Surrendered

by LP Lovell

  “Really?” He smiles that teasing grin.

  I laugh. “Hell no, I’d never incapacitate anyone who looks as good as you do right now.”

  “Is that so?” He pulls me up close to him and continues to dance, his hips grinding against me in a way that has my body begging for mercy. “You don’t look so bad yourself, sugar.” He says against my ear, so I can hear him over the music. His teeth nip at my ear lobe, before his lips touch my neck, nipping and sucking the sensitive skin. Holy shit. “I really…” The stubble of his jaw grazes over the skin of my neck. “…really want to fuck you right now.” He says. His voice is a low rumble that touches my skin like an open flame, setting my body ablaze with want.

  Oh god, I think I’m over-heating. My skin is prickling with anxiety. I haven’t had sex for a week. A week! I have my vibrator, but even BOB, can’t make up for Theo. I’m trying to give him his space, to do whatever it is he’s been doing, but my vagina has other ideas. I swear to god, if he doesn’t fuck me soon, I’m going all rapey on him.

  He runs his hands slowly down my body, until his palms rest on my arse, and starts to move with me. I hook my arms around his neck, writhing my entire body against him. It’s like an exquisitely erotic form of foreplay as his body moves against mine. He spins me away again, and pulls my back up against his front. His hand reaches around me, brushing across my stomach, and over the tops of my very pushed up boobs, until he has a gentle hold of my throat. I lean my head back against his shoulder, surrendering to his touch, his power. His other hand grips my hip bone, pressing my arse against his rigid cock. Everything about him is dominant, unrestrained and raw. I run my fingers up the back of his neck, scraping my nails across his skin. His teeth graze my ear, making me shiver. I roll my pelvis, pressing my arse harder against his crotch. The low growl in my ear makes me smile. A woman has to keep her power, and she does it using her strongest weapon, her body. He releases me and grabs my wrist, towing me across the packed dance floor. I can barely keep up in my sky high heels. He stops briefly and speaks to Hugo. Hugo hands him something, before he moves away again. He’s practically dragging me with him. He leads me up the stairs to the VIP section, and then left to a door that says ‘PRIVATE’ on it. He pulls out a key and unlocks it. I follow him inside what looks like the club office. It’s simple, a desk, and a couch. Nothing else.

  “Why are we here?” I ask coyly.

  He narrows his eyes at me wickedly. He’s all pent up animal aggression and sexual energy. I can feel his need from here, I can feel how much he wants me. “You can’t dance with me like that and expect me not to take you somewhere private.”

  I move away from him, walking slowly around the room as though I’m genuinely interested in the shit art on the walls. Hugo has no taste. “It’s kind of rude to leave Hugo’s party don’t you think?”

  He flashes me that wry, ‘I’m going to ruin you’ smile that I love so much. “No, I don’t think.” He closes the space between us, but I don’t move. My heart speeds as he stalks me, all pure alpha male. He grabs my hair in his hand, wrenching my head back, and exposing my throat to him. “I want you. Right here, right now.” He growls against my throat, his lips caressing my skin.

  I smile. “How much do you want me?” I tease as I reach down and stroke his bulging fly. I know he’s not a patient man, and I can’t remember ever seeing him this sexually frustrated, but I have to keep control of him. Theo is a man whom I could quite easily become consumed by.

  “Too much.” He groans.

  “Good.” I slide the zip down, and push my hand inside his boxers. His entire body tightens when I wrap my hand around his cock. He pulls my hair harder and moans into my neck. I move my hand up and down, feeling the soft skin. His breath hitches, and his teeth latch onto my neck. I gasp at the bite of pain, my entire body breaking out in goose bumps.

  “Fuck.” He hisses.

  He grabs my shoulders spinning me away from him violently. He pushes me down, bending me over the back of the sofa and holding me there. His movements are frantic and desperate. He yanks my skirt up, pushes my underwear to the side, and slides inside me easily. I’m so wet, that my body just accepts him, hell, it’s practically begging. He pulls back and thrusts forward hard, his thighs slapping against my arse. I cry out and he groans loudly. There’s nothing romantic about this, it’s just need, pure and simple.

  He stills inside me as his arm snakes around my chest, pulling me upright. His other hand trails down my thigh, gripping me by the back of the knee and lifting it, until it’s resting on the back of the sofa, with my thighs spread wide. He rips the straps of my dress off my shoulders, yanking the material down to expose my boobs. He’s everywhere, his cock pounds into me harder with each thrust. One hand pinches my nipple, sending tingles over my whole body. The other hand cups me possessively, rubbing my clit, whilst his lips, teeth and tongue work at my neck, sending me into a total sensory overload.

  He’s relentless and insatiable. He fucks me like an animal, like a man possessed. I take every inch of what he has to offer. My body starts to tremble and clench under his onslaught. “Come for me Lilly.” He growls against my ear. His fingers flick my clit harder, just as his teeth gaze my collar bone. I explode, unable to take any more. My entire body clenches and shakes as he pounds into me again and again. Just when I’m sure I can take no more, he groans my name and stills. His muscles go rigid before he thrusts into me once, twice, and then stops as a low growl escapes his throat. I put my leg back down, barely able to stand, let alone on one leg. I lean forward and rest my elbows on the sofa as I try and calm my racing heart. He wraps his arms around me and leans his head between my shoulder blades. He’s breathing hard, and I’m not surprised. I can’t remember ever being fucked like that.

  He presses his lips into my spine and stands up. I re-arrange my underwear, which is now soaked in both our bodily fluids, and pull down my skirt.

  I turn to face him. He’s watching me, studying every tiny movement.

  “You okay?” I ask as I pull up my dress.

  He flashes me a small smile. “Yeah. I missed you this week.”

  I brush my fingers over the stubble of his jaw. “I missed you too.”

  He covers my hand with his and turns his face to kiss my palm. “Sorry I haven’t been around.”

  I shrug. “It’s fine. Even you have to work sometimes, Theo.”

  He doesn’t answer, just pulls me in and places a gentle kiss on my lips. “I love you, never forget that.”

  I frown. “Theo, what’s wrong? You’re being weird.”

  He smiles, but it doesn’t touch his eyes. “Nothing.” He kisses me again. “Do you need to clean up?” He cocks an eyebrow at me and smiles like a dirty old man.

  I roll my eyes. “Yes. Is there a loo in here?” He points to a door in the corner and I go about taking care of the unpleasant after-math.

  We go back down the stairs and pass Molly and Hugo coming up. I don’t miss the careful exchange of the office key. Oh my god, why do I suddenly feel like one of their cheap groupie ho’s?! At least it wasn’t a toilet cubicle, it could be worse I suppose.

  We drink and hang out with Harry and George, but Theo has pulled away again. He doesn’t touch me like he usually does, and he seems completely out of it most of the time. George meets my eyes and frowns. I shrug, because I really have no idea what is going on with him. I need to talk to him, but I can’t here, the music is so loud I can barely here myself think, let alone have a conversation.

  I was having a good time, but my concern for Theo, for us, has put a damper on my night.

  I lean over, near his ear. “I’m going to go.” I hope he can hear me over the music. He nods and stands up, offering me his hand. He wraps an arm around my waist and guides me outside. I turn and face him. In the brighter lights outside the club I can see that he looks exhausted.

  “What is going on with you?” I ask bluntly.

  His eyes meet mine, and he seems to be looking for something
. “Nothing, I’m just sorting through some pretty heavy shit. It’ll be fine.” He feigns a smile that is so pathetic he shouldn’t have bothered.

  I step closer to him and cup his face in both hands. “I thought we were supposed to shoulder each other’s heavy shit?”

  He nods. “Yeah, I just…I need to get my head around it first, okay?”

  “Okay.” I whisper. It feels like there’s this great big wall between us, but for once I’m not the one putting it there. “Just promise me something?” He nods. “If you need me, then you’ll come to me. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t lean on me just because of all my shit. You’ve been there for me, let me return the favour. When I said I’d stand by you, I meant through everything.”

  He smiles softly and presses his lips to mine. “I promise.”

  “Are you coming back to mine?” I ask.

  “Sure, sugar.”

  I wake up screaming again. It takes me a moment to realise my surroundings. I fucking hate this shit. I can feel their hands on me and it makes me feel sick. Why can I not just be free of this? My body is slick with sweat, my breathing unsteady. I suck in lungful’s of air, just trying to calm down.

  My bedroom door opens casting a strip of light across the room. Theo stands there wearing a pair of trackies and a hoody. He comes and sits down on the edge of the bed, a deep frown carved across his face.

  “You okay, sugar?” He strokes my face gently. His eyes find mine, full of concern. Something in me wants to lash out and reject any kind of pity.

  “I’m fine.” I say as I climb out of bed. I move quickly into the en-suite and pull the door closed behind me. I don’t like him seeing this side of me. Ever. It’s one thing to admit you have demons, but to let someone see how they haunt you, well…I can’t deal with it.

  I turn on the light and lean my hands against the edge of the sink. I look up and glance at my reflection. I see the demons swimming in my own eyes. I don’t want to. I close my eyes and lean my forehead against the glass, just breathing in and out, in and out.

  “Lilly.” Theo’s voice comes from the doorway, low and with that bite of authority that makes him a force to be reckoned with.

  I stand up straight and glance at the door. He’s leant against the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest. I suddenly feel cornered. My chest feels tight, like I can’t breathe. I just need him to back off. I need some space right now.

  He doesn’t move, just watches me. I feel ashamed. I know it’s irrational, but I feel tainted and I don’t want him to see me right now, whilst I’m weak.

  “Please, just wait outside.” I say, barely holding it together. I don’t know why I’m such a mess. I think it must be the lack of sleep and the nightmares catching up with me. This is the third night in a row I’ve had the nightmares, and my mind feels like it’s at snapping point.

  “No.” He says quietly.

  “Please.” I say desperately.

  “Don’t push me away, Lilly.” He says quietly.

  “What, like you’re doing to me?” I snap as tears threaten. Fuck, why won’t he just leave?

  His eyes meet mine and hold my stare for a few seconds. Wordlessly he closes the distance between us and pulls me into his arms. He holds me so tight I can barely breathe. “No.” He whispers against my ear again. I want to lash out, to push him away, because this is so one sided, and it makes me feel vulnerable and shitty, but I don’t. I inhale his scent, that rich masculine smell that is all him. I bury my face in the warmth of his chest, and I let him hold me. Despite the messed up defensive part of my mind screaming at me to stand on my own two feet, the part of me that needs him wins out and goes to him. He brings with him this calm feeling, a serenity that I’m unable to create on my own. He has that quiet power that’s present in everything he is. He makes me feel like he could take on the world. We stay like that for what feels like forever. Eventually I push away from him.

  “I need a shower.” I mumble. I keep my eyes down, embarrassed at my behaviour. Surely there will come a point where I will stop being such a fuck up.

  He grabs my chin and forces me to look at him. “I love you.” He says, before turning and leaving the bathroom. Three words. Three words that make me feel invincible with him at my side. Three words that somehow erase my questions and doubts.

  When I step out of the en-suite, Theo is in my bed with his laptop propped on his knees. He closes it when he sees me. I slip into a clean pair of sleep shorts and a new tank.

  I climb into bed and Theo opens his arms, inviting me to curl up against him. He switches off the light. I press my cheek against the hot skin of his bare chest. His hand strokes my hair.

  “Why didn’t you come to bed earlier?” I ask.

  “I had some work to catch up on.”

  “I thought you paid people for that.”

  He huffs a laugh. “Some things only I can do. There’s only one Theo Ellis.”

  “Thank god.” I mumble.

  “It wouldn’t be fair to the universe otherwise.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

  “Uh-huh. You keep telling yourself that.”

  He’s quiet for a long time, and I think he’s fallen asleep. “What is your schedule looking like tomorrow?” He asks, his tone suddenly very serious.

  I shrug. “Not a lot. I need to go to the office for a bit, but I’m free in the afternoon.”

  “Can you clear a couple of hours for me at some point? It’s important. If possible, Harry should be there as well.” I frown. Harry?

  “Is it to do with the case?”

  “Yeah, it is.” He murmurs.

  “Sure. I’ll have to see if Harry can make it. He was supposed to be leaving in the morning.”

  “It’s really important, sugar.” He stresses.

  “Okay, I’ll see what I can do.” I promise.

  “Thank you.” He says quietly as his hand resumes its path stroking my hair.

  “Are you really okay?” I ask as I run my fingers in circles on his chest.

  He doesn’t respond straight away. “Yeah, sugar. I’m all good.” He presses his lips into my hair and pulls me closer. I’m so tired my eyes hurt. I drift to sleep with the sound of his steady heart beat thumping under my ear.

  I call Harry from my office the next morning. I didn’t get a chance to speak to Theo again this morning. He was out cold, so I left him in my bed to sleep. He looked like shit yesterday. I’m not sure what it is that has him up at night, but I really need to find out. It must be Cassie, surely? I need to speak to him about her again. It feels like we’re swimming through this river of shit and there are just too many problems to tackle. I worry that I’m just adding to his problems by dragging him into mine and vice versa, but we’ve both tried to go it alone. If there is one thing I know, it’s that we are better together. I help him, even when he doesn’t want it, and in return, he helps me. I think that this is probably very much balanced in my favour, but given his situation with Cassie at the moment, it feels as though I’m dealing with that alone. He’s happy to help me with my problems, but he can’t face his own, at least not yet.

  Harry picks up after the second ring. “Hey.”

  “Hi. Where are you?” I ask. Harry wasn’t on the sofa this morning, which means he probably got laid.

  “Um, I’m not sure, hang on.” I hear a voice in the back ground. “I’m at Britney’s house in Tooting.”

  “Classy, well I called because Theo says he needs to speak to us, and that it’s really important.”

  “I don’t think so.” His tone becomes icy.

  “Fucking hell Harry, you have to let it go. He helped get you bail.” I snap.

  “He’s also the dick that fucked over my sister, plus I think he’s an arsehole, and so is his twat of a friend.” He grumbles.

  “Seriously? You’re going to drag Hugo into this, just because he’s fucking Molly?”

  “You are my sister, and she might as well be. No-one fucks with that.” I laugh, a lot. �
�I’m serious!”

  “Do not for one fucking second pretend that you have any kind of brotherly feelings toward Molly, because you would be in that girls pants in a heartbeat if she let you, and by that I mean, if I let her.” I huff.

  “Have I ever told you you’re a cock block?” He grumbles.

  “Yup. Anyway, you will be there for this meeting, and you will be nice Harry, okay?” No answer. “I swear to god, I will string you up by…”

  “Okay! Fucking hell, if I wanted this kind of shit I’d get a girlfriend…”

  “Two thirty.” I talk over his bullshit rant.

  I stay at the office for a few hours. I’m still playing catch up from my time off, but I think I’m pretty much there now. At one thirty I leave and head home.

  I swear. Harry bitches and whines like a five year old. I don’t know what part of ‘Theo is helping’ he doesn’t understand. I pull the Maserati into Theo’s driveway.

  Harry lets out a low whistle. “This is his house?”

  “Yeah, his grandmother left it to him.” I don’t know why I feel the need to defend Theo’s money. I guess it’s a knee jerk reaction. I want Harry to see more than the millionaire he’s known to be. When it comes to my brother, I want him to see Theo how I see him. I want my brother to realise that Theo is a decent guy, who is more than worthy of me. Alas, this is Harry, and Jesus himself wouldn’t be good enough in his eyes. I love him for it, but it’s infuriating.

  I get out of the car and ring the doorbell. I have a key, and I’d normally just walk in, but I don’t want to just go in with Harry here.

  Theo swings the door open. He’s wearing jeans and a long sleeved shirt which hugs his chest and arms. “Hey sugar.” He says quietly. There’s this air of grief about him that I’m starting to find more and more troubling.

  “Ellis.” Is Harry’s curt response. I roll my eyes and punch him in the arm. “Ow!” He grunts.

  “Be nice.” I hiss. Harry just scowls at me in response.

  We follow Theo through the house and up the stairs to living area. “Whoa.” Harry says quietly next to me. “I might be able to see why you’re with him.”