“What are you thinking?” Luna asked.
Kirith had finished his second glass of wine, and hadn’t quite registered how long he’d been staring at the Wolf shifter. He’d gone quiet, pensive. But for once in his life he was content.
“I’m thinking that you’re different,” he replied, pushing himself away from the table and crossing his arms over his chest. “You’re not afraid of me. All my life, people have feared me. But not you.”
“I was never afraid of you, not really,” Luna said. “I…I used to watch you, you know. In the woods, near your cottage. I had quite a crush on you.”
Kirith raised an inquisitive eyebrow. The revelation wasn’t altogether surprising. He recalled evenings when a pair of bright Wolf’s eyes had flashed in the dark of the woods. In those days he’d assumed it was simply a shifter out for a hunt, someone stumbling upon his cottage. It hadn’t occurred to him that it might be the same Wolf returning for multiple visits.
It was flattering to know that she’d admired him.
Of course, he’d been married then. He’d been a different man in a different life.
“Now why would you do that?” he asked. Perhaps he was looking for a compliment. Or maybe he was just searching for a moment of normalcy.
“Because I thought you incredibly handsome,” she said, her cheeks flushing. Her freckled, ivory skin had a way of turning entirely crimson, as though her blood flow had suddenly gone into overdrive. “I always thought you were what a man should be.”
Kirith rose to his feet and walked over to the counter, turning to face her and pressing his hands into the counter “And what do you say now?” he asked. “Have you realized your error in judgment?”
He watched as she pushed her chair back and walked slowly towards him. Her hands landed on his waist, and she pressed herself close, her eyes looking up into his, reminding him how small she was. “No error,” she said. “I was right back then. The only error I made was to ever think ill of you.”
His breath was coming in shallow waves as her hands moved up towards his chest, exploring his taut abdomen. She pushed her torso towards his and held him for a moment, a gesture of pure affection as their breathing patterns melded, their hearts beating in unison.
“Luna,” he whispered. His hands were holding onto the edge of the counter so hard that he thought he might tear it from its base.
“You are still the most handsome man I’ve ever seen. The sexiest man,” she said.
“I’m a wreck,” he protested quietly. “I’m not what I was then.”
“You still have a heart. You still have this body,” she whispered, reaching for the front of his jeans. She slid a hand over his fly, pressing gently into the hard-on that had once again begun to throb for her.
She was right, of course. He still had a man’s body, and it ached for a woman’s touch, just as it always had. Some things never died, no matter how much he wished they would.
Letting go of the counter, he took her face in his hands and pulled himself so close that their lips all but met. But then he froze, hunger eating away at him as he denied himself his meal.
“Kiss me,” she said.
He wanted to. So badly. Wanted to taste the honey sweetness of her, to meet her tongue with his. He wanted that intimacy, that moment of free fall. The first moment, the one that only ever happened once, then never again.
Kisses were so good. They were wonderful. The most perfect experience known to man or woman.
But he couldn’t do it.
If he kissed her, if he pulled her into his mind and heart, he would never be able to walk away from her. Never be able to fulfill his destiny.
Still, there were ways to satisfy a craving without giving in entirely. He’d managed it last night, and he could do it again.
He pulled her head to the side, forcefully but gently, and lay his lips on her neck, his tongue tasting the salt on her flesh . His hands reached for the bottom of her dress and pulled upwards.
A lacy thong greeted his touch. He yanked the stretchy fabric away with his thumb and slipped his middle finger over her sex.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” he moaned, kissing his way down her cleavage as he fell to his knees. He raked fingernails over her bare shoulders, trailing red marks behind as he nipped at her breasts through the thin dress.
Silently he eased her panties down to the floor and pushed her thighs apart, hiking her dress up over her hips. His lips met the delicately trimmed line of red hair that led down to her sex, then he slipped his tongue over her bud, drawing a soft yelp from her.
“I want you inside me,” she said again. She was testing him, surely. She’d said it last night and he’d kicked her out. Surely she knew he might do it again.
But this time, he rose to his full height and stared into her eyes as he undid his jeans, pulling them to the floor and stepping out of them. He spun her around so that she faced the cupboards, and lifted her so that she bent over, grabbing onto the faucet with one hand, the edge of the counter with the other.
He fisted his engorged cock, pressing its tip in between her lips.
“This is what you want?” he snarled, a feral desire working its way through him like wildfire.
“Yes,” she gasped, pulling her head to the side so he could see her profile. “I want you.”
With one thrust he entered her, drawing a long cry from her lips. He pushed her dress up and hooked his hands around her hips, driving himself hard into her.
He’d feared intimacy, but this wasn’t intimate. This was hard, and desperate, and feral. This wasn’t love-making; it was fucking. He was taking her for his own, but only for one night. Only so that they could walk away from each other knowing that their needs had been met.
He slowed his pace, wrapping his arm around her to slip his thumb over her clit as he rocked his hips back and forth. He watched as her body milked his thick cock, her cries increasing in intensity as he drew pleasure from her.
“I want you to come, little Wolf,” he snarled, pressing his thumb into her bud. “Come for me, and I’ll return the favour.”
“I’m close,” she moaned, and he focused on her ecstasy, slipping the head of his cock in and out as he massaged her swollen bud. “Fuck, I’m going to…”
When he felt the first pulse of her orgasm, he drove himself deep inside her and let her body take possession of his. With each pulse of her channel, he came closer to exploding. But he wouldn’t allow himself that bliss. It would be too intimate to come inside her. It would bond them. So he waited until she’d settled before drawing his length out and grasping it hard in his fist.
“I want to watch,” she said, spinning herself around and lifting her dress over her head to drop it to the ground.
Kirith stared at those beautiful breasts of hers as he stroked his cock. Watched her slip her fingers up to her nipples and pinch them gently, hardening them to perfect rosy peaks for him. The bandage that he’d adhered to her side was still there, a reminder of the previous night. But she seemed indifferent to the wound, focused only on staring at him as he stroked his shaft.
She eased her shoulders down, leaning as far back as she could. Kirith stepped forward and pumped his cock, seeing exactly what she was offering.
When he exploded, his seed landed in hot streams on her belly and breasts. He slammed his eyes shut, avoiding the sight of it. It was too good. She was too beautiful, lying back like that, giving her body to him for his own selfish purposes.
He felt himself shutting down and backed away, cursing himself for what had just happened between them.
A real man would have come inside her. He would have held her, told her he cared.
A real man wouldn’t move away, wincing in emotional agony as soon as the act was done.
“I’ll clean you up,” he said hoarsely, his eyes still failing to meet hers even after he’d opened them.
She reached over and turned on the tap. “It’s okay,” she said. “I can do it.”
; He could hear the hurt in her voice. His coldness had wounded her. He knew that she wanted more from him. But he couldn’t give it. There was nothing inside him to give, and he wanted so badly to say so.
I’m not whole, Luna. I am less than a man.
“I’m sorry,” he said, turning away.
“Sorry for what?”
“For what I am.”
And for what I’m not.
Chapter 17
Kirith made his way to the bedroom and pulled on a pair of pajama bottoms that was lying on the floor. He sat down on the bed’s edge, a strange, deep pain settling into his chest.
Luna appeared in the doorway a few seconds later. She was still naked, yet he’d never so much as taken his shirt off.
He was so afraid to be close to her that he’d left a literal physical barrier between them.
“I know you said you’re sorry, but I’m not,” she told him, slipping into the room.
“There’s a robe on the back of the door,” Kirith grunted, gesturing towards the hook with his left hand as he avoided looking at her. But he watched when she’d turned around, his eyes locked on her lean form as she slipped the terrycloth garment over herself.
Fuck, she was beautiful.
Too beautiful to be with a beast.
When Luna had tied the belt at her waist, she strode over and sat down next to him. Silently, she put her arms around his waist and pressed her head into his muscular shoulder, holding him for a moment. But he didn’t reach for her, didn’t so much as touch her hand. He simply tightened under her touch, a giant marble statue unwilling to soften.
“Kirith,” she said, her voice vibrating through his arm. That sweet voice of hers just begged him to open his heart, didn’t it?
“What?”
“Tell me what happened to you that night.”
He wanted to. It was so damned hard to resist her. Hard to keep from pressing a hand to her cheek, kiss her forehead, ask her to keep holding him.
Hard to say no to his She-Wolf.
But say no he must, if only to protect her. She didn’t know what she was really asking of him.
“I don’t think you want to know,” he said, pulling himself to his feet. He turned to look down at her. “Listen, you should sleep in here tonight. I’ll take the guest room.”
“No,” she said. “I don’t want you going anywhere until you tell me why you…” She cut herself off. Apparently she had as much trouble uttering the words as he did. “…why you burned your house to the ground that night.”
Kirith winced as the sentence stabbed at his gut. You burned your house to the ground. As if his house really mattered.
“Little Wolf,” he said softly. “You have no idea how ugly the truth really is, and I’m not sure I want to share it with you.”
“I was there. I saw it,” she said. “I watched everything happen. I know it was ugly. I could smell bodies burning, Kirith.”
The Dragon shifter shook his head. “No, you have no idea. If you think I simply torched my own house, then you really don’t understand,” he gritted through locked jaws, sitting down hard on the edge of the bed, his back muscles taut as he turned himself away from her. “If you’re asking me this question, it’s because you don’t know. You’re asking me to open up a wound in your own heart that may never heal, just as mine won’t.”
He felt her shuffling on the bed. No doubt she was moving closer to him. He could feel her hand in the air behind him, reaching for his back. But it seemed that she knew better than to touch just now. She probably knew that his Dragon was growing angry inside him.
Bad idea to poke a Dragon in such a state.
“If I don’t know, then you should tell me,” she said. “I want to know the truth.”
“You don’t want to know,” he growled. “You only think you do.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes, it is!” he shouted, twisting his torso around so that he showed her his profile. Perhaps if she saw the pain in his face, she’d know better than to push him.
But she persisted. “You don’t understand, Kirith,” she said, her voice strained with sorrow. “I want to know everything about you. I want to understand you better.”
“Luna, it’s you who doesn’t understand. You say you want to know why I hate your Alpha. As much as you think you’re ready for it, you don’t want to know what that man truly is.”
“I don’t?” she asked. “That’s where you’re wrong. If Ripper did something awful, you should tell me. I’m in his Pack. So is my brother. God knows I want out, but it would help if you explained to me what I’m up against.”
The Dragon shifter shook his head, pressing his fists to his temples. The pretty little Wolf was so young. Oh, she didn’t think she was, of course; she thought herself a fully-fledged adult. But she hadn’t lived centuries as he had. Hadn’t seen the horrors he’d witnessed, the deaths, the torment.
Of course none of it had caused him suffering like what he’d endured that night. No, she had no idea what it felt like to suffer at the hands of another, and he didn’t want to be the one to let her in on the horror of it. “I’ve spent years hating myself,” he said. “I don’t want you to be filled with the same self-loathing.”
“Self-loathing? Why would I loathe myself? I haven’t done anything wrong.”
He stood up and turned to face her, his expression softening. “No, I suppose you haven’t. You were too young when it all happened,” he replied. “Too young to know what your Alpha was up to.”
“What do you mean, what my Alpha was up to?” she asked. He could see that she was trembling now. Frightened. Not of him, but of what he might say. Frightened that the last of her innocence would be lost. He should know; he was frightened of the same thing. He didn’t want to break her. She was too good, too kind. As much as she might think that life had been cruel to her, she didn’t know the half of it.
“Did you know of other Wolves near where you used to live?”
“In Warkshire…” she began, stopping herself before she’d uttered the forest’s full name.
“Warkshire Forest. It’s all right; you can say the name of the woods; it won’t break me. It’s not possible to break something that’s already been shattered. As for other Packs, were there any nearby that you knew of?”
“Yes,” she said. “There were a few Packs about. Silver—that’s my brother—and I used to hang about with them sometimes. There was one in particular—the Darby Pack—that Ripper didn’t like, though. He put a stop to our play when we got older. I’ve never been sure why he had a problem with them.”
“He didn’t,” said Kirith.
“What do you mean?”
“Your Alpha wanted to use them for his own means, and he knew that if you found out about his plans, you would leave, or worse.”
“Use them? What for?”
“To kill.”
“What are you even talking about?” Luna asked. “Are you saying that Ripper had your family killed?”
“Mine, and others,” Kirith replied, knowing that he’d already stepped across the threshold. “But yes, that’s what I’m saying.” It was the first time he’d ever uttered the words. The first time the truth had emerged from him, and it felt like a release.
For such a long time he’d shut himself away, holding in the pain of it. Struggling to keep it together. “You were right to think that my family was inside my house when I burned it to the ground, Luna,” he said. “But they were already dead.”
Chapter 18
Luna pulled herself up off the bed and slipped in front of Kirith’s massive body. Slowly, hesitantly, she leaned forward and put her hands on his face, pressing her forehead to his.
“I’m so sorry,” she said. It was no wonder he hated Wolves. No wonder he’d hated her. The only surprise to come of any of this was that he’d ever so much as spoken a single kind word to her. She pulled back and looked into his eyes. “I didn’t know any of this. I wish I had, but I didn’t.”
>
“Those were my woods,” said Kirith, locking her in his green-eyed gaze. “I knew every bird, every ant in that forest. He took my family from me. He even took my home. I could never go back there, after…”
“Of course not.”
Kirith pulled back, rubbing his eyes with his palms. “You must have thought, all this time, that I was a monster,” he said. “All these years, you must have thought the Dragon from those woods had killed the few people he was supposed to love.” He let out a deep, cynical laugh and looked away. “It’s no wonder you looked so horrified in the pub when you and I met. I could smell the fear on you. You know, some part of me even revelled in it. Perhaps I am a monster after all.”
Luna shook her head, dropping to her knees in front of him. “No, Kirith. I think I knew, even then, that you couldn’t be so cruel. I knew it all along. It never made sense to me. You were too kind. Too good. You loved your family. So I never understood it. Never could grasp what I saw. I didn’t tell anyone about it, because I didn’t want…” She swallowed hard. “Didn’t want to think of you that way.”
“I’m not kind or good,” he growled. “I’m not a fucking hero out of some fairy tale. I failed my family by not taking Ripper’s threats seriously. Don’t you see? I was supposed to look after them, and my arrogance got them killed.”
“That’s not true,” Luna said, pushing down the sob that was trying to force its way into her chest. “It’s all Ripper’s fault. You couldn’t have known he’d do something like that. He’s insane. He’s a fucking psychopath.”
“Well, that fucking psychopath is still your Alpha,” he replied, turning to her, his eyes bright with his Dragon’s presence. “Let there be no mistake. You are currently fraternizing with an enemy of your Pack.”
“I don’t care. I’d rather be with you than with anyone, especially now. I’ve never bonded with my Pack. Never felt close to any of them, except my brother.”
A terrifying, earth-shaking growl worked its way through Kirith’s body, like a sonic boom about to shatter the whole universe. “You listen to me,” he snarled, his Dragon’s voice somehow vibrating its way up his vocal cords. “I am your enemy. I’m not your protector, however much you might want me to be. I’m here for one purpose only, and that is to take down your Alpha.”
Dragon's Bane (Dragon Guild Chronicles Book 5) Page 10