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Fade to Black (The Black Trilogy Book 1)

Page 25

by MC Webb


  “Josh?” I said, not recognizing my own voice anymore. “It’s Piper, Josh.”

  I raised my hand to stroke his now long brown hair. I cried for him for a long time, Ryan never interrupting me. I eventually lay down beside Josh after his nurse came to take notes and left without speaking to us. Ryan sat with his eyes closed, and his head against the wall. I began talking softly to Josh, trying to will him better.

  “You saved my little girl. I’ll never make that up to you,” I said through quiet sobs. “I guess I owe you a lifetime supply of Nana’s cornbread and apple pie, huh? Or have you changed your favorites again?” I asked him, smiling at the memories.

  I talked more than I had the last forty-eight hours, allowing the clock to tick by unnoticed. Ryan lightly snored as I went on and on. I thought of Matthew and of Jean-Paul taking him from me.

  “Josh, you can’t leave me. Matthew didn’t know, but you do. You’re still here for a reason. You have people waiting for you to wake up. I need you to wake up, Josh.”

  My breath was now catching in my throat, and I tried to calm myself before I continued my pleading. I turned to see the sun peeking from between two buildings, rising slowly.

  I unclasped a steel chain from my neck. On it was the black diamond ring Matthew had given me the night we first promised ourselves to each other, on my sweet sixteenth birthday. I held the ring now, running my fingers along the circle of dark stones.

  “When Matthew gave me this, it was a promise of a life we would live, a promise of things not yet seen but hoped for, a promise to one another. Josh, he was taken from us and was unable to fulfill those promises.”

  I began wrapping the chain around Josh’s wrist, the ring attached to it. I clasped it and took Josh’s big hand in mine, placing his on my cheek.

  “On days I was too injured to get out of bed, this ring, or rather what it represented, pushed me to go on even when I didn’t want to. I had it on when I gave birth to my daughter, and when I finally fought back against Jean-Paul. I give it now to you, so that you may pull on its powers. Alone it is useless, but combine what it stands for with your faith that your spirit is as unbreakable as the circle, and Josh, you will get better. I promise you with all of my heart, I will make this right.”

  I lay my head down on his chest, and sobbed.

  “Come back to me. Come back to your parents, and Ryan and Roger and Nathan and Sheldon. Come back to Ellie, and watch her grow and witness the life you saved. Josh, please don’t leave me. Please don’t go where I cannot follow you. Please stay and laugh with me.”

  My body shook hard, and I felt Ryan’s hands on me. I stayed on Josh’s chest listening to his strong and steady heartbeat. How could something sound so good if it were dying?

  Finally, I rose from the bed, wiping my now swollen eyes. Startled by a movement from the door, I jumped seeing Mrs. Logue there. I was unsure how long she had been there. She watched me as I left the room, but said nothing. I could not read her face, as I walked past her. She did not look disgusted by my being there, nor did she seem pleased. Meekly I left her to be with her son.

  I did not talk as Titan escorted us out, nor on the drive back to the Plaza. Ryan said very little, but held me, and rubbed my arm as if trying to warm me. Ellie was still sleeping when we return to our suite. I lay fully dressed in the dark with Ryan. The scratches on my arms itched as they healed. I fought the desire to slice them open again. I didn’t cry anymore, but softly told Ryan about the friendship Josh and I always had.

  I finally dozed off and woke around noon. I found Ellie and Ryan watching SpongeBob together on the couch, happy and content. I kissed Ryan’s hair, and sat with Ellie in between us. We wasted the rest of the day ordering in, and vegging out on the couch. It was blissful as the snow fell all that day.

  chapter thirty-two

  Going from eight inches of snow, to seventy-five degrees and sunny in one afternoon was a shock, but a welcome one. We arrived in Tampa, Florida, to gorgeous blue skies. I couldn’t look away from all the water we crossed. We drove over majestic bridges across the bay, and ended up in a beachfront mansion.

  The small bridge we crossed to reach the house gave us breathtaking views of the surrounding properties. We stayed in the car, as Titan made sure the area met his approval. Ellie ran from the car as soon as the door opened.

  The sun was blinding and heavenly. We could see speedboats racing not far off the coast. We had our own boat to use at will.

  “We can take it out while we are here, if you would like?” Ryan said, noticing my interest in it.

  “You can drive us?” I asked

  Ryan chuckled.

  “I can do some things on my own, believe it or not.” I playfully jabbed a rib and he said, “Ouch. Watch it now. I can’t show up on set with bruises. The boat is like driving a car by the way, except no brakes. Turn a key, and press the gas. Simple as that.”

  I noted the different things he said about the boat, thinking this might be a good idea for what I needed to do. I wiped the thoughts away. I had to save them for when I was alone. Right now, I had Ryan and Ellie. I wanted to enjoy them without the looming prospects of my future.

  Ryan and I watched the sunset while Ellie chased seagulls. I made us grilled cheese sandwiches and chips for dinner, and then we played Uno until Ellie started nodding off. I followed Ryan upstairs to her room and watched as he tucked her into bed.

  It was strange when Ryan sent for the female bodyguard they called Rhodes. We passed her in the hall, and said good night. Rhodes would stay in Ellie’s room, reading, or watching TV, but she would shoot anyone who tried to enter, as would Titan or the other two guards, Bryson and Kent.

  All in all, I felt pretty safe at the moment. Maybe it was my decision and the peace I got from it. Ryan and I showered together, not waiting for the bed to begin making love. When we were alone, it was as if we had always known each other, always loved each other. We collapsed in bed tangled in each other’s limbs, sleepy and satisfied.

  “I may be gone when you get up in the morning,” he told me in the dark.

  Off in the distance, the moon danced on the water.

  “I’ll miss you,” I said.

  “Piper?” he said, keeping me awake.

  “Hmm?”

  “Let’s get married.”

  My eyes snapped open.

  “What?” I said, maybe a little too surprised.

  “You don’t want to?” he sounded defensive.

  I sighed, thinking how odd it was for his first thought to be me not wanting him.

  “I’ve never thought about it. I never thought you would…” I stopped short of saying that he couldn’t possibly want somebody like me. Instead I said, “…you would want to.”

  Ryan pulled me closer to him. His cool, naked body gave me cold chills and a rapid pulse.

  “I do. I want you forever and ever. Would you want me? Even knowing I’m broken in many ways?”

  His words shocked me.

  “Broken?” I asked, confused.

  “You know, the drugs? This twisted way of living with the paps, and the crazy fans? All that is not something I would wish on you, but I’m too selfish to not want you with me all of the time.”

  I kissed him, amazed he considered these things issues.

  “So, is that a yes? A no?” There was doubt in his voice.

  “Ryan, we are currently in hiding from a man who wants me dead. If that were not a factor, I would say absolutely, yes. Without a doubt, yes, But my best friend is lying in ICU because I put him there. My childhood sweetheart is dead, cold in the grave because of me. I cannot, and will not bury you as well. Until Jean-Paul is dead, I’ll never be free to live nor will you.”

  Ryan got out of bed, angry now.

  “What are you saying, Piper? What do you mean Josh being in a coma is your fault? And what? You’re going to allow this mother-fucker to control you? And no one is dead because of you. If anyone is dead because of you, then I am completely respons
ible for Molly blowing her brains out in front of me.”

  I watched as his chest heaved in the dim light from the bathroom. He was naked in more ways than one. I was not frightened, but mad at myself for saying too much.

  “Don’t you love me, Piper? Am I so bad?”

  I sat up and got on my knees still on the bed. I put my arms around his neck and nuzzled him.

  “I love you, Ryan. Truth be known, I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you.”

  Ryan snorted remembering that first moment.

  “Okay, the second moment. I never stopped thinking about you.”

  I felt his body relax into mine. He was awakening, and I felt his stiffness between us. He rubbed my back, shoulders to bottom, in long strokes like rubbing a cat’s back. Running his fingers up and down, then moving to my sides, then breasts, bending and kissing my neck.

  “I love you. I want nothing more than to be with you. Say yes.” Now he had his mouth on my breasts, causing my breathing to speed up. “Say yes, if you want it too.”

  Giving in, my mouth on his now, I said, “Yes. Yes. Yes.”

  After drowning in each other, and long, light-hearted conversations, I asked Ryan to take me to a tattoo parlor.

  “Now?” he said shocked. “But it’s two in the morning.”

  I pinched him lightly.

  “It’s your fault. You woke me up. Come on, please?”

  Grudgingly Ryan had Titan locate an artist, and then take us to a local parlor called Guns and Needles. I was in awe of how easy things were to do when Ryan’s name was used.

  After listening to the artist carry on and on about Ryan’s recent movie, and “how fucking wicked” it was, I sat with my back to him, as he gave me my first tattoo. Ryan watched, trying not to chew on his nails.

  “Quit fussing over me,” I said, amused at him.

  “Does it hurt?” he asked, squinting.

  “Not at all,” I said, meaning it. I caused myself pain for many years with cutting, and had endured countless beatings. The tiny needing etchings didn’t bother me in the least.

  When the artist was finished, I stared in the mirror at the once ugly, scarred tissue given to me on my honeymoon. It now had delicate writing on top of it.

  To thine own self be true…

  Through my horrible existence with my mother and Daniel, burying Matthew, Nana, Lana, Papaw, living years and years with a monster that used me as a punching bag, my daddy’s teachings lived brightly in me.

  That quote from Hamlet was one of my last memories of him. His handsome face and his voice I’d nearly forgotten, yet the words he loved so dearly stuck to my insides.

  “To thine own self be true,” he said in his best Shakespeare voice.

  “But what does it mean, Daddy?” I asked from my bed.

  I watch his mind click through his deep brown eyes, my own eyes looking back at me.

  “Well, Piper, it means you can’t ever be who you’re meant to be, like God intended, unless you are truthful to yourself first. Always remember who you are—here.” With a finger, he touched the spot where my heart was.

  I placed my hand over my heart at the memory, as it ached at the thought.

  “Like it?” The artist asked me, unsure of his work.

  Other than the eight-gauge earrings, the man looked like a Sunday school teacher.

  “I love it. Thank you,” I said, and hugged him.

  Ryan and I posed for pictures with him, and made our way back to the house. I was happy, as I climbed into bed with my movie star. The following day, Ellie’s name would be changed to Knox. Ryan would take us out on the boat for the day after an early morning meeting, and he would begin work on the film that evening. We would at some time file papers for a marriage license.

  I said a prayer for my loved ones, saying an extra one for Josh, and slept, looking forward to a future with only the slightest doubt I wouldn’t come out alive.

  All I had to do was figure out my next move without anyone getting hurt, or knowing what I was about to do. Before I could move on with Ryan and our little family, I had to go back and do what I should have done before. Isn’t that the way it goes?

  You’re walking along, then bam! You’re in a spider web. But just because I walked face-first into the web, that didn’t mean I had to stay there and wait to be devoured.

  chapter thirty-three

  Ryan ~

  It was the middle of March, and filming on Treasure Island would end the next day. I had been sober just shy of five months. I lay tired and happy in a chaise by the ocean. My daughter and her “friend” Rhodes were building sandcastles.

  Rhodes had been an exceptional choice as Ellie’s bodyguard, and I had faith in her ability to protect my child. Piper was returning from a sand bank where she had been fishing sand dollars out with her toes. I glanced twenty yards behind her, watching Titan keep his distance from her, but never quite out of sight. I knew Bryce was at the house, and two others were stationed somewhere I never knew, for Titan never told us.

  “Just rest assured, your family is secure Mr. Knox,” he would say at least once a week.

  Josh had phoned earlier, and he sounded stronger every time I spoke with him. We thought we had lost him a time or two, but he surprised even his doctors when he woke and had no lasting effects from the infection. He refused to hear of any of us leaving to come see him.

  “It doesn’t make sense, bro. I’m on the mend. Piper and Ellie are safe with you. Let’s keep it that way, okay?”

  I couldn’t disagree, primarily because I was selfish and wanted to keep Piper and Ellie all to myself as long as I could. Before I could argue he changed the subject.

  “Roger spoke to some feds this morning. Looks like Jean-Paul lost a family member in a shooting off Highway 55, in the direction of Memphis. Just found his body. They think it had to do with what they were hauling.” He said not hiding the disgust he felt at the thought.

  “They, and the investigators Roger has working on him, believe Jean-Paul is sticking close to home in Louisiana. Ryan, you know how close you all are to him? Just stay safe, and listen to Titan. I’ll see you soon. Tell Piper and Ellie hello for me.”

  We hung up, and since the phone call, I couldn’t wait to get out of Florida. This place had been an escape, but the reality was, Piper was too quiet, and I worried constantly.

  Photos of us ended up on a tabloid television show. I watched it, still shocked at how these parasites and their mega-zoom lenses could capture such clear images. This day they caught Piper and me on a boardwalk, then again later that day at Bubba Gump’s, out at John’s Pass. We thought we were being inconspicuous, but the photographer got us, holding hands, and feeding each other. At least it wasn’t the million-dollar kiss.

  We looked silly and in love, exactly what Piper and I were. The only thing that bothered me was while in the gift shop looking over the many different Bubba Gump shirts and hats, they took a photo of me reading a sign, and Piper was looking out of the window with that deadened look she sometimes got when she didn’t know I was watching.

  It was an empty look, as if she were waiting for something, and as quickly as I saw it, she turned it off and became the light in the room again. I had a bad feeling she was hiding something, something I was sure she knew I wouldn’t like.

  “Daddy!” Ellie squealed, running my way with a fistful of slimy seaweed.

  She giggled as I acted like I was scared of it. I pulled her up on the chaise with me squeezing and hugging her, leaning back on the lounge.

  “Ellie, honey, did you put sunblock on today?” I asked, sliding the strap of her shirt aside to reveal a bright white line.

  “Yeah, but Momma says I’m as red as a pickled beet.”

  I chuckled.

  “What in the world is a ‘pickled beet’? Is that some kind of Tennessee thing? Or is it another way of saying as red as a beetroot?”

  Ellie shrugged.

  “Tomorrow, I’ll be as brown as a biscuit. Daddy you talk funn
y sometimes.”

  “I talk funny? Ha! Just cause I’m not a country bumpkin doesn’t mean I talk funny.”

  I tickled her ribs, and she squealed. She squeezed my neck and returned to the sand.

  Piper started my way, and I watched her long legs as she walked. I loved every inch of her. I knew I had a stupid grin on my face, but I didn’t care. Piper was gorgeous, inside and out. I noticed the thin layer of skin glue that covered her new tattoo on the inside of her left forearm.

  Since the night of the first one, she began getting different scars covered with words, delicate, small letters, covering ugly reminders of her past. So far Piper had five tattoos. The first was To thine own self be true. Then there was the scar under her right breast that now bore the words, Keep breathing. That one had something to do with birth.

  Then her right hip bore a nasty thick scar she had covered with, Nana said there would be days like this. Next on the inside of her left bicep, there was a tiny willow tree. This sat in the middle of several long pink scars. When I asked what they were from she shrugged.

  “From my own hands this time,” and I left it at that. I did not push her, knowing it would get me nowhere. Instead, I allowed Piper her space until she was ready to talk.

  This last tattoo was my handwriting: If music be the food of love, play on, from Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night. At first, it was just me goofing off with a Sharpie. I was pleasantly surprised when the following day I learned she had made my script permanent.

  Kicking off her flip-flops, Piper sat her bag of shells on the sand beside me.

  “What are you smiling at?”

  She lay beside me, wrapping her arms around me. I kissed the top of her head.

  “I was just thinking of your ink, love,” I told her, squeezing her closer.

  “I’m a bad girl,” she teased.

  I bent to kiss her full lips, something I couldn’t stop doing when we were together. We lay in the sun, listening to the waves and Ellie’s giggles. It was heaven. The sun. The sea and my girls. I would be sad to leave.

 

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