, for it gave me a sense that the house was finally my own.

  Once inside my new bedroom, I removed Elijah’s Bible from his bedside table and took it into the bathroom with me as I readied myself for my husband. I held the Bible in my hands as I traced over the raised gold lettering that read; King James.

  I lit the lantern and laid aside my bedclothes. Then I sat on the edge of the bathtub to read as I turned on the water to fill the large tub. I felt the need for a hot soak before retiring, due to the heavy load I had endured throughout the week. I felt weary and even a bit scared, yet giddy as I prayed for God’s guidance to a scripture that would prepare me for my time alone with Elijah. Nadine had suggested reading The Song of Solomon, but I still felt the need to pray for guidance.

  Before I realized, I had opened my husband’s Bible to the very pages my sister had suggested. I scrolled through for several minutes before deciding to fetch my own version from my bedside table. I compared the two until my bath was filled. Then, I settled into the tub, placing my Bible aside. I didn’t need to read the verses anymore; I’d read them so many times already I had them mostly memorized.

  Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is more delightful than wine. Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out…. My lover is to me a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts…. How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant…. My lover is mine and I am his; he browses among the lilies. Until the day breaks and the shadows flee…. Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires….

  I glanced over at the closed Bible, intending to let the evening unfold as God designed it to. Then I said a quick prayer for wisdom as I heard Elijah enter the bedroom.

  When a knock came at the bathroom door, I sat up, pulling my knees to my chest, and instinctively covering my breasts with crossed arms. My fear took over me, not allowing me to answer the knock. After a short pause, the door opened and my husband entered the dimly lit room. He was still dressed in his suit from the wedding, and I felt exposed in total nakedness.

  He looks so handsome. But what will he think of me? Please don’t look at me yet, I’m not ready.

  He knelt down beside the tub without saying a word to me, and dipped his hand in the water to retrieve the sea sponge that I used when I bathed. He squeezed the sponge over my shoulders, allowing the warm water to drip across my breasts, which I still protected from his sight. I felt somewhat vulnerable in my nakedness—much in the same way that I had as a child. Throughout most of my childhood, my mother had repeatedly told me that my body was dirty, and it was to be kept covered. Even now it was difficult to shake the lies that I had grown up believing. I knew I was allowed to be naked in my husband’s presence, as Adam and Eve had been in the Garden of Eden. However, I lacked the knowledge of how to react to Elijah’s boldness.

  Oh Lord, give me the courage to let go of my breasts, I prayed in my mind.

  Elijah didn’t pressure me—he handled my feelings with a quiet gentleness. Soon, I felt kisses on the back of my neck and shoulders as he continued to sponge water across my back. My face turned to his, allowing him to kiss my lips. Being lost in my love for him, I began to relax, forgetting about my nakedness. He stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes, then pulled two gold rings from his pant pocket and held them in his open hand. I instinctively took the larger one from his hand without saying a word and placed it on his finger. He placed the other ring on my finger, then, stood to his feet and reached for my over-sized bath towel. I stood to meet him as he wrapped the towel around me. Then he lifted me gently from the tub and carried me to our bed where I gave myself to him.

  ****

  In the morning, I woke later than normal. The sun was up, but my new husband was not beside me. I remembered stirring several hours before, when he had risen to milk the cows.

  I rolled over and reached for my absent husband, longing to be near him. As I did, I remembered a line in the scripture I had read in Elijah’s Bible the night before.

  I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not.

  Elijah’s pillow didn’t comfort me any, but I cradled it nonetheless. I held up my hand and admired the ring that Elijah had placed on my finger as evidence that I was his. The wearing of wedding rings was forbidden in the Amish community, but my husband had given in to my desire to have them and I loved him even more for it.

  I fluffed Elijah’s pillow under me and thought how good it felt to finally be a wife. I felt so different—grown up—in a way that I wasn’t sure I fully understood yet. I no longer felt as an innocent child, for I had been transformed to a woman through a Godly union with my husband. Without a moment’s thought, I determined that it had definitely been well worth the wait.

  The following is a sneak peek of the continuing story of Jane and Elijah in Book Two…

  LITTLE WILD FLOWER

  Book Two

  ONE

  AS TIME GOES BY

  The first few weeks of marriage were filled with fun and adjus
tments. Even though I had been a big help at home for my mother with cooking and the taking care of Sammy, I hadn’t had to do any of it full time for a few years. After previously being the total caregiver when my mother had been so sick from the alcohol she couldn’t care for my younger siblings, I sometimes found it to be habit to want to take over. But before I moved away from home, I had settled into a good routine with her. We had begun to work well together.

  Nadine, for the most part, had handled all the laundry at home until she married Benjamin. My mother took over that chore once Nadine moved out, and I had merely assisted her up until then. Though she’d been well enough to handle the daily routine on her own for some time, it was still difficult for me to let go and accept that my mother had healed from the scars of the past. Truth be told, though I loved my new role as a wife to Elijah, it was hard for me to break free from the role as caregiver to my mother, even if I was just down the lane from her, I felt the separation from her stronger than I ever thought I would. I’d begun to depend on her as a mother and a friend—a friend I would now need as I grew apart from her to settle into my own new routine as the wife of an Amish farmer.

  Now, it seemed, while Elijah tended to our new herd of cattle, I was very busy cooking and cleaning. Doing the laundry and chores at my own house; including feeding the chickens and gathering eggs, proved to be full time work for me. I never imagined just how rewarding it could feel to accomplish these things until it was for the sake of my own home and my own husband.

  Just when I began to get myself into a routine; my body, it would seem, decided to rebel. I began to get sick every morning, throwing my schedule into a whirlwind. One crisp morning at the end of November, Mitchell and Benjamin showed up at the house to assist Elijah with adding more fencing around our property to accommodate the increasing herd. Nadine and Rebekah tagged along, with little Bethany in tow, hoping we could share the afternoon meal together once the men’s work was done.

  Nadine had brought some sausage to cook potato soup, and the very sight of the raw meat was making me feel nauseated. The smells of food cooking in the kitchen had recently become too much for me to handle. My husband had eaten oatmeal and cornmeal for the last several mornings so I could cut down on cooking smells. I hadn’t planned on having my queasy stomach interrupt any more of my time, but it seemed very determined to hang around a little longer. I had hoped it would pass before Rebekah brought the baby over because I feared passing the flu to her.

  “You look a little green around the gills, Jane,” Nadine joked.

  She placed the sausage in the hot skillet, sending a sizzling burst of smell straight to my nostrils.

  “I think I may have the flu or something. I’ve been awful sick for the last four days, except I don’t have a fever, and I haven’t thrown up yet,” I said.

  I held a hand over my nose to keep from inhaling too much of the aroma from the sizzling sausage.

  “Are you sick all day, or just in the morning?” Rebekah asked.

  “Mostly in the morning. How did you know that?”

  I sat in one of the kitchen chairs, hoping to keep from toppling over from the wave of nausea that was trying very hard to overcome me.

  She hesitated, watching as I fought the urge to run from the room to empty my stomach.

  “You might be pregnant.”

  “Come to think of it, I haven’t had my cycle since two weeks before the wedding.”

  The reality of what she said had time enough to sink in.

  “I’ll bet it happened on your wedding night, then. How romantic that is,” Rebekah said.

  “Do you think I could be pregnant, really?”

  I felt excitement and fear at the same time.

  “Maybe we should get mamma to take you into town to see Doctor Beiler,” Nadine suggested.

  “Should I say something to Elijah about it?”

  “You can if you want to, but maybe you ought to wait until you see the doctor. It’s always best if you see the doctor for your first pregnancy, especially since you don’t know for sure,” Rebekah said.

  Bethany began to fuss, so Rebekah went to change her.

  “Gosh, Jane. I’m gonna be jealous if you have a baby before me,” Nadine said.

  “I’m not so sure there’s anything to be jealous about. This whole thing is making me nervous.”

  “You're right, Jane. We should wait until you hear it from Doc Beiler anyway.”

  ****

  Two days later, my mother drove me into town to see the doctor. He confirmed that I was indeed six weeks pregnant after doing a thorough exam.

  Thoroughly embarrassing was more like it.

  I was excited but scared, but I also couldn’t wait to share the news with my husband.

  After our stop at the doctor’s office, my mother and I did a little shopping for yard goods for making baby clothes and maternity dresses. I knew I had my work cut out for me, but I also knew that I could count on my sister and Hannah to help.

  That evening after dinner, Elijah and I sat by the fire discussing our plans for our first Christmas together as husband and wife.

  “I thought you might like to have the family get-together at our house, since it will be our first Christmas in our new home. I’m sure both our sisters and our mothers would be very helpful to you if you wanted the help,” he offered.

  “It sounds like a wonderful idea,” I said with excitement at the idea of entertaining in my new house.

  The non-stop smile on my face was due more to the news that I had for my husband, and I was afraid I was going to give it away before I could tell him.

  “What are you so happy about?” he asked me.

  “We are having a baby,” I blurted out.

  He flashed me a look of uncertainty.

  Not the reaction I’d hoped for.

  “I went to see the doctor today,” I tried again. “He said I am pregnant,”

  Elijah jumped up from the floor and let out a whoop. I stood up and laughed at his excitement. Before I could gain my composure, he picked me up and swung me around the room. Tears filled his eyes and we both laughed and cried for several minutes.

  “I love you so much,” he declared.

  That’s more like it.

  “I love you too. But would you put me down—I’m getting a little queasy,” I begged good-naturedly.

  He set me down and we sat by the fire holding each other until we fell asleep.

  ****

  The Christmas season swept in around the town-folk like a magical force; causing winter merriment to spread like the snowflakes that collected on the roof-tops and tree branches. The snow; thankfully, was not too deep yet to keep our family from celebrating together as we always had. Elijah and I decided we would wait to tell the rest of the family the news of my pregnancy until our family dinner together at our house.

  I prepared dinner with a nervous excitement, wondering about the reactions of my in-laws to our news. I wanted more than anything to see a look of acceptance on the face of Elijah’s mam. Not even since the wedding had I felt she truly accepted me as the right one for her first-born son. She’d always been pleasant, and I knew she loved me in some sort of sense, but I strongly needed her approval for my own peace of mind. Elijah and I had had many a discussion over his mother’s guarded nature where I was concerned. I was, however, very grateful that, even if she didn’t fully accept me, she never interfered.

  As the announcement was made over dinner, Elijah’s voice was steady, unlike my own would have been. I was proud to be by his side, my hand clenching his for support and reassurance.

  The reaction was almost overwhelming. Everyone was happy for us and cheered loudly. I looked over at Naomi, wondering what she was thinking. As we made eye contact, her eyes were brimming with tears that threatened to spill from her smiling eyes.

  God, please let those be happy tears falling from my new mam’s eyes.

  Before I could think another thought, David stood up and began to clear his
throat to get everyone’s attention.

  “If it’s announcements we’re making, Hannah and I are expecting our first child too,” he said proudly.

  Everyone cheered until Mitchell stood up.

  “Now that’s not fair. Rebekah and I didn’t get this much attention when we announced her pregnancy at Thanksgiving. Just because this is our second baby, doesn’t mean you can’t all cheer for us too. C’mon now, I’m waiting,” he joked.

  The entire crowd of family and friends roared with laughter and cheers to the point of embarrassment for poor Rebekah. I guess she hadn’t realized until that moment what a ham my brother could be. I did wonder, though, how Rebekah would handle being pregnant again so soon after having Bethany. After all, Bethany would only be eleven months old when the new one came along.