Masquerade Secrets

by Janelle Daniels

  It was as if the dress were magic, which she knew was ridiculous. But just the thought of a touch of magic in the garment had unlocked something within her. She had felt free. Free to be anything or anyone she wanted.

  It had felt... liberating.

  For one night she hadn’t worried about what people thought. She had just felt and experienced life.

  Touching her lips, feeling Bradford’s kiss again, she relished the sensations that flooded through her body. She hadn’t known it was possible to feel that way. Everything had settled in her stomach, aching and yearning to get closer to him. She had felt alive, breathless, and utterly beautiful. The combination had been too powerful to resist.

  Although she was innocent, she had known, on some primal level, that he desired her. She wasn’t ashamed to admit that she desired him as well.

  Frustrated, she pushed herself up from the bed and moved to ring for her maid.

  He hadn’t even recognized her. Why couldn’t they have shared that connection at any other party? He would have known her identity and wouldn’t have been held under an illusion that she was some sort of masquerade goddess.

  He was truly stunned when she had told him that they had danced so many times together that she couldn’t even count the number.

  What would he have said if she had told him who she was? He would be shocked, most likely scandalized. Here was the best friend of the woman he had wanted to marry. The woman in the mask, the woman he had kissed, was the same lady he had faithfully danced with to make his almost fiancée feel more comfortable.

  But what if he had been telling her the truth? What if he didn’t care who she was? Was it possible that their past wouldn’t matter to him?

  Her heart lurched with hope at the possibility. There had been something between them, something undeniable. Would those feelings be enough to suppress the scandal that would occur if he were to propose to her too quickly?

  She inhaled sharply, frustration marring her brow.

  When had she become so uncertain, so timid? It wasn’t like her to run away from something like this, and she didn’t like that she had. Why was she so afraid to take a chance on this? The duke was an honorable man, someone she had always admired. If he said that knowing her identity wouldn’t change his feelings for her, then she had to believe him.

  The band around her heart began to loosen. There was a chance for happiness with him. If what she had felt between them was just a taste of what they could share together, she would take the chance.

  Tomorrow. Tomorrow at the musicale she would hint at who she was. Surely after the kiss they shared he would recognize her. Wouldn’t he?

  The next morning went by quickly, at least it did for Aubrey. Her mother and sister seemed as if nothing of importance had happened beyond whom Charlotte had danced with.

  Her world had been turned upside down, but it continued on like normal for everyone else.

  “Are you sure you are well enough for tonight’s musicale, Aubrey? You looked quite unwell last evening.” Her mother looked her over slowly for any signs of sickness. However, in the new cream gown that had been delivered that morning, Aubrey knew she looked the epitome of health.

  “I shall be fine, mother.”

  The peacock feather attached to her mother’s hair wobbled as she nodded. “Very well, but I expect you to take it easy so that you do not relapse.”

  Seeing that her mother expected her agreement, she smiled reassuringly. “I will make every effort.”

  “Excellent.” Her mother looked to Charlotte to make sure she looked presentable. “Well, let us be off then. I suspect that we will be in the second half of the arrivals. Plenty of people to see us enter.”

  After taking her seat in the carriage, Aubrey looked out the window. She didn’t want her mother to think she was feeling unwell, but she was excited about tonight.

  Closing her eyes on a deep breath, she let her entire body relax. The tingles she had felt the previous evening were there again, but lighter. It was like they had never left, they were only different. Was that because she was no longer disguised? She would be Lady Aubrey again this evening, the wallflower that tended not to dance very often, the woman that attracted the attention of friendly matrons at parties rather than dashing suitors.

  Would he recognize her? The thought seemed to torment her.

  What would he say to her? Would he hold her hand? Seek a moment of privacy with her?

  There was no way to know how he would react. The only thing she did know was that she couldn’t wait to see the look in his eyes when he saw her. That look of desire, of hunger from the previous night, was more than she had ever dreamed of seeing, and she hoped to see it again.

  Remembering it, an answering knot of passion curled low in her belly. She had only been kissed once in her life, and that kiss had occurred last night. Her friend, Lady Sera, had been kissed a few times before her husband, and had described most of them as a sloppy, unpleasant pursing of lips. But she couldn’t use any of those negative words to describe what she had experienced while kissing Bradford. It had been heavenly, magical. Every part of her body had warmed, wanting to curl into him for more.

  A flush crested her cheeks. Would he kiss her tonight?

  “We’re here. Everything in place?” her mother asked, startling Aubrey out of her wanton thoughts. Nodding her answer, Aubrey was grateful that the movement seemed to clear her mind.

  Her mother led, knowing her two daughters would follow, up the front steps and into the house. Always efficient, the servants led them through the house with ease.

  With so many bodies crammed into the music room, Aubrey was grateful the fabric of her gown was so thin. She had only to walk through the doorway before she felt completely stifled. Still with her family, Aubrey nodded her greetings to a few acquaintances before scanning the room for him.

  Many people had begun taking their seats in preparation for the performance. It wasn’t often that the performer had true talent, but in this case, Lady Elinor had a fantastic talent for both singing and pianoforte.

  With every person she scanned, her heart began to drop, realizing Bradford wasn’t there. Could he be running late or would he not show up this evening?

  “Let’s take our seats,” her mother decided.

  Opening her fan, Aubrey made of point of fanning her face as she sat, hoping to hide her disappointment. Tonight wasn’t going exactly as she had planned, but there was still time for his arrival.

  A few moments after relaxing into her seat, the hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. He was here. He had to be.

  The room quieted a bit as he entered, the women fluttered their fans a touch faster to attract his attention, the men eyed him to see how they might get closer to him.

  None of that mattered to her. All that mattered was him. Her heart beating louder, she couldn’t help but watch him as he scanned the room, seeming to take everyone and everything in.

  Her breath caught in her lungs. He was looking for her. The realization slammed through her as her pulse raced.

  Would he recognize her as the woman from last night? He must. There had been such a pull between them. She was aware of him as she had never been with any other person.

  Still watching, she saw a man approach him, apparently asking him to join their party but was put off with a polite decline. Instead, he stayed against the wall, eyeing the growing crowd.

  His eyes began to wander toward her and her heart lurched. He would see her now. He would finally realize who she was. His eyes fell on her and she smiled, waving her greeting to him. She hoped he couldn’t tell how nervous she was.

  The smile froze on her face.

  After a quick nod in greeting, he continued to look through the rest of the crowd.

  Like ice, the smile slowly melted, her heart crashed in her chest. He didn’t recognize her. Had barely given her a look in passing. How could he not know? How could he not feel the overwhelming pull to her as she felt to him? />
  Turning away, she made a point to give her attention to the stage. She had been so sure that he would know her, but she had been very wrong. She knew who he was, knew how to find him. He had no clue how to do the same. It was unlikely he would guess that the woman he was so attracted to the night before was a well-known wallflower. She certainly hadn’t behaved as one last night.

  More people began to file into the rows of chairs, knowing the performance would soon start. With three extra seats beside hers, she knew she would have to converse with someone, but she did not look forward to the task.

  When picking her seat, she had hoped that Bradford would come to her, would want to sit next to her and chat quietly throughout the performance.

  What a fool she was.

  Glancing up, she saw Lady Victoria and her brother, Viscount Lawrence, enter the room, her nemesis’ brother grinning in genuine pleasure to see the duke. She was too far away from them to hear what was said when they approached Bradford, but she could tell that he was happy to see them.

  Forcing her gaze away, she focused all her attention on flicking a piece of lint off her dress, trying to conceal the disappointment she felt.

  He was the Duke of Wathersby, and she wasn’t a diamond of the first water. She had been right not to tell him her identity. It would have only ended up hurting her more.

  At least now she could keep her dignity. And her dreams.

  But they were a cold comfort.

  “Ladies and Gentlemen, the music will begin shortly. Please take your seats,” their hostess, the rather plump Lady Penfield, announced.

  Loud applause followed the lady’s request, and the remaining people standing moved toward their seats.

  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw three people moving into her row to fill the empty chairs.

  Her training would get her through this. It had to. She needed to be the perfect companion to whoever sat next to her. She couldn’t let her unhappiness interfere with her duty.

  Fixing a bright smile onto her face, she looked to her new companion, gasping as she stared into smiling hazel eyes.

  Bradford was sitting next to her, just as she had dreamed, but it was all wrong. She wanted to close her eyes and weep. He wasn’t sitting next to her because he wanted to be close to her, to whisper words of longing. He sat next to her because it had been convenient.

  The word convenient felt like a dagger twisting into her heart. Was that all her life would be?

  “Good evening, Your Grace,” she finally choked out.

  “Good evening, Lady Aubrey.” He smiled in politeness but quickly scanned the crowd again.

  Was he still looking for her? “Are you waiting for someone?”

  His attention jerked back to her. “No, indeed. I was only wondering if one of my friends was in attendance this evening.”

  “I have been here for some time. Who are you looking for? I might have seen him.”

  His brow wrinkled slightly, clearly trying to think of a name. “Viscount Gloucher.”

  “I don’t believe I have seen him this evening.” She scanned the crowd as well to make sure. In truth, she hadn’t noticed anyone’s arrival unless they had been directly involved with Bradford. “I hope there was nothing of importance you hoped to speak with him about.”

  He shook his head, quickly dismissing her concern. “Not at all. I just haven’t seen him in some time.”

  “I see.”

  Hearing voices on the other side of him, Aubrey leaned forward slightly and was annoyed to find Lady Victoria and her brother sitting in the remaining chairs. At least Viscount Lawrence was sitting directly next to Bradford and not his sister. If she had, any conversation with the duke would be impossible.

  Turning her attention back to Bradford, she determined not to give Lady Victoria any notice. “Are you fond of Lady Elinor? I heard she had a private concert for the Queen not long ago.”

  “Yes. Although I must admit I’m not usually a connoisseur of opera. As a soprano, I’ve never heard better.”

  “Nor I.”

  “So you enjoy the opera or only Lady Elinor?” he asked with a smile. His full attention was on her and she felt her stomach twist into a knot. Before last night, he had never been this attentive.

  “Lady Elinor is without equal. However, I do enjoy the opera on occasion. I can’t say I would wish to spend more than a night or two a month there, as my ears ring for days afterward.”

  He laughed in pure amusement. It was a full-bodied laugh, one that seemed to start from his toes and echo through his body. It was hard to remember when he had ever laughed so freely. “I confess, my ears also ring after such performances. It is enough to make me want to hide my head under a pillow for days.”

  A chuckle escaped from her lips before she even thought to stifle it. His body froze next to her, he quickly took in a breath. She paused, clearly realizing that she had misstepped. Was it possible that he remembered the sound of her laughter from last night?

  His eyes jerked to hers, looking at her as if he had never seen her before. Did he know? Could he possibly suspect that she was the masked woman?

  She swallowed heavily, bracing herself to act as if she didn’t know what was going through his mind. “Is something the matter, Your Grace?”

  His eyes narrowed a bit, analyzing her before turning away. “Nothing. You just reminded me of someone. It was startling. I apologize if I’ve made you uncomfortable.”

  “Not at all.” She paused. “I’ve often been told that I remind people of someone. Who did I remind you of, if I may ask?”

  He shook his head as if it weren’t important. “Just someone I happened to meet at the masquerade last night. Were you in attendance?”

  Tread lightly. “Yes. I was accompanied by my family. Rather lavish wasn’t it?”

  He smiled ruefully. “The stare of fashion.”

  “You thought it too much then?”

  “I understand the need for decoration at such events, but why people think dressing up as someone else will make them anonymous is beyond me.”

  Her eyebrow arched. “So you are confident that you knew everyone’s identity last evening? No one eluded you?” She couldn’t help but poke at him.

  A hitch formed between his brows. “Yes. All except one.”

  She laughed softly. She had expected him to deny it, and was pleasantly surprised that he admitted it. “That must have been frustrating.”

  “Yes.” He looked at her and seemed to want to say something more, but Lady Elinor had taken the stage. Silence enclosed the room, signaling the beginning of the concert.

  Aubrey took care to lean back into her chair, trying to look relaxed. Inside, she was anything but.

  For a moment she had thought he had recognized her. It wasn’t possible to change her laughter. However, after that brief moment, he seemed to discount that she could be the woman from last night. Her heart fell in her chest. Perhaps he would never see her as that woman.

  The masquerade woman didn’t exist. She would do well to remember that.

  ***

  As Lady Elinor took her stance in front of the audience, Bradford focused his attention on her. The shock of hearing Lady Aubrey’s laugh, sounding so much like his mysterious lady, had almost brought him to his knees. But after looking at her, he knew that Aubrey would never be outgoing enough to be the masquerade woman. They were too different. Aubrey was reserved, shy, the complete opposite from the passionate woman he had held in his arms last night.

  He wanted to curse the woman, whoever she was. Curse her for running away from him without telling him her name. He had never felt such a powerful connection with another person. A connection that promised that she was his other half. Nothing else mattered to him. Why couldn’t he have conveyed that to her? Why hadn’t he been able to stifle her doubts?

  Lady Victoria. The viper that sat a few chairs away from him had been the main reason. Her timing in finding him the previous night had been detrimental. He could have
sworn that the woman was about to reveal her identity, about to tell him who she was. But that interruption had cost him everything.

  That was the second time Lady Victoria had come between himself and the person that he wanted. Although, for the scandal she had caused Lady Sera, he silently thanked her. If she hadn’t, he would have never met the woman from the previous night. But in regards to her interruption, he couldn’t be grateful.

  “Excuse me,” Viscount Lawrence whispered before quietly exiting the room with a waiting servant.

  Lady Victoria scooted into the vacant seat next to his and he wanted to cringe. “I’m sorry about that. My brother tends to get secret messages at all hours of the day that take him from his duties.” She blinked her lashes slowly.

  He looked at her dispassionately. Outwardly, Lady Victoria was beautiful, but inside she was twisted and black. If she thought for even a moment that he would make an offer for her, she was out of her mind.

  “Yes. I am quite aware that your brother is a busy man. With all of his business ventures, I don’t doubt that he is called away at inconvenient times.” He had tried to force his distaste for her out of his voice, but a bit still seeped in.

  “Yes, well, it won’t deter us from enjoying the performance.” She sidled closer to him.

  What nerve. Unconsciously, he moved away from her, bumping into Lady Aubrey.

  “I beg your pardon,” he whispered into her ear before looking into her startled eyes. Beautiful eyes. Why had he never noticed before? Unable to help himself, he dared a glance down her body. Her lush breasts were teasingly covered by a scrap of lace that matched the trim of her bodice. The feminine frill moved over her curves, tapering down to her narrow waist. How had he missed that?

  Her breath sped up at his perusal. “It is not a problem, Your Grace. It is quite crowded in here.”

  He couldn’t stop staring at her ruby lips as she spoke. They called to him to taste her, to see if they were as tart as a red apple.

  What was the matter with him? He tore his gaze from her and focused his attention on the melodic voice that vibrated through the room. He was here looking for the woman from last night, the woman he had given a vow to. But here he was, ogling a lady he had known for many years and had never had any interest in romantically. The mystery of last night must be driving him mad. It must be making him see things in Lady Aubrey that he would have never noticed before.