Surrendered

by LP Lovell

  I shake my head. “It’s fine.” I meet his worried eyes and brush my fingers over his beard.

  “Shit, dude, you almost kissed her into a cardiac arrest or some shit.” Hugo says.

  Theo sighs in relief. He looks tired, really tired.

  “Hugo do me a favour.” I ask. He nods. “Take Theo home and make him wash and shave, maybe even sleep?” I raise an eyebrow at Theo, daring him to argue with me.

  “What? You don’t like the beard?” He feigns offense.

  “You look homeless.”

  He smiles. “I love you too babe.”

  “Oh, I think I’m going to wretch.” Hugo whines.

  “I don’t want to leave you, sugar.” Theo says, completely ignoring his friend.

  “Go, Molly will stay.” I glance at Molly and she shrugs and nods. He still looks hesitant. “Go! I’m not kissing you again until you shave.” He scowls at me and then turns and leaves the room, with Hugo hot on his tail.

  “You two are so cute, it’s disgusting. I seriously thought he was going to lose it when you were in that coma.” She smiles softly.

  “Yeah, well that’s no excuse not to wash.” I grumble. I do think it’s cute that he stayed this whole time. Honestly, I wouldn’t expect anything less. I finally accept that the way he loves me is irrational and intense, but so damn good. He would never leave if there was any doubt that I was okay.

  “True.” She nods. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  “Thanks.”

  There’s a knock at the door and a seriously hot guy steps into the room. Hell, for him, I’d welcome the fucking circus. “Miss Parker, I’m Dr. Ryker. I’m your orthopaedic surgeon.” He flashes me a perfect smile that rivals Theo’s. He has this dark chestnut hair, just a touch too long, falling over his forehead. His eyes are hazel, but leaning toward gold. He has on a pale blue shirt and beige chino’s. What is it with surgeons? They’re hot, even when they are not actually hot…and this one would be hot if he were a bin man. It takes me a minute to realise that I haven’t said anything, and I’m kind of just staring at him. Hey, I can blame it on the head injury.

  “Um…hey.” I say quickly.

  He smiles at Molly quickly and then proceeds to start talking me through my multiple broken bones. He turns on a light box thingy on the wall and pins some x-rays to it. “As you can see, your ankle is…”

  “Fucked!” I shriek. Molly snorts. Oh my god. It looks like a pane of cracked glass.

  His lips quirk up. “Um…shattered.”

  He points to another x-ray. “This is the plate that we have put in for now. At the time, your bones were the least of your problems, so we just did enough that you wouldn’t lose your foot.”

  “Great. Appreciate it.”

  “This needs pinning properly, and your collar bone needs plating. We’re probably looking at several surgeries.” He keeps talking in that professional tone, pointing out various things on the x-rays. I glance at Molly, who is biting her lip as she watches his every move.

  “How long will it be before she’s fully rehabilitated?” She asks, just a touch of sensuality in her voice. His gaze swings to hers, and his lips kick up slightly as he loses his professional mask for a second.

  “Anywhere from six to twelve months for it to fully rehabilitate.” He says, completely focused on her.

  “Good to know.” She purrs.

  He blinks and turns back to me. “Right, well, I’ll make arrangements to pin your ankle then.”

  I nod. “Okay.”

  He takes his x-rays and leaves the room.

  “Holy. Fuck. Hottest surgeon ever.” I say quietly.

  “I wish my gynaecologist looked like him. I’d be a whole lot happier if he were looking at my vagina.” I laugh, which hurts like a fucking bitch.

  Molly hangs out in my hospital room as though she has nothing better to do.

  “Molly, what happened to Cassie?” I eventually ask quietly.

  Her expression goes ice cold. “She nearly got you killed, that’s what.”

  “I know, but I just…I don’t know why it matters, but it does. What happened to her?” I press.

  She doesn’t answer for a long time. “She didn’t have a seatbelt on. She’s in a coma, and on life support. They’re trying to track down her next of kin.”

  I swallow hard. “And the baby?” She drops her eyes and shakes her head. Fuck.

  “Is she here?” I ask.

  Molly sighs. “Yes, but…”

  “I want you to take me to her.”

  “Hell no!” She shrieks. “Theo will flip his fucking lid. Jesus, Lilly, why are you such a fucking martyr when it comes to that girl?”

  “I’m not!” I yell. I quickly settle back down as my ribs scream in protest.

  “She’s a druggy slut!” Molly snaps at me. “Has she not caused you enough shit? She’s not even conscious! There is no point in seeing her.”

  “Well, she won’t be causing me any more will she?” Maybe it’s the drugs, who knows? I guess in a way I pity her. It’s so brutally sad that she’s lying in that bed all alone. No-one will miss her, no-one will mourn her. I would never say this to Theo, but I can see so clearly the path that brought her to this point. Theo’s selfish actions were pretty influential in the forging of that path. I know what it’s like to get lost. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have no-one to find you again. She had no-one. “Please Molly.” I say quietly.

  She huffs. “You’re not even allowed out of bed.”

  “Well, I’m getting out of it at some point today, with or without you.” I swear I feel like one of those old people with bed sores.

  “For fucks sake! I swear to god, Lilly, you have five minutes with her, and you do not tell Theo I took you.” She growls.

  I snort. “As if. I’m not telling him I went, never mind that you took me.”

  “Fine. I’ll go get a wheel chair.” She leaves the room making it very clear that she is not happy about the situation in the slightest.

  She comes back and puts the chair beside the bed. “You really shouldn’t be out of bed yet.”

  “It’s just a few broken bones.” I brush her off.

  “Lilly, you almost died. Stop brushing that shit off. It’s fucking annoying.” She bites. Oh Jesus, she is really not happy about this. I throw the blankets off of my body and swing my legs over the side. I stare down at the cuts and bruises covering my legs.

  “Ah shit. I’m going to have some awful scars.”

  “Babe, you’re pissing through a tube. Scars are the least of your worries.” She smirks.

  I glance down at the tube coming from underneath my night shirt. “Ew. Oh god, it’s freaking me out. Get a nurse to take it out. I’m going to be sick.” I feel hot and dizzy. I lay back down on the bed. I poke at my stomach where I can feel a slight tugging. Oh my god, there’ a tube coming out of my stomach. It’s like something out of the Matrix.

  A nurse comes in. She’s not either of the two I’ve seen. “Everything okay?” She smiles.

  “I need this out. Right now.” I tell her, pointing to the offensive bag beside the bed. Molly covers her mouth to try and stop laughing.

  The nurse picks up the chart at the end of the bed. “This says you are to keep it in for at least another forty eight hours.”

  “I want it out now.” I tell her.

  “You look very pale.” She notes.

  “That’s because I just realised there’s a fucking tube hanging out of me, and a bag of piss by my bed!” I snap. Molly bursts out laughing. Hands on knees laughing.

  “Okay, um, I’ll get the doctor to come down. It might be a little while.”

  “Fine.” I grumble. She leaves the room.

  Molly wipes tears off her face. “Ah, shit Lill’s. You are too funny.”

  “I need to go see Cassie before Theo comes back. Looks like the piss bag is coming with.” I groan. God, that is gross.

  Molly helps me out of bed and into the wheel chair. My limbs feel like j
elly. It hurts like an absolute bitch to move, but I try not to let on or she might change her mind.

  “Hand me a blanket. I don’t fancy giving everyone an up close viewing of my piss bag.” She smirks. “Don’t you dare laugh.” I point at her.

  She tucks the blanket around my legs, hiding the bag, which I’ve now tucked down the side of the chair. My casted leg is stuck out like I’m about to attempt some sort of jousting match.

  “Okay, ready?” She asks.

  “Drive on.”

  Molly pushes me out into the corridor. We get in a lift. We’re the only ones in here. “Do you know where you’re going?” I ask.

  “Yeah, she’s on the fourth floor.” Just as I’m wondering why Molly would know where Cassie is she continues. “I thought Theo might want to see her or something. He lost a baby as well. I know he had started to accept it, thanks to you.” She squeezes my shoulder. “He wouldn’t though. He’s bitter and angry. He’s holding it together in front of you, but…”

  “I know he’s fragile. I can see it.” I reach up and place my hand on hers. “Thank you for trying.”

  “It was bad Lill’s. He didn’t even care. I had to tell him about the baby.” She sighs. “It’s like you are all he can focus on. Like, he can’t deal with anything without you.”

  “No, he just can’t deal with Cassie because I deal with her. I always take the lead where she’s concerned.” I smile sadly. My poor ridiculous man.

  The lift pings and the doors open. We go down a corridor and onto a ward. One of the nurses stops us. “We’re here to see Cassie.” Molly tells her. We’re in visiting hours, so the nurse nods and shows us to a small room, just off the main ward.

  The door clicks shut behind us, leaving us with the sounds of whirring machinery and beeping. Cassie’s small frame is propped up slightly on the bed. Her face is a mass of cuts and bruises. An enormous cut runs from her cheek, across to the top of her upper lip, a lot of stitches are holding the nasty gash together. A ventilator tube is in her mouth, and various lines are attached to her arms.

  Her baby bump is gone, the sheets lying flat over her stomach.

  “What happened to the body?” I ask quietly.

  “There was no next of kin. She was already unconscious and losing the baby when they brought her in. She never regained consciousness, so they cremated it, I believe.” I nod. “Theo didn’t come forward at the time, because, well, you were dying. Literally. He had other priorities.” I nod numbly. I suppose the only saving grace is that she wasn’t awake to experience the loss of her baby. It’s so easy to persecute her, to judge her actions, but Cassie is ill. She’s an addict, who I suspect is suffering from mental health issues. Theo never would have let her keep that baby, but at least she would have known that her child lived.

  I pick up the chart from the end of the bed. I know the doctors won’t tell me anything, but this is just lying around so… A lot of it makes no sense to me, just big words and scan results. I understand perfectly what brain dead means though. I glance back to Cassie’s peaceful looking form. A lump forms in my throat. She’s so young. She could have had her whole life ahead of her, but instead, she ended up here. She didn’t want to help herself. Maybe this is best.

  I try to push the wheel chair closer, Molly helps me. I don’t know what will happen to Cassie now, but either way, she’s gone. I take her lifeless hand in mine. “I’m sorry Cassie.” I tell her. I know she can’t hear me, but I need to say goodbye to the girl that I tried so hard to help. “I hope that you find more peace where you are, than you did in this world.”

  Molly takes me for a wonder around the hospital. Neither one of us speaks. It doesn’t matter whether you know a person, whether you love them or hate them…death is brutal.

  It’s half an hour later when we finally make it back to the room. I’ve pulled myself together, and just in time too. Theo is sat on my bed alone. His beard is once again stubble, and he’s changed into a black t-shirt and jeans. His arms are crossed over his chest and the sleeves of his t-shirt strain against his biceps.

  I smile at him, but he just narrows his eyes at me. Molly literally rolls me into the room and makes a sheepish getaway. Traitor.

  “Where did you go?” He asks.

  “Just for a wonder. I was bored.”

  “You just woke up from a coma, you don’t just get bored and go for a stroll.” He raises his eyebrows as though waiting for my response.

  I shrug. “Well I did.”

  I don’t want to meet his scrutinising gaze, so I wince and grasp at my ribs. It works, he instantly jumps to my side trying to help. Yeah, I’m a bitch, but I don’t want to face the shit storm that will hit if he finds out I saw Cassie.

  He helps me into bed. He tries to help me with my piss bag but I hug it to me like it’s made of bloody gold. He frowns at me. “You are not touching the piss bag.” I say, absolutely mortified beyond words. He tries to hide his smile.

  “Babe, it’s only a plastic bag.” He tries to appease me.

  “Of wee.” I clarify. This time he does laugh.

  “You are so cute sometimes.” I scowl as he ruffles my hair, yes, like a dog.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  THEO

  Lilly has been in the hospital for four weeks now. I spent that first week just praying for her to open her eyes. I’ve spent this last week wishing she would just go to sleep. I love her, but Jesus, she is the worst patient I have ever met. The doctor tells her she needs a catheter, she demands they take it out because, and I quote; ‘it grosses her out’. She’s told to stay in bed, she leaves. The only time she does as she’s told is when she’s asleep, or out of it on drugs.

  I’m heading to the hospital today to bring her home. The doctors wanted her to stay for another week, but again, she bitched and moaned until they relented and said she could go home with lots of drugs. I get why she doesn’t want to be there. She’s had three more surgeries since that first night, two on her ankle, and one on her collar bone. She’s had enough.

  When I get to her room in the hospital, her brother is there. He’s sat on the end of her bed laughing at her. The smile on her face is just perfection. They both look up when they notice me.

  “Hey.” Lilly beams.

  “Hey, sugar.” I walk over to the bed. I wrap my hand around the back of her neck as I lean in and kiss her forehead. Her hair smells of strawberry from the shower she made me help her with last night. My poor balls. Never mind blue, they pretty much shrivelled up and died after that. It’s not my fault that my cock doesn’t understand the whole verging on death thing.

  “Hey, Harry.” I offer him a nod.

  “Hey.” Harry and I are still not on great terms. He blames me for everything that has happened to his sister, and I get that. This was my fault. I just don’t want a rift between us effecting Lilly. Harry is important to her. Their relationship was tenuous at best before the crash, and that was my fault as well. She chose me. She should have chosen him. Harry wouldn’t have let this happen. He would have protected her.

  “Has the doctor been to see you?” I ask her. It feels weird not knowing what’s going on. I’ve been staying here with her every night. I went home last night to make sure everything is ready for her when she comes home.

  “Yes, I’m good to go. Bust me out of this shit hole.” She wiggles in the bed a little and it makes me laugh.

  “Okay, well clothes would be good babe. Or were you planning on exposing your arse crack to the world?” She scowls and I laugh.

  “I’m going to go, Lill’s.” Harry stands and kisses her on the cheek. “I love you. I’ll stop by later.”

  “Love you too.” She smiles at him. He turns and leaves without a word. Lilly turns to me. “Have you two not made up yet?” She says with a frown on her beautiful face.

  I offer a non-committal shrug. “It will be fine. Eventually.”

  She huffs. “Men are so childish about these things.” I say nothing as she rants. “Anyway, I really need to pee.
” She looks so embarrassed it’s cute.

  “Your wish, my command.” I help her out of bed and to the small toilet cubicle. This is a drill we’ve done many times over the last couple of weeks.

  I help her to the loo until she’s sat down with her hospital gown bunched in her lap. She always hunches over a little and presses her thighs together so I can’t see. She even insists on throwing loo roll down the toilet so I can’t hear her wee. Like I said, so damn cute.

  “Wait outside.” She shoo’s me out.

  “Seriously Lilly. I can’t see anything…or hear anything.” I roll my eyes.

  “It’s the principle.” She hisses.

  I chuckle to myself as I pull the door closed. A minute later and she’s summoning me again. I steady her with my hands around her waist as she washes her hands, trying not to get her cast wet. She hops along beside me back to her bed. She lays back against the pillows, her face white and her breath’s shallow.

  “Lilly.” I growl.

  “I’m fine.” She waves me off.

  “You are not fine.”

  “You listen to me.” She points at me. “I am not fucking staying here another night, so I am fine.”

  I sigh and tilt my head back to look at the ceiling. Jesus, she’s so bloody frustrating sometimes.

  “It’s not that bad here.” I say to her. Okay, that’s a lie. I feel like I’m living in a youth hostel staying here, and I’ve ordered for food to be brought in the entire time she’s been here. That shit they call food is just plain wrong. It is a hospital though, and she needs to be here. “I told you that I would have you moved.” There is a small private hospital barely a mile from my house. It’s very exclusive, but it’s also very nice. That way she would get the care she needs, without trying to escape every two minutes.

  “I don’t need a hospital. I have you.” She says smiling sweetly.

  I sigh, resigned. “Okay fine, I’ll take you home as planned, but I’m hiring a nurse to come and take care of you.”

  “I’m fine.” She huffs.