My Husband's Whore

by Racquel Williams

  “Fuck you Corey. You fucked up my life. I fucking hate you, you hear me? You better stay away from me and my son.”

  “Whatever Imani; go look at your face and see what the nigga that you loving did to you.” He tucked the gun back into his waist and walked out the door.

  I locked the door and broke down. Everything happened so fast, I didn't have time to digest it all in. I walked to the bathroom to get some pain medicine. My rib cage was still hurting, so I took two Aleve to help relieve the pain. I cut the light on, so I could take a look at my face in the mirror. Let's just say, I didn't recognize the person staring back at me. My face was swollen and red; it seemed like a truck just ran over it. I went to the fridge to grab me some ice, so I could at least try to get the swelling down. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing and I was also worried about my Josiah seeing me like this. If he did, he was going to ask me who did this to me.

  Speaking of Josiah, an hour later, I heard his keys opening the door.

  “Hey baby,” I barely uttered, because my mouth was hurting when I opened it.

  “Ma, where you at? Dad called me.”

  “I’m in here; I don't feel too good so I'm lying down. What your dad wanted?”

  He pushed my door open; I saw tears coming down his face. I wasn't worried about myself anymore. My baby was crying and that's all that mattered.

  “What’s wrong Josiah? Talk to me baby.”

  “Dad called me when I was on my way home, talking about he ain’t my dad. Some dude named Corey is my dad. Ma, what he's talking about?”

  The look on his face let me know he was hurting. “Mama what is he talking about?”

  I swallowed hard and looked at my son. I realized there was no way he was going to ease up or give me an easy way out. “Answer me Mama,” he said as he stepped closer to me.

  “What happened to your face?” he reached out and touched my face.

  “Nothing baby, I bumped into the wall.”

  “Ma did Dad do this to you?”

  Baby, no your dad didn't do it.”

  “So who hit you then? I ain’t no fool. I know you ain’t bump into no wall.”

  “Josiah, please listen to your mama. Hassan is your daddy and can’t nobody change that. You hear me?”

  “So, why he saying that? To top that off now I see your face.”

  “Your daddy is a little upset about some grown stuff, but trust me; he is your daddy.” I smiled at him.

  I was trying my best to let him off easy. I swear I didn't want my son to know that Hassan wasn’t his dad.

  “I swear I’ma get me a burner, ‘cause don't no nigga have the right to hit you like that.”

  “Boy, shut up talking like that. You better not be out there messing with no gun. You hear me, Josiah?”

  Without responding, he walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Any other time, I would have got up and served his ass for being disrespectful, but I knew he was hurting.

  I had no idea why Hassan had to be so cruel. He didn’t have to call Josiah; he could’ve allowed me to handle it. I guess he called himself trying to hurt me, but instead, he hurt my child. I bust out crying again, the more I thought about not having Hassan in my life, the worse it became. I grabbed the pillow and dug my head deep into it, screaming my lungs out. There’s no reason for me to keep living…

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Hassan Clarke

  Bitches are not worth anything these days. I should’ve listened to my Pops when he warned me about these hoes; Chris Brown ain’t lie when he said, ‘These hoes ain't loyal’. I was sitting in a hotel room basking in self-pity. That bitch Imani did the ultimate betrayal. She led me to believe for fifteen years that Josiah was my son. Now this lame-ass nigga claiming that he’s the daddy. I’ve never felt this low in my life before now. I was a fucking sucka; playing daddy, spending my damn money on a motherfucker that ain’t even mine.

  I risked everything to be with this bitch; even fucked up my relationship with Destiny. I thought Imani was the only woman for me. I had no idea she’s a whore. I understand I was living a double life, but I was in love with her ass and I was about to leave all these hoes, so she and I could settle down. Things were all the way fucked up. I took another swig of the Hennessy Black. That bitch violated me, fuck her; I was going to show her and that pussy ass nigga, that I wasn't to be fucked with…I spent the rest of the night drinking and plotting. As a lawyer, I couldn’t get my hands dirty, but that didn’t mean a nigga couldn’t get touched.

  I jumped up to the ringing of my phone; I grabbed it off the dresser and put it under my pillow to muffle the sound. Whoever it was wasn’t giving up.

  “Fuck,” I yelled and grabbed the phone.

  “Hello,” I said angrily.

  “Daddy, where are you? Do you know what time it is?” Amaiya yelled.

  “First off little girl, lower your damn voice. Now what's up?”

  “I was supposed to be at school an hour ago; now it’s after nine and you still not here to pick me up.”

  “Why you ain’t call your grandma, or better yet, why your little ass didn’t get on the bus?”

  “Grandma is at the hospital with Mama and I can’t get on the bus, because you was supposed to give me lunch money.”

  “Alright, alright, you ready?”

  “Yes, I'm ready.”

  I hung the phone up and rubbed my face. This little girl didn’t know when to shut up. Did she just say, it’s after nine? Fuck, I had to be in court at ten. I looked at the time and it read 9:07 a.m. There's no way I could have made it home, get dressed, drop her off and then make it downtown. The traffic was bumper to bumper going into Manhattan in the mornings. I scratched my head, trying to figure out what to do about Amaiya.

  I dialed Tanya’s number. I knew this wasn't a good look, but fuck it, I was desperate.

  “Hey babe,” she answered.

  “Hey love, I need a huge favor.”

  “What's going on?”

  “I need you to pick up my daughter and drop her off to school. Also give her twenty dollars for me until I see you later.”

  “Really? What your wife goin’ say about that?”

  “Tanya baby, no disrespect, but let me worry about Destiny.”

  “Okay…where is she at?”

  “She’s at the house, I’m about to call her and let her know you’re on your way. Thanks babe, I owe you one.”

  I felt relieved. I wish Tanya was the kind of woman that I could settle down with. She was great for a toy, but because of her race, it was definitely out of the question for me.

  I dialed Amaiya’s phone, to let her know Tanya was going to pick her up.

  “Amaiya, I can’t make it to pick you up because I have to head to work, but this lady will be there to pick you up. She's driving a silver BMW. Make sure you ready.”

  “Lady? Who is she and does Mom know?”

  “I’m not getting into all this right now. I gotta go, but I’ll see you later.” I hung up before she could say another word.

  Destiny Clarke

  I was happy to be released from the hospital. It was something about that place I couldn’t stand and to top it off, the food was horrible. Mama been bringing me some of her good home-cooked meals and that's the only reason I didn't snap on these people.

  “You ready baby girl?” Mama said.

  “Yes ma'am, I been ready two weeks ago,” I joked.

  The nurse pushed me in the wheelchair while Mama walked alongside.

  After we got into the car, Mama looked at me. “So how you really feeling?”

  “I tell you this, I'm feeling a lot better than I did. Not feeling a hundred percent yet.”

  “I’m happy you made it, God knows my heart couldn’t take it if anything happened to you.”

  “Mama, well I'm still here and I'm just grateful.”

  “Well, I know this might be too soon, but you need to see about that divorce lawyer. Don't sit around and wait for him to stress
you out again.”

  “Mama, you must’ve read my mind. For the last couple of days, that's all I've been thinking about. You know, for years I used to say I'm leaving him, but I was fooling myself. It wasn't until he burned me with some STDs, that I finally decided enough was enough. That’s some shit that I can't get over.”

  “STDs? You ain't mention nothing about that. What the hell?”

  “I didn't say anything, because I found out the same day I had the heart attack.”

  “That dirty bastard! Someone needs to put him out of his misery.”

  “Mama, you know I never loved a man after what happened to me. This time I could actually say, I loved Hassan. Only to find out, he wasn’t worth a damn. Sometimes it still bugs me; why didn’t I see him for what he really was? Am I that gullible and gone over this man that I couldn't see through the foolery?”

  “Baby girl, don't blame yourself. Snakes come in all forms and sizes. You had no reason to doubt him, until he showed you his real color. If you ask me, you should’ve got rid of his sorry behind a long time ago. You and Amaiya deserve so much more.”

  I wanted to cry, because her words were reaching my soul; however, I didn't want to be weak. I refused to be weak anymore for this man.

  ***

  Mama dropped me off at home and I was grateful to be back in my own space. The minute, I opened the door; I noticed the place looked like a tornado had passed through. I was tempted to grab my cleaning supplies and start scrubbing, but I decided against it. This was my first day home and the only thing I wanted to do was lay in my own bed. I took a well-needed bath to help relax my mind a little; I had some serious decisions to make and I had to be prepared. After thirty minutes, I got out of the bath and my body felt much better. I got dressed, made me a cup of soup, and got in bed.

  “Mama, Mama,” Amaiya ran up the stairs yelling.

  “Quit all that yelling child,” I said.

  She didn't respond; instead, she jumped on me hugging and kissing me.

  “Girl stop! Get off me with your school clothes. I told you there are a lot of germs running around in that school.”

  “Mama, you got OCD. Grandma told me you was at home and I couldn't wait to see you. I missed you so much, Mama.”

  “I missed you too baby girl. How you been doing?”

  “I’m good, I just missed you and Daddy don’t never be around. I don't know what's going on with him lately; he seems so different.”

  “Baby.” I took her hand into mine. I paused, for a second; I didn’t know how to tell my baby girl that her mommy and daddy wasn't going to be together. I held her hands tight.

  “What is Ma? You’re scaring me.”

  “Baby girl, I wanted to be the first one to tell you; I'm going to divorce your daddy.”

  “Is it because of that lady?” she asked.

  “What lady?” I blurted out.

  “Oh, the lady that picked me up this morning and took me to school.” I sat up in the bed. My mood went from joyous to bitter.

  “What do you mean she picked you up? Where was your damn father?”

  “Ma, calm down. Daddy was late coming to pick me up this morning so I called him. He said he had to be in court and someone was coming to pick me up.”

  “What the hell she look like?”

  “Young white woman.”

  “That bastard!” I yelled.

  “Mama, calm down; all that yelling is not good for you. Grandma told me you got to take it easy.”

  I knew she was right and I felt foolish. She was only fifteen, yet she was acting like the grown up and I was behaving like the child. I started to cry; every time I thought I was a step ahead, this bastard did some more fucked up shit to drag me back down. Amaiya scooted closer, and laid my head on her shoulder.

  “Mama, I know I'm still a child, but I'm not a baby anymore. I see how he treats you; he calls you all kinds of names. I always wished you would leave him. You're not happy like you used to be and I'm tired of seeing you hurt.”

  I hollered louder, as I heard the words that were spoken by my child; just the other day she was a baby and here she was, telling me some real shit. I put my arms around her and held her tight.

  “You know what Amaiya? I love you with everything in me, you hear me little girl?”

  “Ma stop, you squeezing me too tight.”

  “Sorry babe, I got carried away a little. Now take off your school clothes and you can call to order pizza and wings.”

  “Okay Ma; love you, now get some rest.” I watched as she stepped out of my room singing some rap song under her breath. “Lord help me, this child is no longer a baby,” I said.

  ***

  I couldn't sleep last night, after what Amaiya told me. I was more determined to get this bum out of my life for good. It wasn’t enough for him to cheat; he had to have his hoe around my child also.

  I made a cup of ginger tea, and then made a call to the attorney. I hadn't spoken with him since I was admitted to the hospital. I made an appointment to go into the office the next day. I didn't want to wait another damn minute.

  Mama’s called almost every hour since I came home. It’s a great feeling to have someone who cares, but I swear I just needed a break to myself. These last few months have been crazy and I had a gut feeling, it was going to get worse. I’m thinking about selling this place after the divorce. I didn't want to be reminded of him in no way; I swear I’m done, I kept reminding myself.

  The first place I tackled was the kitchen; dirty plates were all over. Don't ask me why, because I had a damn dishwasher. I didn't expect better though, because Hassan was a fucking pig. I then moved on to the living room, which smelled like pure ass. I walked off to go grab my vacuum, when I heard the doorbell ringing. Who the hell was that? I’m not in the mood for company, I thought as I walked to the door.

  Imani Gibson

  The pain was intense; I had cramps in my stomach and lower back. I tried to call out for help, but I was too weak; besides, Josiah had his music blasting. I felt something wet underneath me and when I put my hands to investigate, I found out it was blood. I reached for my cell phone and dialed 911.

  The police banged on the door, terrifying Josiah. He ran into my room yelling, “Mama. The police and ambulance people at the door, are you aiight?”

  “No baby, Mama not feeling too good. Go ahead, let them in.”

  Minutes later, they were wheeling me out on a stretcher. I could hear Josiah yelling in the background. I wanted to tell my baby it’s going to be okay, but I was too weak and didn't have the strength. Soon as they got me to the hospital, they rushed me to the second floor to get an ultrasound done. The doctor said he was trying to find my baby’s heartbeat and checked to see whether the amniotic sac that surrounded my baby was normal. I kept whispering a silent prayer to God. I didn't want to lose my baby. This might be Hassan’s baby.

  Shortly after the ultrasound, the doctor entered my room.

  “Miss Gibson, I'm so sorry to inform you, that you’ve had a miscarriage.”

  “What? Are you sure?”

  “Yes ma’am. You're bleeding pretty heavily and there’s no sign of a heartbeat. I'm going to perform a D&C, which is dilation and curettage. Basically, it’s a procedure to remove tissues from inside your uterus. This can be painful for you, so I’ll put you under a light sedation.” Everything around me seemed blank. I couldn't comprehend what this man was saying to me; the only thing I could think about was Hassan. I couldn’t lose him and now I have no baby to show him.

  “Miss Gibson, I don’t mean to intrude, but looking at how swollen your face is, I have to ask; did someone do something to cause this miscarriage?”

  “No, I bumped into the wall.”

  “I’m going to get you a grief counselor in here to talk with you.”

  “Grief counselor? Can this bitch bring me back my baby? I doubt it.” I looked at the doctor with an attitude.

  ***

  I woke up feeling kind of down, and that's
when it hit me; I was no longer pregnant. I rubbed my hand across my stomach; even though I wasn't far along, I’d known my baby was inside of me. I was hurting so much. “What did I do to deserve this?” I cried out.

  “Hello Miss Gibson. My name is Dr. Aletha Stewart; I’m the grief counselor here at the hospital. I know this might be a stupid question, but I have to ask. How are you feeling today?”

  “Have you ever had a miscarriage before?”

  “No ma'am, I can’t say I have.”

  “So there's no need to talk to you. Just because you went to school for this shit, don’t mean you know what the hell I’m going through.”

  “I understand, but sometimes talking with a professional can help you get through this difficult time.”

  “Listen lady, unless you can give me back my baby, I don't have anything to say to you. Please leave me the fuck alone and tell that doctor I'm ready to leave up out of here,” I yelled.

  I guess she got the picture, because she walked hurriedly out the room.

  ***

  I was still feeling weak, but that was only the physical pain. The mental pain of losing my child was killing me softly. To make matters worse, I’ve been calling Hassan to tell him I was in the hospital and I lost our baby. He never picked up the phone and trust me; I know he got my messages. I even called the office, but was told by the new secretary that he was not in. Bullshit, I knew his schedule, so I know he was not in court all day. I guess her ass must be fucking him also.

  My first day out of the hospital was terrible. I was no longer hurting, I was mad as hell. While in the hospital, I learned that I had gonorrhea. I’ve been fucking since I was a little girl and I’ve never caught anything. This lying ass nigga had the nerve to say I gave that shit to him. Even though I fucked Corey, I strongly doubt he was the one that burned me. I’m mad as hell, ‘cause that nigga could’ve given me AIDS. This nigga Hassan was playing with my life and I didn’t like it one bit.

  My tears were no longer flowing, as I decided that I was done dealing with his lies and bullshit. I got into my car, I was about to put a stop to this nigga. My thing is, if I couldn’t have him, then nobody else needed to have him. Hassan wanted to say fuck me and my child; he has not even bothered to check on my baby while I was gone. That shit was foul; for fifteen years, he sat up here, claiming how much he loved my son and all it took was a few moments for him to say fuck him. That showed me that Hassan didn’t love him anyway. I knew my son was hurting and wished I could take the pain away.