Buttons fly everywhere as I rip her shirt open and bury my head in her neck. Lifting her hips, she grinds her sweetness over my stiff cock and slips her thumbs into the waistband of her pants. Shimmying them over her hips, she drives me fucking crazy and I lean my weight into her, pressing my denim covered cock against her.
“Jesus, Lady, you’re trying to kill me,” I grunt, working her pants down to her knees. Lifting my body off hers, I peel them off the rest of way and toss them over my shoulder. Hitching her legs over my shoulders, my mouth touches the silk covering her and I groan as her fingers glide through my hair, pressing me closer. Using my teeth, I bare her pussy to my tongue and take her like a starved man.
“Oh God,” she moans, knifing up to watch me lap at her clit.
“Like that don’t you?” I ask, pushing two fingers inside her tight cunt. Her head jerks as she bites her lip and winds her arms behind her. Unclasping her bra, she drags the straps down her arms, revealing her breasts to me.
“Touch me,” she says. Taking my free hand, she presses it against her breasts. “Please.”
Lifting my gaze to her, I watch a wave of emotion flit through her brown irises. Slowly, I pull my fingers from her and drop her legs from my shoulders. Spreading myself over her, I squeeze her breast and drop my mouth to the other one. Patiently, I lap at her nipple, sucking it between my teeth. When I lift my eyes, I notice the tears sliding down her cheeks and I remove my mouth from her nipple.
“No,” she pleads, eyes locking with mine. “Please don’t stop.”
My breath hitches as I wipe her cheeks with my thumbs.
“Lady,” I soothe.
Sniffling, she leans forward and wraps her arm around my neck. Pulling me down on top of her, her lips touch my ear.
“I’m okay,” she whispers. “I just need this. I need you.”
Her words are my undoing and suddenly she’s not the only one who needs something.
Like she needs me, I need her just as bad.
Taking her mouth, I kiss her possessively and make quick work of my pants. My cock springs free and I position myself between her legs. Dipping my head, I give her what she needs and suck her pebbled nipple into my mouth. Taking what I need in return, I thrust into her, filling her to the hilt.
Her hips arch off the couch and her limbs wrap around me, holding me to her. Something snaps inside me…inside her…and we start moving like two wild animals. The sound of our bodies smacking against one another fills my ears as the scent of sex clouds the air. We fuck hard and without restraint like two people who need the other to live and when she starts to come, I realize I didn’t live a day in my life until I had her under me.
Next to me.
Rooted deep inside my soul.
Thrusting once more, I find my release and collapse on top of her. Keeping myself buried inside her, I bend my head and kiss her neck, working my way back to her mouth. Her hands find the sides of my face and she holds tight, kissing me as passionately as I fucked her.
“Thank you,” she says against my lips.
Breaking the kiss, I lean back and push the hair away from her eyes. Staring at her, I shake my head.
“No, Lady, thank you.”
She wraps her arms around me again and buries her face against my throat.
“You make me feel things I never felt before.”
Pulling out, I transfer my weight from her body and maneuver us so that I’m sitting with my back against the couch. Dragging her into my lap, I wrap my arms around her naked body and kiss the top of her head.
“Makes us even,” I say, catching my breath.
Neither of us say another word after that and for a long while we sit on the couch, naked, wrapped in one another’s arms. When a chill runs up her spine, I grab the throw blanket from the back of the couch and wrap it around her. She lays her head against my chests and traces the words inked to my rib cage with her finger.
Finish living.
“Will you get my phone for me?” she murmurs softly.
“Yeah,” I reply hoarsely.
She shuffles off my lap, tightening the blanket around her body as I lift myself off the couch. Grabbing my jeans, I pull them on but leave the button undone as I take the phone out of her pants pocket. Sitting beside her, I glance down at the phone in my hand and swallow.
Until this moment, I didn’t care about the results.
Now, I’m just as fucking terrified as her.
Taking the phone from my hand, she brings up her voicemail and puts it on speaker mode.
Draping my arm around her shoulders, she curls into me and taps her finger to the screen, playing the message.
“Hi Maria, this is Dr. Kennedy. The results of the biopsy are in and I would like for you to come into the office, so we can discuss further. I had my staff block out tomorrow’s first available appointment for you. If you can’t make it, you can call the office in the morning otherwise, I will see you then.”
Pipe was right, when you’ve got everything, you’ve got everything to lose.
Chapter Twenty-four
“Whatever happens it’s you and me, Lady,” Al murmurs, mindlessly.
After spending the night at his house, he took me home where I showered and dressed for my doctor’s appointment. Somewhere between last night and this morning, it became clear I was not doing this on my own and there was no question of whether Al would be taking me to the appointment or not. Now, he holds my hand tightly as we wait for the doctor to deliver my fate and I’m not sure who is more worried.
“Gonna need to hear the words,” he says, turning to me.
“Whatever happens it’s you and me, Al,” I assure him.
He gives me a nod and lifts our joined hands, brushing his lips across my knuckles. The door opens behind us causing us both to glance over our shoulders. Dr. Kennedy walks in first and is followed by the radiologist and a man dressed in a lab coat that I’ve never seen before.
“Mrs. Bianci,” Dr. Kennedy greets, taking a seat across from me. The radiologist and the other doctor both pull chairs on either side of her. Once everyone is seated, she places my closed chart on top of the desk and folds her hands.
“This is Dr. Peterson, the head of oncology here at the hospital.”
Tearing my eyes away from the trio of doctors, I turn to Al and watch him close his eyes briefly. Instinctively his hand squeezes mine. Opening his eyes, he meets my gaze and his words ring loud and clear.
You’re not alone.
I’ve got you.
It’s you and me, Lady.
You and me.
“The results of the biopsy conclude that there are two malignant tumors in your right breast. One is measuring at three centimeters and the other is approximately four centimeters,” Dr. Kennedy reveals.
“What does that mean?” I ask hoarsely.
Even though I already know the answer to my question, I need to hear her say it for it to sink in. For this nightmare to become my reality, I need to hear the dreaded word.
“I’m sorry Maria,” she says softly. “It’s stage two breast cancer.”
Breast cancer.
You’re not alone.
I’ve got you.
It’s you and me, Lady.
You and me.
“The good news is, it seems we caught it early. There was no trace of cancer cells in the lymph nodes we tested, and it’s contained to the right breast.”
I open my mouth to speak, to ask one of the million questions running through my mind but nothing comes out. My body goes rigid, and it takes every ounce of strength to keep my tears at bay.
“Okay,” Al murmurs. “So, where do we go from here? What are her options?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t think I caught your name,” Dr. Kennedy says.
“Al,” he replies. “Now that we got that out of the way, tell us how we beat it.”
You’re not alone.
I’ve got you.
It’s you and me, Lady.
Y
ou and me.
“If I may,” Dr. Peterson interrupts, looking between me and Al. “I’d like to start by telling you that your case is very treatable. The survival rate for stage two breast cancer is ninety-three percent. The fact that it isn’t in your lymph nodes is a major plus,” he assures. “There are several ways we can treat this but the most effective would be a mastectomy.”
“You want to remove my breast?” I ask.
The dam breaks and the tears fall.
You’re not alone.
I’ve got you.
It’s you and me, Lady.
You and me.
“My first choice of treatment would be to remove the breast. Recovery would be around four weeks and then I propose radiation for five to six weeks afterward.”
Radiation.
You’re not alone.
I’ve got you.
It’s you and me, Lady.
You and me.
“She wouldn’t need chemo?” Al asks.
“As of now, no. From what we see there are only two tumors. Once we take the breast, they’ll be removed. She should be cancer free after that but, I’d rather be safe than sorry and that’s why I’m suggesting the radiation.”
“So, it’s more of a precautionary thing.”
“As of now, yes,” he confirms. Pausing for a beat, he turns to me. “Do you have any questions, Maria?”
“What about the other breast?”
“Well, like I said it’s not in the left breast. Does that mean the cancer won’t return? No, should that occur, we would have to go in again and more than likely remove it.”
“And if I take them both now?”
“The odds of it returning are less.”
“Take them both.”
You’re not alone.
I’ve got you.
It’s you and me, Lady.
You and me.
“Are you sure?”
The only thing I’m sure of is that I don’t want to die.
“If living means taking both breasts, then take both now,” I murmur, biting back a sob. Drawing in a deep breath, I find the courage to turn my attention to Al.
You’re not alone.
I’ve got you.
It’s you and me, Lady.
You and me.
“I’m not finished living,” I whisper.
He brings our joined hands to his lips once again and with his eyes full of unshed tears he winks at me.
“You and me, Lady,” he says hoarsely.
You’re not alone.
Chapter Twenty-five
It was a lot to absorb. One minute we were holding hands, silently praying for a miracle, the next we were both frozen with shock, scheduling an appointment for a double mastectomy. If I was having a difficult time taking it all in, I could only imagine how she felt and what she was thinking. While I kept reminding myself, the prognosis was good she was digesting the fact she would be losing a piece of herself and I didn’t know how to make that right.
“I have to call my kids,” she says hoarsely.
It’s the first time she’s spoken since we left the doctor’s office and it causes me to tear my eyes away from the road in front of me.
“You want me to do that for you?”
“No,” she says, glancing back at me. “I’d like it if you were with me when I told them though.”
“Whatever you need,” I reply.
She nods before looking away and getting lost in her thoughts. Five minutes later, I pull the Charger into her driveway. Before I can round the car and open the door, she slams it shut and walks past me. Shoving my hands in my pockets, I blow out a breath and follow her up the walkway. She fumbles with the keys for a moment before, I take them from her trembling hands. Unlocking the door, I step aside and let her in. I close the door behind me and watch as she digs inside her bag for her phone.
Giving her some privacy, I work at taking my boots off and make my way into the kitchen. Finding a half open bottle of Rosé in the refrigerator, I pour her a glass. Bracing my hands on the counter, I hang my head as I realize this is the first time I can’t fix something.
I can’t ride to her rescue.
I can’t scour the country for a cure.
All I can do is stand here and hold her hand.
Pour her a glass of wine and pray.
Remembering my grandmother’s rosary, I pull them from my back pocket. My thumb traces the cross and I send up a silent prayer. After a moment, I collect my bearings and grab the glass of wine. As soon as I step into the living room, I hear her release a sob. Setting the glass on the coffee table, I kneel in front of her and pull her into my arms. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I assure her I’ve got her, that she’s not alone.
“Let it out, Lady.”
“What am I going to tell them?” she cries.
“You’re going to tell them you have cancer and then you’re going to tell them you’re going to fight with everything in you,” I say, stroking her back. “You’re going to tell them the truth they already know, you were a survivor long before you were diagnosed with anything,” I add softly.
As far as I’m concerned, that’s the only truth worth knowing.
Maria has survived some shit in her life.
This is just another thing on the warrior's list.
“Thank you,” she whispers, pulling back from me. Sniffling, she wipes her eyes and takes a deep breath.
“Here,” I say, reaching for the wine glass. “Maybe this will calm you down.”
“I’m going to become a drunk,” she jokes.
“That’s what AA is for,” I reply, running the tip of my finger down the slope of her nose. “We’ve got this, Lady.”
Holding the glass in one hand, she reaches up and wraps her delicate fingers around my wrist without tearing her eyes from mine.
“I’m only going to say this once.”
Judging by the sorrowful look in her eyes, I already know what she’s going to say, and I quickly shake my head.
“Let me just say it,” she pleads.
“I thought we already said everything we needed to say.”
“That was before we knew.”
“And knowing still don’t change anything for me,” I assure her. “I’m not going anywhere, Maria. You’re fucking stuck with me throughout the duration of this. You get a clean bill of health and decide I’m not good enough, we’ll revisit this conversation and even then, I’m not sure I’ll let you go. I’m selfish when it comes to getting what I want and all I want is you.”
“Al, they’re removing my breasts.”
“Small part of a great package.”
“Stop saying all the right things.”
Taking both her hands, I press my lips to each before touching my forehead to hers.
“We’ll figure it out, Lady, but, you gotta be here for us to do that. I’m not going to pretend I know what you’re feeling but, I can tell you wholeheartedly, I’m more of an ass man than a tit man.”
Then, right there in the middle of misery, something beautiful happens.
Maria throws her head back and lets out a laugh.
An honest to God, genuine laugh and the sound soothes all that’s wrong.
It’s a sound full of hope.
Of strength.
And of courage.
Bringing her eyes back to me, she wraps her arms around my neck and smiles through the sadness, through the fear and the heartbreak. Lifting both hands to her cheeks, my thumbs caress the outline of her jaw and I inhale a sharp breath.
“We’re riding on the edge,” I rasp, staring into those beautiful soulful eyes of hers.
“On the edge of what?”
“Something beautiful,” I reply.
I’ve learned nothing in this life comes easy and to find the beautiful we first must ride through the misery and sorrow. It’s what makes us humble at the end of our journey.
“You’re going to make me fall in love with you, aren’t you?”
<
br /> “Fast and hard, Lady,” I swear, inching closer to her.
Bringing my mouth to hers, I seal the deal giving her a glimpse of the beautiful we’ll create together. Holding me tight, she returns the kiss and for a single moment, it’s just us.
Me and her against the fucking world.
The doorbell rings, killing the sliver of serenity and forcing us apart. Giving her a moment to compose herself, I rise to my feet. The bell is accompanied by an impatient knock, making it clear Anthony is on the other side of the door.
“You good?” I question.
“This is as good as it gets.”
With a nod, I pull the door open and stare into a pair of cold blue eyes.
“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t knock you out?”
“Jesus, Anthony, stop it would you?” Lauren says, pushing him out of the way.
“I saw what he benches, Wolf, I’d fucking run if I was you,” Riggs says from behind him.
“His bark is bigger than his bite,” Adrianna argues.
“That’s enough,” Maria says, coming to stand beside me.
“You’ve been crying,” Anthony points out, glaring at me. “I’m going to fucking kill you.”
“Stop it!” Maria yells, placing her hand on my shoulder. “I want him here.”
“Not looking to hurt your mother,” I assure hurricane hitman. He and I are going to have to have a talk. I don’t know how much gangster shit I’m going to tolerate before I show him who the fuck is the real boss here.
“Mom, you’re making me nervous,” Lauren says, looking between us.
“Where are the kids?” Maria asks.
“Riggs’ parents are visiting,” she explains.
“Victoria and Luca are with my mother,” Adrianna adds.
“Come in and sit down in the living room,” Maria orders. Taking my hand, she leads me away from the door and we take a seat next to one another on the couch. Her children crowd around the living room and Anthony’s eyes drill a hole into the hand I have on his mother’s knee.
Riding The Edge Page 18