The Complete Deadland Saga
Page 62
“But there are others who aren’t as fucked up,” he said, sounding utterly helpless.
I came to my feet, cupped his cheeks, and looked down into his eyes. “I accept you exactly the way you are. We’ll deal with your nightmares and shit together. But, you have to meet me halfway. You have to accept yourself first.”
His brows tightened when I bent down and kissed him. He didn’t kiss back, but at least he didn’t pull away.
I straightened. “You don’t have to be with me if you don’t want to be. Don’t run away because you don’t think you’re worth it. I know you’re worth it.”
I didn’t wait for a response. I headed inside and up to bed.
Clutch never came upstairs.
Chapter VII
For the first time in weeks, I awoke feeling fully rested. I would’ve slept later except for the forgotten sound of a toilet flushing snapped me from dark dreams.
I stood and stretched. The small scar—the one shaped like a bullet hole on my calf—burned just like it did every morning until the muscle loosened. Once my old wound quit sending tiny spears of fire through my leg, I headed out into the hall and ran into Deb exiting the bathroom with a hand over her mouth.
I frowned. “Morning sickness?”
She nodded, swallowed, and then turned right back around and disappeared into the bathroom again.
I shook my head slowly and went down to the kitchen to make her some tea, one of the few foods not counted against our weekly rations. It took another ten minutes before she reappeared. Back when Deb announced she was pregnant, Doc had estimated she was about four months along since she had started to show. That was a month ago. Deb was losing weight with every passing week since there were fewer and fewer things she could stomach. Vicki had said it was normal for certain women to be sick throughout their entire pregnancy, but I had seen the worry even in her eyes.
I watched Deb as she slowly took a seat at the table and rested her head on her crossed arms.
When she didn’t move, I spoke softly. “How are you doing?”
She raised her head ever so slowly and took a deep breath. “As well as can be expected for being knocked up after the end of the world.”
I winced. “When you put it that way…”
She slowly leaned back. “Sorry. I’m not trying to be a Debbie Downer—”
A sharp burst of laughter escaped before I could muffle it.
“The name fits,” she said with a shrug. “After everything we’ve been through, I should be thankful to be in a real house with real electricity and an honest-to-god working toilet. I’m tired of being tired and sick and cranky. I blame it on the hormones. Those prenatal vitamins are awful for nausea. The smell of oatmeal makes me sick, yet I would kill for a breakfast burrito with jalapeños right now. Go figure.”
I handed her a cup. “I’m running low on jalapeños at the moment, but how about some tea? It’s the real thing.”
She grimaced before reaching out for it. “Not quite the same, but it seems to be one of the few things I can keep down.”
While Deb and I sat in silence, sipping our tea, I heard the rustle of others getting ready for the day. Vicki was the first to make an appearance. She poured herself a cup and then waved as she headed to the door. “I’ll see you after work.”
Deb pushed herself to her feet. “I should be going, too.”
I put my hand on her shoulder. “Rest. They’ll understand.”
“Late for my first day? I don’t think so.”
“Trust me,” I said. “They know you’re pregnant. They’ll understand.”
She watched me for a moment and then sunk back into her seat. “Thank you.”
Clutch walked stiffly in. He eyed us both before heading to the teapot and pouring himself a cup. Whereas my calf ached, Clutch had to deal with an entire body that had taken more abuse than most bodies were made to handle. Dislocated joints and vertebrae, broken bones, and too many years of treating his body like an ATV were taking their toll. Headaches, stiffness, pinched nerves, and aches plagued him. Especially in the mornings.
After several long sips of tea, he turned around to make eye contact. “Ready to head?”
It was just like Clutch to pretend last night never happened. I pursed my lips. “I just need to grab my coat,” I replied before turning back to Deb. “Need me to pick you up anything?”
She glanced at me hopefully.
“Anything except a breakfast burrito?” I added.
She sighed. “If that’s the case, then, no.”
“Is it morning already?” Jase said as he dragged himself down the hall with his eyes still closed, impressively not walking into anything.
“The sun’s been up for ten minutes,” Clutch said.
We both smiled, and Jase scowled. Even with an unpleasant expression, Jase looked more refreshed than he had in a long time. For being the opposite of a morning person, he woke up without his usual grumpiness. He hadn’t even snapped at Clutch or me yet.
It made me realize just how exhausted we’d been. A single day at New Eden, and the difference was palpable. There was optimism in the air that I hadn’t felt since we’d first arrived at the river barge. I hated to be too hopeful, especially when I didn’t yet trust Justin or the people of New Eden, but I couldn’t help but think New Eden could become home.
A place where Clutch, Jase, and I would be safe. Together.
“Are you all right?” Clutch asked.
I snapped back to reality. “Yeah. Let’s get to work.”
* * *
The next nine days were a blur of working, eating, and sleeping. We each worked ten-hour shifts doing menial jobs around New Eden. The first three days, I helped clean all the public facilities. The men were tasked to help transform an old drugstore into a community center.
The only adult member of our group who didn’t work was Deb. Marco paid a visit to Justin on the first morning. That evening, Justin had made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that Deb was on bed rest until she had written permission from Dr. Edmund, New Eden’s one and only physician.
Surprisingly, Benji was required to attend school. Diesel was even allowed to accompany the boy as long as the dog didn’t distract the other six students. Since Benji had loved school before the outbreak, he had awakened before everyone else for his first day of school.
When all ten of us were together, the topic always returned to whether we’d stay at New Eden. Winter was lurking around the corner. We still had enough time to make it back to Fox Park, but we had no idea what we’d find there. New Eden seemed safe, but we were the outsiders here.
We all knew Marco was staying. He’d made it clear, just like he’d made it clear he wanted us—especially Deb—to stay.
On the second night, Frost said he was staying. He had Benji to think of, and he was convinced New Eden was the best place for the boy.
Deb’s announcement came the following night. She was terrified of having a baby on the road and wanted to stay at New Eden at least until the baby was born. Here, she had a roof over her head, a semblance of medical care, and a perception of safety. Marco was ecstatic—he had a knack of always showing up whenever Deb needed something. Justin was especially happy that Deb would pledge allegiance to New Eden. Hers would be the first birth at New Eden, and everyone treated her as though she was the Virgin Mary.
On that same night, Vicki said she’d stay with Deb.
Jase announced he wanted to return to Fox Park at the first sign of spring, but he said he’d go wherever we went. He firmly believed the park was where we belonged, and Hali agreed. The teenagers had formed a fast friendship during her early days at Camp Fox—notably, right after her father tried to sell her for their safety.
As for the rest of us, we were still undecided. I had no doubt Clutch would go wherever I went, and vice versa. Despite our issues, Clutch wouldn’t give up on me. I knew it.
Griz was tight-lipped, which was rare for him. He’d formed a fast friendship with Ma
rco, but as a Ranger, he was a kindred spirit with Clutch. I suspected he’d go wherever he believed he could do the most good.
Tension around our indecision grew with each passing day. We craved to return to Fox Park…but we needed the safety of New Eden for the winter. Unfortunately, Justin gave us ten days, not a season, to pledge fealty. Then again, it wasn’t like they could keep us here if we wanted to leave in the spring. Or, could they?
On the tenth day, while I was delivering lunches to the seven patrol officers on duty, Justin found me. I’d been trying to avoid him after Clutch told me Justin had cornered him the day earlier. I was one of those people who, before the outbreak, had always said ‘yes’ to everyone. It didn’t matter if it was a party at someone’s house, a request from a charity, or asking for a helping hand, I had always been the sucker.
As Justin and Charlie approached, I looked for a way out. I’d finished my last delivery and had a lunch break. I couldn’t pretend I hadn’t seen them. We’d already made eye contact. I looked to the left and to the right but saw no chance for escape, only a cat watching me from its perch on a window.
Charlie smiled and nodded toward the animal. “The cats keep the mice away. Luckily, they don’t get sick like the dogs do. They’ve never gone after the zeds. There must be enough mice to keep them content.”
Justin handed me a steaming mug. “I thought you might like some hot cocoa.”
“Thanks,” I said when he handed it to me.
“I ran into Clutch yesterday,” Justin began.
I nodded. “He mentioned it.”
He continued. “Today’s your tenth day at Camp Fox. Have you reached a decision yet?”
I frowned. “Don’t we have until tomorrow morning to give you our answer?”
“You do. I was wondering if you were on the fence. If so, I was going to see if we could answer any questions to help you make your decision.”
“You’ve been more than fair to us,” I said after a moment. “If we choose not to stay, it’s not because of how we’ve been treated here. New Eden is a good community. You’re good people.”
Pride beamed through Justin’s smile. “We try to do our best with what we have. We may not have much choice in what’s thrown at us, but we do have a choice in how we cope. Free will may be the one thing that saves us.”
“We have incoming!” someone shouted, and I twisted around to the front gate.
Justin ran toward the guard who’d yelled, and I jogged behind him. Already, two more guards were racing toward our position.
The first guard pointed to at least four vehicles in the distance. “It’s still too far away to make out if I’ve seen any of those vehicles before. I can’t tell if it’s Black Sheep or friendlies right now.”
“Call in all reinforcements,” Justin said. “If they’re launching a frontal assault, they won’t find us to be easy prey.”
“I’ve got it,” one of the men said and took off.
“Give me a gun,” I said. “I can help.”
Justin watched me for a moment and then nodded. “Charlie, send all nonessential personnel to the silo. Arm anyone, including the Fox Group, who wants to be out here with us.”
Charlie nodded and then took off running.
The newcomers slowed as they approached, and I counted five—not four vehicles as I’d originally thought. An old blue truck in lead had a long stick with a white sheet tied to it.
“They’re here in peace,” Justin said, though he didn’t sound exactly confident.
A dozen armed guards lined up behind the fence’s concrete pillars, showing a clear display of force. By the time the vehicles came to a stop, another fifty men were running toward us with weapons.
Clutch handed me my rifle. My hands instantly remembered the weight and feel of the weapon. It took me only a couple seconds to check to see that it was still fully loaded. I saw he had his Blaser rifle, and I smiled. “Just like old times, huh?”
He smirked. “Just like it.” Then he noticed Justin, and his face hardened. “What’s your protocol for dealing with threats?”
Justin nodded to the vehicles. “They’re flying a white flag. We give them a chance to state their case. If they show us no hostility and don’t pose a threat to New Eden, we’ll allow them to come in under quarantine conditions.”
“And if they pose a threat?” Clutch asked.
“Then we refuse them entry.”
“That’s all?” I asked.
Justin frowned. “No. We used to have one of our squadrons follow them to ensure they left. Showing we outman and outgun them has always been enough to scare off bandits. Let’s hope that’s enough today if these guys mean us harm, because we’re running desperately low on firepower.”
Clutch muttered something under his breath. “We’ll have to ramp up New Eden’s forces.”
“We’re a town, not a military installation.”
“There’s no difference, not anymore,” Clutch said.
Jase and Griz came running toward us. They were covered in sawdust and still wearing their work gloves. Before reaching us, they paused and grabbed rifles off a stack of guns on an ATV parked nearby.
“Sit rep?” Griz asked when they met us.
“The situation is five vehicles flying a white flag,” I responded quickly. “We don’t know if they’re friendly yet.”
“So they haven’t shown any signs of aggression?” Griz countered.
“They haven’t shown their hand yet,” Clutch said, and then he nodded toward the newcomers. “But it looks like we’ll find out soon enough.”
Two men stepped from the blue truck. They held their open hands in the air as they approached, one with a limp. Both men were terribly ragged, with soiled clothes and matted hair. One man lowered his arms to hold his ribs, but the other nudged, and he raised his hands again. No other people stepped out of the remaining vehicles.
“Jesus,” I said. “These guys are in rough shape.”
Justin moved toward the gate, and we each took a position behind vehicles, barrels, and poles, aiming our weapons at the newcomers. He glanced back at us as though making sure we were ready. Then, he turned back to the pair of newcomers. “Stop right there. That’s close enough.”
The men did as they were told and stood ten feet from Justin, with only the wire gate between them.
Justin spoke first. “Welcome to New Eden. Put any weapons you might be carrying on the ground.”
“We don’t have any on us,” the taller of the two men said. “We left them in the truck.”
Justin nodded to one of the sentries. Charlie opened the gate for the sentry to squeeze through and walk up to the two men, careful to stay out of our line of fire should the pair be violent.
The sentry checked the one who’d spoken, then the other, shorter man. He stepped back and held up a small revolver he’d taken from the second man. He tucked the revolver into his belt and backed off to the side, keeping his own firearm leveled on the newcomers.
Justin shook his head. “Lying isn’t a way to earn trust.”
“I need to protect myself. I wasn’t planning on using it,” he said.
“We need your help,” the taller of the two men said.
“We got no place to stay. We were run out,” the second man added.
Justin held up a hand. “I’ll hear your case, but only when I know you don’t intend to cause trouble. So, here’s how it’s going to work. I ask the questions. You answer them. Do you understand?”
They nodded. The shorter man spoke again. “Will you let us in then?”
Justin wagged his finger. “Tut, tut. Didn’t you listen? I’m the one asking the questions. And, if I happen to not believe you or don’t like your answers, you will not be allowed entrance.”
The taller man punched his compatriot in the arm. “Shut up, you idiot. You trying to get us killed?” The smaller one glared and clenched his fists but didn’t speak. I kept my rifle leveled on him.
“Let’s start over,” J
ustin said. “How many are in your party?”
“Nineteen. No, twenty-one counting Jim and me,” the taller man said.
“Where are you coming from?” Justin asked.
“North of here,” the man replied after a pause.
Justin narrowed his gaze. “Exactly how far north? That’s Black Sheep territory.”
The pair fidgeted, and I inhaled. “They’re bandits,” I said.
Justin glanced at me, and he gave a tight nod before turning back to the newcomers. “Black Sheep aren’t welcome here. You can turn around and leave now.”
The taller man tamped the air. “I ain’t going to lie and try to deny it. Yeah, we were Sheep. But, we ain’t Sheep no more. Once Hodge disappeared, we started to break apart. Then, we were attacked by some group of crazy survivors. After that, the mutts started to pick us off one by one. We got nothing. We’re starving and about out of gas. If we stay out here, we’re gonna die. Please, let us in. I never did anything wrong against New Eden, I swear it on my momma’s grave.”
Marco walked up to stand by Justin. “When did Hodge disappear?” he asked the Black Sheep.
“A month ago, maybe,” he replied. “I don’t know for sure. He took some guys out east to clear the river but never came back.”
I smiled and glanced at Clutch. He caught my gaze with the same look. Hope.
I had shot at Hodge a few weeks ago but was sure I’d missed.
His gang had attacked us in the middle of the night. We’d set up camp in the middle of a massive sporting goods store on the banks of the Mississippi River. Our security had been lax that night. Hours earlier on that same day, we’d survived having our last home burn to the ground and were exhausted. We paid dearly for our mistake. Nearly all of Camp Fox was murdered; leaving only nine of us to remember.
Hodge had been the only bandit to escape, and I carried the shame of letting him get away. Now, the possibility that he hadn’t survived lifted a metric ton off my chest.