The Lady of Fairhaven

by Lee Scott

  “Lady Gillian, wake up,” Luke called out as he climbed up the few feet to the ledge.

  She made no sign of moving, in fact she appeared to be dead. Luke’s fear took on unnatural proportions, but he had to reach her. He had to hold her. With one touch Gillian stirred. It wasn’t a large movement at first but it signaled that she was still responsive. At last she sat on the ledge and eased herself off into the arms of two knights waiting below. Before traveling on, she had to be tended.

  Touching the soft skin on her neck, Luke felt her heartbeat keeping her alive, if only barely. He snapped orders to his men. Simon started a fire and John gathered forest litter for a bed, and Gerhard fetched water. Everyone took on a task to help the lady.

  “I’m so cold,” she whispered. Then the slight shivers she fought off increased. Luke wrapped the blankets, he found on the ledge, around her, and gathered a few more from the men’s packs.

  Within a few minutes the men had made a weak warm broth of boiled dried meat. They added a touch of wine that would warm her from the inside out and provide some nourishment. Dog snuggled next to her legs warming them.

  The knight bent his head and buried it next to her sleeping face. He kissed the soft flesh of her cheek, thankful to have found her alive. He had no idea how much the thought of losing her might affect him. He had never needed anyone this much.

  After some time, Gillian was roused awake and made to take in some more sustenance. She was feeling much stronger after having been warmed and fed. She had no lasting injuries from the past days.

  The combination of all the ministrations calmed the severe shivering and teeth chattering. And before midday, Luke had lifted Gillian into the saddle in front of him and they were swiftly making their way back to Fairhaven.

  Gillian snuggled against Luke on the trip back. Her blanket hid the way she held his hands holding the reins against her stomach. She nuzzled the top of her head against the soft hollow of his neck. Sitting together, with the gentle rocking of the destrier’s gait, felt so right.

  The men were on their guard. Gillian had become the object of a plot and as her abductor had said, many men might be looking for the chance to collect the money. Once back at the original camp the men collected the brigand responsible for the kidnapping. He was shivering with cold, and hungry. Luke and the men had no care for his problems. They offered him the warmth of the fire but gave Gillian all the extra blankets.

  As they made camp for the night, Luke fed her bread soaked in beef broth. It was the first real meal she had attempted and slowly she forced it all down. She had gone long enough without food that her body no longer cared about it, but Luke had coaxed down every bite.

  The hardest part was sleeping in the dark. A fear of the dark had developed and the prospect of sleeping alone in the outdoors was mind freezing. She scolded herself for her stupid childish insecurities, but in the end could not overcome them.

  Luke moved away to make his bed and her body trembled with the fear that engulfed her. A sense of loss clawed at her insides. Her mouth opened to speak but no words would come out. She watched him from a distance. For a moment the panic of losing the closeness of him and the enveloping blackness of night bubbled up in her throat.

  Gillian cried out. “Luke, please I know it isn’t right, nor proper, but the darkness closes in around me and I find myself so frightened of it. Please stay close to me tonight. Please I don’t think I could bear another night alone.” There had been only a small slice of moon for the previous nights and this evening, the moon must have already set. The sky was bright only with the tiny dots of far away stars.

  There was no way Luke could deny such a request. Simon only smiled. He knew the inquiry was innocently made, but he could also see that Luke was responding like a man, and it would prove difficult for him to sleep. Gillian patted the ground on her far side, moving Dog from where she would have Luke set his bed. Dog licked her hand.

  Gillian was placed near the fire, with a promise that it would be tended all night long. She didn’t know that a guard was posted as well. Having the brigands roaming about that was part of the kidnapping plot was not assuring. He would hold her close and keep her secure and warm.

  The night was as long as he knew it would be. Holding her near was more strain than a man should have to bear. It seemed his lust forced his entire blood supply to his loins. God how he wanted her, but she was promised to another, to his father. His honor and hers were assured.

  Gillian clutched at Luke’s wide shoulders and drew him close. Burying her head under his chin, she breathed in the smell of him. Her need to feel safe and loved in his embrace was overpowering all reason she might possess to protect her heart.

  Unable to dismiss his feelings for her, the knight clung to his lady. If only she could be his. Finally the stark reality of their relationship tunneled through his raw emotions and forced him to reluctantly withdraw from her embrace. It was clear to him that his lust and bitter disappointment at not having her would endure.

  Chapter Ten

  Gillian leaned into Luke’s body. Although his leather armor was cold and hard, the protection provided a sense of security and safety she had grown to love as much as the man that inspired it. As the two jostled together to the cadence of the horse, she found herself wishing Luke was the man with whom she would raise a family.

  The match with his father had already been made, but she dreamed fanciful dreams of being held in Luke’s arms. This feeling of vulnerability made it difficult for Gillian to imagine a life without Luke by her side. In order to rid herself of these misplaced yearnings, Gillian dwelt only on the facts at hand. She was being chased by men who wanted to kill her and this young night was only here to protect her. Having warded off the guilt of loving her future husband’s son, Gillian enjoyed the few hours in the saddle before the group stopped for the noonday meal. Lush patches of grass in the open areas had grown knee high. It was a comfortable afternoon with the sun breaking through the limbs of the trees. The giant tree trunks stood thick and tall as though preserved in stone throughout time. Deeper into the woods the shadows blocked most of the sunlight, creating a dark world. Gillian started off in the direction of one of the streams that seemed to crisscross every mile of this country. Determined to provide protection, Luke followed along.

  “I am sorry for not bringing Buttercup to fetch you home, Gill,” Luke said as he caught up to her. “I believe she would have enjoyed the exercise.”

  “Yes, I believe she might at that, but I am surprised you would suggest you might possess some small measure of trust in me where she is concerned. She had been so badly frightened when I last rode her.”

  There was a mild irritation in Luke’s voice as he said, “That of course was not of your doing. If she had been hurt, it would not have been at your hands, and I believe you must understand that. I insist that you rest easy on that account.” Luke was amazed how this woman could hold onto the guilt when it was clearly the work of some passing outlaw band.

  As they walked in silence, Luke shuddered at his recollection of how he worried over her disappearance. Finally, unable to hold in his feelings any longer, he said, “I must confess, I was sufficiently worried about your current well being that I merely overlooked bringing Buttercup for you to ride.”

  “Indeed I had my own misgivings that I would be recovered. In truth, when I awoke alone in the woods, I had doubts that I had survived. The pain from the drugged tea and the total darkness convinced me I had died and was in some hellish residence.”

  Relieved by her humor, Luke chuckled at her words and then said, “My dearest Gill, however did you come to think you could ever deserve hell as your fate?”

  “I’m afraid I have many faults, Sir. I should have thought they have become quite apparent, as you have known me. As the days have passed I have worried that you would convince your father that I am not a suitable match.”

  “And those faults would include what? Perhaps you killed a spider on your last w
alk through the woods,” Luke said jokingly. He had never seen such a sweet and gentle spirit embodied in one person before, and here she was confessing as if she had sins weighing her down. “Let me see, your sin could be your failure to pray as faithfully for your uncle as you might think necessary to absolve him of his wicked ways.”

  Gillian’s spine stiffened in response to his teasing. Sins to her were serious faults; faults that required patient correction and prayer. In her heart she knew she clung to sin without any intention of correcting her ways. And those remained unpardonable when she held repentance at bay.

  “I have my share of sins, Luke,” she reminded him. “I am, after all, human.”

  “And here I believed you to be an angel,” Luke whispered.

  “You tease me.”

  Gently turning her to him, his eyes held hers. “I assure you I was most serious,” Luke said.

  Her head slightly lowered, she said, “You flatter me. I am merely mortal with all the faults associated with mortality.”

  “And what could those include?” Luke asked.

  Gillian faced him square on. She held his gaze steadily. In one bold and unexpected move, she pulled her hands next to his cheek. Rising on her tiptoes, she brushed a butterfly light kiss on his lips. Knowing it would probably be her last opportunity to feel anywhere close to love again, she savored the sweet taste of him. A soft low moan slid out easily and was caught by Luke’s mouth.

  His arms encircled her and drew her against him, as his mouth demanded more. A hand at her tiny waist and the other on her back held her in place. As if caught in a timeless ritual of love, Gillian pulled him closer and pushed her hips and breasts against him. Her body molded soft flesh against hard muscle while responding to and complying with her instinctive cravings.

  As Luke’s tongue caressed her lips ever so lightly, Gillian was not so sure she hadn’t imagined it. In response to what could easily have been an overly developed sense of imagination, she pressed her tongue to meet his and was rewarded. Fighting for intimate contact in his mouth, Gillian yielded to every advance. A soft moan of pleasure welcomed Luke’s possession. The two tongues caressed each other.

  At last Luke pushed away. His face flushed with emotion and desire.

  “I can not do this,” he said. Luke gently but firmly released his hold on Gillian’s arms. “We must not do this. Your future belongs with my father. I have dishonored you both.” As he turned away, Luke dragged his fingers through his hair in frustration.

  Gillian stood staring at the man she loved but couldn’t have. Finally, she said, “You asked what my sins could possible include. I love you and I have no wish to stop.” Gillian began to sob. For a moment she stood, her hands furiously swiping the tears from her cheeks. Then, she let her hands drop to her sides. She was no longer crying. She had a firmness in her stance, much like her voice as she said, “At some time I may learn to love your father, and if I am fortunate, he might care for me. But I should not want to go through my life never having kissed a man I loved. If I should perish today, I would be happy. I thank you for that.”

  Angrily, Luke snapped, “Do not thank me for aiding you in doing something I should never have allowed.” Luke walked a short distance away and stood, facing away from her. He waited for Gillian to wash and return. His self-loathing simmered in his stomach, roiling it into a clenching pain.

  When Gillian returned to the assembly of soldiers her eyes stayed lowered, looking only at the ground, carefully keeping her distance from Luke. She approached Simon. “How much farther to Fairhaven, Sir,” she asked.

  “But a few hours more, my lady,” Simon answered.

  “Could I walk some of it, do you think?” Gillian asked. “My body grows weary of sitting upon a horse.”

  Simon looked to Luke for some help, but Luke cast a dark look in his direction. Luke walked over to Gillian. “It is not safe for you to walk. We do not know everyone who is involved in your abduction and may need some speed if someone should approach. You shall ride with me.” He turned and walked away.

  Gillian nodded dismally and sat at the edge of the group looking back toward where they had just traveled. Her heart was broken. Any joy she had achieved with her kiss was lost for the pain she had caused both Luke and herself.

  Sent over by Luke, Simon approached. “Lady Gillian, would you like some bread and cheese? You need to keep up your strength.” His suggestion received no acknowledgement. “You have suffered in the last few days and need to recover. Take this bread and cheese.” He held the offering out and Gillian took it, but she toyed with it in her hands and never ate it

  As she stood and waited for them to mount, Gillian argued with herself over the sensibility of her childish behavior, but the pain right now was too deep to let it go. Too tormented to correct her ways, she wallowed in self-recrimination. Finally, Gillian bent over and fed the mangled food to Dog who gulped it down without tasting it.

  A few moments later, Luke led his steed over to Gillian and helped her up. He quickly assumed his position behind her. Gillian’s back stiffened to maintain distance between her and Luke. She refused to allow any further contact to shame either of them.

  “My Lady, you must be tired,” Luke whispered in her ear. “Please lean against me and rest.”

  “I thank you, but nay,” Gillian replied.

  By the time they arrived at Fairhaven, every muscle in Gillian’s upper body stung from exertion. As Luke helped her from Storm her body stiffened and she took a step back. Luke reached out to steady her, but her upturned hand warmed him off.

  “I thank you for your offer of assistance, Sir. I am fine.” Her gaze met his for the briefest instant then fell down to watch her hands. Unshed tears pooled in her eyes. “I shall never be able to thank you sufficiently for rescuing me.” Not seeking a response, the chatelaine walked stiffly into the great hall. Servants cried with happiness as she passed inside the doors.

  He knew little of women’s emotions. Most women of his acquaintance were insincere, scheming wenches wanting to bed and trap him. Gillian was the exception to everything he knew. Her candor and innocence left her vulnerable to hurt, and this day he had crushed her spirit.

  Luke watched her approach the stairs then pause. Alice drew near and listened as Gillian whispered in her ear. Alice wrapped her arm around the chatelaine’s waist. A cry of pain was wrenched free and Gillian nearly sagged to the floor. It may have been a foolish act to distance herself from him, but it had cost her dearly.

  Luke scolded himself for allowing this emotional upheaval to cause hurt in any way. He was her protector and again he had let her down. Luke rushed over and scooped Gillian up into his arms and carried her to her room.

  Keeping her distance, Katherine had watched the entire scene unfold. After Luke and Gillian and Alice had disappeared inside the manor, Katherine waited After allowing Alice some time to tend to Gillian’s needs, she approached Gillian’s room. She was just in time to see Alice leaving.

  “How does the Lady Gillian?” Katherine inquired.

  Appreciating the Leman’s concern, Alice said, “She is weak and tired, My Lady. She refuses to take food. She says she is too tired to eat.”

  “Thank you Alice. I will stay with Lady Gillian for a while and will send for you later,” Katherine ordered.

  “Yes, My Lady,” was all Alice said. Her appreciative smile was replaced with a scowl of disapproval as Alice made her way back toward the other chambers.

  Katherine approached Gillian’s room and stood before Luke’s guard posted at the door. “You may leave,” she said. “I am going to speak with the Lady Gillian. She will be well with me.”

  “I answer to Sir Luke Thornburgh, my lady, and only he can relieve me of my duties. I am to maintain watch over the Lady Gillian,” the guard replied.

  Katherine mumbled under her breath as she walked through the door to find Gillian resting in her bed.

  “Welcome back Gillian,” she said.

  “What are you
doing here?” Gillian asked. “Leave me!” She rose up in her bed but her breath caught in the effort. Any cry for help would be lost in the feeble attempt to gather enough air.

  “What do you think I am doing here? I am looking after my own interests.” Katherine hissed.

  “You have no interests in Fairhaven.”

  “You are wrong. I have many interests.”

  “Why are you doing this to me? You arranged for me to be taken from Fairhaven. Why?” the chatelaine demanded. “And why are you allowed to stay here?”

  “I told you, I’m protecting my interests. You seem not to want to share with your uncle. No one but you wants me to be gone. And I can see by the way that you and Sir Luke entered today, that I am free to resume my interest in him.”

  “Leave me,” Gillian demanded.

  “If you had any appeal at all to a man, you would have been able to tempt him during your return trip. I pity your worthless body and girlish ways. You will never hold any man’s interest and by the time you are free to hunt anew for a man, you shall have outlived any charms you might develop. You situation is pitiable.”

  “Be gone!” Gillian shouted.

  “Having a man feel sorry for your problems and aches and pains never holds any appeal. I, on the other hand, know how to please a man. I believe I shall go meet Luke’s needs. He must need a woman to release his tension from watching over a simpering little girl.”

  “I have never asked for sympathy for these injuries that have been inflicted on me. Now get out. Be gone!” Gillian screamed at Katherine.

  The door to her chamber swung open and the guard stepped in.

  “Pack your things and leave Fairhaven. You are no longer welcome here,” Gillian yelled. “Leave me! I never want to see you again.” She sat up in the bed and grimaced.

  “Oh, you will see me again,” Katherine promised. “You seem to think that you have the power to make me leave. Sir Luke will want me to stay. Watch. He will want me to warm his bed until Oliver returns. You will see me again.”