Finding the Rhythm

by Leigh Louden

  My mouth opened to answer, but the words wouldn't form. I wanted to tell him what I was thinking. I wanted to be honest.

  Vinny stepped close, and my feet still wouldn't move.

  "Say it then, Allison."

  I shook my head. I couldn’t. It wasn’t what I wanted.

  Vinny stepped closer still.

  "I... can’t. I know I should. I know it's messing up the band, and if you want to tell Smith to replace me, I totally get it," I babbled, my head falling forward, my eyes finding the floor in shame.

  Vinny's finger covered my lips to quiet me and swept under my chin to lift my head back up. "I don't think E and Smith would ever forgive me if I let you go. Besides, I happen to think you really are something special."

  His mouth descended back onto mine, and he pulled me hard against him again. His tongue ran across my lips, demanding entry to my mouth. His hands felt warm spread out over my arse and kept me against his unmistakeably hard cock in his jeans.

  My senses were on overload. Vinny thought I was something special. With everything that was happening with me and Devon, with the complete mess that this would make with the band, Vinny wanted me knowing all that. And, Lord help me, I wanted him too.

  Hungrily, I returned his kiss. I needed more. There was something liberating in the fact that Vinny knew everything and was so accepting. My hands found their way back to tangle in his hair, and my tongue danced with his, my hips moving against him.

  Vinny’s mouth broke free of mine. "Fuck, Allycat. You're driving me crazy. But before we take this any further, I have to know. Are you really sure this is what you want?" He studied my face and I didn't want to deny it anymore.

  I looked directly at him so he wouldn't doubt the sincerity of my words. "I want you."

  A sexy little smirk snaked across his lips. "Absolutely sure?"

  "Yes."

  His grin said everything. Like all his Christmases and birthdays had come at once.

  I blushed. I was overwhelmed by the fact that someone would be so interested in me. It also made my heart and stomach flutter.

  "I don't want to be the reason your band breaks up though," I told him, trying to stay rational.

  "Our band will be just fine. You with us will be just fine," Vinny insisted. He took me by the hand and placed a kiss on my forehead. "As much as I want to take this further right now, I want you so much my cock aches, but I want to talk to Smith and Ethan first, and I want you to think about it all properly. Date me. I want you." Vinny moved his lips back against mine for a soft and seductive kiss. I felt cherished as well as desirable. "Now get the hell out of here before I can't resist the urge to taste every inch of you."

  With my pussy soaked, my lips tingling, and my feet floating six inches off the floor, I left Vinny's room and headed to my own.

  I had just given myself the biggest case of blue balls I'd had since I was a teenager with a monstrous crush on my older sister's best mate.

  I shook my head to try and clear the lust-fuelled fog that had taken over. I needed to talk to my bandmates and sort out the fact that I needed to date Allison.

  I flopped down on the bed and roughly palmed my cock through the jeans holding it prisoner. Get a grip, Richards!

  I groaned and rolled over to grab my phone from the bedside table.

  Need to talk to you mate. Bar in 10.

  I added Ethan and Smith to the recipients list and hit send.

  I was a few minutes late to the bar; even a cold shower didn't really help to calm me down. Smith and Ethan were sitting at a table away from everyone else. I guess they had a fair idea about why I wanted to see them, even if I didn't tell them why.

  "Hey, Vinny," Smith greeted, and Ethan nodded in my direction as I approached.

  "Alright, lads?" I said, pausing at the table. "Pints alright with everyone?" I asked, and with the approval of my friends, I headed to the bar.

  "So, what's this all about?" Ethan asked when I handed out the pints and set my ass down on the last seat at the table.

  "It's about Allison," I started.

  Smith looked at me critically. "Are we going to like this?"

  I shrugged. "Let's talk about it and find out, shall we?"

  Ethan studied me intently with a suspicious look.

  "Okay, so, she came to my room, and she was going to tell me that she was concerned about the band and that she wanted to cool it between her and I, because things have been a little horny of late, and... well she couldn’t, and I couldn’t let her."

  Ethan's mouth fell open and Smith just grinned.

  "I fucking knew it!" Smith laughed. "I knew you liked her, and I knew you wouldn't be able to resist!"

  Ethan was more serious. "Do you like her? Is that what it is?"

  "Relax, bruv," Smith said, slapping his hand down on Ethan's shoulder. "For the first time in his life, Vincent Richards has found himself a pussy that meant more to him that just a slot to fill."

  Ethan rolled his eyes and looked at me to confirm what Smith had said.

  "As much as it pains me to say these words, Smith’s right," I reassured Ethan. "I really do like her.”

  Ethan took a swig of his pint, shocked.

  Smith smirked. “I’m proud of you, Vin. You actually have it in you to be a grown up and have real feelings for someone.”

  I winced. I knew what he was saying was right. For the first time in my life, I cared about someone that wasn’t me or my bandmates. I cared about a woman in a way I had never had before.

  I had to admit, this was going to be interesting.

  I lay in the bubbles and let the warm water soothe me. I tried not to think about what Vinny had said. I didn't know if it was such a smart idea to be with him. I wanted to, but, God, was that something I could realistically do? There were so many what ifs that were driving me crazy.

  What if it drove a wedge between the guys?

  What if it finished the band? Jesus, I would end up a pariah!

  What if it worked? Is that a 'for forever' relationship?

  What will the press say?

  Hell, what will Don say?

  I closed my eyes with a sigh and tried to fight the spin cycle of possible scenarios going around in my head. It was all just too much. I sank lower into the bubbles.

  Dried and dressed, I decided food might be a good idea. A girl can't make sensible decisions on an empty stomach, right? I headed down into the lobby and out onto Broad Street. It was the reason we stayed in that hotel; there was so much choice right on the doorstep. Feeling lazy, I headed straight for Coast to Coast just across the street.

  As soon as I walked in and glanced around the inner lower section of the restaurant, I regretted my choice. Sitting around a table were Vinny, Smith, and Ethan. In the split-second it took me to decide to turn around and leave, Vinny saw me.

  I stood, frozen, as he got up from the table and strode towards me with purpose. "Allycat," he greeted, pulling me hard against him in a hug.

  "Hey, Vinny," I managed to squeak out.

  "How did you know we were here?" he asked, loosening his grip.

  "I didn't. I just went for the closest place."

  Vinny grinned. "Then it's fate." He took my hand and pulled me towards my bandmates' table.

  "Look who's joining us!" Vinny announced. He pulled out a chair in the corner beside him for me to sit on.

  "Ally." Smith grinned, and Ethan smiled brightly in my direction. I felt my worries melt away in an instant. The looks on the faces of Vinny, Ethan, and Smith made me feel relaxed, safe and cherished.

  "Have you ordered?" I asked, trying to take my mind off the idea I kept feeling drawn to... Fuck it. Just enjoy it all!

  Ethan handed his menu to me. "Not yet. Have a look on there and decide what you want."

  It was funny how loaded that statement felt. I toyed with the idea of telling them what I really wanted wasn't actually on the menu. What I really wanted was Vinny. But my nerves got the better of me, and I buried my face in
the menu.

  The food came, the alcohol flowed, and I relaxed into the company around me. The guys told tales of funny moments that had happened on previous tours. They talked about Jason and how they had all met each other. They filled me in on almost all their history together. The good times. And then it was my turn.

  "How did someone as hot as you ever end up with a slime ball like Devon Montgomery?" Vinny asked.

  Ethan glared at him, and Smith scolded him.

  "No, It's okay!" I smiled. I felt comfortable and relaxed enough to tell them everything. Just like they had with me. "I met him when I was seventeen. He was in a band that played in a club I sneaked into a lot with my fake ID. He was twenty-eight when I met him. A real rock star, and I had the biggest crush on him. I couldn't believe it when he pulled me out of the crowd that night."

  "I didn't know that about Devon," Ethan stated.

  "Know what?" Smith asked.

  "That the creepy bastard has always been toying with women way too fucking young for him."

  "Not to mention too fucking good for him," Vinny added, watching me intently.

  "If only I'd known that at the time. " I sighed. "Mind you, without all that crap, I wouldn't be sitting here with any of you. So, I guess that's something to be grateful for, even if he is a massive prick."

  Smith grinned at me and lifted his drink in a toast. "Amen to that!"

  "To weird shit and awesome outcomes," Vinny added.

  "To Ally," Ethan chimed in.

  Warmth radiated through my body. I was wanted. I was cherished. I belonged. "To Dragon Zion," I added, glancing at each one of them in turn.

  "To Dragon Zion!" They all joined in, clinking their glasses with mine, all eyes on me as we took a drink.

  I watched her relax with us and listened to her as she discussed everything that happened with her and the prick Devon. I took in the contented expression on her face and the genuine warmth she had towards me, Ethan, and Smith. There was no doubt in my mind that she was our girl, both the perfect fit for the band, and the perfect fit for me. She might be worrying about it and what it might or might not do with the band. But without a doubt, Allison Watts belonged with us, she belonged with me, and I wanted to make sure she knew just how much she was wanted, by me, and by Smith and Ethan.

  Every time I looked at Ally, I felt it in more than just my cock. I needed to know that she was okay with being with me. Hell, I needed to convince her if she wasn’t. I’d never needed a woman in my entire life. I wasn’t a complete wanker about it; I just never wanted to settle down, or to be with a woman more than a handful of times. I’d never been in love and I’d never made a woman any promises for anything beyond a good fucking. Her pleasure was my only focus. But I already knew things could never be like that with Ally. She was worth so much more, and more was what I wanted to give her.

  Smith looked in my direction and gave me the faintest of nods. He knew what I was thinking. I could see the warmth in his own expression when he looked at our drummer, and I knew he felt it too. The nod though, that was the boss’s permission to do exactly what I was thinking.

  Ethan glanced at me too. A small nod came from his direction and I knew that he was also giving his permission for what was to come. Both my bandmates understood that I wanted to be with our drummer, and instead of talking me out of it, they took one look at me and agreed I had their blessing. I didn’t know what to do with myself next.

  This was new territory to me.

  The night rolled on, with more drinks, more food, and more good company.

  Ally yawned. Smith smiled and suggested I walk her back to the hotel.

  “As long as you’re sure?” Ally said.

  Smith nodded. “I’m sure. Don't worry about it; Ethan and I will pay the bill.”

  Ally smiled and nodded. “Thank you all for a lovely evening. It has been wonderful. I really appreciate this. It was just what I needed.”

  We said our goodbyes, rose from the table, and headed back out on to Broad Street. Ally hooked her arm around mine as we walked the short distance back to the hotel.

  “I've really enjoyed tonight,” Ally said warmly.

  "Me too. It's been nice to hear about your background. I'm sorry you had to deal with all of Devon's crap though."

  She squeezed my arm a little tighter at the mention of her ex's name. "Don't worry about it, Vinny. Like I said this evening, I wouldn't change it because it brought me here."

  I smiled down at her and put my arm around her, pulling her in tight against me. She felt so good moulded against me like she was made to fit perfectly with me. When she looked up at me, the expression on her face suggested she felt just the same.

  Neither of us could find any words to express the moment that was happening between us, and instead, we walked through the lobby and into the lift in silence. In the small confines of the elevator car, the air began to feel charged, and I felt the same pull to her I had felt since the moment I met her.

  I placed my hand at the small of her back and guided her along the corridor to her hotel room door. Suddenly, I felt out of my depth. Normally, I was cocky, and I could do this, but Ally was different. Normally, I would have been able to get in her knickers in a heartbeat; but this wasn't just about getting in her knickers. This was about me expressing my feelings for someone, and I'd never done that before.

  We paused outside her door, and she turned to face me, looking up at me expectantly. Every single signal she sent me told me just how much she wanted me. Just how much she needed this to happen, and just how much she was mine for the taking. And I acted like a complete pussy. My lips met hers softly and briefly. I told her goodnight, and I turned and walked away, leaving us both unsatisfied.

  I didn’t dare turn around. I didn’t think I could bear the look on her face. Instead, I hid out in my room and made sure nobody knew about my failure.

  And just like that, he left. I was so dumbstruck, I stood there for a moment, watching him as he disappeared back down the corridor, wondering what the hell just happened. Didn't he want me? Didn't I make it clear enough that I wanted him? Whatever it was, something had gone wrong, and this wasn't the ending to the evening I had expected.

  I opened the door to my room, walked inside, and threw myself down onto the bed. My mind ran over the circumstances of the evening. Had I missed something? Had I done something wrong? Or was it just plain and simple; Vinny didn't want me?

  Rather than dwelling on it too much, I decided to take a shower and wash my blues away. The only problem was, while standing under the warm water, my troubles weren't washed away, they were merely amplified. All I could think about was Vinny's hands on my skin, Vinny's lips on mine, and that did nothing to make me feel any less of a failure. For a split-second, my mind went to the place I didn't want it to, and I thought about the comments Devon had made about me and my body. The comments that made me feel like nothing. The comments that told me that nobody would ever want me. Feeling forlorn, I left the shower, put on my favourite comfy pyjamas, and climbed into bed.

  Sleep was not my friend. I just couldn't settle myself to get there. By the time three a.m. came around, I couldn't take it anymore, and I had to get up. It wasn't long before I found myself heading down the corridor to Vinny's room.

  What the hell are you doing? The only thing I could think of was getting him to realise I had wanted him. I paced up and down outside his hotel room door. I tried to talk myself out of it. I tried to tell myself I could talk to him about it tomorrow, but something just wouldn't let me leave it alone.

  I knocked on his door and waited. I heard him mumbling inside, and the door opened to reveal him rubbing his bleary eyes, in just a pair of boxers. "What?" he asked sleepily.

  "Shit, sorry. Did I wake you?" I asked, feeling stupid, knowing the answer already.

  "Allycat?" he asked softly when he realised it was me banging on the door at such a ridiculous time of night. "Are you okay?"

  "Can I come in?" I enquired, my voice su
bdued.

  Vinny moved out of the way of the doorway to allow me to enter. I jumped a little when the door closed behind me, my nerves kicking into overdrive. "I have something I need to say," I told him. He slumped back on the bed, regarding me with curiosity. "I couldn't sleep. I needed to... I mean... I..." I stuttered and started to pace again.

  Vinny watched me struggling to express myself, and when I paced past him for the fourth time, he grabbed my arms and stopped me in my tracks.

  "Whatever it is, you can tell me," he said reassuringly. I bit my lip and nodded.

  You're a big girl, Allison. You can do this.

  "I need you to tell me to be sensible, because I know I'm not. It's just that, I have these feelings..." I began. Vinny's eyes widened, and I worried this was going to ruin everything, but I just couldn't make my mouth stop. "I like you. And you and I kissed, and I wanted more, and I thought that you did too, until tonight when you just left, and I needed to come here and say it. I needed to tell you that I like you, and I want more. But I know it's crazy and I know you need to tell me now that I'm being silly. You need to tell me to stop." My brain ran away with me, and the words just kept pouring from me. I was having the worst case of verbal diarrhea possible.

  I looked at Vinny, willing him to say something, willing him to tell me I was crazy. Instead, he stood, towering above me, looking down at me intently. I couldn't move, and I gasped when I realised what he was doing. His lips crushed against mine, and he held me hard against him. Lust overwhelmed me, and all I wanted was more.

  I'd never been a man to look a gift horse in the mouth. Allison was in my room at three in the morning, and she was confessing to wanting me. To liking me; really liking me. She was being kept awake thinking about it. Hell, she actually thought I didn't want her; that I needed to fix. Not another second could pass with her thinking I didn't want her. I did the only thing I could think of to really let her know what I was thinking.