Wolf Pawn: A Dark Mafia Shifter Romance (Wolves of New York Book 2)
Page 10
I shake my head, the image of my dream self and her swollen stomach and helpless eyes sending panic dumping into my blood. “No. I’m not going to be forced to have a baby I’m not ready for, Maxim. No way.”
“Please,” he says, “just think about it? Think about it tonight, talk to the fertility expert in the morning, and we’ll reconnect tomorrow afternoon.” I pull in a breath, but he pushes on before I can speak, “And I’ll do some thinking, too. I’ll do my best to find another way. I promise. But if I can’t…”
He steps closer, lifting a hand to my throat.
I fully intend to step away, but the feel of his fingers sliding over my skin and into my hair is so damned delicious, I find myself rooted in place, staring up into his dark, glittering eyes as he whispers, “There are worse things than having a baby with a man who would lay down his life to protect his child.”
“Would you?” I challenge softly. “Really?”
“I would,” he says. “In a heartbeat. And the same applies to you. Once you’re carrying our baby, anyone who plans to hurt you will have to come through me, little wolf. I swear that to you on everything that matters. I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”
I swallow, fighting to ignore the way my body hums with longing to get closer to him. I’m horrified that he’s even considering forcing me to get pregnant, but I still want to taste him, touch him, feel his arms around me holding me tight.
“I don’t know what to feel right now,” I say in a rough voice. “What do you do when the bad guy and the person you trust to protect you from the bad guys are the same person?”
Pain tightens his features. “What do you do when you want to kill the man who raped your mate and…feel like you have no choice but to do the same thing?”
“It wouldn’t be rape,” I confess, tears rising in my eyes. “All you have to do is touch me and…I can’t help myself. I want you. So much. Even though I hate myself for it sometimes.”
“Don’t hate yourself,” he murmurs, his lips moving closer. “You’re too good to hate. Too good for me, most likely, but…I’ll try, little wolf. Work with me, help me help my people, and I swear I’ll try like hell to give you what you need.”
My lips part, but whatever I planned to say is swallowed up by a wave of desire as his mouth meets mine.
The kiss is soft and sweet, nothing like the passionate dance of lips, teeth, and tongue the last time we were this close, but instantly I’m desperate for more of him. I want him on top of me, pushing between my legs, claiming me as his, easing the hunger that gets stronger every time we touch. I want to kiss every inch of his beautiful body, from the furrow between his brows to the thick muscles in his arms to that part of him I can feel pulsing against my belly as he draws me closer.
And this longing is born from more than physical hunger. I want to comfort him, to ease his pain, to be the place where this powerful man can let down his guard and know he’ll still be safe, even when he’s hurting and scared.
I want to love him, but how can I?
When it’s obvious he doesn’t feel the same way?
I pull back, tears rising in my eyes as I take another step and then another, until there’s enough space between us for me to feel safe lifting my chin and meeting his gaze again. “I need some time. To myself. To think.”
He nods stiffly. “All right. Should we meet for lunch tomorrow? Continue this conversation then?”
“I doubt I’ll have much of an appetite.” I cross my arms over my chest. “But sure. I’ll be ready at noon.”
“I’ll pick you up then,” he says, collecting the tablet from the counter and starting toward the door. But before he reaches the entryway, he turns and says, “Diana is staying with a friend for the next few weeks, by the way. I thought it would be best if she didn’t overhear our conversation tonight or…anything else.”
Anything else like her brother trying to forcibly impregnate me? I wonder, but I don’t say the words aloud.
I’m angry, but there’s too much at stake to let anger call the shots. I have to think, to consider everything I’ve learned tonight, and to prepare myself to win this battle. I can’t afford to alienate Maxim by popping off without thinking.
So, I simply nod and say, “All right. See you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow,” he echoes.
As soon as the door closes behind him, I hurry to the bathroom, where I ask my reflection question after question about Kelley and Bane and Maxim and the baby he feels so certain we have to conceive, but my pack gift remains frustratingly silent.
I don’t know if it simply has no light to shed on these things or if it’s gone dormant again because I’m so damned stressed out or something, but after an hour of talking to myself, I admit defeat. I’m exhausted and overwhelmed and the best thing I can do for that is to get a good night’s sleep and consider everything again tomorrow with a clear head.
And there’s always a chance I’ll have another prophetic dream.
As I slip between the covers, I cross my fingers and pray for my pack gift to visit me while I sleep.
Instead, I spend the night tossing and turning, tormented by nightmares.
I run through a dark maze, hunted by my sister, who laughs when she traps me in a dead end. I stumble through a snowy forest carrying a baby, my hand pressed to the child’s lips to keep it from crying out and attracting the attention of the monsters hiding behind the trees, only to reach a safe house and realize the baby is a giant worm with rows and rows of deadly teeth.
I hide under a table in the North Star pack’s atrium, holding my swollen belly while a bloody battle wages all around me, knowing it’s only a matter of time before one of my enemies finds me, rips my child from my womb, and tears me in half with his bare hands.
Each dream is worse than the last, making me grateful when I open my eyes to see gray dawn light creeping through the curtains.
I’m still exhausted, but sleep isn’t a safe place for me.
And neither is this apartment, a voice shouts from the recesses of my foggy brain. What happens when the fertility expert examines you and realizes you’re still a virgin?
“Shit,” I murmur, my stomach knotting.
Panic thrumming in my veins, I toss off the covers and rush to get dressed, determined to think of a way out of my latest mess.
Chapter Fourteen
Maxim
I sleep for shit and wake up hard and aching to be buried in Willow and instantly feel disgusted by myself.
I can’t fuck my baby into her against her will.
Even if it wouldn’t technically be rape, it’s far too close for comfort. She made it clear I could seduce her into going along with it in the moment, but she’d hate me for it after.
And I don’t want her to hate me.
I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but sometime between waking her yesterday and hearing her promise her support last night, something has…softened inside of me.
I’m starting to give less and less of a shit about finding a way out of the engagement. Even if Bane and Kelley’s betrayal wasn’t a factor, I just…
I want her.
I want her in my bed, yes, but I also want her on my team and in my life. She’s the answer to questions I didn’t realize I had before I met her, but now that I do, I can’t go back to business as usual. I can’t go back to being the man I was before Willow showed me how lonely I’ve been, how much I’ve longed for a person who feels like my person.
For someone who feels like home…
I tell myself I barely know her and that this is just fated mate pheromone bullshit that will fade with time, as it becomes clear we’re about as well suited as a feral dog and a dandelion. I tell myself that I’m going to curse my dick for getting me into a match I can never be free of—our people don’t divorce—but even as I’m mentally lambasting my aching cock, I know it isn’t to blame.
It’s my heart that’s the problem. I was so positive that no woman would ever rule
it that I arrogantly left it undefended.
And now Willow has snatched it up in her tiny hands.
The realization is terrifying in so many ways that I do my best not to think about it as I shower, dress, and head downstairs to meet Hermione and the rest of my team for the morning briefing.
I’ll worry about becoming a besotted fool for my little wolf after I’ve ensured my pack is prepared for war.
“Have we heard from our allies?” I stride into the meeting room next to my office to find Hermione, my father, and the entire advisory team already assembled.
From the looks on their faces, it’s clear Hermione has already filled them in on the new developments. My poor father looks as devastated and betrayed as I felt last night, but…determined, too.
But then, he’s the one who raised me to keep fighting for my people, no matter what’s happening in my personal life.
The pack always comes first.
I hold that top of mind as Hermione starts her update, “The Montreal pack checked in last night. They’re ready to mobilize in twenty-four hours or less. As soon as we need them, they’ll be here. The Vancouver pack said the same, though they’ll need more travel time and can only spare one enforcer unit. They’re still in a pretty ugly fight with a rebel faction from The Vancouver Parallel.”
I nod. “And Atlanta, Pittsburgh, and Philadelphia?”
She gives a small shake of her head. “Nothing yet.”
My jaw tightens. “It’s still early. What about Boston and D.C.?”
She shakes her head again and my stomach hardens.
“We checked in with all of our core allies just last month.” Felix, my alliance advisor speaks up from the far end of the long table. “Everything seemed fine. No issues at all. This cold shoulder shit is coming out of nowhere.”
“Dispatch a small recon team to Boston and D.C. to see what’s going on,” I say. “They’re our oldest allies. If they’ve been won over to Bane and Kelley’s side, we can assume the rest of them are lost, too.”
“Will do,” Felix says, then adds in an incredulous voice, “but surely not, Alpha. There has to be some other explanation. They wouldn’t turn on us on a dime like that.”
“Maybe it’s not on a dime.” I pace in front of the windows, too restless to sit. “Maybe they’ve been feigning friendship for months, even years, waiting for Bane to give the word to drop the act.”
“But why?” Felix insists, glancing around at the other grave faces at the table. “I mean, this is insane, right? Surely, I’m not the only one who’s finding this hard to swallow? We’re not living in the Dark Ages, for fuck’s sake, especially Human Side. No one’s taken prophecies this seriously in centuries.”
“Maybe not, but something is up. Something bad.” Hermione sighs. “I did some texting last night, just casual, catching up kind of stuff to see who would text back. None of my friends or family in the Boston pack have responded, and I’ve been close with some of them since I was in diapers.”
Hermione’s mother’s people were from Boston. If she’s getting the cold shoulder from them, this is likely even worse than we thought.
“This is my fault,” my father says, his voice rough. “I should have done a better job of preparing the pack. I’ve always thought the prophecy contained grains of truth, I just never thought either of my sons would ever… Could ever…” He sighs. “I thought that part had to be wrong.”
I rest a hand on his shoulder, giving it a quick squeeze as I assure him, “It’s not your fault, Dad. It’s Bane’s. He could have come home any time and been welcomed with open arms. There’s no need for all of this.”
Dad pats my hand. “Maybe he didn’t think so. We fought the night before he left. I can’t remember everything we said, but…it was ugly. Maybe he didn’t realize there’s always room for forgiveness in a father’s heart.”
“Well, he should have,” I say. “I certainly do. So does Diana.”
“There’s something we’re missing,” Hermione says, her fingers lacing together on top of the table as she leans in. “Even if Bane thought you wouldn’t support his bid to lead the pack, Jukebox, there are far easier ways for him to take control. He could have challenged Maxim in the ring and, no offense, Alpha, but he would have won.”
I arch a brow. “None taken. He was always a beast with his fists.”
“Exactly,” Hermione says, “and judging from that video he posted, he’s only gotten bigger and stronger. So why go through all of this? Why steal from us and attack us?”
I grunt, nodding as I add, “Unless he did something he knows he’d be cast out for. Something the pack would find out about if he came back.”
“Or if he’s after something he knows our people won’t stand for,” Hermione says. “We need to know more about his end game.”
“Christopher said he’s promising love, light, and peace at the end of the uprising. That all shifters will live in harmony under his rule.”
“Smells like bullshit to me,” Denver growls from beside Felix. His opinion is met with nods from the rest of the advisory council. Vivian, the cultural advisor, adds, “You don’t ambush your brother or set off a bomb in a crowded theater full of innocent people if you’re after love and light. Both are violations of the Human Side shifter conflict code.”
Her words spark something deep in my brain, summoning a memory to the surface that I’d nearly forgotten. “Bane used to talk about erasing the boundaries. About what would happen if The Parallel and Human Side were merged into the same real space.” I turn back to Dad. “Remember? A long time ago, when I was in middle school I think.”
My father frowns. “Vaguely. But that’s impossible. The two sides are closer than they used to be, but they’ll never merge.”
“But isn’t there a theory about that?” I press, my instincts insisting there’s something here. “About what would happen if the two sides did combine? About how much stronger it would make supernatural beings, since we exist on both sides and humans are only present in one reality?”
Hermione sits up straighter. “There’s a physics concept. Causality, I think it’s called. I remember Bane talking about it, too, but it was too much for my brain to hold onto. Science isn’t my forte.” She points a finger toward the ceiling. “But I bet they’d be able to fill me in on twenty-seven,” she says, referencing our science and development lab. “Want me to do some research there and get back to you?”
“As long as you don’t have any hot leads to follow,” I say, nodding when she shakes her head and says, “Unfortunately not. Aside from Christopher, I haven’t heard a whisper about Bane’s coalition from any of our eyes and ears on the street. Either our spies don’t know about it, or they’re in on it and staying very quiet until it’s time to make their move.”
I sigh, silently hoping it’s the former. If this goes deeper than the shifter world—if other supernatural species are in on this, too—then we’re truly and completely fucked. With the help of our Canadian allies and the shifters Christopher is hopefully going to win over, we have a chance against the massive coalition Bane seems to have built. But with fairies and witches and vampires against us, we might as well surrender now and save ourselves the pointless death toll.
“Willow might be able to help, too,” Hermione adds. “She’s a scientist. And more likely to understand physics than I am. Maybe she can come with me?”
“I’m sure she’d like that,” I say, checking my watch. The fertility expert should be with her now, but I don’t expect the examination will take that long. “She should be free in fifteen minutes or so. Why don’t you swing by Diana’s apartment and pick her up on your way to twenty-seven. Then I can meet you both for lunch and see what you’ve learned.”
“And in the meantime, you and I should head down to the morgue, son.” My father motions for Cam, who’s been unusually quiet this morning, to come take control of his chair. “They’ve finished the autopsy on the kid who caught fire in the loading bay. Anton’s mad
e a positive I.D.”
My brows lift. “And when was Anton going to make me aware of this development?”
“He did make you aware,” Dad says, waving an impatient hand. “I went through the messages on your desk this morning.”
I bite back the impatient words on the tip of my tongue. I don’t want to seem at odds with my father in front of my advisors—many of whom were once his advisors—but we need to have a talk about respecting my boundaries as Alpha.
I’m in charge now. I’m guiding this ship and I can only guide it competently when everyone, including Dad, is obeying the chain of command.
“You’re all dismissed,” I say. “We’ll meet back here at five. Hopefully we’ll have more to share then.”
As chairs scoot back across the carpet and everyone disperses to do their part to preserve our pack, I turn to arch a meaningful brow at my father.
He scowls but he waits until it’s just the two of us—and Cam—before he says, “All right. Yes. I get it, son. I’ll stay away from your desk. I’m not trying to take over. I just want to help. I have to do something or I’m going to lose my fucking mind.” He rubs at the hollows above his eyes, wincing as his hand falls back into his lap. “I keep hoping I’m going to find something that explains all of this. That…excuses it somehow.”
I sigh. “I know, Dad. Me, too. But it’s not looking good right now. And if the scouts I sent out find Bane’s headquarters, I intend to make a pre-emptive move.”
He nods tiredly. “As you should. I was thinking that same thing.” His lips quirk as he glances up at me. “You sent the scouts to Pennsylvania, didn’t you?”
I nod. “Pennsylvania and North Carolina. The trees in the video look like redwoods, but I had the IT guys zoom in on the star formations in the sky above Kelley and Bane. That promo was filmed on the East Coast and there are only a few places with old growth forests and trees that big on this side of the country.”