I Never Knew There Was a Word For It

by Adam Jacot De Boinod

  Don’t judge a book by its cover

  ngam tae rup, jub mai horm (Thai) great looks but bad breath

  l’abito non fa il monaco (Italian) clothes do not make the monk

  quem vê caras não vê corações (Portuguese) he who sees face doesn’t see heart

  odijelo ne čini čovjeka (Croatian) a suit doesn’t make a man

  het zijn niet alleen koks die lange messen dragen (Dutch) it’s not only cooks who carry long knives

  11.

  Stretching Your Legs

  zemheride yoğurt isteyen, cebinde bir inek taşir (Turkish)

  he who wants yoghurt in winter must carry a cow in his pocket

  Travel broadens the mind, they say. But in these days of mass tourism and carbon footprints there’s a lot to be said for staying exactly where you are:

  dlanyaa (Tsonga, South Africa) to lie on one’s back with one’s legs apart, gorged with food

  lezarder (French) to lie around basking in the sun like a lizard

  bafalala (Tsonga, South Africa) to lie face down in the sun, to lie asprawl in the open

  naptakhpaya (Dakota, USA) to lie on one’s belly and rest on one’s arms

  ngumulo (Tagalog, Philippines) to put both hands under the head when lying down

  kagwia (Yamana, Chile) to go upstairs and lie down

  Presiding

  Not that you have to remain entirely supine to relax:

  sumernichat (Russian) to sit outside in the evening doing nothing

  seranggong (Malay) to sit with one’s elbows on the table

  kem-lo-re (Car, Nicobar Islands) to sit on someone’s knee

  upa-nishád (Sanskrit) sitting down at the feet of another to listen to his words

  mâhove’êsee’e (Cheyenne, USA) to have a tired bottom from sitting

  babaran-on (Ik, Nilo-Saharan) to sit in a group of people warming up in the early morning sun

  On reflection

  Go to hell

  ‘See Naples and die’ we’re all told, but what do you do after you’ve visited these admirably named places?

  Ecce Homo, Switzerland

  Egg, Austria

  Hell, Norway

  No Guts Captain, Pitcairn Island

  Saddam Hussein, Sri Lanka

  Sexmoan, Philippines

  Silly, Belgium

  Starbuck Island, Polynesia

  Wedding, Germany

  Enviable

  The Yamana people of Chile have clearly had plenty of time to think about the many permutations of sitting: utapanus-mutu is to sit by the side of a person but not close to him; usata-ponur mutu is to turn round and sit facing someone; mumbu-moni is to sit holding anything between one’s lips; while kupas-aiiua-mutu is to sit envying a person.

  Upright

  If you get to your feet it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re on the move:

  pratyutthā n (Hindi) rising from a seat as a mark of respect

  hó’kôhtôheóó’e (Cheyenne, USA) to stand leaning on a cane

  suka-a.-moni (Yamana, Chile) to stand dreaming

  hangama (Tsonga, South Africa) to stand with one’s feet wide apart (like a man taking up all the space before a fire)

  távoeóó’e (Cheyenne, USA) to stand looking goofy

  Pedestrian

  But once you’ve put one foot in front of the other there’s really no going back:

  semeioton (Greek) walking on the spot

  diváviharana (Sinhala, Sri Lanka) walking about in the day time

  hanyauka (Rukwangali, Namibia) to walk on tiptoe on warm sand

  ha shtatin (Albanian) to walk backwards in a bowed position

  Tip-tip-toe

  Although this simple action comes in many different styles:

  vukurukuru (Tsonga, South Africa) the noisy walk of a person in a bad temper

  endal (Malay) to walk with the head and shoulders held back and the breast and stomach thrust forward

  bikrang (Bikol, Philippines) to walk with the legs apart as if there was some injury to the area of the crotch

  onya (Setswana, Botswana) to walk at a slow pace nodding one’s head

  lonjak (Malay) to walk affectedly on tiptoe

  vydelyvat krendelya (Russian) to stagger, to walk crookedly (literally, to do the pretzel)

  uluka (Mambwe, Zambia) a person who walks as if he were carried by the wind

  The trees are blazed

  Be sure you know where you’re going…

  gembelengan (Indonesian) moving around without any certain direction

  sakgasakgile (Setswana, Botswana) to wander about like a homeless orphan

  … that the way ahead is clear:

  jimbulwila (Luvale, Zambia) to walk in an unknown place, where there is no clear path

  tlhotlhomela (Tsonga, South Africa) to wriggle one’s way through thick bush

  … that you’ve decided whether to cover your tracks:

  kodhola (Oshindonga, Namibia) to leave marks in the sand when walking

  kikinawadakwaidade (Ojibway, North America) marks on the trees for the traveller to find the trail through the wood (literally, the trees are blazed)

  tuuna-gamata (Yamana, Chile) to walk over where others have walked before and thus make the tracks indistinct

  … and that the conditions are suitable:

  hanmani (Dakota, USA) to walk in the night

  tidiwitidiwi (Kerewe, Tanzania) dragging one’s steps through sand or mud

  pfumbura (Shona, Zimbabwe) to walk raising dust

  splerg (Scots) to walk splashing in mud

  shatoka (Lozi, Niger-Congo) to jump from one stone or log to another

  False friends

  lost (Cornish) tail, queue

  halt (Swedish) lame, limping

  loop (Dutch) walk, gait

  murmur (Persian) to creep

  silk (Bashgali, India) to be slippery

  That sinking feeling

  As what could be worse than losing your footing …

  anamni (Dakota, USA) to give way under the foot (as snow does, when there is water under it)

  bawela (Tsonga, South Africa) to sink away in deep mud

  kawan (Manobo, Philippines) to walk on air above the ground (for example, when walking in the dark and groping for footing, to step and not find footing where you expected it)

  … mistaking the ground:

  péese’ov (Cheyenne, USA) to step on someone’s fingers

  trapu psa (Sranan Tongo, Surinam) to step on someone’s feet in passing

  gobray (Boro, India) to fall into a well unknowingly

  … or otherwise getting into difficulties:

  dungkal (Bikol, Philippines) to trip and fall head first

  gadngád (Tagalog, Philippines) falling on one’s nose

  kaiyotan (Dakota, USA) to fall in attempting to sit down

  ra (Tsonga, South Africa) to fall backwards on something hard

  platzen (German) to fall over and burst

  af-vegar (Old Icelandic) fallen on one’s back and unable to rise

  pipilili (Tsonga, South Africa) to fall and roll a few times before stopping

  Beard in the postbox

  Oh dear, you’re back where you started:

  nu sitter du med skagget i brevladan (Swedish) now you are stuck (literally, now you are sitting with your beard in the postbox)

  IDIOMS OF THE WORLD

  To carry coals to Newcastle

  Eulen nach Athen tragen (German) taking owls to Athens

  yezdit’ b Tulu s svoim samovarom (Russian) he’s going to Tula, taking his own samovar

  vendere ghiaccio agli eschimesi (Italian) selling ice to the Eskimos

  echar agua al mar (Spanish) to throw water into the sea

  es como llevar naranjas a Valencia (Spanish) it is like taking oranges to Valencia

  vizet hord a Dunába (Hungarian) he is taking water to the Danube

  gi bakerbarn brød (Norwegian) to give bread to the child of a baker

  vender mel ao colmeei
ro (Portuguese) to sell honey to a beemaster

  12.

  Upping Sticks

  suusan tsetsnees yavsan teneg deer (Mongolian)

  a travelling fool is better than a sitting wise person

  You can’t spend your whole life flopping around in one place. Sooner or later, whatever traveller’s nerves you may feel, you just have to up sticks and go:

  gabkhron (Boro, India) to be afraid of witnessing an adventure

  resfeber (Swedish) to be jittery before a journey

  andlamuka (Tsonga, South Africa) to pack up and depart, especially with all one’s belongings, or to go for good

  bishu (Chinese) to be away from a hot place in the summer

  campanilismo (Italian) local pride, attachment to the vicinity (literally, bell tower-ism – referring to the fact that people do not want to travel so far as to be out of sight of the bell tower)

  Reindeer’s piss

  A journey’s a journey whether you are going near …

  poronkusema (Finnish) the distance equal to how far a reindeer can travel without a comfort break – about 5 kilometres (literally, reindeer’s piss)

  tonbogaeri (Japanese) to go somewhere for business and come right back without staying the night (literally, dragonfly’s return)

  … or far:

  donde San Pedro perdió el guarache (Mexican Spanish) to the back of beyond; at the ends of the earth (literally, where St Peter lost his sandal)

  tuwatauihaiw-ana (Yamana, Chile) to be absent a very long time and thus cease to remember or care for your country and people (as an emigrant might after a long absence)

  False friends

  travel (Norwegian) busy

  crush (Romani) to get out

  bias (Malay) deflected from its course

  grind (Dutch) gravel

  Wanderlust

  Some people just can’t wait to get going:

  Tapetenwechsel (German) being bored with the place you’re in and wishing to go somewhere else (literally, let’s change the wallpaper)

  echarse el pollo (Chilean Spanish) to get out of town (literally, to throw out the chicken)

  amenonéhne (Cheyenne, USA) to sing while walking along

  henkyoryugaku (Japanese) young women who in their twenties and thirties rebel against social norms and travel abroad to devote time to an eccentric art form such as Balinese dancing (literally, studying abroad in the wild)

  Tag-along

  But it can get lonely out there, so consider taking a companion:

  uatomoceata (Yamana, Chile) to pass your arm within another’s and bring him along, as friends do

  adi (Swahili) to accompany a person part of their way out of politeness

  Lebensgefahrte (German) one who travels life’s road with you

  nochschlepper (Yiddish) a fellow traveller, tag-along, camp follower, pain in the arse (literally, someone who drags along after someone else)

  ku-sebeya (Ganda, Uganda) to travel with one’s husband

  Wire donkey

  Travel on two wheels is always economical, and can be more or less environmentally sound:

  der Drahtesel (German) a bicycle (literally, wire donkey)

  washa (Luvale, Zambia) a bicycle (from the sound it makes as it runs along a narrow path brushing against bushes)

  stegre (Sranan Tongo, Surinam) to ride a bicycle or a motorized two-wheel vehicle on only the back wheel

  bromponie (Afrikaans) a motor scooter (literally, a growling or muttering pony)

  Loosely bolted

  And though four wheels are faster, there is many a pitfall:

  sakapusu (Sranan Tongo, Surinam) an unreliable vehicle, so called because you always need to get out (saka) and push (pusu)

  galungkung (Maguindanaon, Philippines) the rattling sound produced by a loosely bolted car

  der Frischfleischwagen (German) an ambulance (literally, fresh meat delivery van)

  parte (Chilean Spanish) a traffic ticket; also a baptism or wedding invitation

  gagjom (Tibetan) to set up a roadblock and then rob someone

  Highway code

  Sometimes the greatest danger on the road comes from other users:

  faire une queue de poisson (French) to overtake and cut in close in front of a car (literally, to do a fishtail)

  Notbremse ziehen (German) to swerve away at the last moment (literally, to pull the handbrake)

  shnourkovat’ sya (Russian) to change lanes frequently and unreasonably when driving (literally, to lace boots)

  autogangsteri (Finnish) a hit-and-run driver

  On reflection

  Lucky number plates

  The Chinese particularly like car number plates with 118, which is pronounced yat yat fatt in Cantonese and sounds like ‘everyday prospers’; 1128 sounds like ‘everyday easily prospers’; and 888 ‘prosper, prosper, prosper’. A number plate with 1164 is not popular because it sounds like yat yat look say, which can mean ‘everyday roll over and die’.

  A Hong Kong owner (i.e. a Cantonese speaker) would favour a number plate with just 32168, which sounds like sang yee yat low fatt, meaning ‘a very profitable business all the way’.

  Japanese cars can’t have the licence plate 4219 because that could be read as shi ni i ku, which means something along the lines of ‘going to death’.

  Jesus’s magimix

  If all else fails there’s always public transport (with all the delights that that entails). As the Germans say, ‘We are all equal in the eyes of God and bus drivers’:

  gondola (Chilean Spanish) a municipal bus

  Lumpensammler (German) the last train (literally, rag collector)

  Luftkissenboot (German) a hovercraft (literally, air-cushion boat)

  Or perhaps it’s time to splash out on something special:

  magimiks belong Yesus (Tok Pisin, Papua New Guinea) a helicopter

  Pushmepullyou

  Japanese subways are so crowded that they employ special packers to push people on and others to untangle them and get them off when they get to a station. The pushers-on are addressed as oshiya-san (honourable pusher) and the pullers-off as hagitoriya-san (honourable puller).

  Unknown and uneasy

  The truth is that travel is rarely as glamorous as it’s portrayed. So whatever happens, keep your nerve:

  far-lami (Old Icelandic) unable to go further on a journey

  kalangkalang (Manobo, Philippines) to be overtaken by night on a journey with no place to stay and nothing to eat

  asusu (Boro, India) to feel unknown and uneasy in a new place

  bu fu shultu (Chinese) not accustomed to the climate or food of a new place (said of a stranger)

  wewibendam (Ojibway, North America) being in a hurry to return home

  Empty trip

  And sometimes you will be surprised by unexpected rewards:

  inchokkilissa (Alabama, USA) to be alone and experience the quietness of a location

  uluphá (Telugu, India) supplies given to any great personage on a journey, and furnished gratis by those who reside on the route

  Even if you never actually go:

  kara-shutcho (Japanese) to pay or receive travel expenses for a trip not actually taken (literally, empty business trip)

  Travellers’ tales

  Always remember that, as the French say, ‘À beau mentir qui vient de loin’, travellers from afar can lie with impunity:

  iwaktehda (Dakota, USA) to go home in triumph having taken scalps

  IDIOMS OF THE WORLD

  To beat about the bush

  y aller par quatre chemins (French) to get there by four paths

  iddur mal-lewz a (Maltese) to go round the almond

  å gå som katten rundt den varma grøten (Norwegian) to walk like a cat around hot porridge

  menare il can per l’aia (Italian) to lead the dog around the yard

  emborrachar la perdiz (Spanish) to get the partridge drunk

  13.

  Home Sweet Home

  Padres, primos e po
mbos.

  Os dois primeiros, não servem para casar. Os dois últimos só servem para sujar a casa (Portuguese)

  Priests, cousins and pigeons. The first two are not good to marry. The last two only make the house dirty

  Location, location, location

  ‘Choose the neighbour before the house’ goes an old Syrian proverb; and it’s as well to check out the people living nearby before you move in:

  kwarts-idioot (Dutch) next door to an idiot

  espreitadeira (Portuguese) a woman who spies on her neighbours

  geitonopoulo/a (Greek) the boy/girl next door

  buurvrouw (Dutch) a neighbour’s wife

  búa-grettur (Old Icelandic) a quarrel between neighbours

  keba (Myanmar) a village reserved for outcasts and beggars

  Nesting

  If you have space and time, and hopefully some good materials, your best bet is probably to build your own:

  u’skwææi (Mingo, USA) a brick (literally, cooked stone)

  skvorets (Russian) a person transporting building materials to a dacha in a car (literally, a starling – with reference to nest building)

  méygirathu (Tamil) to cover a house with grass, leaves, etc.