Taking a Knee

by Sean Ashcroft

  “He sounds cool. I would have liked to meet him.”

  “He would have liked you.” Noah sighed. “I’m sorry you got the parent who doesn’t.”

  “Between you and me, I don’t care whether or not your mom likes me. I care whether you like me, but I get the impression that you don’t really care whether or not your mom likes me, either.”

  “I do not. I actually like you a little more because she doesn’t.” Noah laughed softly. “You give amazing hugs. Can we be people who hug now? More regularly, I mean.”

  “I like hugs,” Jace said. “I could definitely go for more hugs.”

  “Cool.” Noah yawned. “You’re gonna make someone so happy one day. I mean, you make me happy right now, but… you know what I mean.”

  “I know what you mean,” Jace said. “Thanks. And I’m happy I make you happy.”

  Noah wanted to tell Jace how much he meant that, but Jace didn’t need the burden of knowing his best friend was pining after him. It was better to be friends. There was no point in pushing the issue, even if he was feeling pathetically needy right now.

  “For what it’s worth,” Jace spoke up after a few moments of silence. “I’m proud of you.”

  Noah swallowed past a baseball-sized lump in his throat. “I’m proud of you, too,” he said. “And I really don’t care what my mom thinks. I am so proud of being married to you. I kinda wish it was real.”

  Noah wished he could take the words back as soon as they escaped him. Jace would take it as a joke, hopefully, but for a few tense moments, Noah believed his world was about to fall down around him. What if Jace realized how serious he was? What if he couldn’t handle that and left in the middle of the night and Noah had to face his mother in the morning alone?

  “Yeah,” Jace said after a handful of heart-wrenching seconds. “Me too.”

  It took Noah several minutes to process that, lying in the dark with his head against Jace’s shoulder, their legs intertwined and the sound of their breathing the only thing punctuating the silence.

  This was, as far as he was concerned, bliss.

  Maybe Jace could feel that, too. It was only a small glimmer of hope, but it was one Noah could cling to with all of his strength. Jace, maybe, liked the idea of them really being together.

  They could explore that once they got rid of Noah’s mom. It was definitely something they needed to talk out, poke at, decide on the size and shape of.

  For the moment, Noah could sleep with a smile on his face, knowing that things were looking up.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Jace would never have said so to Noah, but he was glad that game time was approaching so quickly so that he could escape Noah’s mom for an hour or so. Carolyn was a pain in the ass every single second he was near her, and he was starting to think it was deliberate. He’d never been so annoyed by another human being.

  Thankfully, she only picked on Baltimore while they were driving to the stadium. Jace could handle that. He wasn’t from here, originally, so his attachment to it was mostly that it had become his home. It was important to him, but not as important as Noah was.

  If she went back to picking on Noah instead, Jace wasn’t sure he’d be able to stop himself from saying something. Noah had asked him not to, and he intended to honor that, but Carolyn was testing him.

  “It’s not much of a stadium, is it?” she asked as they walked inside. Jace twitched, but said nothing.

  “Roller derby is in its early phases. There aren’t really dedicated stadiums yet. This is a community stadium for a lot of sports. It also runs youth programs,” Noah responded.

  “Is that your team?” Carolyn nodded to where the rest of the team was gathered by the bench, still in their street clothes.

  “That’s them,” Jace said enthusiastically. He waved at Brian, who he knew would grill him later about whether he’d said anything to Noah yet.

  He had, in a way. Noah had said he kind of wished their marriage was real, and Jace had managed to summon the courage to agree. It felt like progress. He’d woken up with Noah still curled around him, and he was more sure than ever that it was what he wanted.

  The right moment hadn’t come up yet, but it would. He knew it would.

  “They don’t really look like athletes, do they?”

  Jace took a deep breath and let it out as slowly as possible so Carolyn wouldn’t notice.

  “They’re very good at what they do,” Noah said.

  “I just think you could do better than all this. You had so much talent when you were younger, and now you’re wasting it on this amateur crap when you could have been an international athlete. You’ve thrown away everything I did for you.”

  “Are you serious?” Jace said. He knew Noah was going to kill him for this, but he was done. No one got to bully Noah, not even his mother.

  Carolyn turned to look at him, her glare withering. Jace wasn’t about to back down now, though. He didn’t back down from surgeons, hospital administrators, or overbearing parents at work, and he wasn’t going to keep watching Noah’s mother belittle him.

  “You have been giving Noah crap since the moment he got here, and I’m not gonna let you get away with it anymore. He’s your son, and you can’t be happy with even one of his achievements. I don’t give a shit whether or not you like me, but don’t you dare talk to him like that. He’s happy here. He stayed here because it makes him happy. What the hell kind of parent wouldn’t want that for their kid? What kind of parent would come all this way just to bully their son?”

  “You can’t say that to me,” Carolyn said, horror on her face.

  “Yeah? Stop me.” Jace spread his arms, offering her a free shot—verbal or physical—if she wanted to take it.

  “You only married him because…” she paused, obviously struggling to think of a reason. “Because…”

  “Because...?” Jace prodded. “Because I love him. But you can’t believe that, can you? You can’t see how anyone could love him because to you, he’s just a disappointment. Ungrateful because he didn’t become exactly the person you wanted him to. Well, I got news for you. Those guys over there? They love him. We all love him.” Jace looked over at Noah, swallowing.

  This was the moment. This was the moment where he had to tell Noah how he felt, right here. He couldn’t hold off any longer. “And when I look at him, I see everything I want in my life. I see my present and my future, I see the person I want to come home to every single day, the person I want to curl up on the sofa with. I know why you’re here. Someone told you that Noah married me for his green card, and you wanted to come see him failing at marriage like you think he’s failed at everything else. Well, too bad. This is the real thing, and that’s my husband, and you don’t get to talk to him like he’s anything less than perfect. Not while I’m around.”

  Jace’s heart was hammering in his chest. Not only had he just told Noah’s mother off, in public, but he’d also poured all his feelings out for everyone to see.

  No one else was making a sound. He’d stunned Carolyn into silence, and he wasn’t sure what to do or say next.

  To his surprise, he felt someone touch his hand. He glanced over to see Noah taking it, linking their fingers together, smiling a small, hard-won smile up at him.

  Noah wasn’t rejecting him.

  That was all the encouragement Jace needed.

  “Go sit in the bleachers and try to pretend you’re capable of being happy for your own son for once in your entire life,” Jace instructed, pointing to their team’s side of the stadium. “And if I don’t hear you cheering your goddamn lungs out, you can find somewhere else to sleep tonight.”

  Noah squeezed his hand. Jace looked down and smiled a tiny smile, more thrilled than words could express that Noah was here, beside him. Everything was going to be okay. Noah wasn’t running in disgust. The sexuality police hadn’t burst through the door to arrest him. The sky wasn’t falling.

  “I love you, too,” Noah said softly.

&nb
sp; Jace felt as though his heart might burst out of his chest.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t say something earlier,” Jace murmured, just loud enough for Noah to hear. “But I really want this to work out. And it turns out I’m not as straight as I thought I was.”

  Noah chuckled. “So you won gay chicken after all.”

  “Well, not yet,” Jace wet his lips. “I was hoping to win after the game, though.”

  “I think that can be arranged.” Noah tugged him toward the rest of the team. “Come on. We’ve gotta win this game, first.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Noah had a personal policy of not looking at the scoreboard before the last jam of the game, so he wouldn’t let himself get caught up in the idea that he needed a certain number of points. He forced himself to score as many as possible, pushing his body until his muscles burned and his head was spinning right up until the final siren blared.

  A cheer went up in the stadium the moment the game ended, though Noah wasn’t sure who it was for until he turned around.

  They’d won. They’d won by more than enough to make them contenders for the national championships next year. Noah laughed, looking around at his teammates celebrating. Before he could react, Jace picked him up by the waist, twirling him around in a circle and then holding him close.

  “We did it,” Jace said. “You did it,” he added, grinning broadly.

  “We did it,” Noah corrected. “All of us. I didn't do any of this on my own.”

  “Yeah, well,” Jace said. “We couldn't have done it without you. So I definitely didn't marry you for nothing.”

  Noah laughed again. “I remember you giving a speech about all the reasons you married me. I was very into that.”

  Jace finally put him down. Noah took a second to get his balance back, and then rolled toward the bench, where the rest of the team was already celebrating. They pulled Jace and Noah into the group hug they'd started.

  Noah resisted the urge to look to his mother as he took his gear off, too sore and sweaty to keep it on any longer. He didn't care what she thought. This was his victory, and he wasn't inclined to share it with her of all people. His team, sure. They deserved basically all of the credit. His mother had fought him every step of the way, and he wasn’t about to turn around and pretend that she’d had anything to do with this, or that he was glad she came.

  A half-second after he’d taken out his mouth guard, Jace turned Noah around by the shoulder, so they were facing each other. “I was waiting for that,” he said, and then leaned in.

  It took Noah’s brain a moment to catch up with what was happening, but he reached up at the last second to hold Jace’s face in place as their lips connected. Heat sparked deep in his belly, rising up slowly, making him tingle all over and blush as Jace kissed him, parting his lips just enough to make Noah want more. It was both the sweetest and most frustrating kiss Noah had ever been on the receiving end of.

  Way better than the one they’d shared when they got married. Noah mentally replaced that one with this as their first kiss. This was their first real kiss, and therefore the only one that counted.

  Noah sighed as Jace pulled away, finally becoming aware of the cheers and wolf-whistles from the crowd, and from both teams. He could feel himself blushing, and he couldn’t stop grinning up at Jace, even when his cheeks started to hurt.

  He loved Jace. Jace, apparently, loved him. Noah couldn’t have asked for a better outcome.

  “That felt amazing,” Noah said softly. “Can we have victory sex? Are you ready to do that?”

  “I could definitely be persuaded to try,” Jace said in a low whisper that made the back of Noah’s neck tingle. “Not in public, though.”

  Noah shook his head. “No way. You’re all mine, and I’m not sharing you with anyone.”

  “I can live with that.” Jace smiled. “I don’t really wanna share you, either.”

  “Everyone’s looking at us,” Noah said, becoming uncomfortably aware of being the center of attention all of a sudden. Or at least, being the center of attention for something other than his performance on the track, which he loved.

  “Let ‘em look,” Jace said. “I’m proud of you, like I said. I’m proud to be married to you. Also, this may come as a shock, but I don’t think I’m entirely straight.”

  Despite his embarrassment, Noah laughed. “You think? What clued you in?”

  “Well, it all started when I realized I didn’t want to live without my best friend, or his really great ass…” Jace looked down at the floor, smiling to himself. “And kinda escalated from there. I had some help from Dr. Love.”

  “Appropriate. Not why he calls himself that,” Noah pointed out. Brian wasn’t unaware of how attractive he was, but he was a nice enough guy that his cockiness didn’t detract from that attractiveness. Noah’s first clue that he was into Jace should have been that he was never really interested in Brian, who he would otherwise have been all over.

  Jace snorted. “I know. But he’s one of the good guys. I owe him like a million drinks for this.”

  “Maybe try to spread them out over time,” Noah said. “So he doesn’t die of alcohol poisoning before we make it to the nationals next year. We’ve still got a whole ‘nother season to get through, you know. If this marriage is going to fulfill its original purpose.”

  “I didn’t marry you to get to the nationals. That was just an excuse.” Jace wet his lips. “I mean, I didn’t know that then. I thought I was just unusually invested in winning for once. But I couldn’t face losing you.”

  “And now you won’t have to.” Noah reached out to take Jace’s hand.

  “I could get really used to you holding my hand,” Jace said, linking their fingers together.

  Noah beamed at him. “Good, because I’d like to hold your hand as often as possible.”

  Perhaps it was a cliché, but Noah felt like he’d won something way more important than a derby game. If there was such a thing. He was pretty sure Coach Williams—and most of the rest of the team—would disagree, but to him, knowing that he and Jace were going to be together was the best part of the day.

  Hopefully, it’d also be the best part of the night.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Noah’s mom had decided, after all, that she would stay somewhere else for the night, and Jace had been only too happy to drop her off at her hotel on the way home. Even Noah hadn’t bothered to object or say she was actually welcome to stay with them. She wasn’t, not until she apologized to Noah at the very minimum.

  Besides, this meant that he and Noah had the place to themselves. Now that he’d managed to come out to Noah and made his feelings clear, he was ready to get on with the fun part. His fingertips tingled with the need to touch Noah, start exploring his body, learn all the ways he could make him gasp or sigh or moan.

  Even as he unlocked the door to the apartment, Jace could feel tension beginning to grow low in his belly, his skin prickling with anticipation. Noah was quiet, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. Every now and again, on the ride home and while they’d been heading inside, Jace had seen him chewing on his lower lip.

  He was probably nervous. Jace was nervous, too, but his excitement far outweighed it. Noah was his best friend, so it wasn’t as though he was bringing home a stranger for this. They’d still be friends in the morning, regardless of what happened tonight.

  All the same, he wanted tonight to go well. He opened the door to the apartment and let Noah go ahead of him, shutting the door behind them once they were both inside.

  “It’s okay if you’re not ready to experiment,” Noah said, rubbing the back of his neck. “I get that this is new for you and I don’t ever want to push you into something you’re not comfortable with.”

  Jace took a step toward him. He’d been thinking plenty about this, about whether he’d be ready for it when the time came, and he was. He was completely ready for this moment. It was cute that Noah was looking out for him, though.

 
That was part of why he loved him. And it was love, Jace could see now. Nothing short of full-blown, fairytale, happily-ever-after love. He wanted Noah in his life, as his partner, forever. They’d worked so well together over the past couple of months that he couldn’t imagine giving this up for anything.

  Besides, it was just sex. Like Brian had said, Jace was a nurse. He was way past the point in his life where it was acceptable to be even a little weird about bodies.

  “Noah, I’m ready,” he said. “It’s fine.”

  Noah breathed a sigh of relief, his eyes lighting up. “Good. I was worried for a second there that I was talking myself out of getting laid.”

  Jace hesitated for a moment, but then leaned in to kiss Noah. Before he could stop himself, he was backing Noah up against the wall, pinning him in place. Noah made a soft, needy sound under him, and Jace realized just how easy this was going to be.

  Noah was gorgeous, from his pretty smile to his lean, solid body. Jace could get used to this. He could totally get used to this.

  By the time the kiss broke, Jace was painfully hard and panting for breath. Noah smirked up at him, moving his hand to the front of Jace’s jeans.

  “Hi there,” he drawled, eyes half-lidded and lips swollen. “Is that for me?”

  Jace licked his lips, nodding shyly. He was still coming to terms with the idea that Noah wanted him. Him. When he could have had anyone.

  Jace’s heart leapt into his mouth as Noah went to his knees between him and the wall. “I remember promising you unlimited blowjobs.”

  “You really don’t have to,” Jace said, cursing himself even as the words left his mouth. He didn’t want Noah to think he didn’t want this.

  “I want to.” Noah looked up at him. “It’s your first time. Gotta ease you into it.”