kimangamanga (Gilbertese, Oceania) a person with a ridiculous walk and defective bottom
sjøstygg (Norwegian) being so ugly that the tide won’t come in if you’re on the shore (literally, sea ugly)
skreeulelik (Afrikaans) scream ugly (i.e. so frightening as to make the viewer scream)
être moche à caler des roués de corbillard (French) to be extremely ugly (literally, to be ugly enough to stop the wheels of a hearse)
Diving fish, swooping geese
In China, many hundreds of years ago, a poet said of the great beauty Hsi Chi that when she went for a walk fish dived deeper, geese swooped off their course, and deer ran into the forest before her beauty. Therefore, instead of saying a woman is as beautiful as Hsi Chi, in Chinese one simply says the four words ch’en yü, le yen, diving fish, swooping geese.
You beautiful creature
In other languages the comparison with animals may be even more direct. In Arabic, a beautiful woman is spoken of as having yoon al ghrazaali, the eyes of the gazelle. Similar metaphorical expressions abound:
miyulesa (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) a woman with eyes like a deer’s
omïrïghlïgh (Khakas, Siberia) a person having a beautiful bearing in the same way that a horse has a strong chest
kati-keharī (Hindi) having the waist of an elegant lion (used of an attractive woman)
And what do women want?
The men of the Wodaabe (a nomadic tribe of Central and East Africa) perform the yaake, a competition of charm and personality judged by young women. Performing the yaake, a man who can hold one eye still and roll the other is considered particularly alluring by the judges.
karlakarl (Swedish) a real man
bellone (Italian) a hunk who’s rather too pleased with himself
tarzan (Hebrew) a dandy
armoire à glace (French) a great hulking brute (literally, a wardrobe of ice cream)
Double Valentine
In Japan, Valentine’s Day is celebrated on two different dates: 14 February, when girls are allowed to express their love to boys by presenting chocolate; and 14 March, known as White Day, when the male has to return the gift he received. Chocolates given sincerely on these days are honmei-choko, true-feeling chocolates. However, women are also obliged to give chocolates to all the men in their lives, meaning large numbers of co-workers, bosses, etc. These are known as giri-choko, obligatory chocolates.
My Japanese prints
The Hindi language has sandesh-kā vya, describing a poetic form where the lover sends his message of love and yearning to his beloved through clouds or birds. The Mailu language of Papua New Guinea has oriori, a boy’s song to attract a girl. Aspiring Western Romeos often prefer a more basic approach:
war dein Vater ein Dieb? Weil er die Sterne vom Himmel gestohlen hat um sie dir in die Augen zu setzen (German) Was your father a thief ? Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes
scusa, baci gli sconosciuti? No? Allora, mi presento … (Italian) Excuse me, do you kiss strangers? No? Well, let me introduce myself …
venez voir mes estampes japonaises (French) Why don’t you come up and see my Japanese prints
Hit by a basket
Not all approaches are necessarily welcome:
echar(le) los perros a alguien (Latin American Spanish) to flirt with, make a pass at someone (literally, to set the dogs on someone)
oshi no itte (Japanese) to pursue someone aggressively; to not take no for an answer (literally, pushing and pushing alone)
dostat košem (Czech) to flirt with or hit on somebody who isn’t interested and turns you down (literally, to be hit by a basket)
dikupu (Setswana, Botswana) stubs or stumps of hands or legs (said teasingly by women to a man who shows no interest in them)
Octopussy
And there are some guys who just don’t get the message at all:
atracador (Latin American Spanish) a person who feels up a woman; someone whose sexual advances are heavy-handed and unwelcome (literally, mugger)
ozhappu edukkaradhu (Tamil) an act of sexual harassment perpetrated against female passengers in a crowded bus or train
el pulpo (Spanish) someone who is ‘all hands’, who likes to touch women inappropriately (literally, octopus)
Gooseberry
However well or badly it’s going, in matters of romance, two’s company, but three is very definitely a crowd:
tocar el violin (Chilean Spanish) a person who uncomfortably accompanies an amorous couple (literally, to play the violin)
segurando a vela (Portuguese) to be the third wheel on a date (literally, holding the candle)
False friends
sleep (Afrikaans) girlfriend or boyfriend
titì (Tagalog, Philippines) penis
poluzzione (Italian) semen
Puff (German) brothel
spunk (Scots) a spark of fire
bite (French) penis
chain (Yiddish) charm
See-you-home wolf
Beware those for whom the habit has become more important than the object:
Schuerzenjaeger (German) someone who chases after women (literally, a hunter of aprons)
amoureux d’une chèvre coiffée (French) a man who is attracted to every woman he sees (literally, a lover of a goat whose fur is combed)
buaya darat (Indonesian) a man who fools women into thinking he’s a very faithful lover when in fact he goes out with many different women at the same time (literally, land crocodile)
okuri-okami (Japanese) a man who feigns thoughtfulness by offering to see a girl home only to try to molest her once he gets in the door (literally, a see-you-home wolf)
tlazolmiquiztli (Aztec) the stench which emanates from adulterers
No sweat
For the less sophisticated, courtship can be full of confusing obstacles and hard work:
castigar (Latin American Spanish) purposely to ignore your boyfriend or girlfriend in order to heighten their yearning for you
janeleiro (Portuguese) said of one who spends a lot of time at the front window, especially a young woman who is something of a coquette
talisuyò (Tagalog, Philippines) the work done by a man to win a lady’s hand
shvitzer (Yiddish) someone who sweats a lot (especially a nervous seducer)
otenkiya (Japanese) someone who blows hot and cold (literally, weatherman)
Peppery-hot
So we can only hope that sincere feeling will win the day:
cay (Vietnamese) to be peppery-hot; to have a passion for
an jemandem einen Affen gefressen haben (German) to be infatuated with someone (literally, to have eaten a monkey in someone)
ciğerimin köşesinden (Turkish) to love someone from the bottom of your heart (literally, from the corner of your liver)
avoir des atomes crochus (French) to really hit it off (literally, to have hooked atoms)
Mouth relaxation
Comes the magic moment when the mental can at last become physical:
oxsanïstïr (Khakas, Siberia) to let oneself be kissed
conk (Hindi) the imprint of a kiss
smirikin (Scots) a stolen kiss
şap şap öpmek (Turkish) to kiss by making a smacking noise with the lips
csókolgat (Hungarian) to shower with kisses
cupang (Indonesian) a love bite (literally, Siamese fighting fish)
Spider feet
Then how easy life can be:
afilar (Argentinian Spanish) to chat with your sweetheart
gemas (Indonesian) a feeling of finding something or somebody so cute that you want to squeeze or pinch it
cafuné (Brazilian Portuguese) the loving, tender running of one’s fingers through the hair of one’s mate (from the act of a favoured slave who picked lice out of the slavemaster’s child’s hair)
cwtch (Welsh) to hug and snuggle up in a loving way
faire des pattes d’araignée (French) to touch lightly with the fingertips (literally, to
make spider feet)
The Paraguayan way
One thing leads to another and soon events move to a whole new level. As the Russians say, ‘Snyavshi shtany, po volosam ne gladyat’, once you’ve taken off your pants it’s too late to look at your hair:
zulana (Mambwe, Zambia) to undress one another
lapóng (Tagalog, Philippines) sexual foreplay with the breasts
ikibari (Japanese) a lively needle, if a man is willing but under-endowed
Notstandt (German) an emergency erection
hacerlo a la paraguaya (Chilean Spanish) to have sex standing up (literally, the Paraguayan way)
voir la feuille à l’envers (French) to have sex under a tree (literally, to see the leaf from underneath)
rabu hoteru (Japanese) hotels especially for making love
The little death
The Maguindanaon language of the Philippines uses the same word, lembu, to describe both an orgasm and the fat of animals, whereas descriptions in other languages dwell on the intensity of the experience:
şiddetli heyecan (Turkish) literally, drastic excitement
höchste Wallung (German) literally, maximum bubbling
Secrets and lies
Such compelling activity brings with it, in some societies, a whole new set of excitements and problems:
Fensterln (German) the act of climbing a ladder to a woman’s window, bypassing the parents and chaperones, to have sex in the night
besengkayau (Iban, Sarawak and Brunei) to hang by the hands from a beam and move along it hand over hand (done by young men courting at night to avoid walking on the springy and creaking floor)
miàla màndry (Malagasy, Madagascar) to spend the night away from home and yet be back in the early morning as if never having been away
un petit cinq-à-sept (French) a quick five to seven o’clock (an afternoon quickie with your lover before going home to your spouse)
On reflection
In Rome love will come to you suddenly
Palindromes – words and sentences that read the same forwards and backwards – have been popular since ancient times. The Germans have even come up with a palindromic word – Eibohphobie – that means a fear of palindromes:
a dyma’r addewid diweddar am y da (Welsh) and here is the recent promise about the livestock
socorram-me, subi no onibus em Marrocos (Portuguese) help me I took a bus in Morocco
Selmas lakserøde garagedøre skal samles (Danish) Selma’s salmon red garage doors must be assembled
ein Neger mit Gazelle zagt im Regen nie (German) a Negro with a gazelle never despairs in the rain
Roma tibi subito motibus ibit amor (Latin) in Rome love will come to you suddenly
Thanks for the treat
In Japan, norokeru means to boast in an annoying way about your great relationship, while gochisosama is a sarcastic reply (literally, thanks for the treat). But good, bad or too-perfect-to-be-true, in reality relationships come in all varieties:
sarbo (Dutch) a person who regularly sleeps with the same partner while living separately
nanoua (Gilbertese, Oceania) a heart divided between two loves
kutzwagers (Dutch) two or more men who have slept with the same woman
stroitel’ (Russian) a man who likes to have sex with two women at the same time
Fried fish enthusiasm
The Germans have come up with some very useful descriptions of the nuances of modern love:
die Bettgeschichte a one-night stand (literally, bedtime story)
das Bratkartoffelverhältnis someone who cooks and cleans in exchange for occasional affection (literally, home-fries affair)
Lückenfüller the person one dates between two serious relationships (literally, hole-filler)
Backfischschwärmerei the crush young teenage girls get for older men (literally, fried fish enthusiasm)
Faded tomatoes
Relationships come in all lengths too. If it’s not going to end in marriage or a seemly long-term partnership without legal ties, there inevitably must come the brutal moment when one has to tell the other that things are no longer rosy in the garden of love:
Trennungsagentur (German) a man hired by women to break the news to their men that they are dumped (literally, separation agent)
dejar clavado a alguien (Spanish) to dump someone, to stand them up (literally, to leave someone nailed)
dostat kopačky (Czech) to be dumped (literally, to get football boots)
dar calabazas (Spanish) to jilt, ignore or stand someone up; to reject a marriage proposal (literally, to give pumpkins)
il due di picche (Italian) to be dumped (literally, the two of spades, as in the card you are given)
proshla mlyubov’ zavyali pomidory (Russian) the love affair is over (literally, love is gone, the tomatoes have faded)
IDIOMS OF THE WORLD
Once bitten, twice shy
el gato escaldado del agua caliente huye (Spanish) the cat that has been scalded runs away from hot water
sütten ağizi yanan yoğurdu üfleyerek yer (Turkish) if hot milk burns your mouth, you’ll blow the yoghurt before you eat it
brændt barn skyer ilden (Danish) a burned child is shy of fire
puganaya vorona kusta/telezhnogo skripa/sobstvennoj teni/boitsya (Russian) a spooked crow is afraid of a bush/a carriage wheel’s squeak/its own shadow
mtafunwa na nyoka akiona unyasi hushtuka (Swahili) one who has been bitten by a snake startles at a reed
cão picado por cobra, tem medo de linguiça (Portuguese) a dog that has been bitten by a snake fears sausages
7.
Family Ties
žena se plaši prvog muža, a muž se plaši druge žene (Serbian)
a wife is frightened of her first husband;
a husband is frightened of his second wife
Matchmaking
Until relatively recently in the West, open relationships of a premarital kind were not the norm. The Dutch described unmarried couples who lived together as hokken, literally, living in a pigsty together. In many other parts of the world such a set-up still wouldn’t even be considered. The aim of society is to get a man and woman up the aisle, round the fire, or over the threshold:
gökyüzünde düğün var deseler, kadinlar merdiven kurmaya kalkar (Turkish proverb) if they say there is a wedding in the sky, women will try to put up a ladder
giftekniv (Norwegian) a person trying to get two people married
xem mat (Vietnamese) to see a candidate bride before deciding on the marriage
dulang (Manobo, Philippines) to arrange an auspicious marriage, especially between members of two opposing factions in order to bring about peace
sunkiya (Pali, India) the price paid for a wife
Objecting
Not that the young people in question always agree:
tlatlavala (Tsonga, South Africa) to refuse to marry the person selected for one by the family
kestë’shâétkë’ (Mingo, USA) to object to a marriage
luyam (Manobo, Philippines) to hide one’s true intentions in order to throw someone off guard so that one’s real wishes can be carried out (for example, a girl who has resisted efforts to have her married then seems to change her mind so that she will not be watched, and she is thus able to run away)
Camel life
For women, at least, society could always hold the threat that they would end up alone:
ntingitihomu (Tsonga, South Africa) a girl that nobody wishes to marry
momá’kó’éné (Cheyenne, USA) having red eyes from crying because one’s boyfriend got married to someone else
kurisumasu keiki (Japanese) leftover Christmas cake (traditionally applied to women over twenty-five years old)
quedar(se) a (para) vestir santos (Latin American Spanish) to be left unmarried (literally, to be left to dress figures of saints)
radudaraifu (Japanese) single women who spend much of their weekends cooking food and deep-freezing it so that it can be re
heated in a hurry when they return late from work (literally, camel life)
gattara (Italian) a woman, often old and lonely, who devotes herself to stray cats
Old hat
In France the expression for an unmarried woman was even backed up by a festival. Coiffer Sainte Catherine meant to remain single after the age of twenty-five (literally, to put a headdress on St Catherine). From the Middle Ages, St Catherine has traditionally been the patron saint of young girls. On 25 November each year, girls would make beautiful headdresses to decorate statues of the saint. Unmarried women over twenty-five would attend a dance, wearing hats that they had made specially for the occasion, while everyone around wished them a rapid end to their spinsterhood.
Bare branches
However, since the implementation of the Chinese ‘one child’ policy things are changing in one part of the world at least:
gagung (Cantonese) a man who has no woman because of the inequality of the gender ratio (literally, bare branches)
False friends
chosen (Yiddish) bridegroom
dig in (Armenian) wife
I Never Knew There Was a Word For It Page 15