Surrendered

by LP Lovell

  “No way.” Lilly mumbles from my chest. She pulls away. “She was out cold.”

  I nod. “Okay.” I think I can work with this.

  “You think you can help us?” Harry asks.

  Lilly turns to face him. “Not this time, Harry.”

  “What are you talking about?” He frowns.

  “This time there is no us. This time it’s on me.” He starts shaking his head before she’s even finished.

  “No, it’s always us, and it always will be.”

  She smiles. “You always tell me not to be a victim, but that’s exactly what you’ve become Harry. I don’t want you to be a victim of my actions.”

  “You were fourteen Lilly!” He shouts. “You were raped, beaten, sold. Killing him was not an action, it was justice.” He shouts angrily. I can tell he’s not angry at her, he’s angry at what happened to her. He’s angry that she has to be in this position, which she has had to endure this for so long.

  “I know, but I did what I did, and I won’t let you keep paying the price.”

  “Fuck that.” He says.

  “So stubborn.” She mumbles. Whether she likes it or not, he isn’t going anywhere. He lives to protect her, I can see it every time he looks at her, as if he would kill and die for her without a second thought. I always thought Harry was easy going, but I see now that even that is for her. Lilly hates sympathy, and she likes to put a face on everything. I think back on every time I’ve seen them together. He wears a mask for her. He goes along with her badass façade for her sake, and he does it because he loves her.

  Harry leaves not long after our joyful conversation. I let him out and go back upstairs. Lilly’s sat on the sofa, cradling a cup of coffee. I managed to pry the vodka away from her.

  “Lilly.” I sit next to her. She glances up, and manages a small smile.

  “Hey.” She rasps.

  I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her into my side. She snuggles into me. “You okay, sugar?”

  She doesn’t answer for a long time. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

  “Well, it’s not exactly every day conversation.”

  “I know. It’s just… a lot. And then there’s Harry.” She explains.

  I grasp her chin, tilting her head up toward me. “It’s. Fine. You and Harry protect each other, because you’ve only had each other. I would be the same with my sister.”

  “But now I have you.” She whispers. “And for the first time in my life, my brother isn’t enough anymore. Being safe isn’t enough. I want to live Theo, not survive. I want to feel, not just protect myself.” She closes her eyes. “I want you.”

  I stroke my fingers along her jaw. “You have me.”

  She offers me a sad smile. “But for how long?”

  That night, I lay awake for hours. Lilly sleeps soundly, exhaustion taking over. I hold her to me as though she may disappear at any given moment, and truth be told, she might. If I can’t fix this, then she will have to leave. I meant what I said though. As hard as it will be to give up my life, it would be harder to give up her.

  I just need something that can pin Shaun’s murder on Jane. All she really has is a video of them dumping a body. It wouldn’t be difficult to say that they were just teenagers, following the instructions of their abusive and aggressive mother. I’ve already looked into their records. There are several records of unexplained injuries from the school they both attended, as well as long absences, and even medical records. Harry has several records of broken bones. There are even social services reports, but it would seem that Jane is very good at turning on the charm when she needs to. I’ve witnessed first-hand how she can play the regretful mother, just desperate for forgiveness from her daughter. She’s a masterful liar.

  There’s enough evidence to paint her as the abusive mother, and an aggressive person. There is one social services report in which the inspector noted that Jane had a black eye. Perhaps self-defence against domestic abuse? Who is really going to believe that two teenagers killed a man? The more I think about it, the more I realise that she has nothing. It seems too simple though. Jane seems to have thought of everything so far, surely she must have thought of this.

  The next morning, I leave Lilly in bed whilst I make a few calls. I can almost hear the clock ticking, and feel the figurative axe hanging over our heads. I need to make this go away. I’m not sure how much more Lilly can take. My eyes hurt from lack of sleep and I have a monster headache. I’m on my third cup of coffee by the time Lilly makes an appearance.

  “Hey, sugar.” I smile at her. She approaches my desk, and I push my chair back. She drops onto my lap, wearing only one of my t-shirts and a pair of boxers.

  “Hey.” She smiles and presses her lips to mine. “Why are you up so early on a Sunday?” She grumbles.

  “I’m doing constructive stuff.” I tell her.

  She frowns. “Sleeping is constructive stuff.” The morning light streams through the tall windows of the house, catching her hair and illuminating it in a halo of fire. The dark circles have disappeared from under her eyes, and she’s finally managed to put on some of the weight she lost when we were apart. She’s back to being the bomb shell I first fell for.

  “Did you sleep okay?” I ask. “No nightmares?” I expected her to be bad last night, given all the revelations. Whenever her past has arisen, it usually seems to trigger them.

  She shakes her head. “Nope.”

  “Huh.” Is all I say. She picks up my cup of coffee and takes a sip. “Mmm, best coffee ever.” I think she’s a little bit in love with my coffee machine.

  “Careful, I’ll start to think you’re only with me for my coffee.” I smirk. She smiles, but it fades quickly. “What is it, sugar?”

  She sighs. “I just, I need you to know that I appreciate what you tried to do.” Her eyes hold mine. I nod. “And, I also want you to know that even though we’re being blackmailed, I feel weirdly free.” Her lips quirk up. “I mean, I’ve spent so long running, and I finally feel like I can just stop. Whichever way this goes, it feels kind of good to stop.”

  “You are not going to prison, Lilly.” I grate.

  She tilts her head. “Maybe, maybe not, but you know everything there is to know about me now, and there’s a certain freedom in that.”

  “You sure?” I smirk. “You don’t have some secret love child I should know about?”

  She rolls her eyes. “That my love, is your department.” She smiles.

  “Oh, ouch.”

  She snorts. “Don’t pretend it isn’t true.” She raises an eyebrow, daring me to deny it, before thankfully changing the subject. “So, was this whole thing the reason for your absence this last week?”

  I frown. “Absence?”

  “You’ve been so distant, I was sure you were having some sordid affair with a woman in Monaco.” She huffs.

  I laugh. “A sordid affair. Damn woman, I can hardly keep up with you. My cock feels abused this morning.”

  “I think you’ll find that was your own doing. You shouldn’t be so rough with it.” She smirks.

  I grab the back of her neck and pull her closer, catching her bottom lip between my teeth. “You love it rough though.” I whisper against her lips.

  She pulls back slowly. “I need coffee, before said cock gets another seeing to.” She grins wickedly and slides off my lap.

  I’ve had Miles on Jane’s case for two days. It’s not going as quickly as I would like. Miles has offered to bring in a couple of guys he thinks are trustworthy, but I just cannot risk it. I trust Miles implicitly, and I know he will protect Lilly as if he would protect me. Plus, he would never say it, but secretly he loves being my go to guy for this. We pretty much have everything we need, except one concrete piece of evidence to pin her with. She doesn’t have a concrete piece of evidence either, but if we’re going to beat her, then we need to go one better.

  I’ve been thinking about this a lot though. Jane didn’t see Lilly and Harry kill Shaun, and the p
olice obviously haven’t found a body, or they would have turned up here. Name change or not, they would be able to track them down. So that means that she can’t possibly have anything concrete, and that she is piecing together facts. If she does in fact have this video, then that would be enough to make her think they killed him. I have an idea, it’s a risky idea, but an idea nonetheless. I’m not going to threaten Jane with framing her. I’m going to go one better.

  I’m going to make her believe that she killed him.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  LILLY

  “Lilly, it has been three days.” Harry tells me for what feels like the thousandth bloody time. I know he means well, but it’s just not helpful right now.

  “I have told you, Harry, we will give him a chance.”

  “Lilly, I know he wants to play hero, but it will be you and I who suffer when he fucks up.”

  “He won’t fuck up.” I snap.

  He slams his palms down on the breakfast bar. “For one fucking second, will you pull your head out of your loved up arse and see the writing on the fucking wall!” He shouts. What the hell?! Harry has never spoken to me like that, ever.

  “I am! I see that if we run now, we will always be running Harry. I have finally found something and someone worth standing still for, please don’t begrudge me that.”

  He presses his lips together. “I don’t want to Lilly, but you have to realise that some people, they don’t get to stand still. Life dealt us a shit hand, and now we have to deal with it. Marriage, kids, stable lives, that’s not something we can have. Maybe one day, but not right now. We’ve had it pretty good for the last few years, but we always knew it might catch up to us one day.” He says softly. “Theo, he loves you. I have no doubt about that. He will never understand this though. He lives a privileged life. We live a dangerous one. I don’t say this to be cruel. I say it because I love you and I want you to be safe.”

  “I know.” I whisper. Is he right? Am I living in a dream? To live a life with Theo, that’s surely a fantasy right? Fuck. Am I doing the right thing trusting him? Maybe Harry’s right, maybe Theo can never comprehend what it is to live with these sorts of demons constantly chasing you. I think that’s what I like about him though. He has this care free air around him all the time. His world is untouched by ugliness, and it’s very much what he makes it. When I’m with him, he pulls me into his world. He makes me feel protected, loved, safe. Am I blinded by that, by his love? Perhaps Harry is right, and safety is not a luxury that I get. Fuck, I don’t know. My mind is a jumble of random thoughts, each one conflicting with the last. I’m just praying that Theo can make this right. I really want to believe that he can, because if he doesn’t, then I have a horrible decision to make. Stay or go. Do I take the ultimate gamble and risk everything for the possibility of happiness, for love? We have the kind of love that some people search their whole lives for and never find, but I risk going to prison in an attempt to try and keep it. Or I can run, and settle for a life of freedom, but without that love. Fuck, I can’t make these kinds of decisions. There’s just too much hanging in the balance, and too many potential regrets.

  I know Theo said he would run with me, but it’s ridiculous, a romantic but stupid idea. He has too much here to leave behind, and I will not let him leave that baby here with Cassie for a mother. He seems to think that all he needs in life is me, but that’s because he’s never had to live without everything he has. Life on the run is hard. You have to change your name, be careful who you speak to. Even simple things like opening a bank account are difficult. Honestly, I don’t think he has it in him, and I worry that he would resent me for it in the long run.

  I can only hope that he manages to pull it out of the bag. Funny how a couple of weeks ago, I wished more than anything that I had never met Theodore Ellis. Him having a baby with someone else seemed so catastrophic, and yet now it pales into insignificance. Now, I would give anything for Cassie to be our only problem.

  “Look, I’m not trying to force your hand, but I’ve always done what’s best for you haven’t I?” Harry’s emerald eyes plead with me. I nod. He has always done what’s best, and until now it’s allowed us to live relatively normal lives. I won’t pretend I haven’t spent the last few years looking over my shoulder, because I have. I have also managed to become a solicitor and make something of myself, and given the circumstances, that’s pretty bloody amazing. “I have booked a flight for tomorrow evening to Norway.”

  “Norway? Why Norway?”

  He shrugs. “A friend of mine owns a cabin out there.” Of course he would want to go to some cabin in the middle of bloody nowhere. Harry is always prepared to run. When you’ve helped kill someone, you tend to be cautious. He has money stashed in bank accounts all over the world. Not Theo kind of money, but enough for us to lay low for a few months before finding somewhere to rebuild our lives. He’s right. We have been lucky up until now.

  “But it’s too soon, we haven’t given Theo…”

  “If he hasn’t managed to fix this by then, it’s too risky.” He says seriously.

  “But Harry, I can’t just leave. What about my job?”

  “Lilly, you do understand that you will go to prison if this goes bad? Your job won’t fucking matter when you are behind bars!” He shouts. I start to reply, but he holds his hand up, silencing me. “I am taking the flight tomorrow night.”

  “You would be breaching your bail Harry. No!”

  He cuts me off. “My friend Billy runs private flights to a ski resort out there. I’ll text you the address for the runway. It’s no longer up for discussion. Be there.” He narrows his eyes at me before storming out of the kitchen. The front door slams, marking his exit.

  What the hell just happened? Did my brother really just give me an ultimatum?

  I’ve got back to back meetings all day. I’m throwing myself into my work as a welcome distraction from…well, everything. Theo emailed me earlier saying he needs to speak to me. I’ve scheduled him in as a lunchtime meeting. We’re not publicly back together, so I can totally pass him off as a client to Simmons. Not that he cares. As long as Theo keeps writing him fat cheques, I really don’t think he cares which of his staff are hopping into bed with him.

  My last meeting is with Josh who keeps smirking at me across the conference table. We’re having to deal with a massive take over for an old friend of Simmons, but fuck me, the man is so boring. He must be about eighty, and it takes him about three times longer than the average person to speak a sentence. Josh looks about ready to kill himself by the time we’re done. Still, it’s a multi-million pound buy out, which means big fee’s, of which we get a cut, so I shouldn’t really complain.

  By the time I make it to my lunchtime meeting with Theo, I have a killer headache. I’ve been busting my arse at work, pulling early mornings and late nights, all on top of no sleep. My colleagues must think I’m the super bitch, I’m so bloody snappy.

  Theo meets me at Aroma, a small coffee shop near my office. He’s sat on one of the tall bar stools by the window. I smile. He doesn’t like the window, but he knows I do. I like people watching.

  “Hey.” I kiss his cheek quickly. He moves to kiss my lips but I duck away and eye him meaningfully. The very last thing I need right now on top of everything else, is the press. You wouldn’t believe the lengths people will go to. The way people act around him, you’d think he was a rock star, not just a hot businessman. I’ve seen people take crappy pictures of us on their phone, and have then seen them online the next day. For now, if anyone asks, we’re just business acquaintances.

  “I got you a coffee.” He says with a wry smile on his lips. He’s wearing a suit, or as close to a suit as Theo gets. Suit trousers and a shirt, unbuttoned with no tie. I swear to god, a suit is to a woman what lingerie is to a man. I slip off my blazer, feeling a bit over heated.

  “Thank you.” I pick up the cup in front of me and take a sip, trying to ignore that sexier than sin look on his face. “I am in dire
need.” The caffeine hits me like a soothing blanket, easing my tension and giving me a new lease of life. Yep, I think I probably have a full-fledged addiction.

  “How is your day going?” He asks politely.

  I shrug. “Boring meetings, rich old men, standard.”

  He smirks. “Sounds very similar to my day.”

  “Do you mean to tell me you actually ventured inside the walls of your own company? Shocker!” I tease.

  “I did. Then I remembered why I hate working and I came here. Needless to say, you are far more attractive than the gnarly old men I’ve been with all morning.” He places a hand on my thigh, trailing upward. I cover his hand with mine, stilling it.

  “What part of inconspicuous do you not understand?”

  He chuckles. “Babe, trust me when I say that no-one is going to believe for a second that I’m not fucking you.”

  “And why is that?” I ask quietly.

  He leans in, until our faces are close. “Because you look like that, and there is no fucking way I could ever be friends with someone who looks like you. My cock would disown me. Plus, they’re not blind. You’re looking at me like you want to do very bad things to me.” He grins. “Two people who look like us can’t not fuck sugar. It’s a fucking travesty to the human race.”

  I snort. “You did not just say that?”

  “Don’t act like it’s not true.” He leans one elbow casually on the back of the chair, and turns his body toward me. He’s so arrogant, but fuck, it’s attractive.

  “No comment.” I mumble into my coffee cup. He throws his head back and laughs.

  I narrow my eyes at him. “You seem in a very good mood.”

  “I am. Do you want to know why?”

  “You’re going to tell me anyway…” I point out.

  He shrugs. “True. We are going to Monaco tomorrow. I think I know just how to fix this. It will require some rather skilful acting on your part though.”

  I press my lips together at the rather unpleasant thought of seeing my mother again. So, I have to make a choice by tomorrow, Monaco or Norway. Theo or Harry. How can I abandon my brother? How can I not let Theo at least try to save everything I’ve worked for? Those are my choices, but only one I can live with. I won’t live with what if’s. I’d rather go to prison than walk away, never knowing whether I threw away my only chance at real happiness. “Acting I can do.”