“I’ve gotta go home for dinner. Have fun.” She gets up but keeps her head down as she walks by. She does a subtle wave before she’s got her back to me.
“You too.” I reply softly.
A text comes in from Amber so I spend the next twenty minutes sitting here, before I go home to eat too.
On the way to my room, I run into Jared in the hall. Not literally. He gives me a sidelong glance, studying me. I squirm, wondering what his problem is. “Where’ve you been?”
“I had to get out for a bit. I went to the park. Why?” What does it matter to him, anyway?
He raises his brows in surprise. “Did you happen to run into Skylar? She was there too.”
“Yep. I’m done talking now.”
I walk out of my room shortly after head down the stairs to the kitchen where my dad has dinner laid out on the table. I catch a whiff of the deliciousness of roast beef and fried potatoes with biscuits. My dad’s not the best cook, but he does try to give us everything we need. When my mom left, he stopped functioning for a while. It was such a slap in the face to him, and unexpected. He was a mess, and it took him time to deal with reality that became his life; a single father of two. But thankfully, we had Rose to help out. She’s an amazing cook, and she helped pull him out of the dark. I’ll forever be grateful to her.
I sit down at the table and grab a plate. My father clears his throat and says, “So how was school today Jackson?” I sit in silence and look down at my empty plate, momentarily spaced out. I swallow and look at him. “Uneventful, as usual.” I respond shortly. My dad nods and fixes his plate.
Dinner is quiet, which is how it usually is. I remember all the times we had dinner with Skylar and her mom. Those were the days. Now Rose is too busy to come around anymore. I miss her care-free spirit. We need that in this house.
“So Jackson,” Jared’s voice gets my attention. I shovel a fork full into my mouth. “Why are you with Amber? She’s such a brat.”
“What do you care?” I ask with force.
“I’m just asking. Skylar’s been put through enough crap because of her. Don’t you think it’s time to set her straight?” Why are we talking about Skylar now?
“I don’t know what you mean.” I ignore him when he goes on and on, and wonder if he’s secretly harboring feelings for her too.
Amber picked me up after dinner so I could cool off. Part of me wanted to ask if he likes her, I guess it’s not really my business. “Seriously Jacks, you’re gonna get out of here.” I try not to let that name bother me. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Soon you’ll be on your own and we’ll be together.” The fact that Amber thinks we’re gonna be together after high school makes me wonder; do I want that? I shake my head, already knowing the answer.
“I think Jared likes Skylar.” I blurt out. Well shit, that was stupid. Amber blinks and laughs then looks serious. “Well good for him. Then maybe she’ll stop bothering with you.” See? Jealous. I bite my tongue. I don’t even know if she likes me that way. We’ve been best friends and the last few years, I’ve been cordial with her and we’d talk outside of school in passing. But I never implied I liked her more. And it’s not like I was all sweet to her, either.
She wraps her arms around my waist and pulls me close. “Seriously Jacks, let your brother have her. They make the perfect loser couple.”
Actually Jared is quite the opposite of loser. After high school he went to law school, though he dropped out and got a job at a bank on the management side and is doing pretty good. He lives at home to save money for now. He graduated from high school at seventeen with pretty close to perfect scores. I always wanted to play for the Dallas Cowboys. But I’m thinking of playing for another team, in another state. Maybe. Either way, as long as I keep my grades up, I’ll get out of Houston. And either way, I’ve never been able to squash my jealousy of my brother because he’s a better candidate than me in so many ways. I wish I was as smart, or at least half as smart.
I kiss Amber, hungrily and urgently to get my mind off everything. My hormones are all over the place, needing this physical connection. And with Amber sitting so close to me, I can smell her luscious fruity scent and it’s making me dizzy.
She pulls away and looks at me. I grab her shoulders and kiss her again forcefully pulling her to the bed. I hover over her and look into her pretty greenish-gray eyes. I bend down and bite her bottom lip, sucking on it briefly. She groans in pleasure, urging me on. When I dip my head, I kiss her lips gently this time. My tongue slips out, searching for hers. She runs her fingers through my hair and it feels so fucking good. I keep both of my hands on the bed holding me up.
But then I just. Stop and back away. While I pace around the room like a fucking crazy person, Amber asks. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just need to go home now. I have a ton of homework.” I lie to her, wishing I could just be honest with myself for once. I walk out of her room leaving her flustered.
Amber begrudgingly drives me home and it’s quiet, but I know she’s upset. “Are you okay?” She finally asks. Fucking Hell, why can’t she leave it alone? So I don’t wanna fuck her tonight; well I did. But my head is starting to get foggy moreso than not these days. I nod in her direction and glance out my window.
She doesn’t let shit go easily. “Jackson, what’s going on? You’re starting to scare me.”
I grind my teeth before I speak. “I’m fine. I just need sleep. I’m stressing about the season, it’s my last year, and I want it to be the best, sports-wise. And well, just…academically, obviously it’s not gonna happen. So I need to concentrate on football, so I can get out of here.” I hear her sigh but she keeps her eyes on the road. When I get out, I circle around to her side and give her a quick kiss through the open window and watch her leave.
I lie in my bed that night, staring at the wall trying to replay events from the day and where my emotions are coming from. Surely Amber did nothing wrong. But it seems I can’t stop thinking about Skylar, no matter what I do. And now my brother likes her? Or maybe I’m reading into too much.
There’s a knock at the door and my father steps in. “Son, I need to have a word with you.” He sits down on my bed. What’s with everyone knocking, and then just walking in?
I keep my tone calm. “What’s up dad?”
“Well that’s what I was going to ask you. At dinner, you and your brother seemed a bit off, hostile toward each other.” Is he just now seeing that? We’ve been this way for years now.
“Why don’t you ask him?” I say. “He’s the one with a problem. Since when is it his business who I date? He’s never cared before.” I grab my phone off my end table and send a quick text to Amber.
Hey, I’m going to sleep. But I’m not mad at you, we’ll talk more tomorrow. She quickly texts me back.
Okay good, you had me worried there. Get some sleep. Kisses.
I close my phone and set it next to my bed then turn off the lights and drift off.
The next morning, I wake up and get dressed. I grab my book bag and scamper off down to the kitchen.
“Hey Jackson.” Skylar says in her sweet voice.
I freeze and give her a once-over. “What are you doing here?” I try to act unaffected. God, her hair…something about her hair does weird shit to my senses.
She looks away. “Jared is giving me a ride to school today; my car is in the shop.”
“Hey bro, need a lift?” Jared asks. Uh, I have a car, I almost say.
I shake my head no and grab an apple as I make my way out the door to my car. But not before noticing a certain look in her eyes, uncertain of what’s conveyed. Now’s not the time.
I buckle up and wonder if I should offer her a ride. It takes me three minutes to think about it, but then I just leave.
Chapter 5
Skylar
I watched Jackson’s retreating back and couldn’t help but feel disappointed. My heart aches and feels hollow, like I’ve been punched in the gut.
I guess it shouldn’t surprise me that I’d be dismissed so quickly when he’s never indicated any feelings toward me other than annoyance. What have I done to him to make him hate me so much? Maybe he’s not the guy I thought he was.
Jared’s comment shakes me from my thoughts. “Well that went well.”
I still stare at the door that he passed through moments ago, processing his behavior. “Yeah, swell.” More like ran for his life through.
“Sky, he’s gone. The door is not going to magically open and present your Prince Charming. He’s probably already at school by now.” I nod slowly and swallow the bile threatening to rise from my throat and take a deep breath.
“Am I that obvious?” I ask prying my eyes away from the door to look at Jared. What a stupid question.
“Obvious as a dog in heat.” I let out a small chuckle then grab my book bag and head to the door. “Shall we?” He asks and I have a sudden urge to skip school today and sleep my stupid emotions away.
I grab my stomach and say, “I’m not feeling so well, maybe I should stay home and sleep.”
Jared shakes his head, “Skylar, you’re not staying home. He’s not worth you flunking your senior year. Besides I need to get to work soon so we need to get on with it.” I nod and numbly follow him to his car and get in. Ugh, when did life get so complicated?
The drive to school is quiet and I can tell Jared is lost in his own thoughts. I’m afraid to know what he’s thinking. Maybe my sulking and constant whining over his brother is not helping the awkward tension I feel going on between us. He glances at me for a moment and I can see in his eyes concern.
“Cheer up Sky, there are a million guys who would love to date you. That would actually see you, like really see you. Show my stupid brother what he’s missing.”
“I don’t want to date anyone else. I just—” Suddenly the car comes to a screeching halt and a very irritated Jared turns to me, nostrils flaring. Yikes! I hesitate and look out the back to make sure no cars are coming and hit us. My breath catches in my throat, nervous.
“God dammit Skylar, can’t you see he’s not worth your tears or sadness? Jackson’s being a selfish asshat and as long as he’s with Amber, it’s not going to change. God, what is it with women always going for the douche bags?” As soon as he sees the hurt on my face, he relaxes. “Sky, I just don’t want you getting hurt. I love you,” I raise a brow and he laughs. “Like a best friend, I love you like my best friend and hate seeing you so upset.”
Guilt shuts me up, and I’m thankful for Jared always sticking up for me and seeing the best in me, even when I don’t always see the good in myself. I guess I have good qualities, I just have to remember just because I’m not who Jackson sees me, I’m still the same girl he’s known our whole life.
He gets back onto the road, “I’m sorry for losing my cool. I just think you deserve the best and Jackson is not the best.” I look out my window. Maybe it’s better to forget about him. Focus on my studies so I can get into a good art school or something. Yeah, I guess that’s ideal. I should do that.
“Hey.” Randa catches up with me as we step inside the school.
“Hey.” I acknowledge her with a slight nod but my thoughts are elsewhere.
“What’s up? Why did Jared give you a ride to school?”
I watch my feet shuffle along the tile. “Mine is in the shop right now. I should get it back tomorrow.” I really wished Jackson would’ve given me a ride, though. It would’ve made more sense.
“Ah, cool. What’s the plan for the weekend?”
I shrug and don’t respond.
“Okay, let’s just play it by ear. Not to mention, we need to plan a birthday gathering or something.” I nod in agreement and walk to my class, leaving her behind. Oh yeah, my birthday. Whoopdi-do!
I try to concentrate in my English class, but it’s nearly impossible to read the words that are written in our books assigned to us, which doesn’t interest me. My eyes scan the words over and over, but it’s all a blur. I’d rather read my own novel I recently bought at the bookstore.
Then I hear a snicker behind me, Amber. Great!
I try to ignore her and pay attention to my work but I keep feeling the lead of a pencil in my back, followed by quiet cackling. I take a deep breath, controlling the urge to take her pencil and shove it up her nose.
I feel it again, a little deeper. I flinch and move forward, pressing my chest into my desk. It’s very uncomfortable.
She whispers. “Hey, art nerd.” My hands clench into fists, my nails biting my palms. “I know you can hear me.”
I don’t acknowledge her, but hide my shaking hands. I really hate this bitch. I don’t know what Jackson sees in her; besides the fact that she’s a hot cheerleader, but a real snob. I guess he likes that type. The type that has to make everyone else in the world feel less than her.
Whatever.
I go back to my business, because frankly, she’s not worth the space in my head. Just ignore her.
But when she pokes me, hard, I spin around in my seat, clenching my jaw, and give her the most evil look I can muster. It surprises her. I guess she didn’t expect little old me to get angry. She leans back a little. “Stop poking me, before I take your pencil and stab you in the eye.” That was harsh, but I had no control of what came out of my mouth at that moment.
Or I just didn’t care.
She narrows her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest. “Is that a threat?”
My English teacher looks up from his desk, “Is there a problem Ms. McKenzie?” I turn back around and mumble a “no” and pretend to read.
As soon as the bell rings, I quickly make my escape, not that I’m scared of her. I just don’t want to deal with her hatred and animosity. Or jealousy as Jackson puts it.
“Hey.” Randa sidles up beside me. “So are you okay? You left quickly earlier.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just got a lot on my mind.” We stop at my locker and I put my books up so I can get ready for lunch. I’d rather eat in the restroom to avoid everyone. But I’m tugged by the arm of a very energetic Randa.
We get in line and grab a tray. “What’s for lunch today, hmm?” I look at the choices we have-very limited by my standards-but I grab a piece of pizza, salad and a drink and hand the lunch lady my card. “Ugh, I can’t choose. I want everything.” Randa says. I wrinkle my nose in distaste. I never cared for cafeteria food and only eat it to avoid a lecture from my mother, every day. Otherwise I’d just be buying chips, candy bar and a soda all year long.
I mumble, “I’m going to find a table.” Taking my tray and scanning the cafeteria for a secluded place, away from everyone. Of course there is none. My eyes zone in on him, across the room, with her.
“What are you looking at?” Randa follows my line of sight and sneers. “They’re such a perfect pair, hot outside, ugly inside. Come on, let’s go.”
Ian finds us when we sit in a corner. My gaze follows Jackson as he laughs, pulling Amber with him. Jealousy sinks deep into the pit of my stomach. I look down at the floor, wishing they didn’t go to school here. It’s my last year, and then I’ll be gone, hopefully far from here.
Amber says, “Oh hey, it’s the art nerd.” Her voice makes my blood boil, but I ignore her. “Can you draw me flipping you off?”
Chapter 6
Jackson
Amber tells Skylar something and I can tell she’s pissed. Her face is twisted into anger and I grab Amber’s hand to pull her away before shit hits the fan. “Come on, she’s not worth it.” But really, she’s worth a lot more.
“Next time you threaten me in class, you better hope I don’t beat the shit out of you.” I look at Skylar and hope my expression isn’t anything more than apologetic, but she keeps her gaze on Amber.
Randa stands up and gets in Amber’s face, defending her friend. I’m glad someone does.
“Well, the next time you decide to acknowledge my existence by poking me in the back with a pencil, I won’t hold back.” Sk
ylar says with more venom than I’ve heard her use. She was never the fighting type, she always kept to herself and stayed out of trouble, but then again, we haven’t been around each other much in a few years. I guess she’s changed. “Just leave Amber, you can take your jealousy crap somewhere else.”
I tug on her arm, “Amber, let’s just go before you get into trouble. Or do something stupid.”
She whips her head to look at me. “Are you defending her? Really, Jackson?”
I drop her hand, instantly annoyed. “I just said not to fight, that’s not defending her Amber.” I say her name with frustration. Why the fuck does she have to start this shit? “Whatever, I’m out.” I turn to walk away, giving Skylar one last look before leaving the lunch room. I crack a small grin before I’m out of the doors, hoping she caught it.
I’m in practice, needing to throw all my anger into it. We tackle one another; I run down the field and hit a touchdown, throwing the ball to the ground, hard. “Whoo!” I shout in victory.
Nick bumps fists with me. “Hell yeah, that’s what I’m talking about.” We do a few more runs and I’m exhausted.
After practice, we walk to the locker room, Nick on my heels. “Hey, there’s a party this weekend. A bunch of us from the team are going.” I change my shirt before sitting down on the bench, in need of a cigarette.
I look up. “Sure, I’m down for getting drunk.”
“Cool.” We finish changing and walk out chatting about nonsense, the drama from today forgotten.
Amber catches up to me, “Hey babe.” She links her arm in mine. I ignore the voice telling me to shrug her off.
“Hey.” I keep my voice neutral.
“I’m still waiting for you to apologize for taking the nerd’s side at lunch.” The vein in my neck pops. An apology? Is she fucking serious?
I stop dead in my tracks, pulling away from her. “You want an apology from me? You’re kidding, right?”
She crinkles her brows, “Well, yeah. I mean-“
Torn (Torn Heart) Page 3