Normal Enough

by Marie Sexton

  Kasey’s lunch suddenly felt heavy in his anxious stomach.

  It’s just you and me now, kid.

  Some part of him wanted to reach out and embrace that. But the rest of him feared it would be a mistake.

  Bandit sighed, drawing Kasey’s attention away from the now-silent machine. The dog was still eyeing Kasey’s sandwich hopefully. Kasey tossed him the last bite on his way out the door.

  Shortly after six, he was back at the garage, pulling the GTO into his work bay, feeling ridiculous. He got out and paced the length of the garage until he could stand it no more. At quarter till seven, he climbed slowly into the passenger seat and relaxed against the red leather. He didn’t fight his arousal this time. He let the atmosphere of the car do its work, remembering how good it had felt to masturbate in the Chevelle. When his pulse was racing and his cock half-erect, he opened the glove compartment and took out the iPad.

  What in the world was he supposed to do with it?

  Suddenly the device in his hand rang, causing him to jump. He saw his own startled face looking back at him. In the corner, a still shot of Brandon, and the message splashed across it all: Brandon Kenner would like to FaceTime.

  Kasey swallowed hard, wiping sweat from his brow. Was he ready for this?

  No! something in his mind screamed. But he put his finger on the “slide to answer” graphic and pulled it to the right.

  Brandon came alive on the screen. He appeared to be sitting at some kind of desk. Behind him, Kasey could see a chest of drawers and an unmade bed. “I’m a bit early. But it seems I’m not the only one.”

  Kasey laughed, embarrassed, yet pleased by Brandon’s eagerness to see him. “I guess not.”

  “Do you like the car?”

  “She’s gorgeous.”

  “Show me how much you like it.”

  Kasey cleared his throat. His arousal started to give way to fear. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “Sure you do.”

  “I can’t.” He shook his head. “I don’t understand what you want from me.” That wasn’t quite true. He knew what Brandon wanted. What he couldn’t figure out was why Brandon wanted it from him. After all, the man was attractive and confident and well educated. He was everything Kasey wasn’t.

  “Prop the iPad up somewhere so I can see you.”

  That was easier said than done. If he put it on the dashboard, against the windshield, it pointed toward the ceiling. Inside the open glove compartment gave him too little room to move his legs. In the end, he settled for resting it on the center console, propped against the gearshift.

  “Good,” Brandon said when he was finally settled. “Now, all I want you to do is the same thing you’d have done anyway. The same thing you did in the Chevelle. Except this time, I get to watch.”

  “But why?”

  Brandon sighed, showing aggravation for the first time. “Because it’s a turn-on. Why else?” He leaned closer to the camera, seeming to smile directly at Kasey, even though he was God knew how many miles away in the comfort of his own home. “Pretty please? Let me see how hot that car makes you. And if you like, I’ll show you how hot you make me.”

  Despite his nerves, Kasey was tempted. The eroticism of the car, the naked lust in Brandon’s eyes, and the very idea of what he was about to do won him over. His erection had waned a bit as he fought with the positioning of the iPad, but he was fully hard again in moments. He nodded. “Okay.”

  “Good.” Brandon leaned back in his seat. His gaze became soft and sexy. He removed his tie and began undoing the buttons on his collar. “Just relax, baby. Start by taking off your shirt.”

  As silly as he felt, Kasey was glad for some direction. He pulled his T-shirt over his head. The cool air against his flesh made his nipples stand on end.

  “God, you’re gorgeous.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “You are. And the fact you have no idea how fucking beautiful you are makes you that much more attractive.”

  Kasey looked down at his own body, trying to see it the way Brandon obviously did. He was naturally thin, but working at the garage kept his muscles toned. Still, he tended to think of himself as small and weak.

  “Don’t you go to clubs?” Brandon asked. “Pick men up now and then?”

  Kasey shook his head.

  “Bathhouses? Anything?”

  “No,” he said quietly, unable to meet the man’s eyes in that tiny rectangular screen. Other men may have done those things, but Kasey’d never been brave enough.

  “You’re not a virgin, are you?”

  “No.” Granted, he could count the number of partners he’d had in his life on one hand, but he’d at least had sex before.

  “I wish I could touch you right now. Are you sure I can’t come down there?”

  Kasey didn’t even have to answer. His alarm must have been evident, because Brandon immediately said, “I take it back. I’ll settle for watching.” He winked. “For now.”

  Kasey nodded, wondering if his relief was written across his face. He made himself meet Brandon’s gaze on the screen. Even now, he expected to see disgust or disdain, but he didn’t. All he saw was unabashed arousal—a dark, smoldering lust in Brandon’s eyes that made him feel almost sexy. He sat up straighter. He ran his fingertips lightly down his chest and stomach, enjoying the softness of his own skin and the trail of goose bumps he left behind.

  “That’s it, baby. Relax. Enjoy yourself.”

  Kasey smiled. He’d spent a lifetime being shy, but he suddenly felt bold. He leaned back in the seat and ran his hands up and down his stomach, while reveling in the atmosphere of the car. Her dark interior made him feel secretive and seductive and desperate. Wanton, yet not perverse. Yes, he could do this. He’d jacked off a thousand times in his life. Maybe a million. Who cared? He knew his body. Knew what turned him on and what didn’t. Knew how to give himself pleasure. What did it matter if Brandon was watching? He quit worrying about what the man thought and concentrated instead on his own arousal. The gentle ache in his groin. The dark, dry mustiness of the car. The cool leather against his back.

  His erection strained against his jeans, and Kasey arched into his hands, caressing the bulge with his fingers. The car smelled of leather, but he remembered, too, the smell of rust and weeds. He remembered the hot, hard men on glossy pages, their lust forever captured by the camera as they fisted their erections. Kasey squeezed his cock through his jeans, moaning at the memory, and he heard Brandon moan in response. He smiled to himself, pleased somebody could find him sexy.

  He glanced through slitted eyelids at Brandon. The man had unbuttoned his shirt. His eyes were heavy-lidded with arousal.

  “Undo your pants, baby. Please.”

  Kasey did as he was asked, then slid them down over his hips. His underwear went with them, and his erect cock popped free to slap against his stomach. He wiggled everything down his legs, impatiently pushing his shoes off and his pants after them, leaving them in a crumpled mess beneath his feet. He was naked. Completely exposed. He settled onto the red seat, but before he could touch himself again, Brandon said, “Turn this way. Spread your legs. Let me see you.”

  Kasey swung his left leg into the driver side, not quite straddling the center console. The small window in the corner of the iPad screen showed him what Brandon was seeing—all of him in view, but with his groin and ass taking up most of the screen. He’d never seen himself from quite that angle, but even he had to admit, it was intriguing. Kasey reached between his legs to caress the insides of his thighs. He brushed his thumb over his perineum, watching himself in the tiny window as he did. He spread he cheeks as best he could, trying to show Brandon more.

  Brandon moaned. He slid his hand down his stomach, out of view, but Kasey could see his arm moving. He could imagine Brandon stroking himself. But imagining it wasn’t enough. He wanted to watch. “I want to see you too.”

  Brandon smiled at him. “I’m glad to hear it, but I don’t think I’ll let you.
Not quite yet. I want more.”

  Kasey moaned, partly in arousal, partly in frustration. He reached down and cupped his balls in his hand, squeezing gently, relishing the almost-pain and the surge of arousal that followed. He rolled them in his fingers, rocking back and forth against the side of the console as he did. He liked the friction of its hard edge against his ass. The tease of it as it brushed his entrance. He squeezed his scrotum harder, pulling lightly, and was pleased at the way Brandon’s expression became rapt and lustful. His arm, hand still hidden under the desk, began to move faster. His tongue darted out to moisten his lip.

  Kasey slid his hand up from his scrotum, trailing his fingertips up his length to his head. It was tipped with moisture, and he leaned closer to the camera to give Brandon a good view as he spread those satiny drops in slow circles around his crown. The pleasure was intense, and he arched his back, biting his lip to keep from crying out.

  “Oh, Jesus,” Brandon panted from the iPad. “God, you’re hot, baby. So fucking perfect, I could suck you all night.”

  Kasey moaned at the thought.

  “Come on, honey. Quit teasing me. Let me see you do it.”

  He looked positively desperate, and that desperation excited Kasey. He thrust his cock up through the clenched fingers of his hand, crying out at the pleasure as he slid his fist down his length. He began to pump, slowly at first, but the urge to come was already strong. On screen, Brandon continued to move, his hand hidden under his desk.

  “Let me see you,” Kasey gasped. “Show me!”

  Brandon stood, bringing his hard cock and his stroking hand into view. His body was slim. His stomach flat, although not cut. His hips perfectly formed. His cock was long and slender, and his hand moved relentlessly up and down its length. Kasey found himself speeding up, matching his stroke to Brandon’s, imagining that Brandon really was next to him in the car, getting him off as he’d offered the other day. He wondered how it would feel to be touched by him. To be kissed and sucked by him. To be fucked by him.

  God, he wanted to find out.

  He used his mouth to moisten the fingers of his free hand, then slid his hand under his ass, probing between his legs.

  “Yes,” Brandon panted. “Oh God, yes. Do it, baby. Let me see you fuck yourself.”

  Kasey slid one finger inside, gasping at the sudden invasion, then moaning at the pleasure. The angle was wrong for him to reach too deep, but the pressure on his rim was exquisite. He slid a second finger in too, noting Brandon’s strangled moan. On the screen, Brandon hunched forward, his hand a blur on his cock, his muscles tight under his skin, too engrossed in his pleasure to do anything more than shudder and gasp.

  Kasey could sense the man’s impending orgasm. His was bearing down on him as well. He bucked his hips, moving fast, rushing wildly toward his release. It was the most purely sexual, erotic moment of his life. Everything seemed designed to heighten his excitement: the seats, the car, the magazines, so bright and real in his memory. His own flesh, the heat of his body tight around his fingers, the pleasure of sliding his cock in and out of his fist. And over it all, there was Brandon. His eyes half-closed, his hand moving wildly on his cock, his shoulders tense, his mouth moist and open as he panted along with Kasey. It was unbelievable. Slightly kinky and strange, yet perfect. And when Brandon finally spasmed, crying out as he came again and again, pumping his seed onto his desk for Kasey to see, Kasey let go too.

  It was liberating. He didn’t feel like a freak. Not one bit. He felt sated and sexy and so fucking good he could barely breathe. More than anything, he felt….

  Normal.

  Once it was over, though, he wasn’t sure what to do. The iPad was still on. Brandon still watched him from its screen, but eroticism was quickly turning to awkwardness. Kasey’s stomach and hand were covered with semen, and although he’d been warm enough while jacking off, the garage suddenly felt cold.

  Brandon turned away from the screen and yelled, “Just a minute!” Then, to Kasey, “My cat. She’s outraged at being locked out of my room.” He looked down at the mess he’d made on his desk. “How about we take a few minutes. Meet me back here in five?”

  “Uh—”

  But Brandon was already gone. He hadn’t closed the FaceTime window, but he was no longer at his desk.

  “Sure,” Kasey finished to himself, shaking his head.

  He went to the employee bathroom and cleaned up, then went over the interior of the car, making sure he left it spotless. He got dressed. Brandon still wasn’t on screen, but his desk was no longer covered in semen, so it seemed he was making progress. Kasey could hear him talking to somebody—presumably his cat—although he couldn’t quite make out the words.

  “And I’m back,” Brandon said, suddenly appearing onscreen. Almost immediately, the picture was taken up by a large white cat, who jumped onto the desk and deposited herself between Brandon and the camera. “And so is Paisley. Move, girl.”

  She responded with an indignant meow, but didn’t budge.

  Brandon sighed. “You have any pets?”

  “I have a dog. Bandit.”

  “I’m glad to hear it. I don’t trust anybody who doesn’t like animals.” Paisley sat, the back of her head to the camera, and Brandon slid her sideways to peek from behind her while scratching her ears. “What kind of dog?”

  “He’s a mutt.”

  “I’d like to have a dog, but I travel too much. All I have to do with Paisley is put extra food in her bowl and have my cleaning lady change her box. But dogs get lonely.”

  “They do.”

  “Tell me about you. You’re single, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. Probably should’ve asked that to begin with. You live alone?”

  “Just me and Bandit.”

  “And you don’t have a cell phone.” He stroked his cat idly. “So you must not have much of a social life.”

  “Not really.”

  “What about your family?”

  Kasey shrugged, feeling uncomfortable. “We don’t talk much.”

  “Why not?”

  Kasey hesitated. He’d never talked to anybody about his family. Then again, few people had ever asked. If he’d been facing Brandon in person, he wouldn’t have been able to do it, but talking to the face on the screen wasn’t the same. It gave him a sense of distance and safety. Besides, he’d already revealed his darkest secret to Brandon. Everything seemed easier now.

  And so, without quite knowing why, Kasey found himself telling Brandon about his father, who’d collected old cars but never had the money or the know-how to fix them and always gave up and went back to drinking instead. He told him about being the surprise baby, born years after his brothers, and about his mother, who had been sad, yet gentle. He talked about being the momma’s boy of the family until she died from the tumor nobody had known was eating at her insides.

  He talked until his throat was dry. It was unprecedented, and yet at the same time, it was an enormous relief. It wasn’t that he had ever decided to share so much. It was simply that Brandon seemed to have a knack for asking the right questions. For getting right to the heart of the matter, and for listening without passing judgment. For the first time, Kasey understood why people paid good money to talk to counselors, because somehow, saying the words out loud seemed to make it all easier to face.

  “I’m so sorry, Kasey,” Brandon said when Kasey finally ran out of steam.

  Kasey shrugged, because it seemed strange to accept sympathy now for something that had happened fourteen years ago. “It’s fine.” Even though it wasn’t.

  “How old were you when she died?”

  “Ten.”

  Brandon hung his head for a moment. Paisley, having been ignored for several minutes, gave him up as a lost cause and jumped off the desk. “That must’ve been hard,” he finally said.

  Kasey could only nod.

  “And your brothers? How old were they?”

  “They were already in high school.”


  “And how did they handle it?”

  “Together, but without me.” Roger, Richie, and Roderick had always been a trio, born so close together, it was almost a crime. He’d never been one of them, and after their mother’s death, they’d closed ranks, leaving him more alone than ever.

  “But you’d all lost somebody,” Brandon said. “Why did they think it would be different for you? Why didn’t your dad reach out to you?”

  “Because….” And here, Kasey faltered, afraid to say the words out loud. “Because I don’t think I was actually his son.” He traced his finger on the seams in the upholstery, keeping his eyes hidden so Brandon wouldn’t see how the admission hurt him. For years, he’d wanted to deny it, but as he grew older, he’d had to accept the truth. He didn’t look like his brothers, or his father. And he didn’t look much like his mother, either. They all had brown hair and brown eyes. Although Kasey’s hair was only a bit darker than theirs, his eyes gave him away. They were green. Nobody else in the family had green eyes, just as none of them shared his slight stature.

  It wasn’t so much that he blamed his mother for the affair. What he’d never understood was why she’d ever gone back to her husband.

  “My dad always said I was an introvert. Except, you know, he said it like it was a bad word. Like it made me some kind of pervert. He and my brothers said I was ‘soft.’ And when they found out I was gay, it was like it confirmed everything. My dad said, ‘I knew you weren’t mine.’”

  “How about now? Has he come around?”

  Kasey shook his head, not daring to look up. “I moved out after graduation, and he died four years later.”

  “And you were still on bad terms when that happened?”

  Kasey nodded.

  “And your brothers? What about them?”

  “Rod died just a couple of months later. Drank himself to death. Roger pretends I don’t exist. And Richie….” He sighed, still fidgeting with the trim on the seat.

  “What about Richie?”

  “He’s different. He’s married and has a couple of kids now. He calls sometimes, but I don’t know what to say to him.”