Lessons of the Past

by Chloe Maxx

  I shivered, his hot breath blowing over my ear. “I…maybe. With you.”

  “Only me.” He gingerly slid my straps down, exposing my breasts. “So beautiful,” he rasped, caressing each hardened nipple. “Everything about you is beautiful. Gorgeous.”

  His fingers glided to my front clasp and unhooked it, my bra falling to the floor. We gazed at one another, love and lust filling the air between us. “I love you,” I whispered.

  His hands traveled down to my backside, drifting between skin and panties. A moan rushed from my throat. His touch was setting my body on fire.

  I reached for his chest then abs, letting my finger travel over each ridge of sculpted muscle. His skin was scorching hot and soft like silk. “You’re perfect,” I breathed.

  Javier’s response was to capture my lips with his, driving his tongue into my mouth. I opened freely for him, matching him with each move. I reached up and grabbed his hair, letting my fingers draw us closer together.

  He hooked his hands in the waistband of my panties and yanked them down, along with my pants. I stepped out of them and he tossed me on the bed. “Lay on your stomach,” he demanded, crawling on the bed.

  I swallowed, but did as he said, knowing I was safe and loved with him. I trusted him completely with my body. “Tonight,” he said, “I’m just going to make you feel good. Take my time with you.”

  “Mmm.”

  Javier settled over my upper thighs then began massaging my shoulders, the smell of coconut oil filling the air. His hands were strong and firm, yet gentle. It felt amazing. He let them drift down my back to my butt, then back up, over and over again, until I was completely relaxed.

  “Turn over,” he murmured in my ear. I did as he said and he climbed off the bed. Our gazes locked, and without taking his eyes off mine once, he let his jeans and underwear fall to the floor. His cock was fully erect, ready. Picking up one of my feet, he kissed the instep, then my ankle, all the way up to my knee. It felt so good. He lay it back on the bed before repeating the process with my other foot.

  Slowly, Javier placed one leg on the bed and began kissing my thighs, paying extra attention to the inside. His nose ran up my cleft, breathing me in. “You smell so good.”

  My hands gripped the sheets as his breath blew across my clit, the feeling pure bliss. His mouth continued to kiss upward, his scruff burning a path to each hip, my bellybutton, stomach, and finally, each breast. He took one nipple into his mouth and tugged while rolling the other between his fingers. My back arched and arousal shot through me, ready for him to be inside me.

  “I need you,” I breathed.

  “I need you, too, but first, I think that sweet pussy needs my mouth.” He licked his lips and kissed his way back down my body.

  “Ohh,” I cried as his tongue slid across my swollen clit. My body was on fire, and I knew it wouldn’t take much to set me off. His hands grabbed mine, linking them together as his tongue continued to assault me. I tried to let go of his hands, my fingers needing to latch on to something else—his hair, the sheets, I didn’t know. All I knew was I was losing my mind, and his mouth was the thing stealing it.

  With one final flick of his tongue, I closed my eyes and came with a cry. It was hard and quick and my body felt overheated. His mouth left me, but he made no further movements.

  Opening my eyes, my breath caught. He had his thick cock in his hands, stroking. Eyes blazing, his face was a picture of complete lust. “Is this what you want? You want my dick inside you?” He continued to stroke himself.

  I nodded and reached for him, the sight making me hotter. He batted me away and pushed my head back to the pillow. “No. I’m the one in control. The one giving you pleasure.” He smirked. “God, I’d love to tie you up. You’d look so fucking sexy.”

  “Okay,” I breathed.

  He quirked a brow, then left the room. He came back a minute later carrying the sash from my robe. He grinned and took my hands, binding them to the headboard. He moved to the end of the bed, his cock still fully erect. “You look gorgeous.”

  Javier lunged and was inside me in one swift motion, causing my head to fall back. He felt so wonderful. Incredible. He pulled out slowly, then entered just as slow. In that moment, with his eyes shining, looking into mine, I knew he wasn’t fucking me—he was making love to me.

  “So fucking beautiful,” he rasped, grinding into me.

  “So are you. Inside and out.”

  Javier’s lips captured mine, licking and sucking. My tongue snaked into his mouth, tasting him, loving him. His tongue tangled with mine and our mouths started making love in the same way our bodies were. I wanted to touch him, to lose myself in him, but I couldn’t. My hands were bound, and to my dismay, that added to the pleasure.

  The pressure was building, pushing me close to the edge and he could tell. He removed his mouth from mine, then slanted to take a hard nipple into his mouth. I went over the edge in a rush, pleasure rocking through me. With one final thrust, he spilled himself inside me, panting. “I love you so much.”

  “I love you, too.”

  After a moment, he reached up and released my hands, which I immediately wrapped around him. We lay there for a while, still connected, breathing each other in, staring into each other’s eyes. I felt complete, happy, safe, but above all—loved.

  “I have something for you,” he said, pulling out.

  “Really, what is it?”

  “Just a second.” He went into the bathroom to clean himself, then brought me a washcloth. After finishing with me, he tossed the cloth to the side and found his jeans.

  I lay there watching his movements, noticing the moment when he pulled the black velvet box out of his pocket. My heart picked up pace at what was in the box, but quickly plunged, realizing that was impossible. He couldn’t propose to me while married to someone else. I told myself it would’ve been too soon anyway, just to keep my thoughts and feelings from nosediving.

  “I saw this and thought of you.” He sat down beside me and opened the box. Nestled inside was a beautiful ring. The amethyst stone was square, surrounded by small diamonds. The band had diamonds as well, trailing down each side. It was gorgeous.

  “Javier…it’s stunning.”

  “Just like you.” He kissed me. “Look on the inside.”

  I turned it over and what I saw made me smile. A tiny coffee cup had been engraved on the inside of the band. Glancing at him, he said, “For the first time at The Underground. I think I fell in love with you that night—or, at least, I started to.”

  Tears streamed down my face. “It’s beautiful. Thank you. I love that it’s my birthstone.”

  “I’m glad you like it.” He slipped the ring on the middle finger of my right hand and I couldn’t stop staring at it. I had never had a piece of jewelry this nice.

  ***

  The rest of the weekend flew by. We spent time cuddled on the couch watching old movies and TV. And, of course, we made love on every possible surface of my apartment, but most of all, we just enjoyed being with each other doing normal, lazy things.

  Chapter 20

  “I can’t believe you already have to leave,” I told my sister as we sat across from each other at a local breakfast diner.

  “I know. I can’t wait until next year when I’m here.” Rebecca stuffed a forkful of egg in her mouth. She chewed and swallowed, then asked, “So, are you going to tell me who the mystery man is?”

  “What are you talking about?” I took a sip of my Dr. Pepper, going for nonchalance.

  “Oh, please. Look at the gorgeous ring on your finger. Plus, I heard you last night.”

  I choked on my drink. “Heard me?”

  “Yeah. Next time you have phone sex, be a little quieter. Although, if he can get you that worked up over the phone, he must be a fucking stallion in bed.”

  Holy shit. I didn’t know what to say, then it occurred to me that maybe I could tell Rebecca. She was my sister, and even though we were four years apart, we were
close. She didn’t live in Beach Center, so it’s not like she’d accidentally tell anyone. I looked around the small diner to make sure no one was looking or even paying attention to us. “Can you keep a secret?”

  She grinned, giddiness radiating off her. “Of course.”

  “I’m…dating someone. He’s wonderful, and amazing, and holy shit, he’s hot.” I took out my phone and scrolled to a picture of him. “This is him.”

  She snatched the phone and her jaw dropped. “Fuck. He’s, like, hella hot.”

  “Yeah.” I lowered my voice. “But he’s also my professor.”

  Rebecca’s eyes rounded and she began coughing. “What the hell, Alex?”

  “I know. It’s bad. Just don’t say anything. Courtney and Lane don’t even know.” Well, Lane knew, but nobody knew he knew. “And…it gets worse.”

  “I’m all ears.” She leaned closer, propping her elbows on the table.

  “He’s married.”

  Her face paled and her smile died. “What did you just say? I know I didn’t hear you correctly because my sister would never date a married man,” she hissed.

  “I know it sounds bad, but it’s really not.” I continued to explain Javier’s situation and how I really knew, deep down, that he loved me. In the end, it felt nice getting everything off my chest and telling my sister was perfect. It wasn’t like I’d have to see her every day and answer constant questions, plus she’d always love me, no matter what.

  “That’s…wow.” She sipped on her drink for a moment. “He seems to make you happy though, and that’s all I care about.”

  “Bec, how is it that you’re four years younger than me, but have always been way smarter?”

  She laughed. “Mom says I’m an old soul.”

  “No she doesn’t.” She shrugged and I sighed. “I wish you didn’t have to leave. I’ve loved hanging out with you this weekend.”

  “Me, too.”

  We finished our meal and hugged each other goodbye before she got in her car and drove away. I already missed her, but I was in desperate need of study time.

  I went home and texted Javier, even though I didn’t expect to see him.

  Me: My sister just left. I miss her already. Now, I’m going to study. Have a good Sunday. Love you.

  He texted me back a minute later.

  Javier: Glad you had a good weekend with her. I may be able to come over later for a couple hours while Caroline is at a friend’s house.

  Me: Sounds great. I’ll be here.

  I spent the next few hours studying and listening to Kenny Chesney. The door swung open and Javier stepped inside. A slow, lazy smile spread across his face and he flopped down beside me. “Hey, baby.”

  I leaned toward him for a kiss. “Hi.”

  “I can only stay for a couple hours, then I need to pick up Caroline.”

  “Okay,” I said. “Where is she?”

  “I dropped her off with a friend. They are going to one of those pizza places with the games. I told them I’d pick her up from there.”

  I nodded and tossed my textbook on the coffee table. “I’m glad you came over. I missed you.” I scooted toward him, then crawled on his lap.

  “Me, too. But you had fun seeing your sister?” He began stroking my back.

  “I did.” I thought about my earlier conversation with her. “I need to tell you something.”

  “Okay,” he said, wearily.

  “It’s nothing bad.” I touched his cheek. “I told her about us.”

  Javier’s hand froze and his face went stony. After a long minute, he said, “Excuse me?”

  Taking a deep breath, I replied, “I told her about us. I needed to tell someone about you. Rebecca won’t say anything, I promise.”

  “You told her. Did you tell her everything?”

  “Yes. And she didn’t judge or anything. She just listened.”

  He shoved me to the side and stood, running a hand through his hair. “I get it. I do. She’s your sister, but the next thing you know, you’ll be telling someone else. Fuck.”

  I understood his worry, but he really needed to see things from my point of view. “Well, Lane has known for a while, but we don’t talk about it. We pretend it doesn’t exist.”

  “What the fuck?” he roared. “Why the hell would you tell another student of mine? Damn it, Alexandria. Damn it to hell.”

  “I didn’t tell him.” I shoved to my feet. “You fucked me in an alley and he saw it.”

  “I can’t fucking believe this.” He took a step toward the door. “I have to get the fuck out of here.”

  And with that, he left.

  And my heart broke.

  ***

  Javier didn’t acknowledge my existence in his class on Monday and he looked extremely tired. I tried to ignore the bad feeling in my gut and gave him space. He was pissed, but he would get over it. He had to. He was a smart man and he would eventually see my side of things.

  I muddled through my other classes and was exhausted by the time I stepped into my apartment that evening. I decided a nice bubble bath was exactly what I needed to de-stress.

  The water was hot and the lavender oil was relaxing. I closed my eyes, letting my stress melt away. I lay there, not thinking, not doing anything but breathing for a long while. The water was beginning to turn lukewarm when the bathroom door opened.

  Javier stood in the doorway wearing a Texans t-shirt and loose basketball shorts. He didn’t look pissed, but he didn’t look happy either. He did, however, look sexy. “We need to talk when you’re finished.” His jaw clenched and he left.

  I heaved a deep breath. I wasn’t in the mood to deal with this. He had no right to be mad at me. It wasn’t like I was talking about our relationship with other students. He needed to relax.

  I got out of the tub, toweled off, and grabbed my silk robe. I opened the door and finished tying the sash around my body. When I entered the living room, Javier was standing next to the window, a pensive look on his face.

  “You wanted to talk,” I prompted, sitting on the armrest of the couch.

  He turned, letting his eyes rake over my silk-covered body. “Yes.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “I can’t do this anymore.”

  Silence.

  “Yo-you what?” I finally stammered out.

  He looked at the floor a beat, then at me. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this. I thought I could…I wish I could, but I can’t.”

  “You’re breaking up with me?” I stood, pissed. “Just because I told my sister?”

  His hands scrubbed his face. “Yes and no. I let my desire for you cloud everything else—my morals, included.”

  Tears began to pool in my eyes. “Go on,” I spat.

  “If we get caught, I’ve fucked up three lives. Caroline’s, yours, and mine. You won’t graduate, I’ll lose my job, and maybe my marriage.”

  I snorted. “Your marriage?” I asked slowly. “The marriage you claim isn’t real?”

  “It’s not real to me, but it is to my daughter.”

  “You do realize she will grow up one day and figure out the marriage is a sham, right? That you’re a fucking liar!” I was letting my anger get the best of me, but I didn’t care. He deserved every piece of it.

  “I know. But she’ll be older and able to understand things better.”

  I wrapped my arms around my body. “I don’t understand why you are doing this. I told my sister, that’s it.”

  Javier placed his hands on his hips. “Don’t forget your friend,” he said dryly.

  I wanted to slap him. I wanted to hate him. “I didn’t fucking tell him! He accidentally saw it. That isn’t my fault.”

  “I’m not saying it is. I’m just saying I can’t risk it.”

  I sat down on the couch. “I love you. You said you loved me, you can’t do this. I won’t let you.”

  His breathing picked up and his lips twisted into a sick smirk. “I didn’t want to tell you this, but I’ve been sleeping with someone else.”

/>   All the blood drained from my face and my heart completely shattered. “What?” I whispered.

  “Yeah.” He closed his eyes, then opened them again. “The girl from your class, Mia, I’ve slept with her a couple times. She came on to me and I saw how easy it was to get away with it with you, so I fucked her.”

  How? How could he do this? Did he not care about me at all? Was I just a game this entire time? Just someone to fuck with?

  I put my face in my hands, a sob tearing through me. “Get out.”

  I felt him sit down in front of me and take my hands. “Alexandria.”

  “Don’t,” I shouted, pushing his hands off me. “Don’t you fucking touch me!” Rage pierced through my body, propelling me forward. I hit his chest, and screamed, “You fucking asshole! You’re nothing but a piece of worthless trash!” I stood, then shoved at his shoulders as he sat on the coffee table. “I hope you burn in hell.”

  I stomped down the hallway, then turned and yanked the ring off my finger. I hated him so much in that moment. Taking the ring and throwing it at him, I yelled, “Get the fuck out of my apartment!”

  “Wait!”

  “Fuck you!”

  Launching myself on the bed, I cried. I had to be the stupidest girl alive. Not only was he sleeping with me, but he’d been sleeping with someone else. It had been right in front of my face the entire time, yet I had believed him when he said he only wanted me.

  I was a joke.

  Opening my eyes, I saw Javier standing in the doorway of my room, looking broken. He had tears in his eyes and he was staring at me. Why the fuck is he crying? I didn’t just break his damn heart. “I told you to leave and I meant it.”

  “I love you, Alexandria. Please know that.”

  “Get. The. Fuck. Out.” I rolled over and grabbed the pillow next to me. I was hurting more than I ever thought possible. My heart was shattered and battered, bleeding.

  “Okay,” he whispered.

  Then, I heard his retreating footsteps, and finally the door opening and closing. A sob burst from my chest and I cried. Minutes, hours went by while I lay curled up on my bed letting everything out. Letting my love for him out, and my hatred fill the void. I had to, otherwise I would completely break. I’d been a game to him, a pawn to play with, and I was absolutely not going to let him win.