I sit on the sofa. “Sorry, I hope I’m not bothering you.” I’m not drunk, but I’ve had a few and I’m sure she could smell it on me.
She shakes her head and smiles, “Not at all. How are you doing? Have you been drinking?” She’s onto me.
“Yeah, I was at a party. Listen, I just remembered it’s Skylar’s birthday tomorrow. I feel like an ass for not thinking of it sooner.” Slouching into the cushions, I glance up at the ceiling. “I’ve been a really bad friend the last few years.” I turn my head to look at Rose. She’s watching me with curiosity. “I don’t know what to do. My girlfriend likes to make Skylar’s life hell and I’m on the verge of tossing her.”
She sits quietly, a pleased expression lights up her eyes. “It sounds to me, like you do care for Skylar. But being that you’ve been through some stuff, it makes it difficult for you to allow yourself to feel emotions.” My head is starting to hurt, but I do my best to take in her theory, even though she’s not telling me something I don’t already know. I hope I’ll remember this conversation tomorrow. “You should really think about it, Jackson. You two have always been a pair. If you like her, you should act on it. If you don’t, at least be cordial with her. She deserves it.”
My leg bounces up and down like a basketball, while I rub my temples. “I agree, and I’m sorry. I’ll consider your idea. I’m just…scared.” She sits with me a while, giving me her best “I know what you’re going through” speech. But I don’t stay too long, in case Skylar comes back. Rose gives me a hug goodbye, it’s comforting. It’s definitely something I’m not used to.
Amber leaps next to me at my locker Monday morning. “Hey, babe.” I hadn’t heard much from her since that text she sent me at the party.
I’m also not in the mood to hear what she has to say. “What’s up?”
“Sorry, I was busy. How was your weekend?” Right, she was busy.
I shut my locker. “It was fine. What were you doing?”
She runs her hand through her hair, nervously. “I just had to help my parents with some stuff. So, can you come over tonight?” She looks hopeful.
I hate to squash that hope but I can tell she’s not being honest with me. “I don’t know yet, I might be busy.” I lie. “I’ll let you know.” I leave her and walk off to my class.
I work on my assignment for Economics in silence. When the bell rings, I walk down the hall in a daze and almost run into Skylar.
I walk past her, but then turn around and grab her by the arm down an empty hall. “Hey,” I let go of her arm. “Happy late birthday.”
Her brows go up into her hair and then she leans against the wall. “Thanks. I think.”
“I saw the picture Randa posted on facebook. You looked…nice.” I roll my eyes at my own stupidity. Why the fuck am I so nervous? I don’t get nervous. She watches me, amused. “So, are you dating Jared or something?” I stick my hands into my pockets.
Now she laughs, like it’s a ridiculous thought. “No, we’re not dating. I think it’s funny you assume that, though. Why are you so interested in what I’m doing now, anyway?” Her posture; arms crossed over her chest, one leg to the side, hip jutted outward, and lips pulled into a pout. I can’t help but find it fucking adorable.
I wish I could be honest, and lay my heart out there, right here, right now. But I’d be lying if I said it’s not intimidating. Rose’s words come back to, if I like her, I should tell her. Or I should at least be civil with her. After all, she’s been the only person I could ever count on.
I look away, hoping she didn’t notice me staring at her mouth too long. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for how I’ve acted. I’ve been an ass and you haven’t deserved a bit of it. We’ve known each other our whole lives, and there’s no reason we can’t be friends.” It’s not what I really want, but it’s a start.
She thinks about it, glancing around us at the students passing by. “What about Amber?”
I press my shoulder against the wall, mirroring her stance. “Let me worry about her. But on my end, I won’t treat you like shit anymore.” I look down at my watch, noticing we only have a few minutes left. “It’s time to go to class.”
She catches the time on the wall clock and makes a face. “If I’m late again, I’m gonna kill you.”
I smirk, “I’ll take the blame.”
We go in opposite directions, but I turn when she calls my name. “You better not have some ulterior motive to why you’re being nice.”
I walk back and stop close enough to get a gasp out of her and it’s thrilling to see her affected, “I’m being serious here. I know I’m the last person you’d believe. But,” I search her eyes, needing her to believe me but we’re also gonna be late. “We’ll talk later, the bell’s about to ring.” I step back slowly, creating distance between us. “I promise no motive.” And her smile is the last thing I see when I turn the corner. Just as the bell rings.
Chapter 9
Skylar
Again, I’m late to class. And again, it’s thanks to Jackson. Though this one is my art class so it’s not too big of a deal, it’s my favorite class of the day. But still, the fact that Jackson wants to be friends again blows my mind. What brought this on? Maybe he and Amber are having problems. Maybe he sees something more in me, finally. My heart was pumping so quickly at his proximity, I was sure it’d jump out my chest and knock him out. Either way, I’m pretty uncertain what to do with it.
I had such a great birthday weekend. My mother took me out on Saturday for my actual birthday; we had manis/pedis. It was nice and relaxing and I felt wonderful. But it was still bothering me that I saw Amber and Daniel together. It shouldn’t bother me, but I feel like she’s not being honest or something. I almost let it slip when we were talking. But, it’s not my place.
I fix my hair in a messy bun before draping my smock over my clothes.
My teacher smiles at me. “Hello, Skylar.”
“Hi, Mr. Shaw.” I sit at my table and pull out my supplies.
He addresses the class. “Today is free art. You can paint whatever comes to mind, whatever makes you happy.” He tells the class. We all get to work and even though part of me knows what I want to paint, I’m still undecided. My phone vibrates in my pocket and I discreetly check it. A text from Randa.
Randa: I’m so bored. My History class sucks. How’s Art?
I smile and type out a quick reply.
Me: It’s good. I’ve got something to tell you later. It’s a humdinger.
Randa: Oh, I love humdingers. Now you’re gonna keep me in suspense. Damn you, Sky.
I laugh and tell her I’ll see her at lunch.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Mr. Shaw standing close to where I’m sitting. “So what are you working on, Ms. McKenzie?” I’m just starting but I already know how it’ll look. I found a picture of Jackson and me when we were five and six, in a box in my closet. We were sitting on a rock, looking out at the ocean. My mother took the picture. She always had an idea that we’d end up together.
“I’m painting a boy and a girl, best friends, in their innocence.”
He smiles, approvingly. “It’s gonna look great, I’m sure.”
My mind drifts off to Jackson, remembering his smirk and when he touched me. At least he wants to be friends again.
I smile and put my paintbrush to work, hoping I can recapture the kids in the picture. Maybe one day we’ll be that close again.
Randa’s voice behind me says, “So, he seriously said that?”
“Yeah, crazy right? It’s like something’s changed.” I grab my tray of food and pay the lunch lady. I scan the cafeteria for Jackson, hoping I can catch a glimpse of him. I won’t become obsessed or anything. I do wanna see him, though.
“See, I think Amber is two-timing him. Or maybe she’s just not satisfying his needs.”
Disappointment fills my chest when I see neither of them. No, relief with Amber, but disappointment with Jackson. “Well, either way, I’ll be happy to have
my friend back.”
Ian waves us over. “Hey I got us a table.”
Finally, I see Amber walk in alone. She looks upset. She finds and joins her crew. Jackson doesn’t show up. I don’t know if I should feel relieved or disappointed.
“So, I’m guessing he saw the picture?” She asks me.
Ian looks at me, “Who?”
“Jackson.” I answer him. I look at Randa, “Yes, he told me I looked nice.”
“Ha! See? I knew he’d like the picture. Aren’t I a genius?” She tends to her food, proud. “I guess silly games pay off.” She sticks her tongue out at me.
“He also asked if I was dating Jared. Again.” She laughs, knowing that’d happen, based on the picture. We did look friendly, and I guess those who don’t know us would assume we were an item. But why would he really think I’m dating his brother? Just because we’re close…it’s a crazy thought.
“So are you going to ask Jackson out or something?” Randa shovels some potatoes in her mouth.
I gape at her. “Seriously? There’s no way that’s happening. We haven’t even hung out, outside of school yet.”
“So, invite him somewhere. It’s not hard.” Yeah right. I’m not that confident it would go well.
Ian nods as if to agree with her. “I think she has a good point. You don’t have to go out on a date with him. At least not while he’s with her,” he nods to his girlfriend who’s laughing at her friends. “Just invite him over for to your house for a movie. Friends do that.” Okay, I could do that. We used to watch movies together all the time.
I watch Ian kiss Randa on the cheek sweetly. I’d love to experience dating, but there’s no one that I’m interested in. No one available anyway. It looks nice, easy.
I just hope to fall in love; real love. I mean. The way my parents did. Their love was the kind everyone wanted. My father respected my mother and treated her with kindness and love. And she did the same. Maybe that’s why she hasn’t moved on; it’s rare to find that kind of love. And once you find it, nothing else can live up to it. It only comes once. I feel a stab of pain for her, knowing she’s facing life alone. Send her a sign, dad.
Randa waves her hand in my face. “Hey, are you okay?”
I blink and look up at her concerned eyes. “Yeah, sorry. I guess I dozed off.” I stand up with my tray, “I’m done, I’m gonna throw my trash away.” I look down at my barely eaten lunch, take my apple off the tray and throw the rest of it away. As I bite into the fruit, I start walking back to the table when a foot kicks out in front of me; sending me crashing to the ground. I saw it too late.
My apple flies out of my hand and I shriek. “You bitch!” I notice Randa making her way to help me, but already a pair of arms help pull me up. “Thank you.” I tell a very angry Jackson.
He looks at me once I’m upright, “Are you okay?” I nod. He turns toward Amber, “I told you to leave her the fuck alone, Amber. I’m sick of this shit!” I watch him yell at her, it’s better than me being on the receiving end, but I can’t help find it hot.
Her face contorts into a cold glare. “It was an accident. Why are you getting pissed at me?”
I throw my hand up in exasperation. “An accident? You stuck your foot out as soon as I was close enough to you.” I should’ve seen it coming.
She whips her head toward me, giving me a threatening look. “I wasn’t talking to you, Skylar.”
I pick up the apple and throw it away before stalking back to the table, sending her a glare.
Randa joins me, “Dude, did you see that?” We both watch them, still arguing. “He came to your aide…in front of her.”
“Yes he did.” I shake my head, “Why does he put up with her crap?” It doesn’t seem like a healthy relationship.
She scoffs. “He won’t be for long if she keeps this shit up.” I don’t disagree. “Next time she pulls that crap, get up and punch her in the face.” I gawk at her. I’ve never been in a fight and I don’t intend to start. I don’t reply. I get up and get ready to head to our lockers. And I don’t bother looking in Jackson’s direction to see if they’re still fighting either.
***
I’m frustrated, on the verge of pulling my hair out. “Ugh, seriously, why do I need Calculus? I hate numbers! I suck at this crap.”
“Relax, I’ll help you. I’m a master at numbers, you know.” Jared nudges my shoulder, playfully. Of course he is, working at a bank and all.
I push my book and assignment to the far side of the kitchen table. “It won’t help. I’ll never get it.” I pull open the fridge door. “Do you want something to drink?” I offer.
“I’ll take…” he squints, looking at the ceiling, “Do you have Gatorade?”
“No, we have orange juice, apple juice, cranberry juice, tea, water and ginger ale.” I try not to drink soda, it rots your teeth.
“I’ll take Orange Juice.” I grab a glass and the juice.
Speaking of teeth, “Hey, I need to get an appointment with your dad. I need a cleaning.” It’s been a year since I was at the dentist. Maybe more, if I’m being honest.
I hand him a glass of orange juice and fix myself a glass of tea. ”Thank you. Call him; I’m sure he’ll get you in right away.” His hair falls in his face and I find myself wanting to move it. I quickly place my hands in my lap.
I take a sip of my drink, and sit back. “I don’t want him doing any favors just because he knows me.”
He stands up and stretches, “Seriously, Sky he’ll get you in.” He finishes his drink, taking it to the sink. “I gotta get home. Talk later?”
My mother walks into the kitchen and sets a bag of groceries on the counter. “Hey kids, how was your day?”
He takes a bag from her grip as it starts falling from her hands. “Hey Rose, it was fine, it’s work. How are you?”
She smiles appreciatively at him. “I’m good. Are you staying for dinner?”
“No ma’am, afraid not. Maybe later this week, though.” She pats his cheek, affectionately. She’s always been fond of Jared, as he got older and respectful. He’s always had that going for him, respect. His father raised him right.
I stand up and walk him to the door. When we step outside, he turns mid-walk and says, “Let me know when you need me, I’ll help with your homework.” He turns back around.
“This weekend.” I blurt out, stopping him. “Let’s do something this weekend.”
He walks back toward me on the porch, “Sounds good to me. I’m off on Saturday.”
“Awesome.” I give him a quick hug before he climbs into his truck.
I walk back inside and put my homework away, not wanting to look at my stupid Calculus book for the rest of the night.
“I spoke to Jackson.” My mother says when I re-enter the kitchen. I fill my glass up with more tea and sit down.
“When? About what?”
“Friday night he came over.”
Why am I just now hearing about this? I whip my head up to look at her, “And?” I prod.
“Is he being nicer to you?”
I run my finger down my glass, feeling the coldness it produces, wondering if that’s why he’s being nice. Did my mom put him up to it? Now I’m annoyed.
Chapter 10
Jackson
I drive to the gas station for gas and a pack of cigarettes. Being eighteen is good for something, I guess.
“Ugh, seriously.” Amber sneers as I get back in the car.
I put my pack in the center console. “What?” I don’t cover up my annoyance. I’m still pissed at her display the other day. We got into it; knowing damn well she tripped Skylar on purpose.
She points to my smokes. “When are you going to quit? Kissing you is like kissing my Uncle James, which I try not to do.” She turns away.
“Then don’t fucking kiss me. Geez, I’m sick of your bitching.” I put the car into drive and the tires screech. No one will tell me what I should or shouldn’t do. She pouts in the passenger seat and I have the sudden u
rge to find a secluded dirt road, dump her ass and take off, as my car blows dust in her face. Why didn’t I realize how shallow and fake cheerleaders were? At least, this one sitting next to me.
She lightly touches my arm, “I’m sorry, Jackson. I’m just in a foul mood.” She’s always in a foul mood. I keep my eyes on the road, wondering if I should just take her home so I can do my own thing.
My phone beeps, and before I can grab it, Amber’s already checking the text. Fuck, I should’ve kept it in my lap or on my side of the door where she can’t reach it so easily.
She starts texting. “Oh, it’s Jake. He wants us to come over and have some beers with some of the guys and their girlfriends.”
“What are you doing?” I ask, appalled.
She looks up briefly, “I’m telling him we’re on our way.”
I almost stop short, but remain calm as I glance at her in disbelief. “You’re fucking kidding me right?” I grip the steering wheel tightly, “You didn’t even ask if I wanted to go, you just decided we’re going since you wanna go.”
She keeps her eyes on the phone. “What’s the problem?”
“For one thing, you answer MY fucking phone, and for another, you check MY message, and then you just assume that I’m going to do whatever the hell you want me to do without so much as asking me. Why don’t you tell me the problem here, Amber? I’m sure you can figure it out, you’re not that dense.” I know she’d go ape shit if I ever tried checking her messages, and I’d be accused of snooping because I didn’t trust her. She makes sure I can’t get her phone; it’s a total double standard.
“Do you wanna go?” Her voice sounds almost as if it was a simple mistake that she didn’t ask me before, like she just forgot. Oh, sure it makes it all better now. At this point, I need a drink so what the hell? God, I’m turning into an alcoholic.
Twenty minutes later, we pull up to Jake’s driveway where five other cars are parked. I grab my cigarettes. Amber gets out and follows me inside, trying to hold my hand but I pull away and scurry into the game room where the party is going on.
Torn (Torn Heart) Page 6