They’re playing pool, “Hey, you guys made it.” I pull my pack out and get to lighting.
Amber enters the hall and calls out, “Okay, well I’m going to be hanging out with the girls. You guys do your disgusting smoking habit; you’ll all die anyway but whatever.” Everyone ignores her.
I sit down at one of their small round tables, blowing smoke rings. “Dude, she’s a bitch.” Jake sits next to me with a mixture of shock and disgust. “Well, she’s always been one.”
“You think?” I say, taking the beer he got for me from the cooler. “Thanks.” I open it and take a swig. Beer mixed with cigarettes is my idea of a good time. Okay, throw some Xbox 360 in there, and I’m good for about three hours.
“She’s a hot bitch, though.” Daniel remarks, making suggestive gestures with his hand and dick. “I’m sure she’s a great lay.”
“Dude, shut up.” Jake tells him. I just ignore them all, looking at my phone for something to do.
We do our guy thing, talk about football, comment on who’s hot and who’s not. I can hear the girls giggling in the next room. Jake asks if he can bum a cigarette, I happily oblige.
Jake’s a cool guy, probably one of the better ones, along with Nick and Drew. The rest enjoy sex too much, which I’m all for sex, but I don’t sleep around like they do. Also, they condone cheating, I don’t. I draw the line right there. Or just above it. So, that was a load of shit; I used to be like that. But Amber and I have been on and off since mid-freshman year. Has it been that long?
Amber barges in, “Okay, so we’re playing truth or dare. You guys have to be involved.” She adds, “We’ll play it in the other room so the rest of us don’t have to inhale that stuff.”
“No, we’re not playing that. We’re having guy time.” Jake waves her off but she just stands there with her arms over her chest. Her shirt rises up slightly, revealing her belly button. It annoys me the way she has to show off her body all the time. So she’s got a great figure, and she should show it off. But the way she does it is more slutty than classy. It’s like she wants all the guys to ogle her. Especially Daniel.
She whines. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”
“Isn’t that game played in middle school?” I ask, not hiding my annoyance.
“I’m up for some truth or dare.” Daniel says, grabbing another beer and standing by Amber’s side. I look to Jake, who’s looking back at me, mirroring my expression. We reluctantly get up and join them in the living room. I’d rather play drunk, cause then I wouldn’t remember this stupid night.
I take a seat on the floor, leaning against the fireplace mantle. We form somewhat of a circle, each of us getting a turn. I think the game is stupid and childish, but at least it’s better than spin the fucking bottle or Nine Minutes in Heaven or some shit.
When it gets to me, I hesitate. Do I want to tell a truth in front of everyone? Or do something blackmail-ish?
I finally decide at the last minute. “I’ll do a dare.” I say, hoping like hell I don’t regret it. But I’d probably regret the truth more, especially if it involves someone not here.
“Okay, you have to make out with one of these girls here.” I stare at Amber, flabbergasted. Is she serious?
“Uh, no. I don’t cheat.” Why am I arguing when she’s giving me free reign? Is it still cheating in that case?
“Oh come on, you pussy, just fucking make out with Leslie or Cheryl.” Daniel, who has no morals, suggests. I lean back and cross my arms, not moving. This game is bullshit, I don’t cheat.
“Come on, Jackson. Just do it, this one time.” Jake urges me. “Your own girlfriend is daring you to. She thinks you can’t do it.” I consider what he’s saying for a minute, “Just prove her wrong so she’ll shut the hell up.”
I relent. “Alright fine, I’ll do it.” I glance at Amber, “But you better not hold this over my head. You told me to do it. It was your idea, remember that.”
She rolls her eyes. “Fine, just do it already.”
I can’t believe I’m going through with this. I slowly walk over to Misty, a nicer version of Amber and her eyes go wide when she notices me approaching her. “Let’s get this over with.” I try not to sound like an ass.
She nods and smiles and I grab her face, bringing her lips to mine. I close my eyes, picturing another face, fuller lips, and softer skin. Our mouths move together for a few seconds before we break apart.
“Longer.” Amber says.
I shake my head, “You didn’t say how long, I’m done.”
“Just kiss her for like, thirty seconds.” Daniel pipes in. God damn, this game is getting jacked up.
We kiss for thirty seconds and pull away. Misty smiles, satisfied. But I’m pretty flustered and annoyed. I wipe my mouth; it was a pretty sloppy kiss.
Daniel says. “You have to use tongue.”
“Fuck you, you kiss her then.” I sit down in my spot, my blood boiling. I need a cigarette.
The game lasts for another hour. There’s some crazy dares, and a few of the girls pick truths and they have to say who they’d sleep with or where they want to have sex. I opt out of the game and just watch them make idiots of themselves. Daniel gets to go streaking down the street and yell inappropriate shit. Good for him. It does remind me of Old School, a tiny bit.
That’s when I decide to have my cigarette in the garage-game room.
Jake bums another cigarette. “Sorry you had to do that shit.”
“I shouldn’t have picked dare. But whatever.”
“This is why I don’t bring Monica around this. She’s too much of a nice girl, not crazy like the other guys’ girlfriends.”
“That’s because she’s not a cheerleader. She’s really sweet though, a good match for you. Don’t trade her in for one of those.” I indicate to the living room. I should take my own advice.
We join the rest in the living room again; I get another beer and sit back down.
“Okay, we’re done with Truth or Dare. Now we’ll play, Who’s Hot or Not.” Daniel tells us, as if he’s in charge of what we do.
Amber says to the girls. “James Carson.”
“Hot.” They mostly say, the guys disagree. Me personally, I don’t address whether or not guys are hot. But for some reason when a girl comments on whether another girl is hot, it doesn’t seem wrong. I don’t get it. Of course, some guys like the girl on girl concept. Me, I’m indifferent.
James says. “Kendall McGrady.”
“Hot.” Both Jake and Daniel say, I agree.
“Dana Adams.”
“Not.” I say. Her nose is too big for her face.
“Skylar McKenzie.” I tense at the mention of her name and my nerves run amuck.
Amber snorts in disgust. “Ugh, so not hot. She’s like the biggest nerd in school, seriously.” I shoot her an annoyed glare. “I tripped her the other day at lunch. It was great.” Everyone laughs, but me. And Jake.
“I think she’s hot, actually.” Daniel says. He looks at me. “What about you Jackson?”
I raise my brow in question. “What about me?”
“What do you think? Hot or not?”
“I don’t know, I never thought about her that way before.” Shut the fuck up, asshole!
Amber laughs. “Oh please, Jackson doesn’t like being within two feet of her if he can help it.”
Daniel interrupts her mid-laugh. “It didn’t look that way to me,” he tosses me a smirk, “The other day.”
I tilt my head sideways. “What the fuck are you talking about?” Now I’m starting to get pissed at this macho-asshole. I’m ready to throw gloves on and show him he’s stepping on the wrong toes.
“I’m just saying I saw you run into her, and I was laughing when all her shit went to the floor. I thought you were going to yell at her or something. But then I saw you talking to her, all friendly, or so it seemed. It looked really friendly.”
Amber speaks up, “Actually, he did help her after I tripped her and then he yelled at me.”
&nbs
p; I stand up, done with this night. “Amber? Fuck you. You’re a total bitch and I’m seriously done with you.” I ignore her pout and after a look of disgust, I throw my beer away. “I’m leaving, this party sucks. Sorry, Jake.”
He follows me to the door. “Oh I agree, I’d leave too if this wasn’t my house. Drive safe, man.” He pats my back.
I tell Amber, “Find your own ride home.” I slam the door, happy to be done with that.
At home, I blow some shit up on Xbox to calm down. I hadn’t taken my phone out to check any messages, but I doubt I’d hear from her anyway.
I stalk outside for a smoke break and sit on the porch swing. Just as I’m feeling calmer, the door opens.
I stay quiet as Skylar comes outside. She doesn’t see me right away. “Hey.” I say softly.
She moves a little closer, the light showing the outline of her face, she finally sees me. “Hey. When did you start smoking?” She asks in surprise.
I shrug. “When I turned sixteen.” I pat the space next to me. “Come sit with me.” She does. “What are you doing here?”
The swing shifts beneath our weight. “Your brother was helping me with calculus.” Yeah, that makes sense. He’s good with math, which is why he went into banking.
I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and when I check it, I’m not surprised it’s Amber. I shove it back inside, ignoring the text and continue to swing. Sitting out here with Skylar feels really nice, reminding me of all the times we talked on this swing; talked about my mom, her dad, everything under the sun, except my feelings. Or we’d just sit here quietly and get lost in our own thoughts. But it was a comfortable silence, and her company meant more to me than she’d ever understand.
She notices the tension coming off of me and asks, “Are you okay?”
I lay my head on the back of the swing, blowing smoke away from her. “I don’t know. I wanna talk about it, more than anything. I’m just not ready to yet.”
She pulls her legs up, sitting sideways facing me. “Well, whatever is going on, you can always talk to me. When you’re ready, that is.”
I smile, really looking at her for the first time in too long. “Thanks Sky. You were always the one I could count on.” Our hands sit flat on the swing, so close I could just move my finger an inch and touch her skin.
I quickly dismiss that thought and enjoy this moment.
Chapter 11
Skylar
Jared was right; his father was able to get me into his office, two days later. Not that I doubted him. But it seemed this week was a calmer, less busy week at Dr. Cruz’s office.
I step inside fifteen minutes before my appointment. “May I help you?” The receptionist asks, looking up from her desk.
I smile and sign in. “Yes, I’m here for my appointment at 4:30.” I put the pen down. “I’ll just sit and wait.”
She smiles back at me. “Dr. Cruz will be right with you.” I sit in a chair and pick up a magazine to kill some time. Jared also helped me with my Calculus, though I still feel stupid and know nothing, I was able to score an 85 on my test. I’ll take even a 70, as long as I pass the class. Why can’t I be good at math like him?
“Skylar?” My name is called and I lay the magazine back down and follow the nice girl to the room. “So it’s been a year, since you’ve had a cleaning I see.”
I nod, embarrassed, hoping I don’t have any cavities. But I know I have always kept up with my teeth, obsessed is more like it. I hate when my mouth feels dirty or my teeth look discolored. I floss every day and use mouthwash. I don’t smoke or drink, well not counting the times I drank alcohol with Jackson, but that was ages ago. I guess most would say I’m a goody goody. I’d prefer to call myself focused, trying to get through my high school stage, prepped for the real world. If high school is even half the glimpse of the real world, I’m not sure I’m ready.
I look up and smile at the handsome doctor of gums. “Hello Skylar. I’m glad to see you back here.” Paul Cruz, the man who half-created two boys I really care about, hugs me.
He’s handsome, a mix of both his sons. His hair has grayed over the years, but it doesn’t show too bad with his dark hair hiding it, he’s still very good-looking. He’s tall, probably six foot, or six foot one. His build is masculine, broad and I can see where the boys each have a certain feature of his, with dark eye brows and almost gray colored eyes. He’s a looker for sure, giving me a distinct vision of what both Jared and Jackson will look like at his age. They’ll be turning heads, that’s for sure.
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve been good about brushing and flossing, so I’m not too worried about having any teeth pulled.” I shudder at the thought.
He pats the seat, “Let’s take a look, shall we?” I sit, leaning my head back as he turns on the light above and shines it in my face. I squint, trying not to be bothered by it. “So, how’ve you been Skylar?”
“Good, you know, just trying to get through my last year of high school, and get ready for my future.” He pokes and prods my mouth, and I try not to talk a lot.
“Any plans for after high school?” He pauses, “You still going to Europe with your mother?”
“Yep, after graduation. And possibly moving to New York and go to art school.”
I swallow as he begins the cleaning process, which I always found uncomfortable. My eyes close, but it doesn’t shut out the sound of the stuff going on in my mouth. His little tool hits a nerve and I flinch. “Sorry, I almost dropped this damn thing. Did I hurt you?” I shake my head. He continues. “So, New York, huh? Does your mom know all this?”
I produce a nod, since he’s got my mouth occupied and manage a tiny noise in the back of my throat to confirm. I brace the seat, tightly holding onto the arm rests. His assistant squirts water in my mouth while he does more prodding, followed by flavored fluoride. God, this is so uncomfortable, but at least it doesn’t taste too bad. I sit as still as I can so he can finish as quickly as possible. I learned over the years that the more I squirm and whine, the longer I have to endure such discomfort. Luckily, I never had to get braces; I wouldn’t have been able to handle that on my teeth. Retainer, maybe. But braces? Hell no.
I sit there a little longer, before he turns off his tools. He checks my gums a little more and removes a glove. “Your teeth look good. I see you keep up with them.”
I sit up and rub my front teeth. “Yep, I’m not one to have bad dental hygiene.”
“How’s your mother doing? I haven’t seen her much the last year or so.”
“Well, she’s pretty much keeping herself busy. She just works and comes home and works some more.”
He rubs his face, from an itch or something. “I’m sure it’s hard for her. She needs to get out though.”
I pop my jaw in place. “Can I ask you something?” He nods his head and I continue, “Do you ever think about dating?”
He looks thoughtful before he says, “Well, I can’t say I haven’t thought about it. I’ve gone on a couple dates in the last few years. But I’m just too busy right now. I guess I haven’t really considered it too much.” It must be hard as a single father, raising two boys. At least my mother only had me to worry about, and not had to deal with sibling rivalry, plus I always hung out with Jackson and Jared so I wasn’t too difficult as a child.
I casually say, “I think my mom is avoiding the dating scene. I wish she’d get out and meet people.”
“I know you want her to be happy. But maybe she’s happy doing what she’s doing right now. Maybe once you’re done with high school, she’ll feel more ready to date.”
I smile, hoping he’s right. “Are you?” I always wonder if he thinks about my mom the way I think about Jackson. They were best friends and it’d be interesting if they got together. He’s a great man, he’d be perfect for her.
“That’s a loaded question, but there are times I wonder if I’ll ever meet someone that makes me happy.”
“Can I ask you another question?”
He raises his brow,
“You sure are inquisitive aren’t you?”
“Yeah, sorry. I’m just wondering, and if you don’t want to answer, feel free to tell me to shut up.” He laughs, but waves me on, “So, what happened between you and my mom? Why did y’all break up?”
He fiddles with his tools, probably for a distraction. I suddenly feel like I’m stepping on unchartered territory. “Skylar, there are things that are sometimes beyond our comprehension. I cared about your mother; she was easy to be around when life was getting rough. My childhood wasn’t the best, so when we met in high school, she helped me through some tough times. But old habits are hard to break and I got involved in the wrong crowd, drugs and all that nonsense that kids your age tend to gravitate toward,” He gives me a stern looks, “Which I hope you don’t ever mess with. Anyhow, I lost her then, being a stupid boy that I was. We dated again in college, or tried to. I just wasn’t the best man for her. Your dad, he was ideal. He really complimented her; together they were a great pair. And yeah, there may have been some jealousy there, but I never hated him. He was like a brother to me, we got close. It was a shock when he died, and I felt like I lost a good friend.”
I sit quietly, taking in everything he just told me, trying to make sense of it all. I can hear the pain in his voice, the regret and remorse from the decisions he made as a kid my age. “Wow, that was-“
“Sorry, I didn’t realize how much I spilled. I know I unloaded quite a bit on you.” He moves away, running his hand through his hair. “Look, I love the relationship you have with my boys. You’re a great girl, a lot like your mother. I just hope they treat you with respect. I’ve noticed Jackson getting a little pissy with Jared and I don’t know what’s going on, he won’t talk to me.” I refrain from telling him it’s probably his stupid girlfriend. “But I hope whatever it is, he doesn’t have to deal with it alone. I know losing his mother was hard on him.”
I look up and nod, “I’ll make sure he doesn’t deal with it alone. I’ll get him to talk to me.” A smile comes to my lips, remembering our small moment on the swing. Whatever that was, it felt good.
Torn (Torn Heart) Page 7