I get off the seat, realizing we’re probably running into someone else’s appointment time. He turns to walk out of the room, but stops, as if he wants to say something. “Why don’t you and your mother come over for dinner this week? We can have a nice home cooked meal. And that way, she and I can catch up. What do you say?”
I hop off the chair. “I think she’d like that. I’ll talk it over with her and let you know. Thank you, Paul. I’m guessing, no cavities?”
“No cavities. Oh wait,” He leaves the room for a minute and I smile in satisfaction of my dental appointment. Thank goodness, my teeth are in good shape. “Here you go.” He comes back and hands me a bag, with floss, a toothbrush and toothpaste inside. I feel like a kid again, after getting a balloon or lollipop from my being a good girl at my doctor’s appointment.
“Thanks. See you in six months.” I smile and he winks. “Okay, I’ll see you sooner than that.” I make my six month check-up appointment before I skip out of the office, my mouth feeling fresh and clean.
Wasn’t there a song about being fresh and clean? I shake my head, and get in my car in a happy mood. Talking to Paul felt nice, even though I felt like I was prying, I was just genuinely curious why he and my mom didn’t stay together. But then, I smile, grateful that he didn’t or I wouldn’t be here. Or actually, Jared and Jackson wouldn’t be here. As much as I blame their mother for leaving them in a lurch, with no motherly guidance and adult, I feel that they’ve grown into great guys.
I walk through the door. “Oh hello, dear. How was your appointment? Still cavity-free?” My mother greets me in the living room.
I set the bag on the table. “You know it. Paul invited us over for dinner this week. How about tomorrow?”
She walks into the kitchen cutting up some vegetables. “Really?” I wash my hands and help her. “What do you think?”
I nod enthusiastically. “I think it’s a great idea. It’ll give you two a chance to catch up.” I grab my phone to text Jared. “So?”
“Alright, I’m up for it. Today is Tuesday, so Thursday sounds good. I don’t have to go into work until ten that night.” It gets hard at times because most of the time my mom works nights, at the clinic. She’s a registered nurse and though she doesn’t get dibs on her hours, she can rearrange her shift with someone if need be. But I try not to let it bother me, being left alone. She’s tried looking for a job at another clinic or hospital with better hours, but she hasn’t had any luck.
Me: Hey tell, your dad we’ll be there for dinner on Thursday.
He responds right away.
Jared: Awesome. See you then. How was your dentist appointment?
Me: No cavity, your dad is the best dentist around.
Jared: Don’t tell him that, he’ll let it go to his head. I’m glad it went well. Talk soon
I go to my room to finish my homework before dinner is ready. I’m in a happier mood than normal which is good. I make a note to paint later, something that makes me smile. I like to paint not only when I’m mad or sad, but happy too. It helps me remember that life isn’t always gray or hazy. There are too many colors that describe a person’s life.
My mother calls from down stairs. “Skylar?”
“Yes?” I yell back.
“Invite Randa over for dinner if you want.” I don’t argue and dial her number right away.
She answers. “Hey, what’s up my awesome best friend?”
“Hey you, wanna have dinner at my house tonight?” I ask, eyeing the thing sitting on my bed.
“Be there in a few.” I smile and hang up, knowing exactly what she’d say; she can’t turn down my mother’s cooking. I set my phone down on my desk and walk over to my bed, picking up the photo of Jackson and me at the beach, it takes me back to two kids, five and six years old, innocent and close as ever. It’s a memory I’ll never forget, and hopefully I’ll remind him of our happy times.
Chapter 12
Skylar
At school the next day, I find myself getting my work done with no distractions. No one bothers me or tries to make my life hell, meaning I don’t see Amber much. I’m sure it won’t last long. But I savor it the best I can.
Randa stands with me at our lockers. “Okay, so how do you feel about going to the beach this coming weekend?”
I grab my Calculus book and shut my locker. “I suppose that would be fun. Who doesn’t love the beach?”
She hesitates for a minute, but then asks, “Have you seen Jackson?”
I give her a quizzical look, “Not since the weekend, why?”
“You saw him over the weekend?” I nod, but don’t elaborate. It was a private moment and I don’t wanna spoil it. “Well, apparently he got into a fight today with one of his teammates. It looked pretty intense.”
I sigh, having an idea what it was about but I decide to ask him myself when I see him. We part ways to our class and when I round the corner, I stop short of Amber.
I knew she wouldn’t stay away for long.
I try to move around her but she steps in my way. “Excuse me.” I suddenly feel closed in, trapped.
She narrows her eyes, her mouth in a thin line. “You know Jackson will never see you as anything but a loser, right?” Her eyes show anger, I step back, trying to control my temper. I don’t fight but maybe there is a first time for everything.
“I’m wondering what he sees in you.” I spat back.
She sneers. “A lot more than you have to offer.” Why is she so threatened by me, anyway? I almost laugh, but looking at her, I think better of it.
I start to walk away, “Look, I don’t know why you’re so obsessed with making my life hell, but you’re wasting your time.” I can hear her footsteps on my heels.
“Hey!” She shouts from behind me. “I wasn’t finished yet.” She starts pointing her finger at me as she says, “If you ever bother him or try to get in my way-“
I push her hand out of my face, “Don’t threaten me, Amber.” Before I can finish my thought, she pushes me back against the locker, hard. Pain shoots up my spine and my adrenaline kicks in, I’m pissed. I grab a handful of her hair and yank; she shrieks and attempts to punch my face but is quickly pulled off of me. I can’t hear the commotion, but get a glimpse of Jackson’s enraged expression.
One of the teachers walks by and notices our altercation. “What is going on?”
I look to Jackson, who’s glaring at Amber.
The teacher points, firmly. “Get to class, all of you, before I escort you to the office.” I straighten myself and grab my stuff.
Jackson whirls on Amber, with narrowed eyes. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Nothing. I was just teaching her,” She crosses her arms and nods to me, “a lesson. She pulled my hair.”
I fume. “You pushed me into the locker.” I know I sound like a child tattling, but I don’t care. I didn’t deserve to be bombarded by some snobby cheerleader because she thinks she’s better than everyone else. Or just me. That’s when I almost bring up her and Daniel, at the restaurant together. Almost.
“Well, I wanted to show you what happens when you get in my way.”
Jackson picks up one of my books I hadn’t retrieved from the floor yet. “I’m sorry.” He says, handing it to me.
“What the fuck, really? Why are you helping her?” Amber’s face contorts into an ugly pig face. She doesn’t like the fact that he’s being nice to me; she doesn’t know about the other few times of us talking, either. I hide a secretive smile.
“Do you have a thing for her, Jackson?” She asks. He doesn’t answer.
I’m almost late for class, I realize. I ignore her stone-cold dagger stare and walk away, feeling satisfied but rushed. My back still stings a little but I ignore it.
Jackson rushes to my side, “Sky, wait.” I glance his way. “What happened?”
I stop and look at him seriously. “Why did you get into a fight today?” I blurt, ignoring his question.
He does the head tilt, t
rying to figure me out. “Who told you that?” But then he shakes his head, “Look, it doesn’t matter. I’m sick of the bullshit Daniel is throwing at me, he’s such a dick.” I can feel my face flush with the intensity of his stare. His eyes, God, his eyes are mesmerizing. I look away. “I’m sorry to put you through this. Amber’s a jealous brat. And she’s another problem that I’m sick of dealing with.”
We start walking again. “So don’t. You don’t have to put up with that. She doesn’t own you.”
He cracks a small smile, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I agree. So,” He begins, his hair falling into his face. I have to fight the urge to push it away. “Do you wanna come over after school?”
My hands start to sweat but it’s worth it. “You’re asking me to come over?” He wants to hang out with me? I play it off cool.
He laughs, “Yeah.” We’ve stopped walking; he leans back against the lockers, bending his knee, resting his foot against the metal behind him. “We need to talk. I need to say some things, so I’d love for you to come over.”
My heart races. People walk by gawking at us, but he doesn’t seem to notice. It’s like I’m getting more and more glimpses of the old Jackson coming back and it makes me hopeful. “Well, we’re having dinner at your house tomorrow night. But I think I could take time out of my busy schedule for you tonight,” I tease. And a breath escapes me as he reaches out, tucking hair behind my ear, but his hand lingers a little longer before he drops it to his side. His scent enveloping me; I breathe in. I don’t know if he realizes what he was doing, but holy crap, his proximity is taking the air from my lungs. I feel some crazy vibe between us and it’s intense. My hands are shaking, so I find something to do with them. I force a smile and say, “I’ll text you later.” I walk away in a daze. What was that?
My mother frowns after I tell her about Amber. “Seriously Sky, a fight? I thought I raised you better than that.”
“You did, mom, but she was asking for it. I was good up until she decided to threaten me for the last time. I can’t sit there and take it anymore, I had to fight back. I had to show her I wasn’t afraid of her.”
The rest of the day went by okay; I ate lunch in the library though, mostly to study in peace. Randa and Ian joined me for company. She said she was lucky she wasn’t there when the cat fight went down, or she would’ve broken Amber’s nose, causing her to have detention. I was glad she wasn’t there. No one should have to get detention at my expense. I told Randa about the weirdness between Jackson and me, and she thinks there are feelings there that neither of us are fessing up to. Although, she knows my feelings so it’s mostly Jackson she’s talking about. We have a connection, more than just friendly. I may agree with her, but I’d hate to get my hopes up.
“Well, I’m glad it was broken up before it got too out of hand. Girls like that are just mean, I’m sorry she wastes her time making your life miserable.” I help her with dinner, and set the table.
I set the silverware out and turn to look at her. “Hey, mom, do you believe people can change?”
She thinks about it for a minute, considering her answer and then smiles. “I think it depends. On the one hand, yes, I think it’s possible a person can change. But for one thing, they have to see their flaws, their mistakes, and make a serious attempt not to repeat them. Change can be really hard; especially if it’s something you’ve been doing all your life, you can’t just stop doing it. It takes time, motivation and drive. But change is good, it’s growth. And everyone needs growth to live.”
She lightly pats my cheek. And we sit and eat meatloaf. My mom makes the best meatloaf, by the way.
I glance at my mother, who seems to be lost in her own thoughts. I eat seconds, and butter some bread. “So, I think Jackson is finally realizing what a bitch his girlfriend is.”
She takes a sip of her water. “Really? Well, it’s about time.” She picks up her fork, “I told you he’d come around.”
“It’s weird; we’ve had a few moments the last week and it’s like the old Jackson is starting to make his comeback.” I stare at my food. “Randa thinks we have a connection.”
She licks her lips clean, “You’ve always had a connection baby. But I’m glad he’s starting to come out of his shell.” She touches my face, in her motherly fashion. She always makes me feel better.
We finish our dinner in silence. And after we clean up and wash the dishes, I text Jackson. He suggests meeting at the park.
When I get there, he’s sitting on the merry-go-round. I join him in silence. He appears confused. He smiles up at me and I smile back.
“They need to redo this place.” He speaks of the playground we grew up in.
I look around, wondering why they should. It’s still in good shape, besides being old; it’s still safe for kids. “They just need a sandbox. I miss the old one.” I lay back and look up into the sky.
He laughs, “Oh, the good ‘ol sandbox.” He leans against the bars, watching me. “Lots of memories in that thing.” He gets off, “Did you recently eat?” I do my head tilt thing, confused. “I just mean, I was gonna push you and I don’t want you puking up your dinner.”
I make a face. “Gross, I’d prefer the word ‘vomit’, and I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
He starts pushing, slowly at first. “Tell me when to go faster.” I don’t say anything, so he keeps the slow pace. “Seriously? God, I used to spin this thing like a top. Come on.” He teases.
“Fine.” I’m still lying in the same spot, but the sky is going around and around, making me dizzy. I close my eyes. “Jump on,” I tell him but when I don’t get a response; I open one eye and find him studying me. He gives it one last push before finally jumping on. But he keeps his distance.
“Feeling dizzy yet?”
I shake my head, though it’s a lie but I don’t want it to stop moving. He stretches his long legs in front of him.
I can’t stand the long stretch of silence that passes, so I lean on my propped up elbow to look at him. “So what’s up?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.” He says casually. But he sees my expression and his face gets serious again. “I don’t really know. I guess I just needed someone to talk to. I can’t depend on Amber to listen without throwing out some sexual comment, or being completely immature.”
“Why are you even with her? You don’t seem very happy and she’s pretty controlling.”
His foot is only inches from mine, until he moves it closer rubbing it against mine. I watch our feet, mine bumping his and then shift my gaze back to his face. He looks at me curiously. It may be hot outside, but my cheeks just rose a hundred degrees. What is he doing to me?
Finally he pulls his foot back, sitting cross-legged. “Honestly? I’m not sure anymore. I thought I liked the idea of popularity, dating a cheerleader and being on top. But to be honest, it sucks.” His finger runs the length of my shoe, as he talks. “I’m tired of being what people expect me to be. Most of all, her.”
I just nod, agreeing with everything he says, trying to push aside the tingly feeling in my chest.
“I...I” He seems to be struggling with his words, it’s bizarre to see him like this. I couldn’t picture Jackson being nervous about anything. He swallows and tries again. “I think I just need to get away from the scene. I’m not even sure if I want to continue football this year.” He catches my look of surprise. “I know, it’s strange. But things are starting off different this year. Maybe it’s time for a change.” He looks thoughtful.
I nod. “Change is good. It helps us grow; we need change.” Then I add, “My mother always told me that.”
“Your mom is a wise woman.”
We sit in silence, staring at each other. I can feel that vibe again, and it’s pretty strong. I hear Jackson take a quiet breath before his voice breaks through my scattered thoughts. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”
I’m not afraid to tell him how I feel. I’m only afraid he’ll reject me and there’ll forever be this wall be
tween us, never making our friendship what it used to be. But I take the plunge; take one for the team, because I’m pretty confident, certain, that he feels it too.
I sit up, mirroring his position, our knees touching. “I’m thinking, for once, I’m not afraid.” I wait, while his eyes scan my face, as if he’s memorizing every line, curve or imperfection. “Of being honest, I mean.” I lean into him, “And honestly, I don’t know why things are changing between us, but I can feel it.”
He swallows, his face pinched in seriousness. “Wow, that’s deep.”
I nod, “You asked what I was thinking, so there you go.”
“What else are you thinking?”
I keep my shaking hands in my lap, “I’m thinking that I really wanna kiss you right now.” His eyebrows rise in surprise. “But I won’t. Not now.”
“Why not?” He stares at my lips, before his eyes travel back to mine.
“For one thing, you have a girlfriend, who I can’t stand by the way.” I get up and jump off the merry-go-round. “And for another,” I walk backwards; his eyes follow me the whole way. “I really wanna swing.” I sit down, grab the chains and push myself.
He laughs, finally getting off, walking toward me. He takes hold of the chains and leans down close to my ear when it comes to a stop, “Wanna know what I’m thinking?” I nod, unable to find my voice. He lightly brushes my bangs from my face. “I’m thinking how stupid I’ve been for not listening to my heart, for not leaving Amber sooner.” His breath is warm on my face and I inhale, letting it wrap around my heart. “I’ve been an idiot, Sky. And I need to quit dicking around.” He backs away and starts to pace, running his hands wildly through his hair. It’s a sexy look on him; it’s also disconcerting to see him so flustered. But then again, maybe it’s good for him to show this side. To show me he’s capable of showing emotions. I know he’s always had them, but keeping them hidden is stupid.
I climb off the swing and rush to his side. “What’s wrong?”
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